At the Beginning
by JIBBSFOREVER in Paris
Summary: NOT FOR ANYONE WHO LIKES CHRIS. This is a complete story that takes place when Rory was still living at home. Lorelai married Chris, but they have anything but a happy marriage. note: has domestic and child abuse - and sexual abuse contained in here. Please READ AND REVIEW :)
1. Chapter 1

Rory couldn't remember whether her dad had left on his business trip yet. But as she came into the house, she could only pray that the house would be quiet without him.

Just to be safe, "I'm home." She called as she set her bookbag down on the couch. Not hearing anything, she smiled, thankful to have the house to herself. She grabbed a poptart off of the kitchen counter and headed into her room for a nice read.

It might have been an hour before she heard the front door open. She started to get up, to go see her mom, excited to talk with her after a long week of school and stuff. But then she heard her father.

"He is your ex-boyfriend." Rory felt her entire body tense at the angry voice that cut through the house. "No, he is your ex-fiance." _Luke_ , Rory grimaced, _They're talking about Luke._

. She pushed her door closed quietly, hoping to remain out of the ensuing fight. She heard something hit the wall. And when she heard her mom's tiny cry of pian, she knew this was going to be a bad fight.

The front door slammed, locking the rest of the world out of the chaos that was to ensue here.

Lorelai watched her husband's face for any change in acknowledgement to what she had just said. His icy blue eyes bored into her face, the anger emitting enough for his hands to be shaking. He held her purse he had ripped off of her arm when he pushed her into the wall. Following her eyes to his hands, he threw her purse across the room into the mantelpiece, causing pictures and glass to fall and break.

"How the Hell do you expect me to believe you?" He yelled, starting to walk towards her.

Lorelai scrambled to her feet, and started to back away from his advancements. "Chris, please." She said, fear rising in her throat. But he just kept coming toward her. "Chris, you know I love you. You're my husband. I love you." With each step that he came closer to her, her hope of calming him down faded. And her heart sunk when she felt her back reach the end of the kitchen door. He just kept coming towards her.

Her one glance at Rory's bedroom door gave her the relief that at least Rory wasn't home to witness this again. Lorelai hated when Rory saw Chris do this to her. And there was always that fear that Chris would turn on her daughter. It hadn't happened yet. But as Lorelai pulled her mind back to the horrible situation approaching her, she knew Rory would never be safe with how vollitle Chris could be.

He finally reached her. His hands reached her body. Grabbing her around the waist, he pushed her hard into the door behind her, "I might be your husband, but you still want Luke." She whimpered in pain and fear. He brought his hand up to backhand her across the face, but her reflexes were getting better, because she instinctively blocked his hand with her forearm.

That might have been the instinctual thing to do, but Lorelai could tell from his face that it was probably the worst thing that she could have done.

His big hand encircled her wrist, wrenching it down, twisting her arm which caused her whole body to completely reverse so she was facing the wall, her cheek against the hard door. She screamed in pain and he continued to pull her arm up behind her back, sharp pains shooting up her entire spine. He shoved himself up against her so his lips were only inches away from her ear.

"Chris, please stop. Please." She cried, tears streaming down her face, hoping beyond reason that he would calm down with her pleas. But instead of him stopping, he used his free hand that wasn't twisting her arm to grab a fistful of her hair and pull her head back so her neck was elongated and exposed. Now he meanicingly whispered in her ear, "I'll make you forget him. Then we'll be the happy family we should have been." Tears cascaded down her face, her chest heaving with fear as her heart pounded inside of her body. She cried out in pain when he seductively and violently bit into her earlobe, then said, "You'll be in so much pain the entire time you'll have only room for thoughts of pain in that rambling head of yours."

He let her arm fall behind her, the tension a welcome respite. But then he pushed her back towards the living room. She stumbled and fell, but his strong hand still gripped her hair to violently pull her back to her feet only to shove her again toward the living room. He only let go of her hair when they reached the couch, and he gave her one final spin and shove so she was laying on her back looking up at him.

"Chris, no. Please. Not this." She begged. Her imagination flew to what was about to happen. He had gotten violent with her before. She had deserved the slaps and the threats. She took those with little protest, only because she was glad it had never gotten to Rory. She also knew there were feelings she was still holding in her heart for Luke, so she knew Christopher was justified in his feelings and actions.

But this. This was about to go to a whole new level of horror. He was her husband. This was her house.

She put her arms up in protest. "Christopher, don't do this." Her eyes searched into his to find any sort of hesitation from him. This next step wasn't him. This had never happened. "Chris this isn't something we can come back from…"

As she felt his hand reach down and pull her buttoned down blouse apart, she started to physically cry. Sobbing.

"Im your husband, Lor." She wanted to puke hearing him use her nickname at a time like this. "I can do what I want with you." She turned her head to the side when he bent over to kiss her. When his lips didn't make contact because she turned away, he roughly grabbed her face with his hand and forced his tongue down her throat. She couldn't breathe until he lifted his face from hers. She heard his belt unbuckle and she just sobbed even more. "Chris."

Straddling her on the couch, he lifted her skirt enough to graze his hand up her thigh.

She started to fight. "No. Stop." She screamed. Her hands reached up to his face, her aim for anything that would make him leave her alone. He used one of his giant hands to pin her arms above her head, giving him access to her torn blouse and what was underneath. He started to do unspeakable things to her torso with his free hand. She started to scream even louder. "Help. Someone hel.." His free fist came slamming into her jawbone, jerking her head to the side with such violence that she saw stars.

She started to black out, but he spit in her face pulling her back to her reality of hell. His demonic voice whispered into her ear, "You're all mine. And you're gonna be awake the whole time."

Rory whispered through the tears streaming down her face. "Luke. Come quickly. Help." She said into her phone. She knew he would come. She hoped it would be in time.

She then threw open her door, carried her phone with her into the living room where she dropped it onto the carpet, open so he could hear what was going on.

She wanted to keep her eyes closed and not see the horror that was unfolding before her right here in her own home. Her eyes met her mother's first, the fear and angst now filled with terror in the loving, caring best friend that her mother was. Rory knew her mother was more concerned about Rory not getting hurt than she was about the atrocities that were happening to her own body right now.

"Get away from her." Rory screamed at her father. The look of surprise on his face as he stood up from off of her mother made her so sick.

Her mother cried, "Rory, go. Leave now."

But there was no way that Rory was going to leave her mother alone with this monster any longer. "No. He is going to leave." She pointed at her father, who had somehow composed himself to be standing and walking towards her. But Rory would have none of it. "Stop right there."

He didn't listen to her. And she knew he wouldn't. She just hoped she could avoid the worst of what was coming until Luke could get here. "Rory, this is between your mother and I. You need to go and take some time away and cool off." His smooth voice made her want to puke.

She just stood her ground. "No. This is wrong and you know it." Her heart was pounding in her chest, but she continued, "Go, take some time and cool off." She was hoping that the fact that her father had never hurt her would maybe help him realize he needed to calm down and leave.

"Rory, honey, married couples fight. This is normal. You're not used to normal because of how abnormal your mother's relationships with other men in the past have been."

That was it. Now she was angrier than she was afraid. "You monster." She screamed. "How can you even think there is any part of normal to this situation?"

Her mother's voice echoed from the background trying to stop her, "No, leave now, Rory. Stop talking."

But Rory couldn't. "Youre the one who cant accept a normal relationship. Youre so insecure with Mom that you feel threatened because she had a relationship you know was better than what she has with you right now." She could see the anger in his face escalating, but her plan was working. He was distracted from her mother. "I hate having you here. At least when Mom was with Luke we were a real family. This is just your horrible attempt to make yourself feel like more of a man." He was only inches away from her face now. But she couldn't stop. "Well Luke was so much more of a father to me than you'll ever be. He was here. You weren't. And right now, I wish he was here instead of you."

She could hear her mother's terrified scream as her father's hand reached out to the lamp that was on the sidetable and brought the base of the lamp flying toward Rory's head. Rory ducked, missing the weapon aimed at her head.

Her mother screamed, "Chris, NO. She was midway across the living room when the first contact of the glass with Rory's head exploded in pain. Chris, anger flaring thorugh the air, turned toward Lorelai's advancement towards him, and pushed her weak body away. Her mother landed on the ground. Rory was still conscious, nad she looked up to find her father kneeling above her, the lamp in his hand. Instead of coming to his senses, he raised the lamp up again. And again. And brought it down on her shoulder, and on her amrs she tried to use to shield herself. She could see her mother's hands clawing into her father's back, grasping for control of the lamp. But anger was controlling the lamp that came down again and again on Rory's body that was exploding in pain. But as she started to blackout, she heard a voice coming from outside of this hell. _Luke._


	2. Chapter 2

Lorelai watched the ambulance drive away with Rory. Sirens and lights blared outside their house, the lights illuminating off of the entire neighborhood in the dark evening. Police cars dotted the street, Jackson's delivery truck was at the end. Luke's truck was haphazardly parked in the driveway.

 _Luke._

She couldn't even feel anything anymore. She couldn't feel glad that Luke had come when he had. She couldn't acknowledge the feeling of utter terror she still had in her entire body. She just stood there watching the ambulance drive away.

But she did feel the hand that rested on her shoulder. She just about jumped out of her skin, pulled away, and turned around fast.

 _Souki._ She made her mind register.

"Lorelai. Come on, let's get you cleaned up before we go to the hospital." Souki said in her sweet caring voice. It was only then that Lorelai looked down at herself and she suddenly felt cold and overexposed. She accepted the blanket that Souki placed over her shoulders as they walked to the house.

Her hands were covered in blood. _Rory._ Her torn blouse was gaping open, and she pulled the blanket even tighter as she walked past a group of policemen. Walking through the front door, her eyes flew to the couch. Her hands started to shake even more than they already were. Souki directed her towards the kitchen, where the chief of police was sitting at the table. Along with Chris.

Suddenly she felt sick. Bile crept up her throat, and she lunged for the trashcan before she threw up what little food she had in her stomach. Her entire body shook as she retched over and over. Souki never left her side. Once she was finished, she weakly pulled her hair away from her face when she stood up.

Her eyes and his eyes met.

That was when Souki spoke. "Officer, is there a reason he is still here?" It was a question but it came out accusing.

The officer nodded understandingly. "We just have to wait while the evidence is being processed to make sure we arrest him for everything that happened here."

She still stood facing him.

But she was actually watching in her minds eye. The glass lamp repeatedly being drawn back up, more and more blood encompassing the end with each renewed blow. His shirt was covered in blood. Rory's blood. The same blood that was all over Lorelai's body.

His eyes were wet. They no longer held the utterly depraved look that had started this thing.

"Lor." He whispered. "Im so sorry." She watched as he apologetically glanced down her body. And she pulled the blanket closer. He tried to stand up, concern lacing his face. But he was startled by the handcuffs around his wrists. And the moment he attempted to stand to move toward her, three of the officers were immediately on him, telling him to sit down.

Lorelai jumped when he moved towards her. And backed away. But then she reached the living room. With the couch. Her heart started to pound. Panic started to rise. "Soukie. I need to leave. I need to go to Rory." Instead of hearing the words come out of her mouth fast and in succession, she thought they sounded flat, slow, and rather unlike her normal self.

Souki nodded, and said, "Lets just go. We can clean you up at the hospital."

She nodded. But then she heard his voice. His beautifully deep, caring voice. "Let me drive her."

Lorelai looked up into his eyes, the eyes that seemed to see straight to her soul. They were filled with sadness. But concern. And anger. Was he angry at her? She thought. His scruff on his face – she could almost feel it on her face when they had kissed, so loving and tender. He was standing so awkward, she knew he was uncomfortable and didn't know what to do.

And before she could even think about what she was doing, she felt her body drawn to his like a magnet, like her body was giving up the ability to even stand anymore. She melted into his strong chest, feeling his arms sourrounding her, holding her up. His flannel shirt against her bruised face, she could smell the traces of the diner on his clothes. She felt her body shaking, realizing that she was crying. "Luke. Luke."

"Whore."

Chris' voice sent chills down her entire body. Yelling from the kitchen. "You're nothing more than a cheap slut."

Luke's hands around her suddenly changed from lifting her up to a protective barrier. She felt his entire body tense up,

But Chris' voice still pummeled into her head. "And you wonder why things like this happen? Im not even gone and you've already gone running back to him." The officers were telling him to stop. But she could hear him. And she looked back to see him, his angry sadness throwing just as many jabs as his words. "How did you ever think we were going to survive as a family when you were emotionally unfaithful to me?"

Souki was shouting. Luke moved both of them out the door onto the porch. Lorelai couldn't stand anymore; the world around her started to spin, and she began to fall to the ground. But he caught her. He picked her up and she nestled her head into his shoulder, and he carried her to the truck. All she could say was, "Rory. Rory. I need to see Rory."


	3. Chapter 3

The drive to Hartford had never seemed to take such a long time. Luke tried to keep his mind on the road in front of him, but he was drawn to the woman sitting next to him. She leaned against the cold window, her eyes staring blankly out into the cold night. She had been crying. But now she sat there, motionless.

He tried to shake the feelings of anger at the memory of what he had walked in on at the house that night.

 _He knew the police would be here soon – he had called them the minute he got the call from Rory. He threw his truck in park as he drove up over the lawn. He was out of the truck before it had completely stopped. Taking all the stairs in one giant leap, he threw the door open to discover his biggest nightmare._

 _Lorelai was screaming at Chris to stop. Her blood curdling screams still echoed in his mind. "Chris! Stop! Stop!" Her hands clawed at his face, desperately trying with all her might to stop him._

 _Blood was everywhere. All over Lorelai's beautiful face. All over her hands._

 _The bloody lamp in Chris' hand. Up and down. Each down sending shattered glass into – into –_

Even now, Luke couldn't get it through his mind just how horrible Rory looked. _Her hands instinctively protected her face, but she just laid there. Shards of glass in her side, in her hair, in her arms._

Luke looked down at his hands, completely caked in blood – none of it was his – but there were bruises under the blood from the blow he had struck to the head of that bastard. He had wanted to kill him then. That desire had only increased as the night wore on.

 _The only thing that kept him from finishing the coward off right then was the fact that Rory was so hurt. His blow seemed to have knocked the asshole out; now his attention turned to the battered body next to him. Lorelai already knelt over her, and he never, NEVER wanted to hear Lorelai say her daughter's name like that EVER again._

 _"Rory. Rory." She called, her hands running through the blood that was flowing from the thousands of slices in her body. With each call of her name, Lorelai shook her daughter. The shock seemed to be keeping Lorelai from starting any real measures of helping Rory. Luke rushed over, looking for the worst incision to help stop the bleeding. Her face peeked out of her blood stained arms, her brown hair shredded up across her blood caked face. There was no movement coming from the frail girl in front of him. His hands flew to her neck, feeling for a pulse, and he found one. He then told Lorelai, "Grab me anything to stop this bleeding." His hands found one of the more prolific cuts across her forarm, which hang open. He waited for her mother to get up and find some bandages. But he looked behind him._

 _Lorelai's terrified face just kept going from Rory's beautiful face to her battered body. She couldn't move. She couldn't make her body get past the fact that her daughter was laying there in front of her. That all this blood all over everything came from the little girl in front of her._

Luke was startled out of his nightmare when Lorelai finally spoke for the first time since insisting they go to the hospital.

"How did you know?" She asked, her eyes searching his face. He opened his mouth to tell her, but she started to ramble. "Because no one else knew what was going on. There was no signs for this. How did you get there just as it got bad? Did Babette hear and call?" Her hands started flying in the air, trying to make sense of the jumbled thoughts in her head. "You weren't supposed to come over. So why all of a sudden?"

He just stared ahead. Blood still on his hands. "Rory."

A sharp intake of air.

He continued, "She called me. Only said I needed to come over. Right away. I came flying over."

Her face was in pain, utter pain and disgust. "She called you?" Pulling the blanket over her shoulders, Luke could tell that she was disturbed by this information.

He nodded. He didn't know what else to tell her. He just fiddled with this fingers on the steeringwheel.

Her voice now filled with anger. "She shouldn't have left her room." She reasoned to herself, the way that talking somehow seemed to help her work out what was going on in that beautiful head of hers. "She was safe. She knew she shouldn't have left her room. She was safe. He didn't know she was home. I didn't know she was home." She got quieter. "If I hadn't called for help, she wouldn't have came out there."

At that startling revelation of information, Luke almost stopped breathing. "You mean something else was happening before that happened with Rory?" He thought that Lorelai had been trying to stop Christopher from hurting Rory. That was what he thought had happened.

Lorelai couldn't look at him anymore. His blood was about to boil.

"What do you mean, call for help?" He could barely see, he was so angry. "Lorelai, tell me what happened."

It took her a minute to get her nerve up to open her mouth. "It was my fault really. I knew Chris was jealous and thought that something was going on between…" She paused, looking him in the eye.

 _Between US? God, Luke thought, that's what this was about?_

She continued. "I should have known better than to stop and look in your diner. I knew he was having a hard time with you around. It was my fault for stopping."

"Lorelai, it wasn't your fau…" He was interrupted as they pulled into the hospital parking lot, where she jumped out of the truck almost before he had stopped the vehicle.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Author's note: I just wanted to thank all of you for reading so far. I am really sadly enjoying this story, only because this is one of the stories that I have the ending figured out - the journey is the adventure. I wanted to explain that I had to manipulate the time schedule a bit - i put that Rory is still living at home, so this is during her Senior year at Chilton. Lorelei dated Luke, but then agreed to get married to Chris. i KNOW this pushes up the time limit, but i just needed to change a few things - and thats what fan fiction is all about._**

 ** _Please please please review - I have more chapters to post but really would love to hear feedback :)_**

 ** _Thanks so much :)_**

Lorelai ran up to the desk in the emergency room. "Im here with Rory Gilmore. Well, her full name is Lorelai Gilmore." She said, watching the receptionist and waiting for her to start typing in the information into her computer to find out where Rory was. Impatient, Lorelai started rambling on, trying to convey just how imp0ortant it was. "She came in on an ambulance about…" She had no idea how long it had been since the attack. She had no idea what time it had happened. She frantically searched around the room for a clock, but then realized she didn't know the time the ambulance had left the house. "Well, shes really skinny. She has brown hair…"

The receptionist interrupted her. "Ma'am." Her voice was just a little bit calm for such a stressful situation. "We need to get you checked in, and then we can find out what the status on your daughter."

Lorelai barely glanced down at her blood-covered body. "No, you don't understand. This.." And then she started to stumble over her words. "This is… it isn't mine."

She felt a strong presence behind her. His voice spoke assuredly and with the clarity that she couldn't seem to muster. "The blood isn't hers. Its her daughters." Relief flooded over the receptionist's eyes. "She does need to be checked out, but its not an emergency situation. She would like to see her daughter first."

Nodding, she told them that the doctor would be out as soon as possible to give them an update on her daughter's care. Lorelai allowed Luke to lead her to one of the chairs, where she sat on the edge of her seat, jumping every time the doors would open or close.

"Please, ma'am," The receptionist said, "Let us at least get you checked in, and just make sure everything is all good while you're waiting on your daughter."

Lorelai shook her head to protest. _I have to be ready when they are. What if they can't find me?_ But then Luke said, "I think it would be good. Get it out of the way."

She agreed, but said, "I want Luke to come back with me." He nodded in agreement – and the way he was sticking so close, she knew he wasn't going anywhere.

They led her back to a small exam room. They handed her a hospital gown and a clean blanket. "Just put these on, and set your old clothes over to the side. And the doctor should be ready then to come check you out." Lorelai didn't say anything, just nodded her head.

Luke went to step out of the room. Her heart started pounding. "Luke, please don't…" he turned around, and all she could see was Chris' anger at the mention of Luke's name. She lost her nerve. "Please.. don't go home yet." She finished.

"Im not going anywhere until we found out how Rory is." He said as the door loudly latched behind him. She was all alone.

She dropped the old blanket that Sooky had given her to cover up. And looking down at her torn blouse covered in blood, she realized why as her shirt was ripped all the way down the front. She remembered the violent way she had felt so exposed. Shuddering, she tried to speed up the process of getting out of these clothes. Pulling her arms through the sleeves, she winced in pain as her cut arms rubbed against the fabric. Now standing there in just her skirt and bra, she looked down her body, wanting nothing more than to shower and get al the blood and horrible feelings off of her skin. She started to remember how he had groped under her skirt, how he had tortured her with the fear of what was about to happen. She couldn't think. She just sat on the end of the exam table. And cried. And cried. Her body shaking. And she couldn't stop.

A soft knock on the door made her look up, but she could not stop crying. It was a nurse. "Is everything ok? Can I help you with anything?"

Lorelai didn't know what to say. She just allowed the nurse to genly help her out of her bra and helped drape the light hospital gown over her torso. She stood up and stepped out of her skirt and underwear, still crying. The nurse gathered up her clothes, put them in a plastic bag, and give her a warm blanket. "The doctor is going to come in soon." Then she paused, "Do you want me to send the gentleman that's waiting for you in the hall."

 _Luke_. "Yes." She nodded.

The light was dimmed when he walked into the hospital room. She just stared at the wall by the door; she didn't acknowledge that he walked through the door. He was rather thankful for that. Because if she had noticed him, she would have seen the utter horror that came to his face when he saw what had happened to her body.

Without the giant blanket over her, he could see her arms, cuts from the shards of glass were open, although none were actively bleeding that he could see. Then he saw the handprints on her wrists, red and purpeling. Her neck was riddled with bite marks, and his stomach rolled when he realized that only one of them looked recent. Bruises in various stages of healing dotted all the way up and around her arms into her shoulders. Her legs hung off of the table, cuts and bruises just like on her arms – but only above the knee.

He walked over to her. She sat there, a blanket still folded in her lap, but her hands were just shaking with every breath she took. She crossed her arms, seeming to have somewhat of a coping mechanism to protect herself from something. He looked at her, wishing she would make eye contact with him. But what little conversation Lorelia was willing to carry on in the car was gone.

They both jumped when there was a knock at the door and in stepped the doctor. She extended her hand to both of them. "Hi. I'm Dr. Kepner. I'm your daughter's surgeon." The doctor's hair was pulled back into a scrub cap, her scrubs looked clean – like they had been changed.

Lorelai asked, "How is she? What's wrong?"

Dr. Kepner looked at Lorelai and immediately went into doctor mode. "We had to rush her into emergency surgery to deal with the multiple stab wounds and blood loss. There was some very extensive damage to her arms and abdomen." Lorelai gasped, even though she already knew it was going to be bad. The doctor continued, "She lost a lot of blood."

Luke could see Lorelai starting to crumble beside him. "We gave her multiple units of blood to try and get her blood count up." She paused, and Luke hoped that she was getting to the good part. But he wasn't hopeful. "Because of the loss of blood, her brain experienced a lack of oxygen supply." The doctor paused to look directly at Lorelai. "We were able to get her stabilized, but her body sent her into a coma induced by the lack of oxygen to the brain."

Lorelai's voice shook when she voiced her concern, "Is she going to wake up?"

The doctor told her, "Its just a waiting game. We cannot tell the extent to which the brain may or may not be damaged. So right now we just have to wait and see when her body wakes her up."

Luke had to ask, "Can we see her?"

The doctor said, "She is in the ICU, where we only allow family to visit her, but in a few minutes that should be fine." She turned back to Lorelai, "We would like you to finish your exam before we take you back to see your daughter."

In shock, Lorelai just nodded her head, almost giving up all hope or energy to fight for anything. The doctor stood up and said, "We will make sure and keep you updated on your daughter's progress."


	5. Chapter 5

Lorelai couldn't sit here while her daughter needed her. She started to stand up, causing Luke to jump with her sudden moments.

She started to talk. And she couldn't stop. "Luke, I have to go to her. She's probably so scared being here all alone." She noticed she still had on the hospital gown. "No, I have to get my clothes on and find Rory. I can't go out of the room with this hospital gown on. Imagine what rory would say. She would laugh, because, as we all know this has no back." _Why can't I find my clothes?_

Luke's voice startled her. "Lorelai, you have to wait and let the doctor take a look at you first."

"I need to find Rory." She said, her voice escalating. "There's nothing wrong with me. Just a few cuts. Nothing like what Rory is going through." Thoughts of what really happened started to push themselves into her mind. She didn't want to hear those thoughts. So she started talking louder. "She's the one who needs more doctors. She needs us. She needs me." Luke started to open his mouth, but she couldn't hear anything else from him. She yelled, "Why the hell can't I find my clothes?"

Luke said, "I think they took them to get them…" He couldn't find the words, and she just stared at him. Because normally she could finish his sentences. That was why they had been so good togheter.

 _Chris was right. About all of it._

She was still angry, "What are they going to do with my clothes? Make me run around here with this hospital gown until they decide I can have my property back? What kind of fun is that?"

He interrupted her. "They took them as evidence."

"Evidence for fucking wha.." She couldn't finish her sentence. Because her head swarmed with thoughts she didn't want there. _Oh, god. No one can know._ She was so ashamed. No, they cant know.

She was again interrupted, but by the door opening.

A red-headed doctor walked in and introduced herself as Dr. Montgomery. "I'm a gynecologist. Specializing in this type of situation."

Lorelai was still angry. And embarrassed. "Nothing happened. I just have a few cuts on my arms. Nothing more. I just need my clothes because someone took them and I need to go see my daughter because she's the one who is really hurt."

The doctor moved closer, and Lorelai backed away, her heart pounding. "Ms. Gilmore, we just need to make sure everything checks out with what happened tonight." Lorelai opened her mouth to argue, but the doctor continued, "I can't do anything without your permission. How about we just start with the basics of seeing what needs to be done with the lacerations on your arms and we can move from there?"

Lorelai opened her mouth to argue again, but this time it was Luke who said, "How about you let the doctor take a look, and I will go find Rory. That way she isn't alone."

 _He is such an amazing man. He really cares for Rory._ Lorelai thought. Then she immediately felt guilty. _Chris was right. I am a whore._

So deep in thought, all she could do was nod. Just get this examination over, then she could finally go see her daughter.


	6. Chapter 6

Luke stepped out of the room, all of his emotions drained completely from his body. The hospital swarmed around him, the nurses walking by with such purpose. The doctors in their white coats rushing here and there. The wheelchairs and rolling beds that carried patients place to place. Normally hospitals made Luke sick, made him feel like he was dying.

But he couldn't feel that way today. Because he was sure that he already had died and gone to hell. There was no way that something like this happened to Lorelai and he didn't die because of how much this hurt him.

She had been his. He had held her in his arms. He used to wake up to her snuggled against him in the morning. Hell, he had touched her beautiful body; they had such wonderful, almost out of body experiences. She had been so protected, so safe, so cherished. Her beautiful eyes used to sparkle with a love for life. She used to make him smile for no reason each time he looked at her beautiful face. He used to kiss those beautiful lips; he could almost still taste her on his lips. She had been his. He had loved her.

But that was a different woman. The woman in that doctor's room was someone completely different. She was a shaken, afraid, and alone woman. He wanted to throw up when he remembered how her body had looked, how bruised and battered she seemed. How she couldn't even put together an understandable sentence.

He wondered just how long it had been going on. He knew by the bite marks he had seen on her neck that tonight was not the only time this had happened. That bastard.

He saw red. Christopher had better hope that they did arrest him because otherwise Luke would make sure that he would never hurt Lorelai again – but he would make sure that Chris felt afraid before he killed him.

"Excuse me, where can I find Rory Gilmore?" He asked the nurse at the desk, who gave him the floor number of the ICU. He then asked, "Where can I make a phone call?" He didn't want to use his cell phone in a place where he would disturb anyone. They directed him out to the lobby where the elevators were to take him to see Rory.

He pulled out his phone, and pulled up his directory for emergencies. The phone number of Lorelai's parents. He remembered when him and Lorelai were together, he knew he needed to have her parent's number because if something happened to her, he knew they should be able to know. He had hoped he would never have to use it.

But he did.

The phone rang and rang. And it went to answering machine. And he left a message. "Hi, um, Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore, well, I guess, Richard and Emily… well, ummm" he stumbled over how to tell them. "There's been an…" he didn't know what to tell them. It wasn't an accident. Chris wasn't an accident. But he couldn't think of another word. "… accident. I think you should come as soon as possible. Rory and Lorelai are in the hospital." He didn't even say goodbye, he just hung up because he had reached the ICU floor to see Rory.

He followed the nurses' instructions to the room, where he had to look away before he could register what he saw.

Tubes. Everywhere. Tube down her throat. She had a bandage wrapped around her head, like a snow-covered hat. There was a stitched cut that ran down her eyebrow, and her eyelids looked so black and blue compared to her pale face. Her arms, so tiny and frail, were completely bandaged, only her fingertips. IV's coming out of her arms, the machine beeping all around, the glass room so the nurse's could see her when she needed it.

And this was where Luke broke down. This was his turn to cry. He couldn't hold it back anymore. He stumbled to the chair that was beside her bed. And he put his face in his hands and he sobbed. He sobbed for the pain that they must have endured. The horrors that they had experienced. These perfect women, both so innocent and wonderful, going through such hell. Watching how scared Lorelai had been – what he had walked into in that living room. How the terror in her face had utterly mangled his soul – he cried for the poor little girl laying in the hospital bed, the doctors unsure she would ever wake up again. That would destroy Lorelai completely – if she wasn't already destroyed.

He didn't know how long he sat there. He didn't know how much time had passed between the time he called Lorelai's parents and the time that she walked in.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you so much to my regular reviewers : )Thank you so much - and Im offering that anyone who comments on this next chapter will get a private message from me ;) Thanks so much! I also wanted to clear up some more things. Rory doesn't have a boyfriend yet - she had dean and jess but not Logan - but I hope to introduce him soon. But maybe - you'll just have to wait and see! I also just wanted to let everyone know that the more reviews I get the more inspired I am to write - and I'm in college right now, so it might take quite a bit of reviewing to help me with this :) Thanks :)**

 **Final note: Some reviewers said that i should work on having longer chapters - I hope this is a good length :) Let me know :)**

"Oh Luke."

Those were the only words she could muster.

 _Rory._

She stepped closer to her little girl, connected to all these tubes and cords. With each step, the guilt grew.

 _This happened because of you, Lorelai._ She told herself. _You went to Luke's today. You knew Chris would be mad. This is your fault._

Standing above her daughter's bed, she wanted to scoop her daughter up into her arms and protect her. Make her wake up.

 _You've done enough. You called for someone to come help you. She would be fine at home in her room right now asleep if you would have just been the wife you know you should be._

Tears began to fall. But these were tears of guilt. Tears of her realizing that she put her little girl into this mess.

She felt Luke's hand in the small of her back. She wanted to melt back into it, let him surround her in a hug. Be able to smell his strong, manly smell, the flannel shirt against her cheek. She wanted to feel protected and safe. She was always safe with Luke.

But that was what got them into this mess in the first place.

She turned around, wiping the tears away from her face. And she said, "Luke, Im married."

His face was one of confusion. He stammered, "I know that, Lorelai. But that son of a bitch hurt you and Rory tonight…"

"I know." She said, but then she couldn't look at him anymore when she said this, "But his reason for doing it was valid."

Luke got louder now. "No reason validates this."

She was angry now. She was angry because of what had happened. She was angry at herself for not seeing that it could have gotten this bad with Chris. She was angry that she had called for help. She was angry that Luke had left her. She was angry that she still had feelings for Luke – feelings that caused all of this to happen in the first place.

"I still have feelings for you, Luke." She said, now yelling. "And he knows that. Im married and I have feelings for you – so if it's anyone's fault, its mine. It was me who did this." She was too angry to cry. She just shouted. "I wouldn't move. I wouldn't stop walking by the diner. It was my fault."

Now he was angry with her. "You're seriously going to take all of this upon yourself? If he can't control himself and leave if he doesn't think you love him, then he's not much of a man at all."

Lorelai couldn't stop herself. "You're right. A man who leaves the woman he loves without reason or thought is the real man. The man who tries to fight it out and stay with the commitement he made – that's the real dick." He looked confused. Until she said, "I guess you're the best man there is then. Because you refused to marry me. You left."

She opened her mouth to say more angry words, but two nurses came in and interrupted. "This is the ICU. Please lower your voices. Im going to have to ask one of you to leave."

Lorelai crossed her arms in front of her in defiance. "He can leave."

The hurt that swallowed up his face made her heart want to break even more if it hadn't been shattered. She knew she shouldn't have said what she did. She knew that this wasn't what he meant. She knew he was in no wise to blame. But she was so hurt. And he was the one around to see her hurt and feel what she was feeling and she took it out on him.

He turned to leave, and then said, "I called your parents. Left a message." Just as he was almost out of the door, he turned once more to look at her, his eyes filled with tears. And he said, "I'm sorry I made you go to him."

Her heart caught in her chest. She wished he hadn't pushed her away. The love they had shared. It had been beautiful.

"If you need anything, please call me."

And then he was gone.

And she was left alone in the room.

With her daughter's breathing machine beeping with each mechanical breath.

She sank into the chair beside the bed, refusing to leave her daughter alone anymore. She didn't know whether to talk to her or not – she didn't want to disturb her sleep – but she wanted Rory to wake up – Lorelai didn't know what to feel anymore.

She wanted Luke to come back. She wanted him to scoop her up into his arms and protect her from the life that was crumbling all around her.

She desperately wanted to make sure that Chris would never hurt them again. She wished that the first time he had hit her that she had left him – but she knew that it was her fault – he found the letter she wrote for Luke's case. He felt threatened. And that was her fault.

She wanted to feel whole again. She wanted to be able to think through something without the fear and panic that now seemed to be her constant companion. She wanted the feelings she had before all of this happened – that she could be funny, loud, carry on and on about things, joke around – she felt like that part of her had been beaten to death – there was no hope of that ever coming back.

But more than anything, she wanted her daughter to wake up. Rory looked so horrible. Lorelai wanted to see her daughter's eyes open, make her laugh again, make sure she knew just how much her mother loved her. She wanted to erase the horrible memories of seeing Chris beat her horribly – she wanted to tell Rory she was sorry – sorry that Rory had felt like she needed to protect her mother. Sorry that Rory had needed to become an adult like that – and sorry that she couldn't protect her own daughter.

She was startled by a gasp coming from the door.

Lorelai looked up to find her mother standing there. The look of horror on her face was something Lorelai found in common with her mother. Her hair, despite the late hour, was still in perfect order, a nice jacket and skirt on, heels even – she didn't fit in the situation of absolute upheaval. Except for her face. Her face showed complete disgust, fear, and uncertainty.

Their eyes met.

Lorelai didn't know how to read her mother. She couldn't just look at her mother and know exactly what she was thinking – Rory and her could, because of how close they were.

She felt her mother's eyes fly down her body, the hospital gown revelaing much of her legs and arms.

"Lorelai. What happened?" Emily's voice was breathy, like she couldn't find any weight to her words to hold them down.

Lorelai went over to give her a hug, but her mother pushed past her daughter to her granddaughter's side. Lorelai should have known right then that this wasn't going to go like it would with a normal mother-daughter relationship.

"What did you do to her?" Were the words that started everything.

"Mom, I didn't do this." She could barely keep her voice down. The disbelief in her voice should have been evident. _What kind of mother comes into a hospital room, sees her little granddaughter in such conditions, then blames her daughter for this?_ "We need to talk."

Emily's voice was prim and proper, and Lorelai felt like she was just a little girl getting scolded and punished. "Let's wait for your father to get here. Then we can discuss this."

Lorelai couldn't find any words. _What are you talking about? My father? Am I 15 again? Are you comparing this to the time I got pregnant and we have to "discuss this later" at the dinner table? What gives you the right to come in her and dominate…_ But the only thing she could think to say was, "Where is dad?" _Wouldn't they have driven together?_

Her mother didn't even hesitate. She still wasn't looking at her. She was fiddling with the blankets and pillows on Rory's bed. "Your father went to bail Christopher out of jail."

Lorelai's already crumbling world began to fall at this. But she was more angry than she was afraid. "What?" she yelled, no longer afraid of getting kicked out.

Emily jumped, "Lorelai, we don't yell in hospitals."

Her breathing was rapidly increasing. Her blood was beginning to boil. Her hands started to shake again. "Why did he go to get Christopher?"

Defensive, Emily said, "Well stop yelling, young lady. This is a hospital." When she saw Lorelai again open her mouth to scream at her, she said, "Christopher called us about an hour before that diner guy called and left a message on the machine." Lorelai started pacing, her mind having no idea what to do. "He said there had been a misunderstanding and that he knew if he could just come and talk to you and Rory, he was sure you would see and understand."

And now – now was the time that Lorelai finally found her words – the words she couldn't speak all night. She finally found the perfect reason to start rambiling – but with anger.

"This –" she gestured to the bed where her daughter was fighting for her life – "This is what Christopher calls the misunderstanding. He did this." Her mother's face gave her a look of disbelief, like Lorelai was lying. "The man you bailed out of jail – he was put there because he did this to your granddaughter. He was angry because of something I did, and this is what happened. How on earth can you be ok with this? You should have called me the minute you got the call from him you should have called me! Why didn't you call me? You never think of anything but yourself. How could you?"

Emily opened her mouth to say something, but she was interrupted. By her father's voice coming from the door.

"Lorelai, that's enough. Do not yell at your mother."

She looked up to find her worst nightmare staring at her. She saw her father, the man who should have protected her when she was a little girl, standing next to the man who was supposed to protect her since their marriage.

"Get him out of here." She yelled. When no one moved, she screamed even louder, causing the nurses at the desk to come running. "Now. Get him away from her."

Her mother was speechless. Her father, on the other hand, was not. "Lorelai Gilmore, you will not speak to anyone like that. Especially your husband."

Chris' face was white. He could not take his eyes off of the girl in front of him.

Lorelai wanted to kill him. But she found herself being herded towards him. The bigger nurse was escorting everyone out. "I think everyone needs to take a break and cool down – outside of the ICU."

Lorelai started to fight against the nurse, but it was no use. "Please, let me stay with my daughter. She needs me."

The nurse said, "She needs quiet and rest. Take a break. Come back when you're calmed down."

And that's how she found herself again separated from her daughter, stuck in a lobby with her parents and Chris.

She stood away from them, leaving her back to them – wanting them to know how angry she was with them – _And I can't bear to look at him._

She felt something behind her. And then she heard the first words since he had called her a whore. "Lor." He was right behind her. The sound of her nickname coming from his lipsmade her want to puke. She moved farther away.

"Chris, leave me alone." She said, fast and strong, trying to make him go away.

But he just moved closer. She could feel his breath on her neck. _"Im going to make you forget him._ That was the voice she heard as he breathed on her neck. _Breathe. Breathe._ She told herself.


	8. Chapter 8

"Mom. Dad. Get him away from me." Lorelai said with as much confidence as she could muster. She only heard a door close behind her. But she could still feel him breathing on the back of her neck. Her heart was pounding. Then she heard his voice again.

"They stepped out." He said. There was no anger in his voice. No malice. But there was an edge.

 _No. Don't leave me here with him._ Her entire body started to shake. He must have noticed. He said, "Lor, please, Im not going to hurt you. Can we just talk about what happened?"

He sounded sincere. She thought. She still couldn't face him. She couldn't let him see how afraid she was of him. Rory needed her to be strong for her. "Chris, I can't talk to you right now. Give me some space. Please."

A few seconds went by, the only sound she could hear was the pounding of blood through her ears. She tried to calm her breathing. To stop her hands from shaking.

Until

She felt his hand. It slipped between the fold of the hospital gown. Wrapped around her side. His hand dug into her hip, pulling her close to him. _How can this be happening? Right here with everyone all around?_

She started to cry. "Chris. Please." It sounded just like a replay of what had happened earlier.

His voice was quiet now. But now there was a razor sharp edge to his tone. "Be quiet. Let me talk."

She shook her head, not wanting to stay here and listen. But she immediately felt his fingers tighten around her waist, pain shooting up her spine. _How does no one see this?_ Unitl she realized that to anyone looking on, this would be normal between a husband and wife. _He's good. He really knows how to hide this from everyone._

He continued. "I never meant for it to go that far. Lor, you know me. I just got so angry that you went to see Luke today." At the mention of his name, his other hand reached out to her chest and pulled her closer to him. If anyone were to see them, they would just think it was a hug full of passion. _They don't know that Im being held prisoner._ "God, this was never supposed to happen. You have to know that. You have to know that deep down I'm a good person. Otherwise you would have never married me – you would have never married me thinking that I would ever hurt our daughter.

She opened her mouth to talk to him, but was again silenced by the pain in her side, and his hand moved upwards underneath her gown, to her already ravished chest. Tears began to form. _How could they leave me alone with him?_

"You know you still love Luke. You still care for him." His voice was struggling to stay at the quiet level that the hospital required for him to threaten her with. "How is that fair to me, Lorelai? What else am I supposed to do to get you to love me?"

"Not what you did."

She cried silently in pain.

"Well, I guess you have a choice now." _What choice is there? How do I have a choice?_ She thought. His voice now was a bit less threatening, and more calculated. "Richard's lawyer said I could probably get only a year in prison if you pressed charges. Maybe less with good behavior." She had no idea where he was going with this train of thought. "So at the most, you would have one year to try and hide Rory from me."

 _Oh my god. What is he saying?_

"… before I would hunt you down and kill both of you."

She couldn't catch her breath. _He's threatening me – threatening my baby. Who is this? What is happening?_

"You wouldn't." She said, trying to understand. He couldn't have meant that.

She could hear his tiny chuckle right in her ear. "Never thought I would do what happened tonight, did you?"

If the entire night before this had been the worst thing that happened in her life, this felt like she was in a nightmare, like she had died and gone to hell but was still faced to live with the devil strangling her very soul for the rest of eternity.

He continued. "Or."

 _What could he possibly want._

"You could promise to drop the charges. We move to Boston, away from Stars Hollow. Hopefully away from him you would stop your prostitution sin to him." Every fiber of her body felt like it was on fire.

She started to shake her head. _No, let him get away with what he did to Rory? No._

He then turned her around, so she was facing his devilish eyes. Holding her tight around the waist, he made her look at him again. "Don't say no yet. Don't seal your daughter's death."

She wanted to spit in his face. She wanted to pull his eyes out. But he continued. "We leave here. We send Rory to college. She can live with your parents. You sell your portion of the Inn. And we leave here forever."

Her entire life she had built was being ripped away from her. And he finished, "And I promise that I will never touch Rory again. She will never have to see me again."

The only good thing that had come of this whole thing.

"What do you mean? You'll leave me and Rory alone if I drop the charges." She squeaked out, trying her hardest to sounds brave. But with his hands on her, she felt like nothing except controlled.

He smiled, his wicked smile, and sneered, "No, what would be in that for me. You would come with me. We would start a new life in Boston. And we could try and make this marriage work away from the man you're whoring after."

Her head dropped, staring at her barefeet on the hospital floor. Her hospital gown left her feeling so vulnerable. So exposed. To this man.

He lifted her head up so she was forced to look at him. "We could try and make this work. You and I both know you were at fault here."

The words that had been echoing throughout the night seemed to replay in her mind as she remembered being held in Luke's arms, about wanting him to hold her, about him being the emotional stability in the situation. How fast she had gone running to him. Maybe getting away would be the best thing for this. She could always leave him later on if this didn't work out. But there had to be good in Chris - maybe if they left she would be able to get back to the man she married.

But then she thought that she would have to leave Rory behind.

"I can't leave Rory. Chris," She looked at him straight in the eyes, "Chris I can't leave her. You know how close we are."

She flinched as he pulled her close to him, his hands around her arms tightening as he forced himself into her neck. He whispered, "At least she's alive now. Do you really want to put her in danger just because you can't be separated from her? How selfish."

"Chris, you can't mean this. You wouldn't…" But she couldn't finish. Because she remembered all the blood – that was something he wouldn't have done.

He let go of her, now leaving her standing there all alone. And he looked at her like she was a piece of meat, something to be scoffed at. "But be my guest. Be selfish. Keep her with you. Sign her death warrant."

She was speechless. _Where are my parents? What are they doing? Why can't they listen to this?_

"Well."

 _He wants my answer now. How can I answer like this.. I need someone to talk to. Luke. Please come back._ And with that, she knew what her answer had to be. _What a whore I am. I am nothing more than a slut going from one man to the other, whichever one can give me more. At least if I leave with Chris, Rory will be safe. And maybe we can make this marriage work. I have to try._

"Can we stay until she wakes up? I can't leave knowing she won't see me again." She said quietly, sealing her own doom. But at least Rory would have a future.

Chris shook his head. "No, we have to leave tonight. We have to look like we are a solid couple, that you're willing to support me through this."

She couldn't do that. "Its too fast, Chris. I cant just pick up my life and leave her alone like this." Her voice shook as he stepped closer to her again. "I can't, Chris. Give me at least a few days."

"You'll change your mind and go back to him. You have to go now while you know you were wrong."

 _Rory. She needs me. She needs me to be strong. She needs me when she wakes up._

"She needs you to put her above your needs, Lor. You have to know that is the best choice."

Then he said the words that sealed her fate. "Better for her to miss her mother and be alive."

 _I can't believe this is happening._

"Let me say goodbye to her." She whispered, pushing all thoughts of abandonment and any other feelings that grew from this decision. She couldn't think about the life she was about to lead with Christopher. She couldn't think about the fact that she was leaving her only daughter here, alone, in the hospital. She could only think that she was doing what was best for Rory in the long run. And she could only pray that eventually, Lorelai would be able to live with herself for what she was about to do.


	9. Chapter 9

"Rory, are you home?"

Rory startled up from where she was studying on the couch – well, was sleeping on her books. "Yes, Sookie, come in!" She stood up, carful to make sure she didn't drop and pens or pencils on the ground.

Sookie came bounding into the house, carrying a dish as always of some kind of amazing food. "I brought your favorite!"

Rory smiled, "You brought a burger from Luke's?"

Sookies smile faded into a mock angry face. "I have to hope that my chicken cordon blue is a little bit better than a burger from a diner." Then she put her smile back on, not able to hide her happiness with the girl.

Rory pretended to be disappointed, but then followed Sookie into the kitchen. "You know you don't have to feed me, Sookie. I can cook for myself, you know."

They both laughed, and then Rory rephrased, "You know I have money to buy food."

Sookie smiled, her always smiling face, while she got a plate out of the clean dishwasher and started scooping food onto the plate. "I know. I just like bringing you food. It makes me feel useful. Makes me feel like im keeping my promises to your…"

Rory's face fell. Sookie immediately tried to take it back, "I mean, I made promises to Jackson to make sure we didn't let you fade away and starve." But they both knew what she meant.

Rory hated talking about her mom. She had let most everyone in the town know that she hated it. She hated talking about it because she didn't know how she felt about it. She didn't know about waking up out of a coma after five days and finding out that her best friend, her confidant, her mother, had left town with the man who put her in the coma. She didn't know how she felt that her mother had refused to press charges against her father, and without that evidence her case had been thrown out. She didn't know how she felt about being left on her own completely at the age of 18. That her mother hadn't been there for her graduation from Chilton. She just didn't know. Because she was afraid that she hated everything that had happened after her mother left – and she was afraid that she might hate her mother. Only if she thought about it. She was afraid that would happen. So she didn't think about it.

"Sookie, can we talk about something else." Rory asked, taking a bite of the amazing food.

"Of course, honey." She was now washing the little bit of dishes that were left in the sink from lunch. "How is school?"

Rory smiled, the one thing in her life that she loved every moment of. "It's great. I love the classes that Im taking. My modern literature class is my favorite – of course I knew it would be my favorite the minute I found out I would have to take it."

"Yeah?" Sookie asked. "Any love interests?" The sly smile the crept to her face made Rory smile.

"Nothing yet, Sookie. But I promise the minute something happens, I'll let you know." Rory said, thankful to have the sweet woman thinking about her. "This is so good. Thanks so much for bringing it!"

Sookie suddenly looked at the clock. "Oh my! I told Michel I wouldn't be gone too long. I have to get back." She started to gather up her things.

"A big event at the Inn?" Rory asked, out of habit. It had always been a topic of discussion at the house when her…

Sookie nodded. "A big wedding. Making a big cake. Its one of the biggest events weve had in such a long time. Biggest since your mother was here. Took us forever to learn how she scheduled." This time, Rory just let her talk, knowing that Sookie missed her mother too. And maybe talking about her helped her cope.

"Well, don't let Michel be too annoying." Rory called after Sookie ran out the door. She smiled at the thought of a nice Michel. She missed being around the Inn. But it was too painful.

She started to lock up the house, something she did ever since being at home alone. At first, it had taken such a long time to get used to it completely, but after sleeping with the lights on for a few nights, had finally been able to fall asleep with only the TV going. She went into the living room to turn off the lights. It still looked to be the same as when everything had been normal. Except that Luke had completely taken out the flooring in the room. Blood soaked through the floorboards and it was impossible to get the stain out. So he had completely torn out the entire flooring, putting in newly improved hardwood. As she turned off the light in the living room, she glanced up the stairs.

She hadn't made the climb up the stairs since before her mother left. It had just felt too hard. She had no idea what she would find.

And tonight she decided that she wanted to go and see what was left.

Each step up the stairs seemed to provoke a different emotion.

Step. _How could you leave me here all alone?_

Step. _What would have caused you to leave without saying goodbye?_

Step. _Do you ever think about me?_

Step. _Are you safe?_

Step. _Fuck you being safe. What about your daughter?_

Step. _What the hell were you thinking?_

Step. _Does he still hurt you?_

Step. _Are you still alive?_

She reached the top of the stairs, and looked into her mother's room. Tears began to roll down her face as she looked at the bed, still completely made and beautiful. She walked into the room. Everything was still here. Her fuzzy alarm clock. Her cowboy boots – the pink ones. Her box of videos.

There was one of her mother's shirts hung across the bedframe. Rory walked over, took it gently off of the frame, and sat on the edge of the bed. Putting it to her nose, she inhaled, and she was immediately taken back to some of her favorite times with her mother, the times that involved Lorelai hugging her, snuggling up with her, just being her mom.

Now it was Rorys' turn to wish she could talk to her mother. _I miss you so much. I hate it here. I hate living here all alone. How could you just leave? Not even a letter. No phone calls. No way to contact you? Did you just stop loving me?_ She knew that wasn't true. She knew her mother better than that. But those were the selfish thoughts she was thinking.

Then she thought about how her mother really must be feeling. _There must have been something that happened for you to leave me here like this. You must have been in danger._ She got shivers when she thought about her … father. She physically cringed at calling him that. _You didn't love him more than you loved me. Did you?_

 _I just hope you're safe. I just want you to be alright._ That was a hard place to come to. And she came to that place almost everynight before she fell asleep. She was angry at her mother for leaving her. For choosing him. But in the end, even if her mother had abandoned her to be with her father, Rory just wanted her mother to be happy. To be healthy. To be. Ok.

She curled up on the bed, still holding her mother's shirt close to her, like a comfort blanket. She prayed that her mother was ok. Even if Rory wasn't.

She awoke the next morning to the sounds of knocking coming from downstairs. The sun was streaking through the windows. It took her a minute to remember where she had fallen asleep, and she set her mother's shirt to the side as she ran down the stairs to the door. She opened it to find Luke standing there, breathless and afraid.

"When someone calls your house, you answer the damn phone." He said angerly.

Rory was taken aback. And she was trying to wake up too. "Im sorry. I fell asleep – ummm… upstairs… theres no phone up there."

His face immediately turned from anger to that of concern and sadness. "I just got concerned because you didn't come in for coffee. Then I called and you weren't answering. I thought…"

Rory just nodded. They both knew what the other was thinking. "Sorry."

"No it's ok." He said.

Then they just stood there. Each one feeling awkward at the moment.

Rory finally said, "Do you wanna come in? I can get you some coffee?"

He just shook his head. "No, I'd better get over to the diner. Left in a hurry. Didn't even tell anyone I was leaving. "

Rory smiled at the thought of him running out of the diner. "Thanks. For being concerned."

He just smiled as he turned to leave.

Rory called out as he walked out of the yard. "It means a lot."

His smile still seemed like a sad smile.

She closed the door. Just as the door clicked, the phone went off. "I haven't even had coffee yet, people!" she said, exacperated.

She picked up the phone. "Hello."

She cringed at the voice on the other end. "Rory. Darling. So glad I got ahold of you."

 _I don't think I can do this today._ She thought, "Grandma. How are you?"

"We have more important things to talk about. I just wanted to make sure you were ready for tonight."

Rory rolled her eyes, wishing with all her might htat she could forget that tonight was her grandparent's party. Anniversary.

"I haven't forgotten, grandma."

"Oh, Im glad you haven't. But I just wanted to make sure you had the proper dress picked out."

Confused, Rory asked, "I was just going to wear one of the ones I have that you bought for me." She had no idea where that question was coming from – her grandmother had always trusted her tastes in clothes before.

Emily didn't skip a beat, "I just wanted to make sure that you were going to wear something with long sleeves. It may be a warmer night tonight, but out of courtesy, you should wear something that covers your arms."

Rory was speechless. She looked down at her bare arms right now.

She had gotten used to them. She figured that everyone else just accepted that this was what they looked like now. They were full of scar tissue, some of the more deep cuts still had a bit of swelling and inflammation that the doctors were still helping her through. And yes, it had been hard to get used to them at first, but because there was nothing she could do to change what had happened, she just had learned to accept them. Now she thought nothing of her scars.

Her grandmother continued. "I know you feel comfortable exposing them for all the world to see, but at least for your grandfather and I, I just wanted to make sure you were appropriate for the evening."

Rory could barely breathe. She was so angry. And just a little hurt.

And she wanted to yell and scream and curse at the woman on the other end. She wanted to tell her just how little her grandmother actually cared about her – she wanted to say all the horrible things to her that were swarming around in her head. But instead. She just hung up.

And when the phone rang again, she just answered it. And then hung it up again.

And after about the 3rd time of that, she just ignored the phone. And unplugged the answering machine.


	10. Chapter 10

"You look lovely, darling."

Lorelai gazed into the mirror. Her long brown hair hung in curls down past her shoulder. Her long black dress had long sleeves, but a low, plunging neckline. _Just like Chris likes._ She was covered, but still flaunting what he owned.

She watched him through the mirror walk up behind her and sensually put his hands on her hips, roll them downward, and just hold her tightly against his body. "I would do you, that's for sure." He whispered into her ear.

And what scared Lorelai was the fact that she didn't even recoil at his touch. Or his words. It was just business as usual.

They were on their way to one of his work parties. Something they did almost once a week. It was one of the only times she got out of the house. That and when she had to go get things for groceries or do shopping for the house. He never told her where they were going or who they were going to see. She didn't need to know. She was there for him, and nothing else.

He pulled her hair back, exposing her earrings made of an expensive jewel. "I am glad you liked your last present from me."

She smiled, like the faithful woman she was. "They're beautiful, Chris."

He just nodded, and led her to the door, where a limo was waiting to take them out. Opening the door for her, he let her get in, then he walked around to the other side of the car, and got in, signaling the driver to drive on.

She hated the tinted windows. Not because she wanted to see where they were going. It didn't matter where they went. She still had the same job at each of the functions. She was there to make all the other men jealous of her husband. She was to flirt, make men want her, then act like the loving wife – enticing the men to make business deals with her husband, just so they could get another look at her sometime in the future. It had been this way for almost three months. She could care less right now.

She hated the tinted windows because she couldn't see the lights. She couldn't see the people. She wanted to see that life existed outside of her sad existence of flirting and having sex with her husband. She wanted to see the mother's walking with their children. To see young children playing in the parks – to see life.

She wasn't sure how long of a drive it had been – she was used to spacing out while driving – her husband was usually on his phone making deals or calls with the business. But the car stopped. And she waited for the chauffer to open her door. She took his hand when offered it and stepped out onto the concrete with her high heels.

What greeted her was something she was not expecting. Chris as always was right by her side. She grabbed his arm out of habit – something that she was supposed to do. But her mind was not on what she was supposed to do. It was still staring at the house they were about to go into.

 _What are we doing at my parent's house?_ She wanted to ask. But she just turned and looked into his icy blue eyes. Questioning, she wondered whether he would explain. And he took great joy in her look.

And he explained. "It's your parent's anniversary. We wouldn't miss that, would we?"

Her heart was pounding. This wasn't in her job description. She could tell he was taking great pleasure in making her feel uncomfortable – like he had that power over her – and he did. Just normally he exercised that in the bedroom. He must be expanding.

She hadn't spoken to anyone since leaving that night at the hospital. She had no access to anything back home, and she didn't want to right now. She didn't want Chris to take back his promise to leave Rory alone. She couldn't speak to her parents – not because Chris forbade it – but because she couldn't bring herself to speak to those people who gave her no choice but to live with this monster.

She still owned part of the inn. But Chris didn't know – and she had only sent Sookie a letter to make sure she ran it how she saw fit for the time being. She hoped that eventally she would be able to get back to some type of administration from home. Something to be able to do during her days of waiting for him to come home.

He pulled her back into the present fearful situation by squeezing her hand a bit too hard. She looked up at him, unsure of what he wanted her to do. This was uncharted territory.

And he leaned over, his usual smile on his face like he was doting on his loving wife, and said, "You need to make them love me." She smiled back at him, accepting the kiss he planted on her lips, and nodded so he knew she heard him. He didn't need to clarify. Not threaten. If she didn't do as he asked, she would pay for it later. That was just how it worked – she didn't fear it too much normally – but this was a whole new situation.

Walking up to the grand door, the door that had been threatening every Friday night for four years, the door that had been a welcome barrier between her parents and her at the end of each Friday night dinner. And now, she didn't know what it was – was it a welcoming door into the past that she could interact in. Or was it a challenge that she would never overcome.

As it opened, she remembered back to the first time she had been there with her little girl. Rory. Her heart would have broken if it already hadn't been shattered so many times everytime she thought of her daughter. But tonight she was afraid again for her daughter.

Chris had promised that he would not get close to Rory if Lorelai left with him. If he was willing to get this close just to impress her family, she wondered whether he would get closer to her daughter just to make her afraid again.

She hoped that she would not see her daughter here – for the first time in her life, she didn't want her daughter to be where she could see her.

Walking into the foyer, the maid offered to take their coats. Lorelai handed her wrap and purse to the maid, cautiously looking around for people she knew. So far it was just people her parents knew. She smiled at them, always hanging on the arm of her husband. It was her job.

"Christopher."

Emily's voice called out to Chris first. _They're unbelievable._ She turned to find her mother standing there, looking elegant in a beautiful dress, nothing else having changed. Except that she saw something in her mother's eyes that she hadn't seen before. _Approval._ And it made Lorelai even more hurt. But of course she didn't show it. _They have no idea. As long as it looks good on the outside, as long as everyone else approves, she's happy. All about appearances._ That was the motto of Lorelai's life anyway.

Emily gave Chris a peck on the cheek, a polite way of showing affection. Emily leaned over to give her daughter a emotionless hug. "So glad you could make it tonight, Lorelai." Her voice was just as if she was talking to another guest coming into her house – doing her job as a good hostess.

Lorelai disguised the disgust in her voice. She had done much worse, "Lovely party you're throwing here, Emily."

That threw Emily into a confused look. But she didn't say anything. She just gestured to where the caterers had food spread, and said, "Please, help yourself." And walked off to talk to another guest.

Chris leaned over, again squeezing her arm painfully. "What the hell was that? Talk about making it awkward." She just nodded, hoping she could keep him mellow. Which involved keeping him away from the alcohol. The nights he spent at the open bar at parties made her nights with him even worse at home. Which was saying something.

They walked over, and both picked up a small finger food. She just held hers, because she wasn't allowed to eat at functions like this – Chris didn't want her to. He had to keep her looking as wonderful as possible. But she held hers while he ate his, then she handed hers to him. It was just what they did.

Chris grabbed a glass of scotch from the bar, and Lorelai tried to steer him away from it, but he just sneered at her, making her watch as he drank not one but two before venturing over to where some of the older men were gathered. And this was where Lorelai did what she was here for.

"Well now," One of the gentlemen said looking her up and down, "Christopher Hayden, you have found yourself a wonderful date for the night."

Chris had it down to a science. "Of course, Thomas. There's something to be said of those streetcorners" They laughed, looking straight down her neckline. He continued, "What do rich men do when they've donated to charity as much as they can? They take in charity."

Lorelai just smiled, laughed even, and leaned over to give her husband a sexy kiss on the cheek, to which he smiled at the men and said, "See, men, this is the life."

And now it was her line, "For me, that is." And everyone laughed. The man who had asked about her in the first place, Lorelai remembered Chris calling him Thomas, leaned over and touched her arm, pulling her over to him and saying, "Now, girl, if you ever get bored with this young whippersnapper, you just give me a call."

And she seductively looked at him and said, "Maybe the old dog could show me some new tricks."

And everyone laughed. But they all looked at her with the lust that she had been trying to achieve. Because that was what Chris wanted. And what Chris wanted, she wanted.

She looked up past the men, and she found her eyes meet someone who didn't laugh at their dirty joke.

 _Dad._

His face was white. Like he had seen a ghost. He looked away, like he couldn't bear to look at her.

And she didn't even feel ashamed.


	11. Chapter 11

She leaned up to Chris, "Let me go talk to my father." He immediately looked at her like she should not tell him what to do. But she tried to explain, "He isn't going to be as receiving if youre there." She put no emotion into it. Because there was no emotion in her action. She didn't want to talk to her father. But her job was to get her parents to like him even more. So she had to do her job.

He nodded his head, but then whispered, "Remember."

She shivered slightly – the one time she hadn't fulfilled what he wanted her to. She never wanted to feel pain like that again.

She excused herself from the men, and she knew as she walked away that they were watching her body move across the room. Again, part of her job.

Her father chugged back another drink as he watched her walk over to him. _Alcohol._ Lorelai hated the stuff. Hated the stuff when it came to men. That is. She used it quite often when she needed to – when Chris was in a horrible mood – she drank as much as she could hold so she would feel less of what was happening to her.

"Dad, how are you tonight?" She asked, keeping her seduction out of her voice.

He just rolled his eyes, ripped back the rest of his drink, then said, "The real question is who are you tonight."

She acted confused, although she knew he was referring to how different she was since the last time she had been over here for dinner. "What do you mean?" Then she pretended to have a revelation. "Oh, you haven't really seen Chris and I since weve had time to work things out."

"Are you sure you aren't working things out with men other than your husband." He accused.

Again, it didn't hurt her at all. "How have things been around here lately?" She asked, letting him have the last accusing word.

This time he looked her directly in the eyes, grabbed her arm, and pulled her into his office. She didn't even feel fear at all – and his grip on her arm was nothing compared to what she had experienced the last three months. He slammed the door shut hten got in her face. "Lorelai Gilmore! What kind of brazen hooker do you think you are? Flirting openly with men twice your age. Right in front of your husband, no doubt. And no shame. No shame when I saw you. No shame when that asshole Thomas touched you – you just leaned into him and practically begged him to take you to bed!"

She opened her mouth to say something, but then he kept going, "And you have the audacity to wear something so desperately provocative. I cant imagine that you wouldn't mind wakling around here with nothing more than underclothes on with the amount of skin you're showing."

She just bit her lip. Letting him finish. Because that was going to be the way things were. "How do you think this makes your mother and I feel? We finally get you married to a wonderful, prestigious man after years of you refusing to acknowledge Christopher's existence, then once we get you hooked, you throw all the respectability down the drain and shamelessly proposition men. At our anniversary party, nonetheless."

He was silent then, just waiting for her response. She wasn't scared at all.

Until she heard Chris' voice from the doorway.

"Richard, Im so glad you see it too."

Her eyes physically rolled. He was going to play it this way. "Ive tried to get her to keep herself to me, tried to talk with her about the fact that we are a couple, not her and all of my business partners." Now he was closer to her. She knew this was going to end with her being humiliated. But she was fine with that if she made her dad like Chris – which was what she needed. Chris continued, "I mean, sure, its embarrassing as a husband knowing she's so unsatisfied in our marriage that she has to look outside of our bedroom for ways to satisfy herself." He grabbed her around the waist – it looked gentle and loving but her raw skin underneath didn't feel the genteleness. "But I feel more for you, having your only daughter making a reputation like this for herself."

Richard had turned away from them, too embarrassed to face Christopher. And Chris looked at her. And she knew he was happy with her. Right now.

"I think what she needs is to be kept away from people for a while. Take a break from meeting new people and having people to talk to just to try and work through what might be causing these problems." Chris finished.

Lorelai didn't feel ashamed. Or angry. But she did feel that her husband was one of the most devilish manipulators. He had taken what he had told his wife to do, made her make Richard feel like a horrible father, and was about to make him agree that Lorelai should be kept away from the outside world to help her be a better wife and daughter.

Richard nodded his agreement, and turned back to face her. And he said, "Lorelai, I wish you had learned the first time you got pregnant that the life of sleeping around and using your body to get you what you want isn't the life you wanted. Maybe with a good man, a patient man, like Christopher, maybe youll realize that you are a good woman, just you, you don't need to use your body to find fulfilment in life."

Chris and her father began discussing things other than her, and she didn't care to listen anymore. She wanted to retreat into her own little world. But she knew she couldn't. She excused herself, saying she needed to go to the bathroom. And as she left, she acknowledged Chris' glare at her to make sure she stayed in her role as his wife. She had no other ideas.


	12. Chapter 12

**Please know that this chapter is one of the most graphic Ive written yet. Please know that and read with caution**

Lorelai just wanted a break from being the seductive, failure wife. She just needed a minute to sit. She thought her old room would be a nice place to sit. And if Chris came looking for her, she would say she wanted to have him there with her, just like old times.

She stepped into her old room, the light off. She just wanted to sit on the bed and be alone. But as she turned the light on, she was startled at who was also sitting in there.

"Rory."

Her daughter turned around to face her.

"Mom."

Lorelai just drank in the sight of her baby. Her baby was alive. She was standing. She wasn't connected to a machine. She looked gorgeous in her beautiful flowing sleeveless dress, she looked so grown up, but kept it modest for her age. Her eyes glistened with tears, and Lorelai noticed that her cheeks were red, and her nose. She had been crying.

"Rory, what's wrong?" She asked. She had imagined this moment for a long time. She never imagined that it was without Chris here. She always imagined that the first time she would see Rory would be when he was threatening her with her daughter. She never imaigined that she might be able to hold her daughter. To apologize. To tell her how much this was so messed up.

Again, her daughter said the word Lorelai wanted to hear the most. "Mom."

And Lorelai embraced her daughter for the first time in three months. She ignored the stabbing pain that her body projected as her daughter wrapped her arms around her waist. She just snuggled her face into her hair, taking in the smell of her beautiful little girl. She just held her little girl, feeling with each breath Rory took, held her little body as her daughter's sobs overtook her body. "Oh, honey. Im so sorry. Im so sorry it hurts." She whispered, cherishing each moment with her little girl.

Tears gathered in her eyes, not because she was happy. But because she knew she couldn't stay. She knew she couldn't let Chris find her with Rory. She almost shuddered with the thought of what he could think of to do to Rory to make Lorelai pay.

She had to pry Rory off of her, and she made Rory look at her in the eyes. "Rory. I need you to listen. I don't have much time."

Rory nodded, agreeing. Sniffing, and wiping her eyes, she could hear the seriousness in her mother's tone.

"Always know I love you." Lorelai started, begging her eyes just to make it to the end of what she had to say. "There is nothing I wouldn't do to make sure you were taken care of and safe."

Rory nodded, and said, "Mom. Why did you leave me then? What happened."

Lorelai tried to ignore how much her heart was breaking listening to her daughter hurt. "Rory, I cant explain everything. You wouldn't understand. And I wouldn't want you to." She said, some of the things Chris had made her do crossing her mind. "You just need to know that I am fine. And that you must remember that you can do anything you set oyur mind to. You are am amazing girl."

Rory opened her mouth to say something, but Lorelai knew Chris would come looking for her any moment, leaving her with little to say to her little girl. "Shhh… just listen. I need you to tell Luke something for me." tHe first time she had said his name in so long. It hurt. But she pushed that aside. "Tell him to remember the letter" Rory looked confused. "He will know. Just tell him."

And she knew she was out of time. There was nothing that was stopping Chris from walking into that room. She leaned down, and as much as it hurt, she put a kiss on her daughter's forehead. "Rory. Please never forget that I love you."

And with that, she left her daughter sitting on the floor of her old bedroom. When Rory started running after her, she turned to her and firmly, the most firm she had ever been in her life with her daughter, she said, "Rory. No. Stay here. Then go home after the party is over."

Rory, taken aback, didn't follow. Lorelai walked out of the door, turned the light off in the bedroom, and shut the door.

She immediately started walking away from the door, walking toward the bathroom, so that if Chris found her, he wouldn't think she had been in her room. She tried to keep the tears in her eyes from spilling out. Two fell out, and she quickly wiped them off her cheeks. He couldn't know something had happened. She could cry later. He would hurt her enough anyway, she could disguise it as cries of pain. Instead of her body being broken, it would be her soul that was breaking in two.

Standing right outside of the bathroom, she stood and waited for Chris, who at that moment came walking up looking for her. "What are you doing hanging out by the bathroom, Lor?" He said in his loving husband tone, until he realized no one was around, and he pulled her close to him and kissed her mercilessly, leaving her entire mouth hurting. She tried to pull away when he wouldn't let her breathe and he let go. "Lets go home. Where you can't pull away."

He led her down the stairs, ever man's eyes following her body down the staircase. Halfway down, he whispered, "You call that walking?"

She inwardly cringed. And she exaggerated her hips swaying to the side. And she could see the lust dripping out of every man's eyes. Except for her father. And every woman in the room scorned her. Her mother sent her a look that would have killed. And Lorelai was about to take death over what was about to happen to her.

They gathered their coats, she took her purse, and she thanked her mother and father for a lovely evening and wished them happy anniversary. He father would not speak to her, but he leaned over to Chris and said something she knew Chris would laugh over later. Her mother's icy glare never stopped. And as the door closed behind her, she wondered whether those would be the last exchanges she would have with her family. She thought it pretty fitting seeing as how this was how her family had always treated her.

The chauffer brought the car over, and opened her door. She stepped into the limo. Chris got in on the other side. And the car drove off.

Chris pulled her over to him, resting his head in her hair. "You did good, Lor. You did good." She was only a little happy that he was happy. Because she knew something was up. That kiss at the top of the stairs was too violent for him to be happy.

And he grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her face upward to his awaiting mouth. She cried out in pain. He just smiled at her discomfort in the middle of his assault on her mouth. He pulled away and shoved her against the door. He smiled at the chauffer, rolled up the privacy window separating the man driving from the backseat.

She just closed her eyes only wondering what was going to happen next. This was new. He never started in the car.

He grabbed her neck, using his hold on it to pull her up in her seat, so he now had access to her entire chest. Taking the V-neck dress material in each hand, he ripped her dress violently down the middle, so instead of stopping in the middle of her chest, it now went all the way down to her legs. She cried out in shock, which only seemed to excite him.

"What did you think of your surprise tonight? Were you happy to see your family again?" She couldn't look at him. Couldn't look at the hunger in his eyes. Not only hunger for her body. But hunger for her destruction. He lived for the days he could best her. For the days he could make her hate him even more. And for the days he could rub her nose in the fact that he was in control over her. And the fact that she could do nothing about it.

When she didn't say anything, he slapped her across the face. "I asked you a question, Lor." She didn't even whimper. "What did you think."

She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Again he slapped her. And waited for an answer. "I…I… I was embarrassed."She said, hoping that was what he wanted to hear. She would tell him anything he wanted to know. But it wasn't enough. She could tell from the anger in his eyes. "Think about the long drive we have from here to Boston." His sneer was nothing new. But his empowerment that he had used her family to hurt her – this was something new – and she could tell this wasn't going to be anything like anything that had already happened. "We're going to have so much fun."

She whimpered as he again grabbed her throat and brought her to the floor of the limo – a big floor for something big that was about to happen. "Does it turn you on thinking about how your dad thinks you're a whore? He knows just like I know you're nothing more than a slut looking for men to give her approval for her body." She tried to turn him off in her mind, but the connection that he was using with her family made her unable to disconnect. "I asked you a question, Lor."

She was so tired. So emotionally exhausted. She said the first thing that came to her mind. "I don't know, Chris. Im so tired."

She watched his eyes go from hungry to deadly. And he grabbed her throat but this time he didn't throw her anywhere. He just tightened his grip, longer and longer. She started to see stars. She started to panic. The look he had in his eyes was the look he had the night with Rory. The look that said he was so angry he wasn't thinking. She started to fight against him, the first time in three months. She clawed at his face, trying to get him to release his grip on her windpipe. She must have made connection with something painful because he cried out in pain and let go of her throat. She just rolled to her side, coughing and sputtering, trying to get air in as much as possible.

He was sitting in the corner of the limo floor. His legs stretched across her legs. Her sleeves of her dress had fallen, leaving her completely bare from where the dress had fallen off. She sat up against the opposite door of the limo. She tried to speak so she could apologize. "Im sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Chris. I just couldn't breathe. It wasn't on purpose." She apologized. But he didn't change. He just glared at her, his cheek moist with blood from her fingernails.

And then suddenly he was on top of her, his fist beating down on her over and over and over again. She cried at first. Then she stopped, knowing using that energy would not benefit her at all. This would stop when he was ready. Or when she died.


	13. Chapter 13

Rory waited until her mother left the room, turned off the light, and shut the door.

She was in shock. But she couldn't just let her mother leave her like this. She quietly opened the door, and peeked out. Looking down the hallway, she was about to step out and run after her mom, but then she saw her father coming up the stairs. She quickly shut the door as quietly as possible. She had barely gotten it into her head that her mother was here – and now he was here – what was going on?

She again opened the door, and saw them kissing there in the hallway. But when they parted, Rory read something on her mother's face. _Pain._

And her own heart broke with the thought of how much she had hated her mother for leaving her. But watching her father lead her mother down the stairs, she hated herself for the evil thoughts she had towards her mother.

This wasn't her fault. How could she have thought her mother would willingly abandon her? What kind of daughter believed the bad in her mom from the start?

She was suddenly cold, but she knew she had to stay in the room until the party was over. Her mother knew what was best. She went over to the bed, to grab a blanket. She looked down at her bare arms – her arms that were covered in scars that her grandparents had been embarrassed about.

 _Mom didn't even notice them. She just saw me. She was glad to see me. She didn't think I was a freak._

And with that she broke down and cried, laying there on the bed that her mother had slept on as a little girl. But suddenly Rory didn't feel like a little girl anymore. She felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Like she had to do something to help. And he lay there for what felt like forever.

But once the sounds from downstairs died down, she crept out of her bed, wiped her face, and walked down the stairs. She couldn't bear to look at her grandparents, but they were there. "Oh, Rory, we thought you had left earlier."

She just smiled and said, "I was just sitting in Mom's old room. Reminds me of her."

She thought they would smile at her, and think she was sweet or something that old people thought about their grandchildren. Except her grandmother was just looking at her arms. Then Emily turned to her husband and said, "Richard, do you think there's some kind of procedure they could do that would help them look more normal?"

He just looked at them, and said, "Emily, its not that bad when you don't look right at it."

And Emily just nodded her head, then looked at Rory's face for the first time since she had come down, "You really should try and wear something to cover that up. Imagine a man who might think you attractive to see that right away. That's something oyu have to work people into."

"Goodbye Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa." And with that she slammed the door behind her. And was so thankful to be away from them.

As she drove, she pulled out her cell phone. She had to call Luke. She had to get ahold of him. She had to let him know what had happened.

The phone at the diner rang and rang. Rory refused to hang up. She knew he would answer eventually. And he did.

"What the hell? Its 11 oclock at night." He yelled into the phone.

She couldn't help but smile, "Luke. Its Rory."

Most of the edge left his voice. "Is there an emergency?" He asked, "Are you ok?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know. You either are ok or you aren't ok. That's not a hard question."

She paused for a moment trying to form the words.

"Rory, you can't just call this late and not have…"

"I saw Mom tonight."

The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening.

Rory continued, her voice breaking. "Luke, I think he's hurting her."

And now Luke had found his words. "What? How did you … what did she … is she ok?"

Rory shook her head, then realized she was on the phone and he couldn't see her. She forced herself to get the words out. "She told me to tell you something."

Nothing on the other end. Like he couldn't believe she thought of him.

"She told me to tell you to 'remember the letter.'"

She expected to hear a gasp on the other end, to hear an answer to the riddle.

But she heard nothing.

And she called out again.

"Luke. Luke? Luke? Are you ok? Luke?"

Luke had dropped the phone in his search to get his keys. He had to get to her. He had to get her away from him. _How stupid can you be, Luke? Like she would choose to leave Rory to be with the man who hurt Rory?_ He finally found his keys laying on top of the counter. He stumbed out to the door, slammed into the door because he forgot to open it. He fumbled with the lock.

 _Of course she needed him. Of course that bastard was hurting her. What else would be happening? He jumped into his truck and he dialed the one person he knew who had some kind of contact with Christopher._

"What is the meaning of calling so late in the evening, young man." Richard boiled into the phone.

The man was yelling at him. "How dare you call me so late and then yell in my ear like a banshee."

Until he heard his daughter's name. "What do you want with my daughter. You stay away from her. She's finally in a marriage, although she can't seem to understand that…"

"what do you mean to insinuate?"

"I will most certainly not tell you where Chris lives in Boston. Why would I?"

Richard was speechless. "He is not hurting my daughter. He wouldn't…" Then it dawned upon him. _The night in jail. But he had promised him…_ His mind flew back to earlier that night, trying to remember how they were standing when he was talking to the men, when Lorelai was acting like… _Oh, my, god. His hands, they were all over her. He was looking on with excitement._ And her face when he had walked into the office when Richard and Lorelai had been talking. _She was terrified. What have I done. God, what did I do?_

He gave Luke the address. And hung up the phone. And he promised himself he would not let the diner guy get there first before he finished off that bastard.

Lorelai whimpered in a pain she had never known. This was something she had never experienced. She was pretty sure her collar bone was broken, and a few ribs.

He never punched her in her face. That was what he liked to look at while he used her. Sure, a few slaps here and there, but never too much, and never so they left permanent marks.

But with each breath she took in she knew something was wrong. Her side hurt. And, because she was still naked, she could see a dark black coloring settling over her chest.

She didn't know when they got to the house. She couldn't remember – she thought she must have blacked out. But when she woke up, she was laying on their bed, her hands tied to each of the posts. The room was dark. She couldn't make out what was going on. She hoped he had left her alone for a while. She just wanted to sleep – just so she could take a breath without her chest hurting.

Then she felt a searing pain across her abdomen. She screamed in pain. And in her sudden pain, unable to think before she screamed. She screamed for the one thing she thought could give her hope. The name she repeated in her mind when he would do horrible things to her. But this time, she didn't think. She screamed it out loud. "Luke."

Suddenly the light flipped on, causing her to jump in fear. She wished the light was off. At least then she wouldn't have had to see what he had waiting for her. A knife lay across the bed. He had used the knife as a prop before, making himself feel more powerful. But the knife had blood on it. Her blood. – coming from a cut on her stomach. In his hands he held something with long cords – something… she looked to his eyes.

She tried her pleading. "Please, Chris please stop. I can't do this anymore. I want to be your wife. I don't want to be your plaything. Please. Don't do this."

She thought maybe the hope of a faithful wife would make him happy. He just moved closer to her.

Tears flew from her eyes. Her words started flying out of her mouth – it was her way of coping and trying the best she could. "Chris, I did what you wanted me to. I made my parents love you. They thought I was the slut you know I am – they knew you were the one who is here to make me a better person – they loved you."

But he had reached her. And he took the cords and wrapped it around her neck. "No, Chris, please. Don't do this. This isn't what you want." And she now resorted to selling herself to his monster. That was the only way.

"Chris, if you kill me now, you wont be able to make me do what you want me to do. You won't be able to use me like you do. You wont be able to rape me whenever you want…" She hardly spit that word out, but she knew he loved that. "Chris, I want you to make me want you. Make me want you. Treat me like I need to…" The cords began to tighten around her neck.

And he just stared at her, slowly pulling the cord through the knot. She felt it start to tighten, slowly moving up her throat to where her head connected to her neck.

And he said the first words. "I tried."

And she knew it was the end.

Richard ran up to the door of the mansion that Chris was keeping his daughter in. The door was locked. He tried hitting the door. But he wasn't as strong as he used to be. He didn't know what to do.

Until the man from the diner came up behind him, stepped back a bit, and ran at the door, lifting his foot at the last minute and breaking the door into splinters.

Richard had never been so glad to see an unkempt man wearing a backwards baseball cap before in his life.

Luke yelled for Lorelai. He just kept yelling her name, as he threw himself into room after room.

He went up the stairs, screaming her name, knowing he could be too late. He couldn't let that man have her any longer.

 _Im losing consciousness. I hear Luke._ She thought. It was closing tighter and tighter. And then it stopped. Chris' eyes got wide. Like he was excited. He heard something.

 _Was it Luke? How? It couldn't be. It couldn't be that he was coming? That was just a last dream that she was having as she drifted away._

But Chris had stopped tightening the rope. She could still breathe. He had lept over to the door to the bedroom. His eyes were wide. And he was smiling. She started to struggle.

"Stop." He commanded. And he expected her to. She always used to. But this was the end.

She tried to pull her hands out of the restraints that he had tied her to. The bed post hit the wall over and over.

And he came over and grabbed the knife and held it to her throat. "Stop."

It was a last ditch effort. But she pulled at the restraints one more time.

And she screamed in pain. He had sliced the knife through her exposed forearm.

"I said to stop!" He yelled. Then he realized what he had done.

He heard her. He heard pain. His blood was boiling. He found the door and he threw himself into the room. There the bastard was, standing by the bed. That was who he was after this time. He wasn't letting him get away this time.

Luke charged at him, and he heard her scream, "He has a knife." Just in time to allow him to jump out of the way of the hand that would have stabbed him straight through. Luke grabbed the hand and started to wrestle the knife out of his hand. Chris used his other hand to throw a punch at Luke's un-protected face. Luke stumbed backwards, losing his grip on the knife. He hit his head on the post of the bed as he fell to the ground.

Foggy, he saw Chris stand above him, and smile. Then he lunged at Luke.

Luke was done for. He had no weapon.

Unitl he heard a gunshot.

And Chris collapsed on top of him.

Dead.

In the door, between the smoke, Richard stood, holding a pistol. Tears running down his face.

Lorelai watched as Chris fell to the ground. She watched as his body hit the floor. She saw his shocked expression on his face. She saw him. She saw him die.

She started to cry. There stood the one man she still loved.

"Lorelai. Im going to get you out of this."

She couldn't stop crying. She just kept crying and asking, "Is he dead? Is he dead?"

Luke just kept telling her that he was gone. That she was safe.

But she had been safe before. She had been safe before. And this happened.

She heard sirens in the background.

Luke let her hands out of the restraints, he went to take the blanket from the bed to wrap her in.

She shook her head, "No no. not that. I don't want that on me."

He just nodded. And took his shirt off, and slipped both of her arms into it. And he buttoned it up, and for the first time, she felt like she was covered from the world. The flannel against her skin – he picked her up in his arms, stepped over the body of her captor, and carried her down to freedom.


	14. Chapter 14

So I am going to continue the story - the healing and reshaping of their lives - only if I get some reviews!


	15. Chapter 15

_"Lor. Where are you?"_

 _She cringed from where she was sitting on the ledge of the tub. She just wanted him to go back to sleep. She wanted nothing more than to just ignore him, pretending she hadn't heard him. But she knew that wouldn't fly. At all._

 _"I'm in the bathroom. I'll be right out." She lied, hoping he would just fall back to sleep._

 _Tonight was another night she couldn't sleep – which was most nights – she never knew what really was keeping her up. She didn't know if she was still getting used to the new house – the sounds of creaking and shifting of the historic house that Chris had remodeled for them. It had been almost two weeks, but she still didn't feel this was her home completely. She didn't know if it was the bed – it was one of the most comfy mattresses she had ever slept in – the down pillows, expensive blankets._

 _"Come back to bed." He said, "I miss you." He sounded so sweet. So adoring of her._

 _She pushed herself off of the porceline tub – and caught a glance at herself in the mirror before flipping the light off. She wondered how anyone could be adoring of her, looking like this – her eyes were sunk into her face – dark circles drawing even more attention to her sleep deprived face._

 _She stepped out into the bedroom and found her way back into bed. He lifted the blankets so she would have a place to crawl into, and when she laid on her side, facing away from him, he lovingly moved over and snuggled her into his body, wrapping her back into the blankets and laying his arm protectively over her._

 _Quietly, and in a sweet sleepy voice, he asked, "Is everything ok?"_

 _She just nodded._

 _He gave her a kiss on the cheek before he lay back on his pillow. She listened until she could feel his breathing deepen into sleep._

 _Then and only then did she tear up. And then she wondered whether she couldn't sleep very well anymore because she didn't feel comfortable with her … she cringed as she made herself think the word – husband. She didn't feel the safe, comfortable feeling when he snuggled her close – she only felt tense and vulnerable – like she didn't trust that he wasn't going to hurt her again. She also would dream that she was sleeping with someone else – someone who she missed dearly. Someone that she wanted nothing more than to see again – and she would wake up – only to find him here instead. The feeling of his breath on her neck made her want to cry in remembrance of what had happened._

Luke hated himself the minute he laid her on the stretcher on the ambulance. They surrounded her, and he watched helplessly – unable to know what they were doing, unable to give any information.

"Sir, where are her injuries?"

"Do you know what caused this?"

"What blood type is she?"

"Is she allergic to any medications?"

"What hospital would you like her taken to?"

He just shook his head. He didn't know – he couldn't process anything.

"Ma'am, you're having trouble breathing because of the damage you've sustained." They connected her to oxygen. And at the same time they inserted a huge needle into her arm, causing her eyes to widen and starestraight at him – her hand stretching out in fear and pain towards him. He reached through the paramedics, and let her squeeze his hands as hard as she needed to.

They arrived at the hospital – he made sure he stayed with her in the fast ambulance ride to the hospital. Now he just stood there while the doctors surrounded the stretcher, now ignoring him and yelling out horrible things he never wanted to hear again.

"Major abdominal bleed. Left forearm laceration."

"Compressed skull fracture. Reserve CT."

"Checking reflexes. No obvious spinal deformities."

"No breath sounds on the right. Set up a chest tube tray."

Then he saw them pull out a scalpel, and watched them turn her over to her side, where the dark red bruise encompassed almost her entire left side. Pouring some orange liquid right to the side of her ribs, one of the gloved hands holding the scalpel cut into her side, causing her to arch up in horrible pain, tears running down her bruised and bleeding face. She just looked at him, unable to scream, unable to say anything, he just saw her raw and horrible pain. Luke couldn't watch them cut into her anymore. He just stared into her eyes, hoping that he could give any strength that he had to her – he just watched as the pain encompassed her eyes, and her blue eyes just bored into his soul. _Hold on, Lorelai. Just stay with me. Please._

Suddenly she relaxed a bit, and Luke looked to her side where they had inserted a tube into her chest – and blood was everywhere. Finding her eyes again, he saw panic – and her eyes moved to her stomach, and Luke's eyes followed. He saw a gaping cut across her abdomen. He looked back at her, and she immediately went down again. Then he watched her mouth move. _She's trying to tell you something._ He looked again, and saw the word. _Baby._ His heart dropped but he called out to the swarm of doctors all around her. "I think she might be pregnant." Her head moved only a bit, but it confirmed it.

"Ma'am, how far along are you?" The doctor asked, getting close to her face so she had to focus on him. She mouthed, _8 weeks._

 _Dear God,_ Luke thought.

"We need a foetal monitor right away." Someone called

Another person yelled, "No, we can check in the OR. Her right pupil's blown. We have a brain bleed. We have to get into the OR."

Suddenly, he was watching them take her away. Someone held him back, telling him that this was as far as he could go. He tried to push them away, but he knew there was nothing he could do. He could just follow her with his eyes – until the doors slammed behind the stretcher, leaving him covered in blood, tear-stained face – and completely shattered heart.


	16. Chapter 16

Rory ran into the hospital – her phone still in her hand, her keys still back in her car.

She ran up to the counter. "Please, my mom. She's in here." She couldn't stop from babbling. "Her name is Lorelai… Lorelai Gilmore. And that's my name too. Because she named me after her. She didn't understand why children were always named after their fathers, when it was the mother who did all the work…"

The receptionist interrupted her. "Hun, you're mother's in surgery. Come with me and I'll take you to the OR waiting room." The look of pity on the woman's face told Rory it was going to be bad.

She followed blindly, her mind a million miles away.

 _"Hello?" She had answered her cell phone right after the first ring. She had been so afraid of what was going to happen and what was going on with Luke that she had driven straight to the diner to wait for Luke. She was sitting on the step outside the diner, unsure about where to go after calling Luke about an hour ago._

 _"Hello, is this Rory Gillmore?" The voice sounded so professional._

 _"Yes, this is Rory." She said, her voice shaking, along with her hands._

 _"Could you come to Massachusetts General Hospital as soon as possible?"_

 _She started crying right there on the phone as she started running to her car. "Is it my mother?"_

 _"Yes. You were her emergency contact here, and it is important that you get here safely but also as soon as possible."_

 _"I will be there right away. Is she ok?"_

 _"We cannot release any information over the phone. Just come to the hospital."_

 _With that she hung up._

 _Rory started her car, but felt a knock on her window that caused her to jump._

 _"Rory. What's wrong?"_

 _It was Jackson._

 _Rory rolled down her window. "No. It's mom. She's in the hospital. I have to go right away." She went to put the car into drive, but his hand came in and touched her shoulder._

 _"Let me drive you, honey."_

And that was how she ended up walking through the hospital following the receptionist, to a small waiting room in the middle of the hospital.

"Luke." She called out when she saw him, sitting with his head in his hands. She ran over to him, her heart pounding with the horrible possibility that she was too late. He looked up, his eyes bloodshot and red from crying. "Luke, is she…?"

He shook his head, and made her heart slow just a bit. But he couldn't get any words out. "Luke, what happened? Is she going to be ok?" He just looked down at his hands, obviously still in shock.

She turned around to the receptionist, her need to know what was going on bringing out the side in her that didn't show much. The side that was her mother. "What happened? What is going on?" The receptionist shook her head, and opened her mouth to say something that looked a whole lot like something along the lines that she should just wait for the doctors to come out and tell her. But Rory's tirade started. "No, I need information. I got called in the middle of the night, told to rush to the hospital, but they couldn't give me any information over the phone. I get here, and still no one knows what the hell is going on. I have to know. I have the right to know. She's my mother. She's my best friend. Someone here had better tell me what I need to know because this" she gestured to herself in her tirade, "this isn't going to stop until I know what is happening. I've been in the dark for much too long. This ends here. I need to …"

She was interrupted by a woman in a white doctor's coat that walked up behind the receptionist. "Rory Gilmore?"

"Oh, god, thank you." Rory said, taking a breath.

"Your mother is out of surgery." _Surgery._

Rory opened her mouth, but the doctor continued. "She's out of surgery, but not in any way, shape, or form out of the woods yet." Her heart sunk. "The fracture to her skull was minimal – from what we can tell, there was no brain damage." _Skull fracture? He did this to her?_ "The lacerations to her forearm and abdominal area were superficial, and will take some time to heal but are not life threatening."

Rory felt Luke standing behind her. She looked back to see him holding on to every word that the doctor was saying. "But the blunt force trauma on her shoulders and chest caused major damage to major organs." _Blunt force…_ Rory couldn't breathe. "Her clavicle is broken. Her left lung collapsed, and we had to use a chest tube to make sure that she can still breathe on that side."

Then the doctor paused, her eyes flying to Luke's face. Rory watched the exchange, and felt like she was being left out of something. And she was done feeling like that. "What? What else?"

"We don't know what injuries that the baby sustained. That will take time. We are calling in a fetal surgeon for a consultation. She is on her way from Hartford."

With that, Rory could stand no longer. She sank down to the ground, falling to her knees, her hands on the ground. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't get any air into her lungs.

 _A baby? The baby? He hurt her so much while she was pregnant? Who did this? It couldn't have been him? He was her father…_

Rory just cried. Down on all fours in the hospital waiting room. She cried. Her entire body quaking with each breath she tried to take. Tears hit the tile floor beneath her. This couldn't be happening. _How can this be happening? Mom is the best person in the world. She has always been there for me. She is the strongest person in the world. She raised me all by herself. She gave everything to make sure I had everything I needed. This can't be happening._

Then the picture of her mother earlier that night came to her mind. _Her face was so thin – she looked so tired. No happiness in her eyes. No sparkle. She looked so afraid._

 _Him._

Her father's face came into her mind.

And she started beating the floor with her fist. _He did this. He hurt her so much. He took her away from me, only to do this to her. How long has this been going on? How much shit has she had to endure? And why? Why would he do this to her? She was his wife? She had married him – they were supposed to be perfect together – but nothing about this was perfect. Rory hated him. She would have killed him right there with her bare hands. She would have clawed his eyes out, his skin off his face – anything –_ With each thought of what he had done to her mother, she beat her fists against the floor, thankful for the pain. She was choking unable to find the air to take into her lungs – the floor wet with her tears.

 _Lorelai, she can't make it without you._ Luke thought as he watched his little girl utterly fall apart in front of him. _She tried for three months, but look what this did to her. You have to pull through because I can't lose the both of you._ He got down on his hands and knees, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her into a hug. She surrendered immediately, only wanting to have someone comfort her. He just sat there, stroking her head, unable to tell her that everything was going to be ok. Because as they had seen, he didn't know that it would be ok. Nothing about this was ok. But he knew she just needed someone to be with her.

Her angry sobs slowed, and her breathing came back to normal after about ten minutes. And she whispered, "I can't live without her."

He just nodded, tears on his own face, and whispered back to her, "Me either." He let her sit for a few more minutes, before he looked up at the doctor who was still standing there, and he thought he could detect a few tears in her own eyes, and he aksed, "Can we see her?"

The doctor started to compose herself, and nodded, "It's not a pretty sight, but I think she would be glad to see you. She might be a little out of it, but she was awake the last time I went in to check on her." She looked down at the little girl and said, "She was asking for you."

Rory stood right up, and Luke was right behind her as they followed the doctor back into what looked to be the state of the art ICU. They walked through glass doors, and Rory moved back, so she was walking right next to Luke, and she slipped her hand into his. He squeezed, trying to give her strength that he didn't think he had.

 _I don't know how what I found the last time I walked into that bedroom could be worse than this._ He thought, cringing to push the thought out of his mind.

Rory saw Lorelai first. Her hand squeezed his hand even tighter.

"Mom." She whispered, and didn't wait to process the scene at all. She just ran right to her mother. She didn't seem to think about the cuts and bruises all over Lorelai's face – she just ran to her bedside. Rory didn't see the machines that towered over the frail body in the bed – she just saw the mother that she had been kept away from for months without any explanation. She didn't see anything around her.

She just flew to the side of the part of her that had been missing for much too long. She ran and her knees slid onto the ground and she knelt by her mother's bed, carefully but quickly wrapping her hand into the bruised hand of her best friend.

The quiet, almost angelic voice that whispered back to her, "Rory." Her mother smiled, the smile that Rory had dreamed about almost every night since she had woken out of her coma. She smiled as tears rolled down her face. Her mother's hand released from their hold, and brushed them from her face. "Rory, you're crying."

Rory couldn't form any more words, the lump in her throat making it impossible to talk. But she waited a few seconds, and said, "I just can't believe it's you. It's really you."


	17. Chapter 17

**PLEASE DONT HATE ME FOR POSTING A SMALL CHAPTER - but this was a complete stand alone piece and I couldn't couple it with anything else. Please review - the reviews are what keep me going - and help me get this out on paper**

 _Two hours later_

Lorelai stirred, realizing she had fallen asleep. She winced with each breath, trying to come back into the world of pain quietly. Her head pounded, and she was so thirsty. Her eyes opened completely, and she looked around the room to find her heart was blessed just with the sight. Rory had fallen asleep right next to her bed, in fact her arms made a little pillow on Lorelai's bed. Trying not to grimace, she followed the room around to the other side of her bed, where she found a sleeping Luke Danes, his hat slightly crooked from the backwards position that he always wore it. His even breathing made her feel calm – she didn't know why, but it did.

It was hurting quite badly to breathe – which it had been for a long time since she got to the hospital, but she tried to shift her body to try and alleviate the pain. It didn't help, and her movement woke Luke, who was immediately right above her head.

"Lorelai, what hurts?" She tried to open her mouth to tell him it was chest. But she couldn't make out the words. He brushed the little bit of hair out of her face, then said, "Im going to go get the doctor." She just nodded, and just laid there, in pain, thankful she hadn't woke Rory up from where she was sleeping.

But when the nurse and doctor came into the room, Rory startled up, and moved out of the way for the doctor. Tears started to come to her eyes, it was so painful to breathe. The doctors started scanning the machines above her head, but Lorelai was having to concentrate so hard on breathing at the moment that she didn't notice the commotion beside her.

 _He started to tighten the cords around her throat – she knew this was the end._

Her hands grabbed the sheets to the bed, pulling her hands into fists. She tried to find Luke. She couldn't breathe.

 _He wrapped both hands around her throat, the maniac look in his eyes._

She felt the head of her bed being lowered down so she was lying flat, and she looked up to see a male doctor, a female doctor, and nurses. She just wanted Luke.

 _He tied the bedsheets around her throat. "This is going to make it a bit more interesting."_

She started to thrash around, unable to breathe, afraid of what was happening. She watched as a clear tube was held above her head. She heard someone talking – well she heard hundreds of sounds – but she just wanted one voice to come to her ears.

 _"Don't move while I do this to you, Lor. You'll strangle yourself. Hold still" And he laughed._

And suddenly her world went black, and she was banished to the darkness of her nightmares.


	18. Chapter 18

Luke just paced in the hallway outside the room. The fetal surgeon had arrived a few minutes ago, and they had wanted some privacy to examine Lorelai. Rory sat in the chair in the hallway, having argued with the doctors about wanting to stay in the room, not wanting to leave her mother's side. But the surgeon insisted, and Luke agreed, but for a different reason. The surgeon had said she needed it to be completely quiet to make decisions about the baby. But Luke didn't want Rory in there because he didn't want Rory to see just how horribly battered her mother's body was.

"Luke."

Rory's voice startled him out of his thoughts. "Luke what do we do now?" She asked, her heart completely bare for him to see. "I don't… I cant… what do we …"

He sat down next to her, looked deep into her blue eyes that reminded him so much of Lorelai's, and said, "We just … do. We can't change anything, we can't go back and change things, we just do what we can right now."

"We're ready for you." They heard from the room.

They both walked in, but the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Danes, but only family can be in here right now at this time. We have some things to discuss about her personal care and we don't have you on file as family."

Rory looked up at him, the deer in the headlights look on her face. She turned to the doctors, "He… I can't… she needs him too."

The doctor's shook her head, and he knew that legally he couldn't make decisions for Lorelai's health. _You're not her husband._ "It's ok Rory. I'll just be outside." She still looked fearful, and he said before he left, "You know her best."

Rory felt so alone watching him leave her alone in the room with three doctors. The one who was the specialist, Dr. Addison Montgomery, started talking.

"When your mother came in last night, we found that she was around 8 weeks pregnant." Rory nodded, her eyes going to her mother's face, which looked so little like her mother with the tube helping her breathe. "But there was a tear in the uterine lining…" Rory could tell bad news was about to come, "and she lost the baby."

Rory tried to feel sad. She tried to muster up enough emotion to be sad that the baby was gone. But she just couldn't.

"We just need to give her a medication that will help her body evacuate the tissue."

"Wait, you mean that the baby is still alive?" Rory asked, wanting to make sure that she was getting all the information.

All the doctors shook their heads, but then Dr. Montgomery continued, "No, the baby isn't alive. Her body is just too weak to physically miscarry the baby, to get the tissue out of her uterus. The medication we will give her will only aid her body in that process."

Rory just nodded. She just wanted her mother to be ok. And right now this was the course that she had to take. She hated this responsibility.

"Is there anything else?" Rory asked, anxious to be out of this room to go find Luke.

 _Lor, what's wrong?_

 _She jumped, almost dropping the white stick in her hand. "Im just using the bathroom, Chris. I'll be right there." She was an expert at keeping her voice steady, well, most of the time._

 _Why? Why did this have to happen? Now._

 _The strip was pink._

 _And felt her stomach, wishing with all her might that just one time in her life as a mother she would be able to find out she was pregnant without dread hitting her._

 _What is he going to say?_

 _I mean, he did want us to have a baby, before all…_

 _She wrapped the test in toilet paper, and buried it under other trash in the trashcan, hoping that he wouldn't go through the trash this week._

 _She started to try and count backwards to see how far along she was – but – there was no way of telling how long it had been – it could have been anytime in the last two weeks – multiple times everyday made it hard to pinpoint._

 _But even as she opened the door to the bedroom to find an angry husband waiting for her, she knew she was in love with the little life growing inside of her – and she would find a way to make this work – because this little baby was going to need so much love._

One Day later.

Lorelai felt something tugging her into consciousness. Something stood above her as her eyes opened. She heard and was able to understand before she was able to see completely. "Lorelai, we're going to take the tube out of your throat. I just need you to exhale on the count of three."

She braced herself for pain again. "One, two, three" and hse exhaled, and felt suddenly relief, being able to breathe on her own. Her throat did hurt a bit, but nothing like being stuck in the darkness had hurt. The doctor that stood abover her now came into focus. He had a big smile on his face. "Would you like some water?" She nodded.

They sat her up a bit, so she could see the room. A nurse brought a glass of water to her lips and Lorelai sipped, and violently coughed, causing her chest to ache. "That's normal. It's a good sign that you can cough. Tells us that your lung is healing quite nicely."

She just smiled, now trying to get her bearings. Looking around the room, she only saw the nurse with the water, the doctor who had removed the tube from her throat, and another red headed doctor. _The doctor from the emergency room that night._ Lorelai thought, and she smiled.

"I see you recongnize me." The sweet voice and familiar face made Lorelai feel a bit better. "Im sorry I had to see you again." Lorelia nodded, agreeing with her.

 _Rory._ She wasn't in the room. _I want Rory. She has to be ok. Is she safe?_ She opened her mouth to ask for her daughter, but then she found Luke's face in the corner of the room. Her heart started to calm down, and she said the first word that day, "Rory?"

He just smiled, and said, "She went to get coffee. She didn't think you would want water."

 _Of course._ She thought.

"There's something we needed to talk about." The doctor said, "its about the baby."

Any thought of happiness or calm was gone. She intently studied the doctor's face as she listened about how her baby, her little companion for the last two months, her little hope, hadn't survived with her.

Rory watched from the outside of the room – she didn't want her mother to have to be brave – so she had left to get coffee – or to stand and let her mother grieve. She watched as her mother's hands went to her flat stomach, grasping for something that was no longer there. Unable to curl up in a ball, like her mother did when she was sad, Lorelai's head just turned and she rested her head on her pillow and gut wrenching sobs could be heard through the glass doors.

Her mother's beaten face echoed the pain that Rory knew must be in her heart – and there was nothing Rory could do to make it better. This was something that her mother had to grieve for that Rory would never be able to comfort her. This was her mother being a mother – not her mother needing a friend.

She was thankful that Luke was there, he went over to her, and just held her hand. He didn't say a word. He just let her cry. And grieve.


	19. Chapter 19

**AUTHORS NOTE - WARNING - GRAPHIC - VERY GRAPHIC - CONTENT CONTAINED IN HERE - PLEASE DONT READ IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE VERY MATURE THEMES - I DO NOT WANT TO SCAR ANYONE -**

 **PLEASE READ AND REVIEW- AFTER WRITING THIS SCENE I NEED SOME ENCOURAGEMENT**

Lorelai looked up at the house that held so many wonderful memories. And she purposed in her mind to remember the good ones. She did what she had to do to survive the last few days – she pushed all the flooding memories of horrible things to the back of her mind, waiting desperately fpr her mind to forget those horrible memories.

Or at least keep those she loved from knowing what she had suffered.

And she plastered her smile on her face, grimacing only with the pain as she walked up those porch steps, and stood in front of the door. She tried to take deep breaths. She had wanted to come back here so many times. She had wanted to come and see her beautiful daughter. To sleep in her own bed. To bound down the stairs. To go and make her own coffee in her own kitchen. To look in on her sleeping child.

But she was scared too.

Chris had been here. He had slept with her in bed. He had made breakfast in her kitchen. He had thrown her against the wall in this house… she just wanted him to be gone from their lives. She wanted to remember her life before him. And she was afraid she wouldn't be able to.

Then she felt a small hand slide into her own. _Rory._ Lorelai looked over at her daughter, and knew they would have each other.

"Let's do this together." Her daughter whispered. Lorelai could only nod, take a deep breath, and open the door into the house.

"Ok, so I have burgers, fries, donuts, and broccoli." Luke called as he walked into the house carrying bags and bags of food that the girls had ordered.

Rory and Lorelai came running towards him, like a pack of wolves, grabbing bags out of his hands.

"What took you so long?" Rory asked as they carried the bags into the kitchen and set them on the table.

Lorelai was right next to her, fries from the bag already in her mouth as she agreed, "Seriously. I think you need a new delivery boy." Rory reached over the table to grab some fries, and Lorelai pulled her bag away out of reach, laughing and saying in her deepest man-voice, "What are you doing? These come at a price!" And Rory started to chase her around the kitchen and into the living room.

Luke was so confused, and walked after them, "What on earth was the broccoli for?" He smiled as he watched Lorelai holding the fries hostage on the staircase.

Both of the girls looked at him, and said, "For you." And Lorelai laughed and added, "We didn't want any extra competition for the good food."

Using her mother's distracted look at Luke, Rory seized the bag of fries from her mother's hands. "Haha, too slow." Rory looked at Luke, victoriously – Lorelai used this chance to grab the bag again.

"Haha," she copied her daughter, "too cocky."

He laughed as he watched the two of them interact again. They truly were the best of friends – two people who understood all the idiosyncrasies of the other so well that they could almost tell what the other was thinking. He never knew how they would have survived so long apart.

The evening was concluded by the girls realizing that there were three bags full of fries – he had prepared for a long night with them enjoying themselves. After about three hours of catching up on some favorite movies – never watching the full movie, just going through different videos and watching the best of their favorite scenes, then moving on to the next one – when it was about two in the morning, both of them were asleep on the couch, Rory stretched out, her head in her mother's lap, and Lorelai was sitting in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position.

Luke, concerned that she would wake up sore and afraid that her sleeping like that would aggravate her injuries, he tried to wake her up, but she was sound asleep. _She needs to sleep in her bed, where she can get a good night's rest._ He thought. Moving Rory down a bit, he scooped Lorelai up into his arms, smiling as she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck, despite still being asleep. Carefully and quietly, he carried her up the stairs, and laid her on her bed. Pulling back the covers, he made sure she would be warm enough through the night, turned off the light, and shut the door. But not before taking in the peaceful way that she snuggled into her pillow, sleeping so soundly and like an angel.

Going down the stairs, he turned off the television, gathered up the trash that was all on the floor, and made sure that Rory was covered up and warm for the night.

And he settled into the chair in the living room, not willing to leave just yet. He just wanted to stay and make sure they knew that he was there – that he was there if they needed. And as he drifted off to sleep, he wondered just how long it would be before the storm hit.

"Lor, have I ever told you just how much of an amazing woman you are?" Chris said breathlessly as he rolled off of her.

Lorelai just cringed, her entire body aching from the brutal pounding her husband had given her for the last hour. She pulled the blankets up around her naked body, wanting to feel something other than his body against her skin.

Chris sat up against the headboard, leaning over her. "You're not going to return the complement?" A suspicious smile crept onto his face.

She swallowed the bile that arose and said, "Chris, that was some of the best…"

She didn't finish before he leaned down and violently kissed her mouth. When he stopped, she watched his face to try and figure out what he wanted her to do. But he jumped right out of bed, and started putting his pants back on.

"In a hurry?" She asked, trying to act like they were husband and wife instead of what she felt like lately. She didn't want to just be his plaything – she wanted to try and make this marriage work, because she really had no other choice to protect her daughter. But if she could make it a happy relationship, then maybe he would really think of her as his wife.

He just nodded as he zipped up his dress pants, and started to pull on his dress shirt. "I want to take my wife out to dinner."

She smiled up at him, trying to erase the last few minutes. "I think your wife would like to go out to dinner with you too." She got out of bed and found her underclothes and dress hanging over the end of the bed. The short dress came to her mind-thigh, white with lace coming up the back. It had been a present from Chris a few days ago, and she had worn it to impress him when he got home from the office.

He was just adjusting his tie when she came out of the bathroom, all refreshed, with new makeup on and her hair pulled back into a low bun. She smiled as she walked over to him, and straightened his tie, and said, "What a handsome husband I have." If she tried, she thought it would help her really believe it.

He just kissed the top of her head, and smiled as they walked out to the car. "I have such a sexy wife." He said as he held the door for her.

She laughed, "You only hold the door when you want to check my ass out."

He feigned astonishment, "Why, dear woman, how could you insinuate such a thing?" They both laughed together

A few minutes later, Chris drove into the parking lot at the office. "I just have to grab some paperwork for the weekend." He said. She nodded, settling back in her chair to wait for him to come back. But he said, "Lor, come in with me? I want to show you my new mahogany desk."

Opening her eyes wide in mock excitement, she said, "Well, I do love a good strong desk." And she walked in with him, his arm around her waist as they laughed together. _Maybe he really just doesn't know how to be a husband in bed? Maybe that's just what he is insecure of? He is so caring and loving with me outside of this._ She reasoned in her head.

Walking into the office building, she was greeted by Olivia, the receptionist for the building. She was just leaving, her bags in her hands. Lorelai asked how she was doing, trying to make small talk – but Olivia seemed to be in a hurry to leave. And who could blame her at 5:15 on a Friday night?

Chris had gone ahead of her into his office while she had chatted with Olivia. Lorelai called out to him before she walked into the room, "Now, sir, your wife would like to know just how many women you allow in your office after hours." Her voice was playful and light. She walked into the office just as she said, "Because your wife might just get a little jealous."

Expecting only Chris, she walked in to find her ex boyfriend, Jason standing there along with her husband. Jarred just a little, because of how jealous her husband was and how bad of a parting she had with Jason, she felt very out of sorts. But her husband was acting like the complete gentleman, walking over to her and taking her arm. "Lorelai, I think you remember good old Digger here?"

"Now, Chris, I thought we had agreed to forgo our childhood nicknames after the age of 30?" Jason said to Chris, but he hadn't taken his eyes off of Lorelai. She felt like he was looking her over, like she was a piece of meat, and she knew that Chris wouldn't like this at all. He was always so jealous. And this one time, she was actually glad that he was that way.

Chris said, releasing her and walking over to his desk to pick up some papers, "I'm sorry, Jason, I shall refrain."

Lorelai finally met Jason's eyes, and she saw pure lust in his eyes. She wanted to puke as she felt him undressing her with his eyes – and he knew what was under her clothes – so she felt almost naked here in the office with her husband right there. She looked up to find Chris watching not Jason but her. _What is going on?_ She wondered.

But then Chris said, "Did you sign the papers for the Graham accounts?" And Jason turned around to face the desk.

"I sure did." Her heart started to calm down, thankful that they were about to leave if this paperwork was done.

Jason, still talking to Chris, said, "And I see you brought your signed copy?" His voice was starting to give her the chills.

Chris nodded, a broad smile on his face. And she was noticing something else. Other than the papers, there was nothing on the desk.

Chris folded the paperwork, set it in his desk drawer, and reached over and him and Jason shook hands.

Getting ready to go and more than willing to leave this awkward and foreboding situation, she turned to walk out the door of the office. But Chris had walked over to her and touched her arm, causing her to turn around and wonder what he wanted.

She turned, but instead of Chris having grabbed her arm, it was Jason who was holding her. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let go. She looked to Chris, sure he was going to come close to killing Jason. But Chris just smiled at her.

"Let go, Jason." She said, trying not to start and freak out.

Chris finally spoke, "Lor. Remember." He walked towards them, and then he walked out the door. And called behind him. "Remember about Rory." And the door slammed. Leaving just her and Jason there in the room.

She looked at the door. _What is going on?_ Her brain couldn't process what was happening. _I have been doing what Chris said. I want Rory to be safe. But what does that have to do with Jason."_

But she didn't have time to register it before he used his hand that gripped her arm to push her towards the desk. She whirled around to face him. She wasn't afraid of him. He had never done anything to make her be afraid. Well, except push her toward the desk after her husband had left threatening to hurt her daughter. "Jason, get your hands off of me." She said, facing him head on like the old Lorelai, the one who wouldn't let anyone push her around.

He just sneered at her, walking closer and closer to her. "Lorelai Gilmore, did your loving husband not tell you?"

She didn't move backwards, but she pushed him away, adrenaline rushing through her body. "Tell me what?" She yelled at him.

Jason reached into his suit coat pockets, pulling out a piece of paper and waving it. He smugly moved closer to her again, and said, "Honey, you're part of our business deal." _What? What is he talking about?_ "In exchange for joining your husbands company, I was paid a few hundred thousand dollars. And…" He ran his eyes down her body again and licked his lips before he said, "And you."

And suddenly now it made sense. She shook her head, but his arms reached out and grabbed both of her wrists. "Lorelai Gilmore, you're about to make history." She struggled against him but he just pulled her up against his body. "You're about to become the most expensive prostitute in the world."

And with that, he threw her onto the desk,

 _No. This cannot be happening. This is Chris' office. This is my husband's office._ She started to scream. "Help me. Someone help me." She rolled off the desk on the opposite side of her attacker, landing on her feet.

This only seemed to make him happy. "Chris said you were a calm one, but this is going to make this a whole lot more fun."

She wanted to puke, but her mind was on survival mode. She just had to get out of this office. She just had to keep him away from her. If she could get out, he would leave her alone – he couldn't rape her out in public. She thought she could make it to the door, and she raced there. _Why isn't he coming after me?_ She thought. Until she turned the doorknob only to find it locked. From the other side. _Chris. He couldn't mean this._ She started to shake as she only escape refused to move. _He is my husband. He wouldn't do this to me._ She tried to reason in her mind.

Facing the door, she could hear him coming over to her. She searched her mind to try and find any other way out. But his talking kept distracting her as his voice got closer and closer to him.

"Now, I did bring some rope to help with the fighting, but I had hoped to use that to maybe excite you with some good, old fashioned whipping."

 _Hurry, think think._

"But maybe going full out brutal rape would be a bit more fun. We haven't ever done that. It might spice up what we had in the bedroom before you and Chris."

 _He was closer and closer._

"But one thing is for sure."

And now he was here.

And she felt nylon rope wrap around her wrists. "No." she screamed, trying to pull them away. But it was too late, he cinched them together, the rope burning into her skin. "Jason no." she pulled her arms away, but he just pulled harder, leading her backwards to the desk.

"Shhh, honey. Shhhh… this is going to be the best ride of your life." He pulled her close to his face, she could feel his breath on her cheek, but she refused to look at him, her eyes closed. And he wrapped his lips around her mouth, and she tried to pull her head away, but his free hand pushed the back of her head into his face. _I can't believe I kissed him voluntarily once._ When he released her, she looked up into his eyes, and she spit in his face.

He pulled back, crying out in disgust and wiping his eyes. And she knew that was a mistake. Because he grabbed her around the waist, and threw her on top of the desk for a second time, and then he was on top of her. She screamed. She thrashed around, trying to get him off balance from where he straddled her. Her arms, still tied behind her, offered her no help in her resistance.

"You do know that Chris cleared the entire building so no one is going to hear your screams? This has been planned for weeks." She realized she had been screaming for him to stop. "This is going to happen. So you should just shut up and take it like the whore you're becoming."

He was straddling her right above her hips, and he unzipped his pants, and Lorelai looked away, unable to watch him violate her. "How does it feel to be raped here, in your husband's office? On your husband's desk?"

She realized tears were streaming out of her eyes. But she refused to answer him. She was more than hurt. She was angry – this man had loved her once – she had shared a bed voluntarily with this man. But she was powerless. She had nothing. Her hands were behind her back. The door was locked. Her husband left her here – no, he set this all up – he did this to her. She was helpless. Under the control of this disgusting man.

"First things first." His hands threw her dress up and pulled her panties down. Violently, he ripped her legs apart, and before she knew what had happened, he was inside of her, then out, then in – again and again he thrust into her, the pain raking through her entire body. He reached up and ripped her dress down the middle from the neckline, sinking his fingernails into her, using her breasts as an anchor for his thrusting into her.

"Please stop." She cried out in pain, "You're hurting me." She could think of nothing but the pain - nothing but the searing pain that burned throughout her entire body - no thought about what this was doing to her - no thought about how this was going to change her life - nothing - except this torment

He pulled out of her, and straddled her face, gagging her so she couldn't breathe and said, "That's the whole point, Lorelai."


	20. Chapter 20

**OK - LEAVE REVIEWS - MORE TO COME - IF THE REVIEWS COME**

"Luke. Luke. Help me. Help me."

Rory flew off of the couch, the terrified screams from the bedroom upstairs shocking her out of her sleep.

Luke, who had been sleeping in the chair beside the couch, was already halfway up the stairs, and rory followed, afraid of what she might find.

"Luke. He has her. He has.."

Luke ran into the bedroom, and Rory followed him, but found her mother already clinging to him. And Rory would have ran to her mother, but she heard her name, and that stopped her in her tracks.

"Luke, he has Rory. Chris."

Luke just rocked Lorelai in his arms, "Shhh… It was just a dream. Rory's here."

The room was still dark, but Rory could see that her mother's eyes were still closed, like she was still asleep, almost in a live nightmare. She was shaking, and shaking her head, "No, he said he would hurt her." Her voice was a terrified whisper, like she was afraid someone was about to hurt her. Rory just stood there in the dark, afraid of what was happening to her mother, but afraid of what might be said. "If I left him, he said he would kill her." Luke just rocked her, and she just held on tight to him.

Rory shivered, and reality began to set in. _This was for me. She went through this because of me. She was afraid he would hurt me. All of those cuts on her, all of the bruises, the baby – all because she was afraid I would get hurt._ Luke's eyes met Rory's, and she knew that he was thinking the same thing.

Luke just whispered, "It was just a dream. Shhh…"

Her mother's eyes opened, and she began to take in her surroundings. But instead of the nightmare ending, Rory watched as reality began to be worse than what she had been dreaming.

Lorelai's breathing began to speed up, and she pushed away from Luke, a fear so real that it sent shivers up Rory's spine. And her mother started to scream as she drew away from Luke, falling away from him onto her bed. "Get away from me." She now stood on the other side of the room, Luke having jumped off of the bed, from both fear and trying to give her space.

"Please, I can't do it anymore. I just can't." She cried, her body physically shaking as she had backed up into the corner.

Luke didn't know what to do, Rory could see. He just stammered, "It's ok. No one's trying to hurt you, Lor."

And with that, Rory watched as the woman standing in front of her stopped being her mother. Something Luke said changed her.

All she could say was, "Chris stop. Please don't. No no no…" Her mother's hands started clawing at her neck. "I can't do it anymore. You left me tied to that bed for two days. Don't make me sleep there. Chris, please." Her hands moved from clawing herself in fear to her arms, where she started to scratch against the bandage on her arm.

And just as fast as she had gone into this spell, her mother came out, still breathing hard but being more aware of the fact that she was in her own bedroom, and that it was Luke standing in front of her, and not Chris.

Luke went to move towards her, but she still jumped, and said, "Luke, please don't." Her mother's eyes fell to the ground, like she was ashamed and humiliated. Luke looked so hurt, but he just backed up, holding his hands up so she knew he was surrendering to whatever had just happened.

And Rory knew that this was when her mother needed her. She stepped to her, and her mother's eyes met hers, and immediately Lorelai ran to her, and Rory wrapped her mother in a hug. She could feel her mother's body shaking as they held each other. She was covered in sweat, like she had been running a marathon. Her breathing was rapid, and Rory could feel her mother's heart racing.

And her mother whispered in her ear, "You're ok. You're ok. Rory's fine." The words came out like she was reciting them to herself to tell herself that everything was alright, that Rory was safe, not trying to comfort her daughter.

Rory tried to clear her throat from the lump that had crept there, and there were tears in her eyes as she tried to be strong for the woman who had always been there for her. "Mom, it's ok. You're safe."

Luke met her eyes for the second time that night, his eyes also filled with tears. And she knew they were thinking the same thing. _I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe she survived this._

They stood there for quite a while, Rory just wanting to hold her mother to ensure her that whatever nightmare world kept creeping into their lives stayed away. Luke just stood there, afraid to come closer but Rory could tell he wouldn't leave them alone.

Her mother, having calmed down, pulled away from the embrace, and wiped the tears from her face, and said, "Rory, Im so sorry you had to see that."

"Mom, that's…"

Lorelai started to take her role back as mother and interrupted, "I don't know what happened. I just was having a bad dream. It's ok. I'll be fine." Rory felt her mother's hand on her cheek. "You should go back to bed."

"Im not going to bed, Mom." Rory said, wanting to laugh at the idea that her mother wanted to send her to bed after what had just happened. "Let's try to get you back to sleep."

Her mother shook her head, fear rising from her eyes. "No, I'm not that tired…"

"What about if I stay with you until you fall asleep?" Rory asked, hoping that having someone close would help. But her mother just looked over at the bed, then back at Rory, and shook her head again.

"I… I.. can't get back in the bed…" She admitted, her hands starting to shake again.

Rory just slid her fingers into her mother's hands, holding them tightly. And she said, "I have an idea."

Grabbing blankets off of the bed, a pillow for each of them, she laid one blanket down on the ground of the bedroom, and then she motioned for her mother to sit down, and then gave her a pillow – and made her lay down, like she was tucking her mother into her little sleeping bag. She wrapped her mother tightly in a blanket, and snuggled right next to her. And there they lay, Rory just watching her mother stare off into space until sleep again overtook her. Rory watched as Luke nestled up against the wall opposite where they were laying, acting as a watchdog over the two of them. Rory waited for the morning to come, unable to let her mother wake again in the middle of the night without Rory being right there and awake.

And as the sun started to peek through the blinds in the windows, Rory started to sleep, glad that she had watched over her mother until the daylight came again. As her eyes succumbed to sleep, she whispered to her mother, "I love you, Mom."


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: THIS ONE IS ANOTHER VERY GRAPHIC AND EMOTIONAL SCENE - I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT EVERYONE KNEW THAT BEFORE GOING ON.**

 **I ALSO WANTED TO CLEAR UP THE FACT THAT CHRIS IS DEAD - ALL THE REFERENCES TO HIM AFTER THIS AS HAVING ACTIONS OR HURTING PEOPLE - THAT IS IN LORELAI'S MEMORY AND FLASHBACKS. I AM WORKING TOWARDS LORELAI'S HEALING - BUT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE HURT FIRST. AND THIS IS HOW SHE IS WORKING THROUGH HER ISSUES. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT.**

 **I ALSO WANTED TO TELL ANYONE TO MESSAGE ME AND GIVE ME ANY IDEAS - AND PLEASE REVIEW - THIS ONE WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST IVE HAD TO WRITE. THANK YOU SO MUCH**

Lorelai felt the warm sun on her face as she woke up the next morning. Still laying in the same position she fell asleep in, she felt her back was stiff against the floor. But as she slowly opened her eyes, she smiled at the sight of her beautiful daughter peacefully sleeping next to her. Lorelai just lay there, watching Rory sleep, just drinking in the fact that her daughter was right there with her. So many times during the last few months she had tried to imagine her daughter snuggled up close to her again. But when she would imagine Rory, she would feel so selfish because she knew that being with Rory would mean that Chris would hurt her. But here she was, watching her slowly breathe as she slept.

Sore and hungry, Lorelai slowly and quietly left the room, painfully walking down the stairs. Wincing with each step, she held her side wishing she could just make her broken rib heal completely right there. She walked into the kitchen, following her nose to the brewed coffee in the coffee pot. She smiled as she picked up a note that had been taped to her favorite mug.

 _Went to get breakfast. Be back soon. Don't drink all the coffee. –Luke._

Pouring herself a big cup of coffee, she held the mug up to her nose, feeling the warmth in her hands and the steam tickled her nose as she inhaled the beauteous substance. Sipping, and then wincing at how hot it was, she sat down at the table to enjoy just some one on one time with the coffee.

Interrupting her mid-sip, she heard a knock at the front door. "I haven't had my coffee yet, people!" She was sure it was just Luke who had too much in his hands to open the door. She waltzed over, unlocked and opened the door and said, "We welcome you and the food into our home."

But she looked up to find not Luke, but her mother.

"Lorelai…"

She just hissed through clenched teeth, "Go to hell." And she tried to slam the door. But her mother had already put her foot in the door.

"Lorelai, listen to me."

"Get the hell out of my house." Lorelai said. "I don't want you here. Get out."

Her mother just stepped back when she heard Lorelai's tone. And her mother's tone changed too. "Please. Just hear me out."

 _My mother? Said please?_ Remembering Rory sleeping upstairs, she decided to take this out on the porch.

Shutting the door behind her, Lorelai turned to her mother and said, "How do you have the guts to show up here after the shit you caused?"

Emily's face went from apologetic to just a bit angry. "Young lady, watch your language with me. I did nothing to deserve that." And just like she was taking off on her own tangents, Emily took over the conversation. "I need you to come and talk to your father. He is besides himself. I can't believe what he is telling me. I cannot get him out of his office. He refuses to talk to anyone. I remember the last time he was like this, you were able to talk him out. I wouldn't have bothered you, because I know you're grieving, but I don't know what else to do."

Lorelai felt like she had just gotten hit with a bowling ball in her stomach. And now she started talking. And not just talking. But she started screaming at her mother. And this was no little screaming. This was filled with passion and anger. Pent up for months. "How dare you come here asking for my help?" Emily stepped back at the torrent of her anger, fear on her face. "Do you have any idea what the hell happened? Of course not. Because you didn't come over here to see how I was doing. You just came over her to ask for my help to make your life better, because your husband is having a hard time dealing with himself. Well, fuck you, Emily." Emily took another step back, but Lorelai wasn't watching her mother. tHis wasn't just a fight like they had in the past – this was her telling her mother how horrible they had made her life. "If you wouldn't have been so keen on making sure people thought Christopher and I were the perfect couple, you might have noticed that I needed your help. That night in the hospital, you let him out of jail."

"We didn't know that it was bad at home. You didn't tell us…"

"You didn't give me a fucking chance to, Emily! You just did what you thought would be the right thing based on what other people might think of you."

Lorelai paused, now seeing Luke coming up the walkway. But she didn't stop. "And as for Richard," she couldn't even call him her father, "He can burn in hell. And tell him that his daughter, the one who disgraced the family so much with her actions at the party, tell him that she never wants to see him again."

Luke was now on the porch, and he started to herd Emily off of the porch and to her car. "Mrs. Gilmore, I think it's time for you to leave."

Her mother turned to talk to her, but Luke kept pushing her to the car.

Lorelai kept screaming at her. "If you or your husband ever have the audacity to show up here at my house again, Emily Gilmore, I will call the police and have you arrested."

Once Luke got Emily to her car, he opened the drivers side of the car, and said, "Don't come back."

Emily yelled over him, "Lorelai Gilmore, this isn't over. You can't just scream and throw a fit to get your way."

Luke slammed the door to her car, and stood there, blocking her view to the house until she started to back out.

And Lorelai just kept screaming curses at the moving car. "Fuck you, Emily." Ahd she threw the finger into the air as the car turned the corner.

She just stood there, feeling so much anger, but feeling so hurt. Luke walked up to the porch. And she just looked at him, angry tears coming to her eyes, "How can they think that they can just come back into my life?"

He just pulled her into a hug, and she leaned against him. Then she started to calm donw and said, "Thanks for making her leave."

He just nodded. And said, "Remind me to never cross you before you've had coffee."

A small smile made it to her face before she stopped and said, "So pretty much the entire neighborhood heard me scream cuss words at my mother?"

He just nodded again. And added, "And it's Saturday so almost everyone is home to hear it."

She just grinned, and pulled away to look up at him, and said, "Well, that's one way to start out my return with a bang."

"Come on, lets get some coffee in you."

 _It was dark. She just lay there, curled up in a ball on the desk. She couldn't move. She could barely breathe. She felt liquid between her legs, and she knew it was a mixture of blood and…_

 _She leaned over the side of the desk and puked up all the contents of her stomach – which were just more liquids. She was cold. Completely naked, her torn and dirty clothes thrown all around her husband's office. She sat up, shivering, not sure if it was just from the lack of clothing or from being so violated – she didn't know._

 _It was dark in the room. She couldn't remember how long she had been there. Jason had come up with just about every way to abuse her body, glorying in his manliness and her helplessness. When he had finished, he had roughly untied her arms, leaving her to try and recover there on the desk. She had heard the door unlock with a key from the inside, and then relock after he left. She couldn't see a clock because Jason had left her in the dark, just waiting for someone else to come and help her – or hurt her._

 _She heard the lock turning in the door, and she whimpered in fear of the unknown. What if he was coming back? What if it's someone else coming to use her again like Jason? The startling part was that she never wondered whether it was someone coming to rescue her. She didn't think anyone would care anyway._

 _The light didn't turn on. But she heard someone breathing. And someone walking over to her. She drew back, afraid. But then she heard his voice. And she didn't know whether to be relieved or more sickened._

 _Chris._

 _"Lor, come on, let's go."_

 _Her whole body started to shake, and she just said, "I can't move." She sounded like a little mouse, so cowering and afraid. "I'm bleeding."_

 _"Here, cover up with this." She still couldn't see anything, but sudeenly she felt something soft in her arms. A blanket. Slowly she opened it, and pulled it around her shoulders, wanting only to be warm again._

 _Suddenly the light flipped on, and she was blinded by the suddenness of it. She jumped out of fear when it came on. She saw her husband standing there – in his suit and tie that he ahd worn to make her think they were going to dinner – a dinner she had been looking forward to – a dinner just her and her husband. She watched him go and pick up her ruined clothes up from off the ground._

 _When he stood up, he looked at her and said, "Get up. I want to go home and go to bed."_

 _Tears that she didn't think she had started to roll down her face as she tried to stand up, and the minute her feet touched the ground, her legs gave up on her, and she almost fell to the ground if she hadn't have grabbed the desk with her hand. Her legs were so weak, and they hurt from being handled so roughly – everything hurt like that._

 _Chris didn't even look back behind him. He just started walking out the door, and she was left there, slowly trying not to fall as she walked out of the torture chamber. Into the dark corridor, and outside to the cold night, where she started to shiver as he held the door for her to get into the car that was waiting for them._

 _She got into the backseat, thankful that he was driving. And she just curled up on the backseat, unable to even sit upright._

 _"Lor, get used to this."_

 _That was what he said. After he had allowed his friend – her ex boyfriend - to brutally rape every part of her body – just like it was a business deal. She was covered in Jason's semen and sweat, and her own blood. Her breasts were cut and bleeding from the torture he had done to them; she could feel blood pooling even there in the car between her legs – her mouth was bleeding from being violently kissed and used by that man. And she was supposed to get used to this?_

 _"Chris, why?" She asked. That was all she could think of. She had been the model wife since leaving Star's Hollow, doing whatever he wanted or needed to make him feel like a man – she had made it clear that she was committed to making the relationship work. But then this happened – and she couldn't reconcile the two ideas._

 _She heard him take a deep breath and anger enter his voice. And she wasn't scared. Maybe because she was in the backseat and he was in the driver's seat so he couldn't reach her right away. But she thought it was more likely that she didn't think he could do anything worse or more painful than what Jason had already done to her that night._

 _"I told you I would make you forget about Luke."_

 _She just cried. And cried. She couldn't respond to that – because there was nothing that she could say that would make him believe that she didn't think about Luke. She didn't think about that when she was being raped and tortured. She could just sit there, curled up in the backseat, and cry._

 _They arrived at home, and he left her to hobble inside all on her own. She found her way to the bed, where she collapsed out of sheer exhaustion, unable to even get under the covers. A few minutes later she felt him crawl into bed next to her. And he leaned over and pulled her to him. She stiffened, so angry that she didn't even want him to kiss her goodnight. But he leaned down and kissed her lips, the bite marks from Jason stinging with the touch of Chris' lips. And then he rolled her to her back, and got on top of her._

 _She just cried out as even just his body weight touched all of her injuries. "Please Chris."_

 _But he didn't stop._

 _And she just laid there, the pain echoing through her mind, and she tried to shut off her feelings as her husband used her. He just kept whispering in her ear, "You're mine. I can do whatever I want."_

 _Then he said the words that she thought was the worst she had heard. "I have secured quite a few referrals from Jason after tonight." He laughed, then said, "You're going to make me a very wealthy man."_

Rory just watched as her mother just sat on the couch. She had been sitting there for a few hours. It had been a few hours since Luke had left to go to the diner. The morning had been quite fun, they had breakfast together. Rory had gone to take a shower, Luke had left. And then Rory had come out to find her mother just sitting on the couch, curled up and staring out into space.

The doctor had said that there would be times that her mother just needed to be alone. He said that there were so many things that she was going to have to process – and that giving her the time to do it without feeling pressured was going to be key to her recovery.

So Rory had just sat there and watched over her mother. Once in a while, tears would come to her eyes, and Rory would want to go over and take her pain away – but she knew that was impossible. After what happened last night, Rory realized that there would be no way she could understand what had happened to her mother.

And the scary part was that her mother would never be the same person as the mother she remembered. Sure, they could work through things, make her feel safe and protected and in control of her life, but things that happened would never be able to be erased from her mind.

So that was why Rory just sat on the stairs, looking over her mother and making sure that if Lorelai needed her, she was right there with her.

Rory looked up as Luke walked in the door, but her mother didn't even move. Luke's eyes went from her mother's stoic form to her – and Rory just said, "She's been like this for a few hours." And Luke walked over to the stairs and sat down beside her.

"I just want to take her pain away." Rory whispered, her throat overtaken in a lump that had been there for the past few hours.

Luke just nodded. "After this morning, watching her with Emily, I saw how much she was hurting."

"I heard that all the way upstairs." Rory nodded. Then added, "I was kinda cheering her on from upstairs."

Luke turned to her, and said, "Are you doing ok, Rory?"

Rory just said, "No. There's nothing ok about anything that's happening."


	22. Chapter 22

"Luke, I don't know if I should." Rory said into the phone.

Luke was at the diner for the evening, needing to give Caesar a break after having worked extra hours to cover for Luke.

Rory fiddled with her purse, while watching her mother out of the corner of her eye. "I think I'll skip it." She was sitting on her favorite spot on the couch, just staring off into space.

"Rory, it's a required meeting for school." Luke said, "You have to go."

"But, Mom…"

"Sookie is on her way over there. Im right here if they need anything." Luke said, trying to calm Rory down. "You know she would want you to go to school."

Rory had a required meeting for the paper tonight that she had forgotten about with everything that had happened. She hadn't wanted to leave her mother here, so she had asked Sookie to come over and sit with her. But now she was regretting it, feeling like she was shirking her responsibility to her mother.

"Luke, she hasn't moved since you left." Rory whispered, still not used to the fact that her mother seemed unable to hear anything going around her.

"I called the doctor today, and he said that this is completely normal." Then he said, "Just go."

She nodded, and hung up the phone, only realizing after the line went dead that Luke couldn't see her shake her head. She walked over to the couch, careful not to touch her mother to scare her. "Mom, I'm going to school for a meeting, but I'll be back later tonight. Sookie is on her way over to be with you." Her mother just nodded, no eye contact made or anything. "She's excited to see you, Mom."

Hating herself for leaving, Rory made sure the door was locked when she left, knowing Sookie had another key.

 _She hadn't moved since Chris had finished with her last night. He had gotten up that morning, dressed, and left without saying a word to her. And she just laid there, unable to move without pain shooting everywhere in her body. She couldn't sleep – every time she tried to close her eyes she felt Jason's hands all over her body. She could feel him inside of her, slapping her, choking her – so she just laid there, her eyes unable to close, watching the sun flood through the room._

 _After watching the time tick away on the clock at the bedside, she started to feel gross. She wanted to stop feeling his hands on her – she wanted to wash everything off. She slowly got to her feet, still completely naked. In the light, she could see the dried blood on her legs, the bruised all along her shoulders, and the rope burns from being bound._

 _Finally making it to the shower, she didn't know how long she was under the steaming water, but she coulnd't stop scrubbing, couldn't stop trying to get the feeling of her skin crawling at the thought of what happened to her. The soap stung as it hit the whip marks on her back, but she was thankful for the actual pain that wasn't just her emotional pain._

 _The bathroom door opened. "Hurry up. We're going to be late."_

 _Chris. Why was he home? It was still the afternoon._

 _"Late for what?" she asked._

 _He walked over to the shower, and she jumped with fright as he pulled open the curtain. "What does it matter? Hurry up. Get dressed. I laid out your clothes on the bed."_

 _Her heart started to pound, and she just looked at him. "Chris, what's going on? I deserve to know." She didn't know where she got the courage to ask again, and she was amazed that her voice wasn't shaking more than it already was._

 _Much to her surprise, he didn't answer her, and walked over to the sink and pulled out his old razor and started to shave his face, just like nothing had happened._

 _And she couldn't leave it alone. Grabbing a towel off of the back of the bathroom door, she covered herself up in it, feeling exposed even in front of her husband. "Is it a work party? A luncheon? Normally we don't go out in the afternoon. Is it a special occasion?"_

 _"Damn it, Lorelai, get dressed now!" He yelled at her, not turning around, just glaring at her through the mirror. "Do what you're told."_

 _She left him in the bathroom, more than a bit disturbed at the outburst. But she walked out to find a new dress on the bed. She wanted to puke. Sure, she was not a prude when it came to clothes, shirt skirts and low necklines never bothered her. But this?_

 _"Chris?" She meekly called out, "Are you sure this is the dress?"_

 _She heard his hand hit the sink vanity, and glass shattered from something. "Put the damn dress on."_

 _Her hands shook as she fastened her bra around her body, carefully trying not to pull open any of the scabs on her breasts, and cringing as the snaps in the back tore at the burns from the rope. She went to get some panties out of her dresser, but found that they were all gone._

 _Chris walked out of the bathroom, and saw her looking in her drawer. "You're not wearing any."_

 _Her eyes got wide as she looked at him. "What? I …"_

 _He stepped toward her, and she flinched, causing him to smile. And then he said, "I'm going downstairs. If you're not dressed and looking sexy in 20 minutes, you'll regret it, Lor." Then he added, "Make sure I can't see the marks on your face from last night."_

 _And with that he left her in her room alone. And she pushed the tears out of her eyes as she pulled the dress over her head and walked back into the bathroom to do her hair and makeup._

 _She dried her hair, curled it like he liked, and applied makeup, making sure to get the dark circles under her eyes and the small but painful bite marks around her mouth. She looked herself over and shuttered at what her husband wanted her to look like._

 _The dress was black, stripes plastered to her body. But the stripes were separated by sheer nylon, which exposed her skin all the way around her body. The skirt only came about one hand length past her hips, and the back swooped down right to her bra line. But the most engaging part of the dress was the neckline, one that made her wonder what on earth she was going to do to keep her breasts from falling out of the dress. He had laid heels out, and she winced as she slid her feet into the horribly painful and tall heels. Looking at herself in the mirror, she thought that if Chris wanted her to look like she had been standing on a street corner, he had succeeded._

 _Then she remembered Jason's hands all over her. She cringed and turned to dry heave into the toilet behind her. She washed her mouth, reapplied her lipstick, and started to turn off the light in the bathroom when she looked down to find Chris' razor. She had always wondered why he insisted on shaving with the old razors, the actual sharp knife glistening in her hand. He had said that it made him feel more like a man, more rugged and cleaner shaved._

 _She imagined what would have changed last night if she had something to fight back with. and with that she turned the light off in the bathroom, picked up her purse and walked out the door, not before sliding the razor into the front pocket of her purse._

Sookie couldn't believe the phone was just ringing and ringing. She danced around nervously, waiting for him to pick up. _Pick you, Luke. Pick up._

"Luke's diner." It was Lane.

Sookie started her fast talking, "Lane, is Luke there? I need to talk to him. Right away. Now. I need to.."

Lane must have heard the urgency in her voice, because suddenly Luke's voice flooded the receiever. "Sookie, what is it?

Sookie was sitting in the kitchen, just watching Rory's room. "Luke, I don't know what happened. She was just sitting there on the couch. I was just talking to her, I didn't think she heard me, but I thought I would just review my menu ideas for the wedding this weekend. I was just talking and she was just sitting there and then I said something about how I might make my risotto, and I didn't think that would offend her because I mean my risotto has magical powers, as you know, and so I thought maybe talking about it would help her and then just as I …"

Luke interrupted, "Sookie."

"Oh, sorry." She said, trying to get back on track. "Well suddenly she stood up and walked into the kitchen, she didn't run or freak out she just walked calmly into the kitchen. I followed her, thinking maybe she wanted some risotto…" Remembering how she got distracted, she said, "But she just opened the cabinet by the backdoor, pulled out a bottle of bourbon, tucked it under her arm, then she walked over to the knife block."

"What?" His voice was sounding panicked. Which panicked Sookie.

So she started talking faster. "She picked up the biggest, meat cleaver, and then calmly walked into Rory's room, and shut the door, and locked it."

"I'm on my way. Just keep talking to her, Sookie. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."


	23. Chapter 23

**_A'N - JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS A VERY GRAPHIC CHAPTER - PLEASE SKIP IF YOU CANT HANDLE GRAPHIC - JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW - PLEASE REVIEW- I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR HOW THIS MADE YOU FEEL - BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL HORRIBLE_**

 _They traveled for quite a bit of time, and now Lorelai knew why Chris had wanted to leave so early. They were in the limo, so Chris was sitting back with her. But he wouldn't even look at her, like she was a disgusting, repulsive creature. And Lorelai felt that she was too – she felt like she was just some used piece of trash. She just stared at her hands, trying to imagine away the rope burns on her wrists. She heard Chris talking on the phone._

 _"Yes, everything is set. We should be there around eight, Jason." Her stomach turned. "Well he's going to have to think about what he wants before he signs the contract. There's no room for someone half-in, half-out."_

 _Lorelai just tried to keep from crying, just hoping that what he was talking about was strictly business – business that didn't involve her body – but with the mention of Jason's name, she didn't have much hope._

 _"No, it doesn't have to be the same place everytime. Really?" Chris said, listened, and then said, "Well, I guess he does have more assets than some of the other people. But the whole night is too much. I would say as long as he brings her back before midnight that should be fine…"_

 _She couldn't stop the tears from falling, her imagination going wild at the thought of the "she" being Lorelai and the "whole night" meaning that she would be hurt yet again._

 _She sniffled, and she felt Chris' hand on her shoulder. She wiped her eyes, turned to him, and found a stone cold man. She could no longer think of him as her husband. This monster was nothing more than her captor – someone who she belonged to._

 _Chris shot her an angry look, signaling that she had to stop crying. But she couldn't at the thought of what was going to happen to her tonight. He mouthed the word "stop" to her, but she just turned away because she couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her face. His grip on her arm got tighter, and she tried to pull away. But htat just made him angrier. She could tell because he let go of her arm but said in the phone._

 _"Jason, tell them two would be fine. That should make things interesting."_

Lorelai just sat in the dark room. She put the bottle to her lips. Tipped it back and swallowed as much as she could. She wanted her mind to turn off – she wanted to stop remembering these horrors – but it was like she was watching a movie – she couldn't stop it no matter how much she tried. Setting the bottle down next to her, she waited for her memories to stop flowing when the alcohol would start to take effect. She carefully ran her fingers up and down the knife blade, feeling like she was in control of something around her – they wouldn't hurt her now.

 _The car stopped. Chris made her wipe her face. Didn't want her to look like a whore just yet._

 _They stepped out, and she grabbed his arm, both recoiling at the fact she had to touch him but glad she had something to hold her up. They walked into the huge mansion that Lorelai didn't recognize. But there were other couples there, couples who looked to have a normal relationship together. She recognized very few of the couples, and she wondered where exactly they were._

 _But she didn't have much time to think about her location. After they walked in the door and the maid took their coats, she found herself being led over to the bar. And Chris looked at her, and took a big drink of a scotch. She asked the bartender for a martini – but Chris just told the man no, and led her away._

 _"Lor, you're going to have to get through tonight sober. That's the fun."_

 _She just reached for her purse that was hanging over her shoulder, thankful that she had some kind of defense – although she had no idea how and when she was going to use it._

 _Chris led her over to a group of men, and she watched as not only the group of men, but most of the men in the room scanned her body up and down. She just held onto her purse. Tightly._

 _She saw Jason._

 _He came over to Chris._

 _He extended his hand to her husband, and they shook hands, "Great to see you again."_

 _Then Jason came over to her. She just had a look of indifference n her face, the face that she could make right then, but if she could have spit in his face again, she would have. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, just like as if he was saying hello to any other woman. "How are you, darling?"_

 _She couldn't stand it anymore. She pulled her hand out of her husband's arm, and turned around and walked over to the bar, just wanting to get away from Jason. Her hands were shaking, her breathing increased, knowing she would pay for it later – but she couldn't just stand there and act like nothing had happened – just acting like she hadn't been bound and raped by that man last night. She leaned against the bar, and looked at the bartender._

 _"Martini – with an olive." She said, and the entire idea that she was going against what Chris wanted both scaring her so much she thought she was going to be sick, but also making her feel empowered._

 _She thought that Chris would have been over by her side almost immediately after she left him. But when her drink was set infront of her before he was over there to take it away from her, she just reviled in the fact that she was going to get a drink to help dull the pain that she knew was going to come._

 _She felt someone come up behind her as she finished her drink. A hand ran down her back, and a voice whispered to her ear, "Come with me."_

 _She didn't even turn around. She just shook her head. They were going to have to make a scene to get her away from all of these people – as long as she stayed out of closed doors, she would be safe._

 _But then the man behind her set something on the bar in front of her._

 _She gasped._

 _"I think this is a picture of your daughter."_

 _Rory._

 _"Your husband said that she's named after you? That's an interesting fact." His voice was laced with venom, and just the thought that he was talking about her little girl like this made her want to turn around and slap the shit out of him._

 _He continued. "Your husband also said that you should remember your agreement."_

 _Lorelai turned away from the voice, to look over her shoulder towards Chris. He was glaring at her. And nodding his head. And she could just imagine what he was saying to her in his mind._

 _And then she was pulled back to the man who was standing behind her as he pushed his leg between hers, and said, "Chris said to tell you that he is so proud of your daughter, that she hasn't become what her mother has."_

 _She then stopped holding her head up, all forms of resistance set aside at the mention of Chris making Rory like her mother. She would do whatever when threatened with the wellbeing of her daughter._

 _He smiled at her, and then proceeded to direct her up the stairs of the mansion, taking ever advantage to feel her up on the way up the stairs. She still couldn't see his face. Didn't want to._

 _He led her into a small room, and when the light turned on, she saw that it was a bathroom – a small, cramped bathroom. He then spun her around, and she finally found his face. He was older, older than Christopher. His facial hair was neatly trimmed, salt and pepper colors matching his hair on his head._

Lorelai could feel the bourbon start to take over her mental faculties – but only the present reality one. As she got more and more drunk, the present reality fading from view to give rise to the horrible memories becoming bigger and more real.

 _He was still holding the picture of Rory in his hand. He sneered at her. And then pushed her down to her knees – her knees against the hard, tile floor._

 _"No." That was all she could say. "No." she cried, knowing that it wouldn't have bearing on what was going to happen. But she just involuntarily resisted what was going to be done to her body. He was still wearing his tux, but he undid his belt, and unbuttoned his pants._

 _She was just shaking her head, her face in her hands as she sat on her knees on the bathroom floor. She had no idea what she had done to deserve this – she had tried to be a good and loving wife – she left her only daughter to be with her husband – how could he do this to her? How could he be this much of a monster to make her just a toy for his business partners?_

 _"Open up, darling."_

 _His voice made her want to puke, and she snapped out of her questioning why. She just had to get out of this alive. There were people downstairs who would help her – there were some wives down there who didn't know this was happening. She just had to get someone to hear her._

 _She pulled away from his adnvances, and started to scream. "Help me. Someone. Help."_

 _The fear in his eyes made him look at the door, and then walk over and smashed her head into the counter behind her. "Shut the hell up."_

 _She didn't stop screaming. "Im being hurt. Help me." A hand came and smashed across her face, whipping her head back into the counter again. she ignored the stinging pain from both sides, and just screamed, "Help." Tears choking her._

 _Then his eyes got big with an evil look, and he grabbed her hair with one of his hands, pulling her close to him._

 _And suddenly it wasn't her tears that were choking her. She couldn't scream any more. She gagged against him, tears running down her face, making him smile all the more. He moved her face back and forth, despite her pulling against him. He was more aroused with each time she tried to pull against him._

 _He moved farther down into her, and she couldn't breathe. Then he pulled out, and hissed, "Deep breath, darling." Then he entered her again, causing her to gag and wonder if she was going to puke all over him._

 _Her hands pushed against his thighs, just struggling to breathe. He would let her come up for air, but then he was down her again, sometimes holding himself down her throat, other times just moving her head up and down against him._

 _The razor._

 _She took her hands off of his thighs, giving him the idea that she was accepting her fate with him. But her hands flew around her, trying to find her purse that had fallen off of her shoulder when they had gotten into the bathroom._

 _She couldn't breathe. And hse looked up at him to find him in such ecstasy that he didn't notice that she wasn't resisting as much._

 _He pulled out, and she caught her breath, and down again. Gag._

 _She found it. She slid her hands into the fold, wrapping her hand around the razor. She pulled it out, and positioned it in her hand. She waited._

 _He pulled out. She took a deep breath. And he went to go in again. And before he could get himself down into her throat, she drove the razor straight into his groin._

Luke couldn't get the door open. "Lorelai. Open the door. I just want to talk to you."

He was so afraid. She was in there with a knife. She wasn't herself. And he knew he had to get to her before something bad happened. He couldn't imagine walking in to find her bleeding all over. He knew what he had to do, but he was afraid that the noise would scare her farther into herself. But he took a step back, and said, "Lorelai, move away from the door." And he hit the door with all his might – and the door broke down.

It was dark in the room. He couldn't see, and his eyes were adjusting. He looked around, trying to find her to make sure she was ok. But out of nowhere, he heard something coming from the corner. He turned, and watched as Lorelai lunged at him. Her eyes were terrified. And her arm was pulled back holding something. He couldn't see what was coming at him because of the dark until light from the doorway hit the steel blade causing him to realize it was the knife.

"Leave me alone, you asshole. Get away from me." She screamed as she raised the blade above her.

"Lorelai, no. Stop." He yelled, watching as the knife came down only inches away from his chest. He grabbed her arm, which caused her to wrestle around him, still screaming bloody murder, the cry of someone who's only thought was to stay alive.

Despite her adrenaline rush, he quickly wrestled the knife away from her, and threw it across the room away from the two of them. He grabbed her arms that were now flailing and aiming for his face.

"Get your hands off of me, you animal." She screamed. "I'm not having sex with you or any other man at this party."

He realized she wasn't present in reality right now. But he just listened as she pulled and strained against him. "If you're going to rape me, you're going to have to fight me first."

 _He felt sick to his stomach._

"You might have paid my husband, but I wont just lay here and take it."

He just cried. He sank to the floor of the bedroom, letting go of her arms to give her freedom to hit him over and over on the back and on the shoulders. He couldn't believe it. He just cried for the woman who stood before him – a woman so beaten and worn – a woman that he had loved – that he had cherished. And as she just hit him with her tiny fists, he sobbed. After a few minutes, she sank to the ground, seeming to come out of whatever dream or memory she was in – and she said

"Luke, Im so sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry…" She cried.

And he just sat there, crying and said, "No, Im sorry. You didn't deserve any of this."


	24. Chapter 24

Lorelai couldn't believe she had just attacked Luke with a knife. She couldn't believe that she had tried to hurt someone who was only trying to help her.

"Luke, I'm so sorry."

He looked up at her, his eyes full of … pity. And he said, "I don't know what to say." Then he asked, "What happened to you?"

Tears were in her eyes, having wanted to feel that someone cared about her – about what happened to her – she had wanted a man to look at her and not see her for what she could do to please him – she had wanted someone to come and take care of her – but she had learned that men wanted only one thing – her body. And what she could give them.

She shook her head, "No, you can't know – you'll .. you'll never be able to look at me again… I'm damaged… god, I can't even love myself – how could anyone else?"

He leaned over to her, and brushed a tear away from her cheek. "Lorelai." He said, his voice so comforting and painful all at once – because she knew that once she told him, he would never look at her the same way again. "I promise… I never stopped … caring for you…"

She just barely whispered, "It was really bad."

Maybe it was the bourbon. Or maybe she just couldn't handle it anymore. Or maybe after trying to kill someone she felt that they deserve an explanation. But her voice quaked as she said, "talking always helped me clear my head."

Luke moved to the endge of the room, against the wall – the wall opposite of where they threw the knife. But she moved over with him, leaning against the wall. She was so thankful for the dark.

Luke just sat there, tears still in his eyes, and he said, "Just take your time."

"where should I start?" She asked. Not sure if she was asking Luke or asking herself.

"What happened after you left the hospital?" He asked.

"He wouldn't let me go home. He said we could buy all new things, that there was no need to go home. We rented a car and drove to Boston, his house there."

 _It was so cold in the car._ "I cried the whole way." _Rory was all alone. I left my daughter._ "I got into bed and cried all night." _The next morning – it was the first time –_ "He raped me the next morning."

She waited, listening to see whether Luke would break down – because if he did, she knew she couldn't tell him the rest. She knew that was the least scary of everything that had happened to her. He just moved a bit closer to her.

"Wait. Please." She said. "I really need you to not touch me when I'm telling you what happened." He looked confused. "What you mean to be caring and supportive, I feel as threatening and violent." She paused, waiting for him to question. But he didn't. "I have to calm myself every time someone touches me. But what Im about to tell you, I can't be worried about calming myself down."

 _Here it goes._

"The first two weeks it was fine. I mean, he wanted to have sex all the time, and I was missing Rory. But other than him hitting me a bit, there wasn't anything that I couldn't talk myself out of." She was calloused. _He only hit me during sex anyway._ "I could handle that. It was all so that Rory could be safe."

She took a deep breath.

"Then one night, he asked me to go out to dinner with him." Her hands started to shake, so she crossed them in front of her. "He took me to the office, where he left me there…" _Jason's face came to her mind. And the ropes. And the pain._ "He let another man have sex with me." _Have sex?_ "He let another man rape me." _Waking up on the cold, hard desk._ "He left me there in his office, locked in there with another man who had paid to have sex with me." _The ride home. The threats. The forboding._ "And then Chris took me home and…" _Raped me…_

She no longer was telling him for Luke – she was telling herself – she was just trying to reason through what had happened. "It hurt so much, after the office…"

"The next night, he took me to a party, and another man took me upstairs, and…" Her rationality started to fade… "the tiles on the bathroom floor hurt my knees so much… but he hit me… and … I had never been so humilitated… I called for help… no one came." Her voice choked up here, and she just put her head in her hands, and cried. Her whole body shook. And she said, "He always threatened me with Rory. He said… he didn't want to have to use her like … like… me…"

She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't remember anymore – she didn't want to – because with each word, came the real life experiencing memory of it. And she was so thankful for the dark – she had gotten used to the dark – the dark hid so much from what she didn't want to see- when Chris would make love to her in the dark, she could pretend that she was somewhere else – she could cry without making him angry. The dark was her friend.

They just sat there, Lorelai trying to push the nightmares away. And, she imagined, Luke was trying to wrap his mind around it.

And then she said, "Please don't hate me."

And she leaned her head against his bread shoulder that was sitting against the wall. And she felt it shaking.

"Luke, are you crying?" She said, turning to him, wishing for just a bit of light to see him.

He said the first words since she had started talking, and they were mixed with tears, "Lorelai, I could never hate you." It was her turn to cry. _Trust me, you sure could if you got to know me now._ "And…" Luke paused, and then he turned to face her, even though they couldn't see each other completely, he said, in a tone so sweet, even angels would have listened, "You are the strongest woman I know. To survive this to protect your daughter – that's a real hero."

Rory sat outside the door of the bedroom. She herself was also leaning against the wall. But her hands were covering her mouth, so her cries would not be heard by her mother as she grieved her guilty heart for causing her mother all of this pain and torment.


	25. Chapter 25

Lorelai stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, rubbing her eyes hoping she didn't fall over anything in the way of her getting coffee. She had slept on the floor of her bedroom again, but this time, she had managed to sleep curled up alone – well, alone as with Luke sitting against the opposite wall, watching her sleep.

She poured coffee into her mug, lifted it to her nose, and that was when she realized that there was no coffee in the cup. _What the fuck?_ She looked to the coffee maker. No coffee in there either. She opened the tin that set next to the glorious brewery of the real magic.

 _Empty._

Her face scrunched up, and she became like a bloodhound, searching through the cabinets, opening drawers. All in the meanwhile calling out, "Luke! Luke!" Getting to the end of the kitchen, she started searching through the house for Luke, her face still scrunched up and tired angry.

"Luke. Luke. What happened to all the coffee?" She called upstairs, then she went up the stairs, walked into the bathroom where he was showering. "Luke."

She saw the curtain jump. "Jesus, Loreial."

She just crossed her arms, and leaned back against the bathroom door. "Where is the coffee?"

"I'm in the fucking shower, Lorelia." He called out to her. She unscrunched her face just a bit to laugh at his attempt to be angry with her. He was so modest – and this was making him uncomfortable.

"You're the coffee man. I need the coffee."

He huffed. "The coffee man? Really?"

"Yes the coffee man. The man with whom the coffee resides and somehow shows up at my house. You hold the power in this relationship – the relationship with my habit." His hand come out of the shower, grabbed the towel on the shower hook. She continued. "Do you know what happens to me if I don't have the coffee? I become unable to speak and function. If I don't speak, then you will be worried about me. And if someone needs my help, I will just sit there, thinking _I need coffee._ I mean what if Sookie needed me to give some advice on the inn. And she called me and I couldn't offer any advice and somehow all of the guests were stranded out in the desert, and all I could do is to sit there and think _If only Luke had done his job and gotten me coffee._ And if all the guests were stranded in the desert, someone would have to go rescue them. Jackson would call me and need me to help him go and …"

Luke, covered in the towel, threw the shower curtain open. "Ok!"

She smiled in victory at his annoyance.

He said, "My god, you sure can go on and on." Then he motioned to the door, and said, "Now will you please let me get clothed before you send me out to rescue the world from your lack of coffee?"

She just smiled, turning away and walking out of the bathroom. "So you're gonna go get coffee."

He poked his head out of the bathroom to look at her, and said, "I seem to remember that there is a great place to go just a few blocks from here."

She crossed her arms in front of her, and said "You're going to make me walk all the way to the diner without my first two cups?"

The door opened, and the towel was flung out at her, hitting her in the face. And Luke grunted, "I am not bringing you coffee to go out and get more."

She laughed just a little as she pulled the towel off of her head, and said, "But I don't know how I will make it to the diner. I never leave here without at least two cups, and even that makes it tough to get all the way there – I normally have to stop and pull myself along Dossey's window to get to the diner with only two cups of coffee."

He came out of the bathroom, completely clothed, hat included. "I will be there with you, every step of the way." His flat tone made her smile even more. "Now go get dressed so we can go."

She hurried out of the room, and called back at him, "Have you been working out?" Just to make him uncomfortable.

She didn't know how she felt about seeing him without a shirt on. It wasn't like he was hideous at all, his strong arms and broad back were a perfect width for holding during kissing. But they were just friends now – and even just the thought of kissing or being kissed made her start to feel sick.

And without coffee, she coulnd't feel sick just yet.

So she threw on another pair of sweatpants, a baggy tshirt, and sweatshirt over that. He knocked on the door just as she had pulled her cowboy boots over her bare feet.

She threw the door open. "Hurry. I don't think I can make it much longer."

She grabbed his hand, and pulled him down the stairs, throwing his coat at him, and pulled hers over her sweatshirt. She just pointed out the door, and said, "Coffee."

Luke rolled his eyes, and said, "Boy, do you look like a junkie."

Again. She pointed, and said, "Coffee."


	26. Chapter 26

_**Im sorry it's been a bit since I've updated - life sucks sometimes - thats all I can say to that - but I hope you'll bear with me - hoping to update a few times tonight and maybe this weekend :) Please leave reviews - those were the things that helped me realize I should write some more - so if you want more, please review!**_

"Rory, I can't believe you drove back and forth to school everyday."

Rory just smiled, and said, "I just couldn't bear to leave the house all alone." She turned back to the box of books in front of her. "How on earth do I decide which books I need? I mean, there's no way I can leave all my Dicken's, but then I might not have room for Henry James and Anna Karenina."

She knew what books she wanted to take. That was the least of her worries right now. _How on earth can I leave my mother alone? Leaving the only person I wanted for so long?_ Her mother was looking a bit better – at least a bit better since the night Rory had overhead the breakdown. She looked up to see her mother's bruises on her face fading even more, the dark circles just a little bit less dark under her eyes, and the stitches on her arm were scheduled to come out in a few days.

 _But her eyes._

There was no sparkle. None of the feisty, playful sparkle in her eyes. Just deep blue sadness. Rory could still see it.

 _Because of you._

"Is there something wrong, kid?" Her mother asked, and Rory realized she had been staring into her eyes.

 _Because of you. She suffered and stayed in that horrible situation because of you._

Rory just hid all the emotion from her face, not ever wanting her mother to know that she knew the story. "No, just weird thinking leaving this place."

Folding the last of the clothes, Lorelai smiled, and said, "Oh, you're not leaving this place, silly. In fact, you had better be back here in no less than three weeks to catch up on junk food nutrition and horrible TV shows."

Smiling a fake smile, Rory nodded and turned back to her books. "Well, I think that should be enough. I can always come back and get anymore if I need them."

"I'm glad Paris had an extra bed open in her suite." Her mother said, then smirked, "But Paris, Rory?"

Rory just grimaced, "Well, better to move in an inconvenience her than someone else."

"But PARIS?"

Rolling her eyes, she said, "I know." _The fastest way into a dorm at school._

Her mother picked up the last box of clothes. "Mom, are you sure that's not too heavy?"

"I'm not an invalid yet." Lorelai shot behind her as she carried the box to the front room.

Rory turned and looked at her room. The bed was still the same. She was going to miss the security this had offered during the times she didn't know what was happening in her life. The quiet struggles she had suffered here alone without her mother there to comfort her. The times she was sure someone had broken into the house but was too afraid to move. The times she had cried herself to sleep missing her mother. The dent in the wall from her being angry at her mother for leaving her alone. _How could you be angry?_ She asked herself. _There was nothing she could do. It wasn't her choice._ She almost called out and said she was just going to stay here. Until she remembered. _Your mother lived through hell and is still suffering because she tried to protect you. If you're not here, she won't have to protect you. She won't have to worry about you. You won't be the constant reminder of why she went through so much. No, you can't stay._

She turned the light off, and walked outside to where Luke was standing there helping load up her stuff in her car.

"Were you saying goodbye to the books you had to leave here?" Her mother asked, a mocking tone in her voice.

She handed Luke the box of books she was carry, and he said, "You mean she LEFT books here? They're not all in here?"

Rory just laughed at him, "Don't ask." Then she turned to her mom, who was standing there, with her hands in her jean pockets, looking excited and sad at the same time.

"Mom, are you sure you're going to be ok?" She asked out of concern, "I can call Paris and stay another night here if you need me to."

She could tell her mother was just putting on a brave face. She didn't want Rory to go, because they had both been apart so long. Rory could tell she was conflicted. She could read her mother just like a book. Her mother desperately didn't want to be apart from her – but she also wanted Rory to pursue her career and college as best as she could. _And you're using that to get out of her mind to give her time to heal._ She reasoned.

"I'll be fine, Rory." She said, and pulled Rory into a big hug. She just held her, and Rory settled into her embrace, wanting to never let go. "Don't worry about me. Go be the best student ever."

Her mother pulled away from the hug, but Rory couldn't bear to let her go so quickly. She held on even tighter, and felt her mother's heartbeat against her chest. She felt her mother's breath on her neck. She felt her mother's hands around her. And she just held on. And she thought all of the things she wished she could say. _I'm so sorry this happened because of me. I'm sorry I pushed you and dad together. I wish I could stay here forever. I don't want to go. Don't let me go._ But instead of saying this, she just said, "Stay safe. I love you." She whispered through tears.

And then she turned to hug Luke, who's strong arms wrapped her completely in a safe and secure hug. He said, "Drive safe."

And she let go of the hug, looked up at him, and whispered so her mother couldn't hear, "Don't let anything happen to her."

He just nodded. And she trusted him.

And with that she got into her car. Buckled up. Waved goodbye. And was gone. And once she was out of sight of the house, she pulled over to the side of the road, and she cried.


	27. Chapter 27

Lorelai watched Rory's car drive off and pulled her sweatshirt tighter around her, trying not to cry. She felt Luke's arm come around her shoulders, pulling her close. She didn't know why she was sad.

"Why does this feel so hard?" She asked. "I mean, this is normal. Sending your daughter off to college. I can't keep her here with me for the rest of her life. All parents send their kids off. But this feels – I feel – so empty."

Luke just said quietly, "I think it's a bit more than that."

And she just nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. "I think it's a combination of a normal parent letting their child go away to college – its hard even then."

And Luke finished her thoughts, "And you were forced away from her, and so letting go seems so against what you want to do, which is keep her close to you."

 _How would I make it without him right now?_

"Cup of coffee?" He asked her. She nodded, and they went inside together. Just as he opened the door for her, she asked, "What did Rory whisper to you?"

He just smiled down at her, and said, "She told me to take care of you."

She just smiled a sad look up at him. And said, "I can't believe how strong that girl is."

He just brushed her hair out of her face, and said, "She gets it from her mother."

She couldn't sleep that night. She just laid there. Her back against the carpeted floor. Her eyes on the ceiling. Her hands pulled the covers up to her chin. Her feet curled up under the blanket. And her mind completely outside of this room.

But she wasn't scared.

It wasn't surrounded by terror.

It wasn't in a fear-filled place.

It wasn't filled with horrible things.

It was back.

It was back in time.

And it was downstairs.

 _Luke._ She thought. _He sleeps downstairs every night just to be here when I need him. She never asked him to do that. She never asked him to give up his time to be with her. She never asked him to sit and listen to her memories._ She took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts. _But he's here. He was there when Rory was in the hospital. He watched over her and made sure she was fine when I couldn't. He came to rescue me. He was there in the hospital. He held my hand when they told me about losing the baby. He was there the first night at home when she had her first flashback. He was there to make her mother leave._

 _And he stayed here after I attacked him with a knife. He stayed after hearing my horrible stories. He still hugged her after hearing what a horrible piece of human being she had been treated like._

 _And he promised Rory he would take care of me._

 _And he is sleeping downstairs._

And she felt so comforted. She felt like she wasn't alone – even after Rory had left that morning.

And she sat up.

And climbed down the stairs. Quietly.

And it was her turn to watch him sleep – _He hadn't slept for a long time after you got home from the hospital – he was always there, watching to make sure she was ok._

Now her mind went back even farther. When he had been hers. She remembered crawling into bed, feeling his strong arm around her. His skin against hers. Feeling so safe. Feeling like she was protected. How he always woke her up when he got up early – even though he tried so hard not to. If he stirred even just a little at night, she would feel his foot touch her leg – he was subconsciously making sure she was still laying there besides him.

And now her mind was able to try and process what all of these feelings and observations meant. _He is such a sweet man. He cares for me._

And then her heart sunk. And tears crept to her eyes. Because no matter how happy she was to have him around. No matter how much comfort his touch had been in the past, she knew there was no way they would be able to have the intimacy they had shared before. She knew there was no way she could crawl into bed with him. She knew there was no way he would feel like he had a girlfriend – not with her. She would always be the needy child who just needed him for the protection he offered her – not because they could ever be that couple again.

She could never experience that personal intimacy with anyone ever again. Not after -

She sniffed, and he jumped awake. "Lorelai, are you ok?" He asked with fear in his voice as he jumped off of the chair and came to where she was sitting. "What are you doing down here? Is something wrong?"

Seeing how much he cared for her made her cry just a bit more.

And just like the wonderful man she had come to know even better these past few days, he just sat there, just being there, comforting with his presence. Until she was ready to talk.

And she looked deep into his eyes.

And she asked, "Luke, what …" She paused, trying to keep her voice from crackling. "what if I told you I don't think I could ever… ever love you… like before… when we were together?"

She watched his face. He took a deep breath. And she could see him thinking. Trying to form the words. Trying to form even the thoughts.

And she couldn't bear the slience. "I mean, what are we doing? Are we dating here? I don't know if… I actualy do know. I know there's never going to be a way I can…"

And he hushed her. He put a finger to her mouth, and said, "Shhh… its my turn."

She smiled at how he stopped her rambling.

"Lorelai." She loved how he said her name. "I never. Ever." He looked deep into her eyes, "I never did anything like this expecting something from you."

She felt confused.

 _But what man would do something like this – take care of a woman so deeply… without expecting the end result of a relationship?_

"Stop thinking and listen." He said quietly. "I love you."

She drew in a quick breath. Afraid of what came after that statement.

"Listen. Lorelai. I love you because I love you. Not because of what I can get from you – not because of what you can give to me. I love you just because there is no way I cant love you." His voice sounded so genuine. "I could never leave you alone to deal with this. Because I love you. And that is all. If you never can love me back, I will still love you."

Now she had to say something, "But Luke, you can't just love me. You can't just love this broken person. You deserve so much better." _Trust me, I'm garbage compared to what you deserve._ "I don't want you to love me if it stops you from finding happiness with someone who can exchange those feelings with you, Luke."

And then she heard the words that gave her goosebumps with the ramifications of what they meant. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve the happiness I get from seeing you smile. From knowing you're safe – I don't deserve what I have right now."

She just looked at him, unable to fully comprehend that he was saying she was so much better than what he could love. And she didn't believe him.

And now it was time to get practical.

"Luke, you have to go back to your life."

He shook his head. "No, I have to make sure you get through this…"

"I have to get back to my life. I have to find life again, Luke. I have to find a new normal."

"You have to take the time." He said, concern pouring out of him, and he said, "I'm not going to let you push me away again."

"Again?" She asked, trying to remember…

And he looked down at his hands and began his confession. "If I hadn't left the hospital that night – if I hadn't let your hurt push me away – none of this would have happened. I would have been there to protect you against him. I would have been there for you to tell about him wanting you to leave the hospital and leave Rory. If I would have stayed, you wouldn't have ever gotten into this mess."

And this was said without tears – this was said as if he had thought this for a long time – he had been beating himself up over this.

"Oh, Luke." She whispered. "No. I told you to leave. What other choice?"

He just sat there, and said, "I could have stayed in that waiting room."

 _Would I have told him after Christopher threatened me?_ She didn't know. _I was so scared that night. I don't know if I would have._

They just sat there. And thought about what those words really meant. And then Lorelai broke the silence. "I won't push you away."

But.

"But you can't have your life revolve around me. You have to go back to life."

And he looked at her. And she had never felt more assured of herself when she said, "I have to find my new life. And I want you in it. So let me find it."


	28. Chapter 28

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WHEN YOU GET TO THE END**

Luke didn't even look up when the door to the diner opened. "I'll be right with you." He was focused on the register – trying to make sure he had enough cash for the rest of the day all while trying to take inventory so he could make his order and waiting for food to be ready.

"I don't know if I can wait."

He smiled inside at the voice. "Coffee coming right up." And he looked up to find the one person who made his heart happy. Her smile.

He watched as she sat up on the stool close to the counter. It had been almost four weeks since their talk on the stairs in the middle of the night. And, of course, nothing had changed overnight.

But her skin wasn't so pale. She didn't have so many dark circles under her eyes. Her arms, although covered with a coat to keep warm, were free from stitches. She had been working at the inn three days a week, and was loving having something to take her out of the house, get her mind off of things in her head, and just let her interact in a positive way with the public.

After about two weeks, she had told him to go home that night. To let her try and be alone for a night. He had been home for about an hour before he got the call to come back. She just wanted him to hold her. But they kept trying. After about three more days, he had gone home and stayed home for the whole night.

She still called him whenever she had a nightmare. She said she just needed to hear a voice telling her that what she was remembering or experiencing wasn't happening right then – and she said his voice calmed her down. And he was fine with that. He loved hearing her voice.

But she hadn't experienced an actual flashback like the night with the knife since they had talked. And Luke wasn't sure there wasn't going to be another one, but he knew she was healing – she was slowly getting her life back. And he was happy with that.

Her voice pulled him out of his trance. "Are you just going to stare at me or going to help me get my coffee coffee coffee?"

Her eyes sparkled just a bit – not like they used to, but her smile made his day as he poured her coffee.

"Heard anything from Rory?" He asked, not having heard from the girl in a few weeks.

Grabbing a donut off of the plate on the counter, she said, "She called me last weekend. Said classes are horribly terrible and fun but she's just too busy to come home this weekend."

Pretending to be annoyed, he covered the donuts up, and said, "Don't use your fingers. Are you five?"

She replied with a fighting smile on her face. "Yes." And she started her precious rambling. "I am a very tall five year old. Only because I drink coffee and carrot juice all day along. I drink carrot juice and pee orange. I also am very smart and completed all of the years of school in 4 months. I haven't written a symphony, but my friend Beethoven told me he was going to help me the next time we get together." She paused for breath, but then continued, "Katie Couric asked to interview me, but I told her I didn't know if I could fit her into my schedule of writing and leading an extraordinary life."

He wanted to laugh. But he knew his role was to act like she was putting him out and act like this was so annoying. "Are you done yet." He said, pretending to be bored.

She grabbed another donut. And said, 'Yes."

He rolled his eyes, but turned to take food out to the rest of the customers. He loved when she acted like Lorelai. The Lorelai before Christopher. His Lorelai.

Then he stopped himself, checking his feelings, knowing that she had warned him to keep his feelings under control because of her healing process.

He served Kirk his plate, and Kirk just looked at them, then looked at him and said, "So would you ignore me if I grabbed a donut?"

Moving on, he just muttered to Kirk, "You don't like donuts, Kirk."

"Oh, yeah."

He turned back to the counter when he heard her saying, "Ow, ow ow."

"What?"

She stood up, grabbed her purse, and said, "I forgot about a meeting I have with the new linen guy."

"Why is that painful?" He asked, but she was gone. But he looked down at her now empty cup of coffee, and knew she had downed the entire hot cup before leaving. He just smiled, cleared the cup and wiped the donut crumbs from the counter.

The door opened again. "I'll be right with you." He said again, just out of habit. He didn't think customers needed to be attacked right away when they walked in. If they thought that he should be right there right away to help them, then they should go somewhere else – everyone knew he would help them when he could.

"Luke, we need to talk."

He looked up to find Richard standing there. In his diner.

Luke was speechless.

He wasn't sure what was more shocking.

The fact that Lorelai's father was there – just the fact that Richard was standing in his diner. They hadn't heard anything from her parents in more than a month. He hadn't thought that her parents were going to respect her wishes and stay out of her life – but he hadn't expected her father to come to Star's Hollow.

But Richard's appearance was shocking.

He was wearing a tshirt. Not his usual suit and bow tie. His hair was completely gray. And he had a beard- clearly hadn't shaved in a while – and his eyes were bloodshot – like he hadn't slept in a very long time.

And his voice was so strained and concerned.

And he repeated himself. "We need to talk."

And Luke finally found his words. Well, he found his gestures to lead him to the back storeroom. Because he would have thrown him out – he would have done whatever Lorelai wanted him to do if she had been here.

But she wasn't

And the appearance of the elderly man in front of him was enough to shake him up to throw his thought process off.

"Lane, I'll be in the back. Cover for me."

And then he shut the door.

And he just looked at Richard. Waiting for whatever they needed to talk about.

He prepared himself for what he thought might be coming. The argument that Richard needed to talk to Lorelai. Or that Rory hadn't been in contact with her grandparents and they wanted to talk to her. Or that Richard was going to apologize to him for how they had treated him. Or to thank him for what he had done that night when they had rescued Lorelai.

But nothing.

Nothing.

Prepared him for the words that came out of his mouth.

"Chris is alive."


	29. Chapter 29

Luke's world turned upside down.

He couldn't say anything.

But Richard continued.

"He survived the gunshot that night."

Luke still had no words. _I watched him fall. On me. Blood._

"I was waiting to tell you until it was sure that he wasn't going to survive. I just wanted him dead, that bastard." The voice was angry.

But Luke couldn't think of anything.

"But then two weeks ago I was informed that they had incarcerated him because he was out of critical care."

And now Luke found five words.

"You knew and didn't tell?"

Richard swallowed. Nervously. And continued. "You have no idea how many times I've picked up that telephone to call."

"You knew for two weeks?"

"Who was I supposed to call? I wanted to give Lorelai her space. I didn't want to hurt her again. I … I've hurt her so much… I couldn't…"

Luke started to feel anger. "You didn't call me?"

Richard was wringing his hands together. But he didn't say anything.

Luke took off his cap, and ran his hands through his hair, not sure what the hell he was going to say. He was so angry. So angry that Richard had waited to talk to him. So angry that Chris was still alive – that bastard. He wanted to go to that prison and strangle the man. He was pacing the storeroom – and it was a small place – so it was even more frustrating.

"What happens now?" Luke asked, and his mind immediately went to Lorelai. _This is going to destroy her. She was finally feeling like she was recovering, finally living her life – this – its …_ He had no words.

"There's going to be a trial." Richard couldn't look at him. "She's going to have to testify."

And now – this was Luke's turn to be angry.

And he grabbed the old man by the collar, and pushed him up against the shelve, glass jars crashing to the floor, the shelves shaking behind the old man. But Luke was furious. Richard's face was one of fear and guilt.

"You son of a bitch." Luke said. "You pushed her." And he shoved him again. "You bailed him out of jail. She was safe, you asshole. She was safe from him. But you went – this is your fault. He did this to her because of you."

And now the fear gave away to complete guilt. And tears started falling down the old man's face. But Luke couldn't stop. "This was all about how you looked – keeping the fucking Gilmore name out of the mud." He just imagined her up in front of everyone having to tell what that bastard had done to her. And anger flowed again, "And now you're going to have her name and identity and whole life drug through the mud in front of the world because of you." He was yelling now. And he gave one last shove to the man. And stepped back.

And Richard said with tears in his voice, "Its all my fault. This is all my fault. I know."

All Luke could think was _Lorelai. What are we going to do?_ And he decided to ask Richard that. "What are we going to do? You've had fucking two weeks to think through this – how are you going to deal with this?"

"I have the best lawyer set up. He has experience with domestic abuse…" Richard paused. And Luke looked up to find him physically sobbing. There were no words that Luke had to realize that Richard felt so much guilt. To see such a stoic and strong man crying his heart out, Luke knew that this had hit Richard hard. So he allowed the man to spill his guilt.

"She is my little girl. I watched her grow up. She used to bound down those stairs, her dresses flying up, making Emily so angry. But she was such a happy child – always laughing." Luke turned away, allowing the man time to grieve. "She was always the prankster. She would love to hide behind doors and scare the crap out of people – the maids, her mother, guests – me. No matter how many times we tried to tell her to stop, she would always get someone at the regal parties we used to throw."

And he stopped. To cry.

Then continued. "When I found out she was pregnant, I was so ashamed. I was ashamed of her. And I couldn't believe she left us to ruin her life more."

"But what I didn't see was that she was doing her best with that she had been given."

Luke was realizing just how much her father was hurting. "And she did a damn good job." Anger crpet to the old man's voice. "But it wasn't good enough for her mother and I, damn us. We needed her to be married to a man of prestige and importance. No care to what kind of man he was. I knew he wasn't dependable. I knew he wasn't capable of great things. But I still pushed for them. I was so happy when she came back from france and told us they had eloped."

The pain in luke's stomach was enough to make him want to throw up.

"And when he called me that night from jail, I knew that something wasn't adding up. I knew that something had happened. But because I wanted everyone to see them as a great couple, I put aside my nagging thoughts and went to pay for that bastard to get out of jail." Luke winced as he remembered the night with the scene with Rory. "He sweet talked me, told me he had lost his temper, but htat it was a one time thing."

Now Richard pounded his fist against the table, "I left him alone with her. She begged us not to." His voice quaked. "Then they left I thought it was good for them to get away and deal with things."

And then there was a great pause.

Luke turned back around to find the man with both hands on the storeroom table, barely able to stand up. And when he talked, his voice was barely audible, "I called her a prostitute. A hooker. My beautiful daughter. My little girl – I was ashamed of how she was acting. But she was acting. To save herself."

And now Luke interjected, "And Rory." Richard looked up at him with questioning in his eyes, "Christopher threatened to hurt Rory if Lorelai didn't do what he said."

The old man just shook his head, his face red with tears.

"I have to help." He said quietly, then louder, "You have to let me help. Because I can't let the last interaction with my daughter to be calling her a whore."

Luke nodded. Because he had no idea what to do with the information that they would have to go to trial. "What do we do."

Richard somehow regained his composure. And said, " I have the lawyer. He said that abuse cases are hard to prosecute against, but we are going to win this."

Luke nodded. "She's going to be devastated."

"We also need to get some witnesses together who saw what he did the first night with Rory."

 _Sooki, Me. Loreial_ Luke thought.

"We need to schedule a meeting with the lawyer as soon as possible." Richard said. "Tomorrow?"

Luke just shook his head. "No. That's too soon."

Confusion on the old man's face again. Luke explained, "You haven't seen Lorelai since that night. She is going to need a couple of days to digest this." He remembered the other flashbacks and knew those triggers hadn't been even close to what was going to happen when he told her. "We can't rush her."

Richard just nodded. Then asked, "Do you want me to tell her?"

 _Her first interaction with her father being him bringing the news that her captor is still alive?_ "No. She trusts me. I will tell her."

Pain shot across the man's face. But Luke felt no sorrow at telling the truth. Lorelai needed it to come from him. "Richard, you take care of the legal things. I will call you tomorrow and see how things are."

And that was the end. He escorted Richard out. And then he grabbed his coat and started walking. He knew it would be faster to take the truck. Especially in the cold. But he needed time. Time to think of what to say. Time to think of how she may react. And time to accept that the sweet and recovering Lorelai was going to go back to the fearful, scared, and terrorized woman that he had never wanted to see again – he wanted her to be better – he didn't want what was going to come.

Lorelai could tell something was wrong the minute she saw Luke walk into the inn. He wouldn't look at her. He just looked at the ground, his hands in his pockets. He couldn't stand still.

"What's wrong." She said, walking over to where he stood in the doorway. She told herself to stop and calm down. She couldn't go into a panic attack over something she didn't know was happening.

He just said, "We need to talk."

She nodded, and led him back to her small office, and she didn't sit at the desk. She just closed the door, and turned to where he was standing. And she waited.

He looked at her.

She saw fear.

She saw anger.

She saw concern.

And she saw pity.

And she knew something horrible was wrong.

"What is it, Luke." _What if…_ "Is it Rory?" Her heart started pounding. "Is she ok? Was there an accident? Is she ok?"

He interrupted her. "Rory's fine."

 _What else is there? What else. Is something wrong with the house…_ She couldn't understand what else in her life would cause him to be like this – if Rory was ok…

"Lorelai, I need you to know that I'm here and I'm going to be here and I'm not going to leave."

 _Something with April? I thought she was back in New Mexico with her mother for a while? What else did they leave over? What would…"_

He barely muttered the words.

"Chris is alive."

And her world crashed around her.

First, she just couldn't grasp it. "What? What? What? He's dead. He died. _She remembered his face when the gunshot went off that night. He fell and his eyes glazed over. He died. He isn't alive. He died._

"He survived the gunshot." Luke's quiet voice sounded around her.

Now, she went into panic mode.

She couldn't hear anything; she could hear her pulse in her ears. Her hands started to shake. She couldn't catch her breath. She grabbed the wall with one hand, and the desk with the other, and just tried to anchor herself to something. She felt her mind slipping back into the fear as his face came to her mind.

"Where is he? He's going to come after me." And then she started screaming, fear clinging to each word, "Rory. He's going to hurt her." She grabbed Luke's hand, and said, "Go, go get her. You have to save her. He said he was going to hurt her."

She could feel the past clawing at her brain. _I sent someone to get Rory. You don't think you can pull that shit on me and not have consequences? Bitch, she's mine._

She could hear Luke's voice in the distance, and she tried to find his tone and words to keep her connected. "He's in prison. He can't get to you or Rory."

But that didn't stop her mind from traveling back. _Chris, no, please._

She felt hands on her shoulders. She heard Luke's voice. "Lorelai. Lorelai, look at me. He can't get you. This isn't real."

She tried. She said, "Luke. Luke don't let him get me."

"He can't get you. I won't let him. I need you to look at me. You need to stay here with me, Lorelai. Lorelai."

She tried to focus on him saying her name. But suddenly it shortened. And she just cried out, "Luke, please, save me. Don't let me go back."

But it was too late. _Lor. You're mine. Lor. You'll never get away. Lor. This is it. You're going to die with me. Lor._


	30. Chapter 30

_Very Rated R scene - please review_

 _The man was screaming. She missed his groin and had rammed the sharp razor into his thigh. She pulled it out, and shoved it back again. He screamed and started to pull away from her, kicking her away from him. She pulled away from him, blood from his stab wound all over her face and hands. He was still screaming._

 _Suddenly there was pounding on the door. "Open up, you asshole. What the hell is going on. You're supposed to be quiet about this."_

 _It was Chris._

 _Lorelai pulled away into the corner of the cramped bathroom, still shielding herself from the blood._

 _The screaming man somehow found the lock on the door, and it flew open._

 _She was so afraid._

 _She knew she should get rid of the razor. She knew if she was holding it, they would target her right away, but she couldn't let go. It had saved her tonight. She had fought back._

 _Chris looked at the man. Then down his leg to where there was blood throbbing out all over the white tile floor._

 _Then he looked at her. Blood all over her. Razor in her hand._

 _Anger and adrenaline flooded his face._

 _He grabbed the man by the lapels. "Thomas, shut the hell up. Stop screaming." But the man continued. And Chris hauled off and hit the man square in the jaw. He was immediately gone, limp in Chris' hands._

 _Still bleeding._

 _Suddenly, Jason came up beside Chris. "What the fuck happened?" He asked whispering._

 _Lorelai watched Chris' gaze run from the man's thigh to her hand._

 _And Jason also followed. And said, "Fuck. What do we do now?"_

 _Chris started to panic. Lorelai could tell. All she could do was press herself farther away against the wall. Chris handed the limp man to Jason. "Call 911. Tell them he fell in the bathroom and stabbed himself with this…" His eyes found hers. And he knew it was his razor. "Razor."_

 _Her hand tightened around the blade. It was her safety._

 _She stood to her feet as Chris came closer to her. She put the razor behind her skirt._

 _"Jason, move so I can get her away from in here. We can't have them finding out about her."_

 _Her mind scrambled. There were medical professionals coming. They would find her and save her. If she could just stay here, maybe they could rescue her._

 _Jason pulled the man around the corner. And Chris went to grab her arm. The one with the razor. But she had switched hands behind her back. And as he reached for her arm, she extended her other arm and sliced down across his arm. She heard the suit coat rip. And she felt contact with flesh._

 _And he cried out in pain._

 _"Let me out of here now." She said through clenched teeth._

 _Blood was now coming from the short but deep cut across his forearm. "Bitch." He said. He went to use his other arm to elbow her in the face, but she againt brought the razor upand poked it into his dress shirt, and held it against his rib cage._

 _"I can push it through, or you can let me go."_

 _She didn't know what had come over her. Where this strength was coming from – because she had none before. Her hands were caked in blood from the older man. She just watched Chris' eyes grow wide, anger but control there – he knew she had the upper hand right now._

 _But she was reveling too much in her victory, and wasn't concentrating when Jason's voice distracted her. "Chris hurry up. He's bleeding all over everything out here."_

 _And in the split second that she was distracted, Chris grabbed her hand, wrestled the razor out of her hand, and threw it to the bathroom floor. Stunned, she didn't see his other injured hand come across and smash into her face, throwing her head back against the wall._

 _Then his hand encircled her small wrist, and he pulled her out the door of the bathroom. She tried to resist, to pull away and try to stay in the bathroom to wait for help. But he just tightened his grip and then twisted her so she was now in front of him, and he was pushing her out._

 _"Put him back in there, call 911, and deal with this, Jason." Chris hissed. "It was your idea to let him have her off the schedule." Jason looked afraid. Chris continued, "You better make this work."_

 _And she watched Jason's face go from concern to anger as he looked at her. Then he said to Chris, "Well, I didn't know this bitch was going to be packing." And he looked her in the eyes as he said to Chris, "Make her pay for this."_

 _Her heart plummeted and she didn't want to know what was waiting for her after they left this party._

 _And she went to the only thing left she could think of to save herself. She sank to the ground, going completely limp so Chris lost his grip on her. And she started screaming for help._

 _"Someone, help me. Please."_

 _As he picked up the man's limp body, Jason sneered at her, and pulled his leg back, and with all his might, he kicked her right in the ribs. And she lost her breath. And she couldn't call out anymore. And she could barely breath as she tried to catch her breath._

 _Chris picked her up, his arm encircling her waist, and pulled her down the hallway, to the back staircase used for servants. It lead right to the outside._

 _She sucked in her first gasp of air since having it kicked out of her. And she started to cry. And he hissed in her ear, "Stand on your feet, Lor."_

 _She could see he needed her to stand up so he could call the limo. And she just shook her head. She wasn't going to make this easy for him. And with that he pulled something out of his back pocket._

 _She couldn't see what it was - but she knew the feeling of a barrel against the back of her neck. "Stand up. Now."_

 _She debated in her mind. She couldn't believe she debated in her mind. Wondering if he would shoot her and put her out of her misery here._

 _"Rory." He said when she didn't immediately stand up. Her spine straightened in fear at the sound of her daughter's voice. "Stand the hell up or I'll shoot you and replace your sorry dead ass with her."_

 _What else could she do? She put weight on her feet, allowing him to let go of her to call the limo. She still felt the barrel against her neck, but she didn't need to. He didn't even need to threaten her with anything anymore._

 _She couldn't let Rory come into this. She had to stay alive to keep Chris from hurting her baby._

 _The limo pulled up, and Chris pushed her in before him, and then got in the same door. He told the limo driver, "Get us the hell out of here. Take us home."_

 _And the car was off._

 _And she just lay there on the floor of the car. He was across from her. She just laid there._

 _"What were you thinking, Lorelai?" He yelled at her. "Do you know what you've done?"_

 _She just stared at him. Not because she was strong at all. But because she had to see what he was going to do to her. She didn't want ot be surprised by anything._

 _"That man – he is the CEO of one of the top insurance businesses in the state." He said._

 _But all she could see was the old man's face as he used her face for his pleasure. As he tortured her, taking away her ability to breathe. Her absolute helplessness._

 _Chris kicked at her, and she pulled back away, pulling her knees to her chest getting as far away from him as possible._

 _They slowed to a stop as an ambulance sped past them._

 _And Chris just ran his hands through his hair, watching his cell phone for a call. And he yelled at her again, "Why can't you just do what you're told?"_

 _She couldn't say anything._

 _After a few minutes of terror as she waited for what he was going to do to her, she jumped when his phone rang. "What happened?"_

 _She could hear talking on the other end, but couldn't make it out. She just looked herself over, her hands were covered in blood – both of the old man and Chris'. The car was speeding over the road, and she could feel each bump as her left side hurt with each jolt. One particular time, it jolted her and she whimpered in pain._

 _Chris picked up the gun from his lap and pointed it at her, and she flinched back in fear. He just smirked. And continued on with his conversation, "So they believed the story?" A smile. "Ok. And he was conscious when you told him not to tell anyone?" He grimaced. "How much?"_

 _Anger came over him, and he slammed his hand down on the seat beside him, "Well of fucking course we have to pay him whatever he wants." Then. "Oh, trust me, she's going to pay."_

 _She just cowered even more. But nothing sent terror around her heart as when he said, "I mean she's going to physically pay that money back." He glared at her, his controlling master look, and then he said, "However many you can set up." And a smile came to his face. "We have that many interested? We both know she's worth paying for, so at 3,000 a person, we only need, what, ten to pay Thomas off?"_

 _The terror must have shown on her face, because Chris seemed to take pride in watching her react. "three or four at time time, one right after the other? Making 30 grand in the course of a few hours?" The happiness in his voice was the most sickening part of this, "Line up everyone who is interested. We might as well make up both the money we have to pay off and pad our own pockets for all the fucking trouble." Then he ended with, "Jason, this is going to make us rich. Come back to the house to help."_

 _And with that, she leaned over and right there on the carpet, she threw up the contents of her stomach. With each heave she thought of what horrors awaited her. Whatever he had set up._

 _"Lor, what the fuck? You just vomited all over the limo!" He yelled._

 _But she couldn't stop. She just threw up. And cried. And threw up. And sobbed._

 _She thought he would say something else. She thought he was going to keep yelling. He was so angry with her right now – she thought this was going to throw him over the edge. But when she sat up, he was just smiling his wickedness at her._

 _"Scared, aren't you?"_

 _And then the car stopped._

 _"Sir, we are home." The driver said, as he got out to open the door for Chris._

 _Chris still just smiled at her. And she just looked away. Chris got out of the car, and said, "Come on. No need to put this off."_


	31. Chapter 31

_Rated R - SCENE - PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION - BUT REVIEW_

 _She couldn't move. She couldn't make her body move. Couldn't make herself go into that house. She couldn't put herself into what she knew was going to be like dying. She couldn't…_

 _The other door that she was leaning against opened, and she felt Chris' arms pick her up. But she couldn't fight anymore. She just couldn't._

 _She could cry._

 _"Please." She whispered. "Chris. Please don't hurt me." She was so desperate. She just wanted him to see her as his wife. To see that she was just doing what she had to do to survive. She couldn't do anything more to make him happy. She was so broken._

 _He took her upstairs. To their bedroom. She just let him carry her. He threw her on the bed. "Take off your clothes." She didn't move. He yelled at her, "Now." She couldn't move. He pulled his belt off. He wrapped it around his hand. "Now. Take off your clothes."_

 _Mechanically, she reached behind her and unzipped her dress. It was covered in blood. She pulled her arms out of the dress. And let it fall to the floor. He was still holding the belt._

 _"Now your bra."_

 _She hesitated._

 _Crack._

 _Burning pain across her midsection as the leather collided with her soft skin._

 _She cried out in pain._

 _"Take off your bra."_

 _She reached behind her and carefully took it off, feeling ashamed and exposed, even in front of her husband. He had never whipped her before. She was completely naked now. Sitting there on the bed._

 _"Now go into the bathroom and wash all the blood off of you."_

 _She wanted to do that so much that he didn't have to hurt her to get her to do that one. She walked into the bathroom, and the mirror greeted her with a horrendous sight. Her face was completely covered in blood. All around her eyes. All around her mouth. Her nose was bleeding. But most of the blood seemed to just wash off with water – she remembered the feeling of blood cascading over her face after she stabbed that man._

 _Her arms were caked in blood – and she washed them off. There were still scars from where Jason had beat her. But she didn't look so scary._

 _"Are you done?" He called._

 _She couldn't answer._

 _She just walked back out._

 _Completely naked. So exposed._

 _"Lay down on the bed."_

 _He commanded her._

 _She walked over to him. And she sat on the bed. And then she reached up to grab him, to just tell him and beg him to forgive her. But he batted her hands away._

 _And told her again, "Lay down on the bed."_

 _She knew what was coming from him. This wasn't the first time he had raped her. It wouldn't be the last._

 _She crawled over to the middle of the bed, the blankets still a mess from earlier that day._

 _"On your back."_

 _She obeyed._

 _"Give me your arm." He said, as he whipped at her right arm._

 _Searing pain._

 _But she obeyed._

 _She felt something tighten around her wrist. She looked over, and realized he had leather restraints on each of the posts of the bed._

 _Panic. He had never restrained her before._

 _"Chris no." she pulled against it, using her left hand to try and unclasp the tight restraint on her right hand. "No, Chris. I'll do whatever you want. Don't tie me up." The memories of being immobile with her hands behind her back when Jason had raped her flooding her mind._

 _Chris grabbed her left hand and wrenched it painfully over to the other bedpost. She pulled and cried, "No." But she still felt the leather tighten around her wrist – rougher and tighter than her other arm._

 _Now she was laying on her back, her arms extending to the sides of the bed. He ran his hands down her leg and grabbed her left ankle._

 _The thought her legs being spread out terrified her even more than having her arms tied up. She crossed her legs, said, "I won't let you do that."_

 _Chris just laughed, his face embodying a demon. "You won't let me?"_

 _She just shook her head, putting all her might into keeping her legs together._

 _She expected him to use the belt that was still in his hands to make her open her legs._

 _But instead he walked into the bathroom. And she heard the mirror open. And he grabbed something. And came back out._

 _"I never knew what a good weapon I had right in my bathroom until tonight." He held up one of his razors – the sharp knife glistening from the lamplight in the bedroom._

 _She couldn't think. She couldn't process. She wanted to think that this was all a bad dream – she wanted to think that she could just black out and wake up the next morning. But he came closer and said, "Open your legs now, Lor."_

 _The thought of her legs being immobile like her arms was more terrifying than the knife he was holding. She couldn't just let him tie her up like a common animal to be tortured and raped. No. She had to fight._

 _He leaned over, grabbed her ankle, and tried to pull her legs apart. She wouldn't move._

 _And then she felt a cold metal against her inner thigh. And then he laughed. And pulled the knife across her soft skin. It wasn't too deep. It drew blood. And it hurt like hell. But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of crying out. This was too far. This was where she decided she wasn't going to let him just use her and let others use her without a fight. She wasn't a piece of meat. She was a human being. And she wasn't going to let him get away with this too easy._

 _"Now, Lor, there seems to be something different tonight." He walked to the other side of the bed. "I think you have the obscene idea that you have some sort of power here." He laid the razor on her opposite thigh – right across from the last cut. "I hope you haven't gotten that stupid idea in your head."_

 _He pulled the knife across her skin, a bit more pressure in his hand. But she still didn't cry._

 _He moved lower about an inch. "You think that since you fought back tonight that you have a chance to stop what's happening to you?"_

 _This was deeper. Tears came to her eyes. But she refused to cry._

 _He talked as he walked over to the other side of the bed, again keeping the cuts symmetrical. "You're about to experience pain you've never felt in your entire life, Lor." The cut caused her to inhale deeply, tears flowing down her cheeks. He seemed to take pleasure in watching her chest move as she tried to keep her breathing normal._

 _"Do you want to open up now, darling?"_

 _She didn't budge._

 _He moved lower. She could feel blood running from the other cuts around her thigh. He was watching where he cut – watching to cause the most pain without injuring her so he would kill her by cutting a vein._

 _"This is going to hurt, Lor." And he dug the knife down into her skin before pulling it across. She arched her back in pain, biting her lip._

 _She heard the door to the bedroom open, and looked over to find Jason standing there, looking on in pleasure._

 _Chris smiled, and said, "Just needs a little convincing for the restraints." He gestured to the knife and the cuts on her thighs._

 _She shuddered as Jason walked over to the bed, and laid his hand across her abdomen, and he breathed in deeply. "Oh, my dear, you are breathtaking."_

 _Chris was watching her. He could see how much she loathed Jason. And he handed the razor to Jason. "Revenge is so much better with blood."_

 _Jason just sneered at her, and instead of Chris' calculated, suspenseful cutting, Jason set the knife on her thigh, and made a cut. Then another. And another. Deep. And searing pain._

 _Lorelai tried to keep from crying out, but the pain was so unbearable. She finally yelled out in pain. He moved all the way to her knee, then went to the other leg. And cut. Cut. Cut._

 _Scream. Back-arching pain. She pulled at the restraints on her hands. The bed shook. Making both of the men smile. But he continued. He reached her knee. And instead of stopping, he just moved to her outer thigh – and started down._

 _And Chris said, "Just open your legs and all of this will stop."_

 _He made it all the way to her knee on the outside of her leg. And she couldn't imagine the searing pain anymore on the other. And she gave up her small fight. She relaxed her legs. Tears were running down her cheeks just like the blood was running all over her legs._

 _She waited for them to tie her angles to restraints. But she looked up to find Jason towering over her head, and said, "Well, thank you for obeying." He smiled. She looked away._

 _But then he said, "Now for your punishment."_

 _And she screamed out in pain as he made the other thigh to match wit the completely mangled one. He took his time, cutting deep into her skin, waiting for her to cry out in pain, gain composure, then move down. Once he finished, she was breathing so hard and in so much pain she thought she might pass out._

 _Chris grabbed one ankle, Jason the other. And they wrapped the leather restarints around them, leaving her there, outstretched, beaten, bloody, and helpless. She was still shaking from the pain. She was cold. She shivered._

 _They walked over to the door. And Chris said, "Don't go anywhere." And they left her there alone._


	32. Chapter 32

"Luke, how is she?"

"I don't know."

"She's been here for a while."

"It's going to take a while."

"Shhh… Jackson, why did you bring Davy here now? You know we need quiet?"

"Sorry. I thought you were going to watch him while I…"

"Come into the kitchen."

"Should I call Rory?"

"No. There's nothing she can do right now."

"Does she need a blanket?"

"I think she's shivering."

"No, don't touch her right now. She just needs some space."

"Do you want me to sit with her so you can go back to the diner?"

"No. She needs me here. Go home, Sooki. I'll call you if anything changes."

"Do you need anything to eat before I go?"

"No. Thanks though."

"Still the same?"

"No change."

"Do you want some coffee? Tea?"

"Tea would be nice."

"Luke you need to go get some rest. Did you sleep at all?"

"No. I need to be here for her."

"Please, I will sit here with her for a few hours. Go home. I won't leave her alone. If anything changes I will cal you and you can come right away."

"No, Sooki. Go. Cook. I have to be here with her."

"She needs me."

"Ok. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will."

"Lorelai."

"Shhh… you're safe."

"It's ok to cry."

"I'm right here."

 _I can't get out of these bonds, Luke. I want you. I can hear you. I know you're real. But I can't."_

"It's not real, Lorelai."

 _I want to come back. Come rescue me._

"Lorelai, I'm right here when you're ready. I'm not leaving."

 _They left me. I'm all alone. I'm cold. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I'm trapped._

"Lorelai, please don't leave me. I can't live without you. I can't live with you in that world."

 _Luke don't cry. I want you too. Please don't cry._

Luke had been sitting there for two days. On the floor of the office. She was curled up in a ball on the ground. She hadn't moved. She would cry. She would shiver. She would scream. She would lay there. She would close her eyes. She would open her eyes.

But she wouldn't say anything. She wouldn't acknowledge anything he said to her. She wouldn't acknowledge anyone else's voice. She wouldn't eat anything. She wouldn't drink anything.

Everyone was worried about her. Sooki was constantly there, worried about her and Luke. She brought food in, but Lorelai wouldn't eat. And Luke wouldn't eat until she would. Michel even came in and said he had brought his dog to see if that would help comfort her. But nothing helped.

He hadn't been able to make the call to Rory. He didn't know what it was, but something in his gut told him that bringing Rory over would make things worse. Seeing how much she had freaked out about where Rory was and making sure she was safe – he couldn't put a finger on it, but there was something in this memory that was too painful for Rory to come.

But something had to be done.

He had no ideas. He had sat in silence. He had talked to her. Nothing seemed to change anything.

Until.

"Michel, look" he heard Sooki say, "Its snowing outside."

Then he heard Michel, "She's missing the snow."

And he knew what he had to do. He opened the door to the office, and called out, "Get me a big blanket, Sookie. And Michel, find me a hat."

The smart ass Frenchman retorted, "Don't you have a hat on already?"

All he had to do was growl, "Michel!" And he was on it.

Sooki handed him a handmade quilt. It felt heavy and warm. "What are you going to do?" She asked. He didn't have the energy to answer her.

This was the first time touching Lorelai since she went into her memory. He knew it wasn't going to be pretty, but he knew he had to do something. He covered her in the blanket. And she didn't react at all. She didn't even move when he placed the snow hat over her head. But as he reached down and scooped her up in his arms, she started to thrash.

Kicking. And hitting. She was covered in the blanket, but she could still nail some punches. But he just kept going. He navigated them out of the office. She was yelling now.

Breaking his heart.

"Let me go, you animal. Let me go. Untie me."

All he could say was, "Shhh… Lorelai, it's me, Luke."

"Don't touch me. Don't cut me again. I won't let you tie me up again."

He reached the door to the inn, the one that led outside to the porch and the world. Sookie opened it. Luke could tell the look on her face was one of sadness and horror at what she was hearing her best friend cry and scream. "You're hurting me. Don't let them touch me. Don't leave me alone with them."

He just continued to walk.

"Lorelai, I need you to open your eyes."

"Chris, I'm your wife. You're going to let them rape me? Please stop. Make it stop. Make them stop."

She screamed as tears poured out of her eyes.

They were now standing outside.

And the snow began to touch her cheeks.

Her tears melted them immediately.

She didn't stop crying.

But she did stop thrashing and hitting him.

"Please stop. Please stop. Please."

Her voice was only a whisper now. Her eyes were opened. And she was staring up into the dark night as the snow fell on her face. And her hair.

He just held her there. The snow gathering on the blanket.

Snowflakes caught her eyelashes, and Luke was amazed at how wonderfully beautiful she was.

And he felt her eventually stop shaking.

And she turned from staring up at the snow. And she found his eyes.

And her icy blue eyes held his, seeming to hold him captive in their beauty and pain.

She said the first words in the real world for two days. "You didn't leave me."

He just shook his head. And said, "I am not going to leave you."

Gazing back up at the snow, she said, "It's so magical."

He looked down at her, taking in her beauty and the fact aht she was back with him. That she had survived her trip to the past. He realizes just how scared he had been that she wouldn't come back – that she would have lived the rest of her life laying there on the floor of the office unable to come back into reality. He knew it wasn't over – he knew that there was nothing about the rest of the journey that was going to be easy. But she was back for now.

She just repeated, in a breathy whisper, "It's so magical."

And he didn't have to look up at the snow to mutter, "You sure are."


	33. Chapter 33

I can tell that there are people reading this - please comment - tell me if you were crying at the end of the last chapter too - please let me know - writing through the night is hard - i need some encouragement


	34. Chapter 34

Rory sat in the room. All alone. Waiting for him.

She had found out from Sooki the news that was rocking her mother's world. Sooki couldn't keep something like this from her. And Sooki had told her that Luke hadn't wanted to call her and tell her that her mother wasn't doing well.

And Rory trusted that Luke knew what he was talking about. He knew what her mother needed more than she did.

But Rory knew what she herself needed.

And as she sat in the room, only a table separating the empty chair from where she was sitting, she knew this was what she needed.

The door opened. She didn't even look up.

They sat him down – his orange jumpsuit louder than the chains on his feet and the handcuffs on his wrists when he set them on the table.

The officer went over some rules. But Rory wasn't listening.

She was just staring into his eyes.

Sitting there wondering who the hell was sitting in front of her.

"Rory."

He said her name.

She felt nothing.

She still couldn't say anything. She just looked into his eyes, hardened, resolved, and menacing – but patronizing – he thought he could talk her out of her anger. She knew before he opened his mouth again.

"Rory, let me explain."

She just sat there. Wondering what on earth he could possibly think was going to make sense of anything that had happened.

"I know you're angry with me. And I know I messed up. But im still your dad. And I still want to be involved in your life."

She just laughed.

He seemed taken aback. "What? I really mean it."

She continued laughing.

And then she said, "That's literally the speech I heard every time you decided to come back into my life after you had deserted or flaked out on us."

"No, I mean it now…"

"Oh, like hell you do." She said, bitterness and anger beginning to overtake her. "I didn't come here to hear you say how sorry you were, or how you are going to try harder."

Anger was in his eyes too. "Then why did you come?"

"Because I had to look you in the face and tell you to fuck off."

"I'm your father, Rory. You can't talk to me like that."

She didn't skip a beat when she said it again, "You are such a dick. I want you to know that when you die in prison, I hope its horrible and long and is painful – and with every pain you feel – that you feel the pain you caused Mom."

At the sound of her talking about her mother, he said, "She deserved everything that happened to her, that …"

"Oh, I wasn't finished."

He interrupted her, "You don't get to interrupt me, young lady."

"Oh really?" Rory said, "I think I just fucking did."

He slammed the handcuffs on the table, and the guard issued a warning for him to settled down. "I don't know why you came if you don't want to talk with me."

And she said, "Oh, I didn't come to talk with you. I came to talk at you." He opened his mouth but she threw him the finger, and said, "I really am thinking about you everyday you're in here. I really want to get the call that you were killed by a rapist in your cell. That you were stabbed to death with a blunt object."

She was getting loud, but the guard didn't say anything to her. And she stood up and walked over to the door, and the last thing she said that she meant with all her heart was said as she glared into his eyes, "I would tell you to go to hell, but hell is too good for you."

And she gave him the finger and walked out of the door.

She drove back to campus. And she didn't even cry. She was too angry.

She parked her car, and walked over to her second favorite place on campus. She knocked on the door.

He answered.

"Rory, you look awful."

And she fell into his arms and said, "I feel awful, Logan."


	35. Chapter 35

**This is my take on Rory and Logan - i have the writers freedom**

Rory couldn't sleep.

She just lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

But she was seeing his face again.

His face that lied to her. He said he wanted to have a relationship with her. He said that he still wanted to be involved in her life.

From prison.

She remembered the first time he had come to Stars Hollow. On his motorcycle. He had promised he would be more involved in her life – and she was so willing to forgive him for not being there in the past, because he was there now – and he was trying. And she desperately wanted to have a father. She wanted her mother and father to be together. He had made her happy when they were together.

And she hadn't been so excited when her parents got together in France, only because her mother had forgotten to tell her. But the fact that they were together was something she was so excited about. She had been so happy.

She turned to her side, wishing she could go back to the days when things were so much simpler.

Her tossing and turning woke her bed partner.

"Ace, are you still awake?" Logan mumbled. He wrapped his arm around her, and she let him pull her close, thankful to have the feeling of someone else there with her.

They had been dating for almost a month – they met in their first class at Yale, and he had become her one constant in life – especially because she couldn't rely on her mom anymore. She hadn't been to her dorm room for almost 3 weeks. She pretty much just lived with him – and she was fine with that.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." She said

He sat up in bed, and turned on the light in the dark apartment. "Are you ok?" When he saw her face, he knew what it was. "Is it your dad again?"

She sat up against the headboard and nodded. "I just can't get him out of my head."

And she started to cry.

Pulling her close to his chest, he just held her, and said, "You know thinking about it isn't going to make it any better, right?"

She knew that.

And she didn't want to cry. She didn't want to sit and think about it. She didn't want her life to be under his mind control.

She got up, and walked over to the kitchen cabinet.

"Ace, what are you doing?"

She pulled out the bottle of scotch from the back of the cabinet. "I'm just going to try and get to sleep." She grabbed a tumbler, then asked him, "Do you want any?"

"No, I can sleep."

She brought the bottle and tumbler over to the bed, poured herself a cup, and got back into bed. She took a swig of the stuff – in all honesty, she wasn't a fan of drinking. But she had drunk before. At all the parties Logan, Colin, and Finn frequented.

But this was the first time she wanted to use alcohol to help her forget.

And it burned all the way down her throat. She grimaced as she tried to get the taste out of her mouth. Logan laughed at her. And she just took another swig, trying to get as much down before she started coughing.

"Slow down there, Ace. It's not going anywhere."

He laid back down and went to sleep – and she sat there in the darkness, waiting for the numbness to start. Waiting for his face to leave her. Waiting for the guilt that she never could get off of her mind – she was waiting for that to leave her. And she drank two more tumblers full before she started to feel it. And she settled back against her pillow – waiting for her hopefully dreamless sleep to start.


	36. Chapter 36

**Some notes about this chapter.**

 **1\. I am not a lawyer - I like to write. I don't want to research the justice system - so this is my take on it - I'm sure I messed some things up - but I really wanted to get it written.**

 **2\. I am sorry for those who want Emily and Richard to reconcile with Lorelai right away - its gonna take some time/if it happens :)**

 **3\. Thanks so much for the reviews - and just to the guest who commented so sweetly on chapter 34 - thanks for you kind words - these words here in this story are very near and dear to my heart - because recovery doesn't come easy. So why do our stories somehow make it seem like it does.**

 **4\. Please review - this one was different to write - writing a scene where people are angry and emotions are so up in the air - this was tough - please let me know how i did :)**

She couldn't get out of the truck.

"I'm right here, Lorelai." Luke assured her.

They were in the driveway of the lawyer's office.

But she could see her father's car. She knew he was going to be here.

And she couldn't see him. She just couldn't.

"Lorelai, just look at me."

This was their new thing. Their new way of coping together. It helped bring her out of her mind – her mind that seemed to control everything about her.

She met his eyes. His eyes that held such confidence and strength – all of the things that she was lacking. She took a deep breath.

"I'm going in there with you. We just have to get the information about the trial." He reassured her; his voice was calm. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to right now."

She just nodded, truning away from him to open the door. She stepped out, and let him lead her into the office – he talked to the receptionist, and the lawyer wanted to see them right away.

They walked into the room, the completely legal office – furniture everywhere, all in some tone of brown – a fake plant in the corner – just the typical type of office you would suspect from a professional lawyer's office.

She took a deep breath. She could see her father sitting there. He turned around.

And she looked down. She couldn't bear to see the disappointment and hatred she had seen before from him. She just looked at Luke, who led her to a chair opposite of her father, right in front of the lawyer, who offered his hand to shake. And she just smiled at him, but didn't shake his hand. _No extra physical touch._ He motioned for her to sit.

"Thanks so much Mrs. Hayden…"

She inhaled deeply, then immediately said, "Gilmore."

The lawyer looked confused.

"I kept my maiden name."

Nodding his head, he apologized and pulled out a file that looked to be rather large. And he started talking.

"I am here to answer any questions you have about the trial." He said. She reached for Luke's hand, wrapping her thin fingers through his muscular fingers. She felt secure there.

"The date for the pretrial is scheduled for two weeks from now. That will determine what he is going to plead – whether he will plead guilty or not guilty."

She heard her father's voice – and jumped a bit. Luke just squeezed her hand trying to comfort her. "What do you think he will do? I mean, we all know we have evidence…"

 _The evidence was her._ She just kept thinking about how Luke was holding her hand.

"Well." The lawyer answered, "Well, if he pleads guilty, he is spared the trial and then we go to plea agreements. If he pleads not guilty, the case will go to trial, where he will be tried in front of a jury."

Luke's voice echoed around the room. "So the only way that she will have to testify is if he pleads not guilty?"

 _She couldn't think about that yet – she couldn't think of getting up in front of people – in front of – him – and putting her memories into words._

The lawyer spoke. "That would be the only time she would have to get up and publically give her testimony. With a plea bargain, she and I would meet with him and his lawyer and a judge and she would have to give her testimony in that context."

 _None of those options sounded like something she wanted to do._ She spoke. "So no matter what, I will have to…" She could barely get it out. "I will have to talk about it with him there?"

The lawyer nodded. "Unfortunately, because the nature of the accusation – that it wasn't just a one time occurrence – he is being charged on multiple levels – rape…" _She looked down at her hands, pulled her hand away from Luke, and started fiddling with her fingers._ "… coersive captivation, and assault." He paused, and she knew that she looked like a completely lunatic. She now crossed her arms in front of her, looked down at her lap, and just tried to keep from crying and letting the memories overtake her. "Because of this, we can't use the protection of the victim to keep you secluded from everything in the trial."

 _I have to see him again._ Her mind started screaming. She felt Luke's hand on her back. But she wasn't comforted.

And her father's voice again echoed, "What is he looking like if we win the trial?"

She wanted to laugh. _Win? What part of this was considered winning? There was nothing about this that felt like a game – a gamble – this just felt like hell was surrounding her._

"Maximum penalty, he will get life in prison." He said. Then he looked at Lorelai, who was waiting for this – what would happen? "Minimum, he would get 5 years in prison with a chance of parole for good behavior."

 _Five years?_ Lorelai thought. _No. Only five years? After everything?_

She heard her father's voice again. "Well we just have to make sure we have enough to send him away for life."

Her mind was swimming with the thought that in five years he could be out on the streets. He could be out there hurting people.

And she didn't think before she said. "Well there's a change of heart, Dad." The room suddenly quieted down. She felt Luke tense next to her, and the lawyer cleared his throat. But she continued, still refusing to look at him, but she finished, "The man who didn't even want him to spend a few hours in jail now wants him away for life." Her words were icy and cold. No anger. Just. Chilling.

"Lorelai…"

She couldn't sit here with him anymore. She looked at Luke, and said, "Im going to wait in the truck." She grabbed her purse from the floor and stood up, turning her back to the man she used to think of as her father.

She heard him stand up to follow her out. She just told Luke, "Don't let him near me." And she walked out.

She walked to the truck, pulling her coat closer to her body to keep her warm. She wasn't sure if she was cold because of the temperature outside, or because of how absolutely uncomfortable she was. She climbed into the cab of the truck, closed the door, and locked both doors.

And she curled up on the seat of the cab.

 _He called me horrible names._ She thought. _How can he just act like nothing happened?_ She didn't cry. She didn't start to shake. She didn't start to meltdown at all. She just comforted herself.

She didn't know how long it was until Luke came out and unlocked the driver's side door, and she sat up. She could see concern on his face, but he also showed surprise that she wasn't completely going insane after being in the same room with her father.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked her.

She just shrugged as he pulled out onto the highway on the way back to Stars Hollow. "I just couldn't be in there with him."

Luke nodded.

"What was he doing there anyway? What part of this involves him? This is my fight against Chris, right?" She shuddered as his name rolled off of her tongue.

"He hired the lawyer."

She rolled her eyes. "What?"

Luke was focused on driving. So she didn't have to worry about making eye contact with him. "He wants to…" he paused, like he wanted to find the right word, "… fix this."

Now she was angry. Angry was something she hadn't been in a long time. She had felt helpless more than she ever wanted to feel again. She had felt alone so many times. She had experienced terror like nothing else in her life.

But now it was her turn to be angry.

"Fix it? Fix what?" She wasn't yelling at Luke. "He broke it. He made the mess."

 _"Your father went to bail Christopher out of jail."_ She remembered her mother's words from the hospital.

"Luke, take me to my parent's house." She said, anger flooding her veins.

He shook his head, "Lorelai, you don't need to fight any battles right now. You just…"

"Luke. Take me now or I'll just get in my jeep and go when we get home." Stubbornness coming to her aid. When he continued on the highway, she just looked at him and said, "I mean it, Luke. And I'll go without you if I go when we get home. You don't want me going there alone do you?"

He pulled the truck over to the side of the road. "Lorelai" He looked at her. And not just looked at her. But she could feel him studying her face – his eyes searching for something – searching for uncertainty.

But there was none there.

"Luke, I have to do this. I can't just let him buy me a lawyer to try and make up for what he put me through…" She was angry and it didn't scare her thinking about it – it just incensed her even more. "He can't buy me off. He can't clear his conscience with money. They did that my whole life."

And with that, Luke put the car into drive, did a u-turn, and they were flying back to Hartford to her parent's house.

She just let her thoughts meld and solidify with anger and resentment toward her parents. When they pulled into the driveway, she went to get out of the truck, but Luke said, "are you sure you want to do this now?"

"I'm sure."

And with that she found herself at the door. And she put her finger on the doorbell – and held it down. She could hear incessant buzzing and ringing in the house. She held it there.

She knew Luke wanted her to stop – but this was for her.

Anger built up as she remembered the last night she had been here at this house.

The maid opened the door – a frantic look on her face. "Can I…"

Lorelai just marched right in, and started shouting, "I know you're here. Get the hell out here."

She heard Luke apologizing to the maid behind her. But she just walked into the living room. It was empty. But she kept yelling. "I get crazier the longer you leave me…"

Emily came down the stairs faster than Lorelai had ever seen her. She was dressed like she was supposed to go to some function. Her eyes were wide, and she opened her mouth to say something, but Lorelai wasn't done yet. "Where is he?"

"Who?" Emily asked, yelling right back, but yelling out of confusion.

"Dad, who else?" She angry marched through the foyer, past poor, uncomfortable Luke, who attempted to say something to her but she flew past. "Are you too scared to face an angry daughter, dad?"

He came flustered out of his office, his tie loose. "Lorelai?"

It was the first time she had faced him since that night.

She stood there in the doorway of his study. Facing him.

"Do you remember what you did?"

Emily came up behind her, "What is going on? What are we yelling about?"

Lorelai ignored her. And she asked again. Well, she yelled again. "Do you remember?"

He hesitated. Then said, "I do."

A sarcastic look came to her face, and she said, "Oh, really? Do you?"

Confusion. "I thought I did…"

She pointed into the study behind him. "You stood there and yelled at me."

"When?" Emily asked, well, accusingly yelled.

She turned to her mother, and said, "Shut up."

Her father interrupted her, "Lorelai, that is your mother…"

Emily gasped. Lorelai had goaded her mother into an angry frenzy too. "How dare you tell me to…"

"Can't you just stop and listen for ONCE!" Lorelai interrupted. Her hands were shaking. Not because she was afraid. But because she was so angry.

"Lorelai." Her father barked, and she turned her fury back to him.

"Don't tell me to stop, Dad! I was forced to listen to you that night." His face was still defensive, but she could tell he was thinking back to that night.

"I guess you do remember." She said.

And he just nodded.

She pushed past him, and she pointed. "You stood right there. I was right here."

He looked at the floor. "Are you fucking embarrassed?" He looked up, surprised at her language. But she didn't stop. "Are you embarrassed that you stood there and called me all kinds of names?"

"Your father wouldn't do that." Emily yelled.

She quieted her voice. And glared at her father.

"Prostitute."

"Hooker."

"Cheating wife."

His face was red. He couldn't look at her.

Her voice escalated again. "You called me these names. You said horrible things about the way I was dressed. You accused me of using my body to get what I wanted."

"What are you talking about?"

Lorelai turned to her mother. "The night of the party. Dad pulled me into his office and said all of these things."

Emily just looked at her. And then she said, "Well, you were all of those things."

"Of course that's what you thought." Lorelai wasn't even surprised. She knew her parents would never try and see it from her point of view. Even after everything that had been found out later that night that Chris was doing to her. "You couldn't think the best of your daughter just once."

"You looked like you had just gotten off of the street corner." Emily yelled back at her. "I was so embarrassed to have to tell people that you were my daughter."

And her father now raised his voice louder than it had been. "Emily. That is enough."

"Richard!" Her mother said, unable to believe that she would be talked to like that by her husband.

"No, Emily." He said. "You don't know even the half of it."

Lorelai just stood there. Still angry. Still so hurt. But also confused.

Her mother's eyes were aflame – angry at her father. "What don't I know?"

"You haven't even told Mom?" Lorelai exclaimed.

He looked at her. Right in the eyes, and he asked, "How do you even put it into words? How do you tell your wife that you were the cause of …"

Lorelai just said. In her icy voice. Without yelling. "Say it."

They both looked at her.

"Say it." Lorelai repeated. "It makes it real. It brings your life to a halt. Saying what really happened brings the horror into your life."

This was hurting him.

And she didn't feel bad.

He opened his mouth and said, "Emily. We bailed Chris out."

"Of course we did. We didn't know the whole…"

"No, Emily. Listen."

The room was silent as he tried to form the words that had been Lorelai's reality. Her unescapable reality.

"Christopher was…" his voice cracked. "He was abusing Lorelai."

"Is that what you think, dad?" She whispered.

Her father's eyes flew to hers. Fear gripped his face. "What do you mean?"

Anger nipped at the words she could barely say. But she said it. Because she knew they needed to know how they had been instrumental in her demise. "He raped me."

Her mother gasped and sank into the office chair.

But that wasn't enough. She held her father's gaze. "He made me wear that dress. He made me flirt with those men…" _She couldn't voice everything. But she did address everything they had blamed her for that night._ "If I didn't do what he wanted me to do, like that night at the party, he would…" she paused, and chose her words carefully, unwilling to expose her raw feelings to her parents. "he would beat me."

Her father's face was as white as a ghost.

Her mother had her head in her hands.

And no one said anything.

She looked over to the doorway of the study. Luke was standing there. And he knew this was nothing compared to what she really had suffered. And hse knew this was the end. She was done being angry. She was done.

"Don't blame me for that night." She said. They still couldn't look at her. And then she said what she wanted to say when she stormed in that door earlier. "Dad, I will pay for my own lawyer. Stay out of my life. Don't use your money to buy a clear conscience."

And with that she was done. She walked out of the study. Out of the house. Out of their lives.


	37. Chapter 37

"How the hell could you keep this from me, Richard?" Emily said, her voice still completely stunned. Her body, immobile on the chair where she had fallen when Lorelai had told them. She couldn't even look at her husband.

 _The hurt in her eyes._ Emily teared up at the thought. _Her anger was just covering for her pain._

When her husband didn't respond, she looked up at him, to find him sitting at his desk, his head in his hands.

"Richard." Emily demanded he at least give her the respect to look her in the eye.

He looked up, his eyes red from crying. He just shook his head. _There are no words. Ever._

Suddenly the response that Lorelai had given her that day on the porch – Emily cringed at how absolutely insensitive she had been. _But I didn't know._

Richard's voice startled her. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"With your words, Richard." Emily was angry. She had told her daughter off, she had been uncaring. She had wounded her child. "With the words you used to tell me that we need to find a new gardener, or that the Huntzbergers are having a dinner party next week – that's how you tell me."

She was standing in front of his desk. He just stared at her.

"I couldn't even go and see her. I didn't understand why she was so angry. When I asked you about it that night, you told me that she blamed us for the divorce. For the separation from Chris."

 _Reality hit her._ "There was never a divorce, was there?"

"No." He cleared his throat. "I found him with her."

 _What?_ Her brain couldn't process all of this. "What does that even mean."

Richard took a deep breath. "He was keeping her there against her will." Emily cringed. "He was going to kill her."

Tears flowed down her face.

"We got there just in time."

Emily was confused. "Who?"

"Luke put the pieces together before I did." He told her. "We went over there, and found her…" He closed his eyes, as if he was seeing a horrible picture in his mind. "He had her tied to the bed."

Emily covered her mouth in absolute and utter heartbreak. "No."

Richard just continued. "She was tied there. She was barely breathing. She was bleeding. Blood was everywhere."

 _Oh, Lorelai._ Emily grieved. _Lorelai. I had just seen you that night. What if that was the last time I would have seen you? What if…_

"He had something wrapped around her throat." Richard said. And then he looked up at her, meeting her eyes, "He had a knife. He was going to kill her."

The anger in his eyes was all too real. "I… shot Christopher."

She didn't know what to say. Her husband had known all of this, all of this about her daughter. All of this about what happened that night. He had shot someone for goodness sake – "and you didn't think to tell me?"

"He didn't die." He said, ignoring her question. "We met with the lawyer today."

Now she protested, "No, you can't just brush over the fact that you didn't tell me."

He looked so defeated. "Emily, I can't right now. I can't argue anymore."

And she only said two words, "You bastard."

And she left him there. Left him there with the alcohol. Left him there in the dark study. And she went to bed. She went to her bed and cried herself to sleep – wanting to help comfort her daughter, but knowing her daughter hated her. Knowing that she had pushed for them to be together. And knowing her daughter would never forgive her. And knowing her husband hadn't thought her important enough to tell these things to.


	38. Chapter 38

"I can't believe you didn't tell me."

She threw her purse down on the couch and turned to face Luke in the entry way of her house. She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I didn't think you could handle it." Luke said, just a little bit of edge to his voice.

She turned away to walk into the kitchen. She really didn't want to fight with him right now. She was tired. She just wanted to collapse on the couch and fall asleep. But she threw her keys on the table by the phone, and said, "But just because you don't think I can handle it doesn't mean you can keep information from me."

He followed her into the kitchen. "Lorelai, I was afraid of what you were going to do just telling you the news. Imagine me having lead with the line, 'Your father came by today.'"

She ran her hand through her hair. And she knew she was overreacting. She knew she was just feeling some sort of adrenaline rush from screaming and yelling at her parents. And she knew it wasn't his fault.

"Luke, you can't keep me away from life." She knew that hadn't come out like what she meant, so she tried again, "I mean, I'm never going to be able to heal if I'm being sheltered all the time."

He nodded his head. "I know. I really do." Then he added, "But you have no idea how scary it is to watch you fade into another world inside of your head. I just don't want anything to hurt you."

She grimaced. And then said, "I have no idea how scary?" She tried to keep the sarcasm from her voice. It snarled a bit when she said, "Try living in both worlds."

"You know that's not what I…"

"I know you didn't mean it. And I understand that its hard to watch. But its even harder to experience the world where you have no control over what you're going to see, going to feel, going to remember." She was talking fast. She was just trying to help him understand. "But imagine coming out of that world, and entering a world where someone isn't being open and upfront about what really is happening in this world."

 _I hope he understands where I'm coming from._ "I have to know these things, Luke. I have to know that you'll tell me it was my father that came down to the diner and told about Chris." Luke turned away at the sound of his name. "I have to know that Sooki calls you to ask if it's ok if she calls me with questions about the Inn."

He looked up right away. Like he had been caught. "How did you find…"

She pointed at the phone on his hip, and said, "Really should consider getting a password for your voicemail, mister." He just cringed. She continued. "Hell, even Rory calls you and asks how I'm doing instead of calling and asking me." And she just sent him a pleading look. "You have to let me live, Luke. You can't protect me from everything."

"I know." He said. Then added, "I just don't want you to get hurt anymore than you already are." He sounded so genuine. And so afraid. Afraid she was going to be hurt.

And she lost all little agitation at him. And she reached out to him, and he opened his arms and embraced her in his strong hug.

After a few minutes, she looked up into his eyes, and told him, "Now, you need to go home."

He started to protest. But she just put her finger on his lips to quiet him. The little bit of touch on her finger silenced the both of them. _What am I doing?_

Then she remembered she had to say something. "I know you have inventory tomorrow."

"I do. But I can stay here with you and leave in the morning."

She just pulled away and playfully shoved him toward the door. "If you wake me up again at 4:30 one more time, I'm going to be even more irritating than normal."

She could sense the reluctance that he had to leaving her here alone. She said, "I promise if I need anything, I'll call you."

And he turned around and made sure she was paying attention when he added, "even if you just have to talk." And she nodded, and sent him on his way.

His truck started up in the driveway. And she listened as it drove off, and she imagined it going around the bend, around the town square, and into the parking spot in front of Luke's.

Once she was sure he was gone, she grabbed the keys to the jeep, her purse, and headed out of the door.


	39. Chapter 39

"Rory, let's go." Logan urged.

But he wasn't sure Rory could even hear him. She was too focused.

On the wall.

He reached over and shook her, wanting to get her attention. Sure, it had been a hard party night. He had lost track of how many parties they had hit after the third one. Finn was at his best – drunk as hell. And Colin was in search of his soulmate for the evening.

She looked up at him, and he could tell she was so drunk. She smiled a crazy smile at him, and then said, "I want something new."

He grabbed her coat from the seat beside her, and held it up to her. "Oh yeah, Ace? What do you want?"

She just looked at the coat like it was a brand new object and like she had no idea what to do with it.

"You put your arms in it." Logan said, then rolled his eyes as she stretched both of her arms out. "Okay, Ace, no more alcohol for you." He helped her to her feet, holding her up while he put her coat on her.

Her words were slurred as she turned around to face him, her blue eyes glazed over. "I don't need any more drinks." And she reached into her pocket, and pulled out a tiny plastic bag.

His face fell. "Where did you get that?"

"Oh Logan," She said, concerned at hs lack of enthusiasm. "It's just a little weed."

He reached for it, but she pulled it out of his reach, and said, "Hey, I paid for this. Wait your turn, mister."

He just had to get her out of this loud, crazy party. He needed to get her some coffee and get her to bed to sleep off the excess of her party night. "Let's go home, Rory."

They walked to the car – well, he walked, she stumbled and would have fallen quite a few times if he hadn't been there to catch her. He got her herded to the car, buckled into the passenger seat, walked around to the driver's side of the car.

He opened the door, and he was greeted with a not-so-unfamiliar scent. "Rory, put that out."

She had her eyes closed as she inhaled. And smoke filled the car when she exhaled. "This helps so much."

Getting in the car, he reached for the joint, but she pulled it away from him.

"Stop, Logan." She said, defensive. He watched her eyes glaze over even more. "I'm an adult. Let me do what I want to."

He started the car, and then looked over at her and said, "Rory, what are you doing?"

She put the cigarette to her mouth yet again, and then said, "What do you mean? I'm just having fun. Isn't that what college is all about?"

He knew there was no point talking to her when she was in the state she was in. She wasn't going to remember anything he said – actually, she probably wouldn't hear what he said at the moment.

She just reclined the seat back, finished off the joint, and smiled up at him.

He thought about it all the way home. He tried to remember a night this week that she hadn't been drinking or drunk. In fact, he couldn't remember a night for a while that she had been sober. Something had to be done. _But what?_

He knew he had set her on this path – he knew all the great party spots. All the great places that would accept her fake identification. After all, he had thought, this is college. After this, the real life took over. So why not live it up while that was expected?

But, as he looked at his drunk and high girlfriend reclining beside him, he wondered if he had ruined her. Or if her past had ruined her. But most of all he wondered whether he would be able to fix it. And listening to her mutter something made him really wonder.

"Who needs school or a career. This is the life."


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: I had to change some more timetable things. I had to change the scene where Lorelai sang karaoke to before the first fight Christopher and Lorelai had – so they are still married in that scene. And then the fistfight Chris and Luke had comes after that.**

"What do you mean she didn't show up?" Luke shouted into the phone. "Sooki, I just assumed she went to the Inn early this morning before I got there."

The frantic voice on the other end of the phone made almost no sense to Luke other than to tell him that Lorelai wasn't there. "She didn't come in. I mean I was here at 5:30, because the bread was having…"

"Sooki, you need to focus."

"Sorry." And then he heard her yell, "Michel, is Lorelai's jeep in the parking lot?" Pause, something rude being said, and then she said, "Luke she's not here."

Now it was his turn to start freaking out. He hung up without saying goodbye. Then he dialed the next number he was certain would have some idea of where Lorelai might be.

"Hello?" A groggy voice whispered into the phone.

"Rory, have you heard from your mother this morning at all?"

"Ow, Luke, you don't have to scream into the phone, man." _Who on earth? It was Rory's voice. But not her… well, vernacular._ "But, no, I haven't heard from her."

"If she calls you, will you call me right away?" He said.

"Sure thing." And then a concerned tone. "Is she ok?"

He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to alarm her, take her mind off of her studies. Lorelai would be so mad if she knew he had called Rory. But he tried to keep his voice positive.

"Yeah, she's fine. Don't worry." He lied. "She must just have overslept. Sooki was just wondering if she had gone to see you instead of coming in to work." _There's no way she's going to believe that. I sure wouldn't._

But the groggy voice on the other end of the phone surprised him, "Oh, well tell Sooki not to worry. Probably that stupid alarm clock she has."

He didn't have time to sit and analyze the weird response. He said goodbye, and his mind was already on the problem at hand. _Where the hell did you go, Lorelai?_

It was the one thing she knew would help her clear her head. The one way she could get away from everything. The one way she knew had worked in the past to separate her from the overwhelming emotions that existed in her life.

But this time she knew where she was going.

Her hands gripped the wheel. She blasted Metallica on the stereo system. The windows were down. The cold air hitting her right in the face. Her cheeks tingling from the cold.

And she sped through the night.

Down the dark back roads.

She didn't look at her speedometer. She didn't watch for other cars on the road. She just drove faster and faster.

It was as if a demon was behind her. She couldn't slow down. She couldn't let her mind think.

She knew she was running. Running away from everything. Running from the memories. Running from the responsibilities back home. Running from her feelings. Running.

And she ran right into the morning. The sun.

But this roadtrip was different.

It was different because she had a destination.

She was so tired. So exhausted from the drive. From the hours and hours of running.

She pulled into the driveway. Ripping the keys out of the exhaust, she stumbled out of the car, her entire body just like an icicle. And hse pulled her coat closer to her as she ran to the front door of the house.

And she knocked.

Once.

And she waited.

The door opened.

A surprised voice. "Lorelai!" Exclaimed her name.

And Lorelai fell into the arms of the woman who had been more of a mother to her than her biological mother had been. The one person who had comforted her when she felt like no one in the world cared for her. She spoke the first words all night – her throat sore from the cold air. "Can I stay here for a while?"

Mia just held her close, and ran her fingers through her hair. And her voice was beautiful as she said, "Of course you can, honey." Lorelai just let herself be held. "However long you need, Lorelai."

"What do you mean you can't put out a missing person report?" Luke yelled at the officer standing in Lorelai's living room. He had finally called them after calling everyone who might know where she was. "It's not like her to just leave.."

The officer just gestured to the room. "Sir, there's no evidence that she was forced to leave her home. We have no reason to believe that there was any foul play here."

Luke's temper flared. "There's no reason for her to leave."

The second officer – Howard – a regular customer in his diner and a presence aroung the town, said, "Her car is gone. Her purse is gone. Her coat is gone. Nothing in the house gives us even the slightest inclination that something happened." Luke tried to interrupt, but the officer continued. "And, Luke, we all know that this isn't the first time she's taken off when things get stressful for her. The wedding she canceled and ran away from?"

But Luke couldn't think that she would have left without telling him. _She needed me. She knows how much I need to know she's safe. She wouldn't …_ He started to doubt himself. But then he remembered the trial. "Howard, there's so much going on with her right now. She's involved in a trial against her ex husband. He could have…"

"Luke, we all know he's in prison right now. There's no way this was him."

 _She wouldn't just …_

The other officer, the one Luke didn't recognize, turned to walk out the door but continued talking, "We will, however, alert the force to keep their eyes open for any signs of her."

Luke knew there was nothing else he could do. He just nodded and walked out to the porch with them.

Howard added as they walked away, "And if you come across any evidence that something might have happened, give us a call and we'll come out again."

Watching them drive away, he sat down on the porch steps and stared out into the yard. _Lorelai, why would you leave me like this? Please don't have run away._ But he went back to their argument about how he was too controlling in her life. _You wouldn't have run just because of that, would you?_ And he didn't know what he wanted. He hoped that nothing had happened – that she wasn't in any danger. He couldn't stand the thought of her being hurt anymore. But he didn't want to think that she had left on her own – because he couldn't stand the thought that she would leave without telling him…

His mind went back. Went back to her up there, singing.

 _He walked into the bar that night, the voice of an angel in the air._

 _She was breathtaking. The lights behind her, the neon lights – they seemed to echo her beauty._

 _He could tell she was flustered when he walked in. She stumbled with the words, looking at the screen, even though he knew she had this song memorized – it was one of her favorite ones – he remembered from the time they were together. Her singing got just a bit more breathy – but everytime she looked up from the screen, her eyes met his._

 _Her beautiful eyes of blue._

 _And there were tears in her eyes._

 _He remembered he couldn't look away either. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable. But he felt there was something she was trying to say to him._

 _"I will always love you."_

 _She didn't look away – he didn't look away. He could tell when she was acting – when she was putting on a production._

 _And this wasn't even close to being a production – this was genuine._

 _But he had thought he must be wanting to read into this._

 _Because sitting right there next to Rory was Christopher – Lorelai's husband._

 _She wasn't Luke's anymore – and maybe this was her saying goodbye._

 _He could feel the entire bar looking from her to him – he could feel their stares. But he just kept staring at the visage of beauty – Lorelai – right in front of him._

 _She finished, and he wished she had never finished – because that meant that he didn't have a reason or cause to stare at her and drink in as much of her as he could. She sheepishly made her way back down to the table where Rory congratulated her for her bravery._

 _Everyone was clapping._

 _Except for Christopher._

 _Luke took a sip of his beer, and watched the couple in front of him. He watched Chris lean over and put his hand on Lorelai's shoulder. He leaned in to whisper something in her ear. Her face looked confused. And Rory seemed – well, apprehensive._

 _But Luke just watched._

 _Chris stood up and put his coat on. He said something to Lorelai. And she just shook her head and said something back._

 _Luke watched as Christopher's hands clenched into fists, his face getting red. His voice must have increased because Luke heard him say, "I want to leave."_

 _And Lorelai said, "Then leave. I'll see you at home when we're finished." Her face was stone cold – and stubborn. Something Luke had come to recognize many times. There wasn't anything anyone could do to make her do something she didn't want to do. That was part of her charm._

 _Luke's hands started to shake as he watched Chris again lean down to her. And Luke watched her flinch. And fear – it crept to her face as Chris said something to her that was too quiet for Luke to overhear._

 _He must have imagined it. Lorelai wasn't afraid of anything._

 _But he couldn't shake it. She had looked almost scared. No matter how he tried to get it out of his head, he couldn't stop seeing her pull away from her husband and flinch._

 _He watched Chris leave the bar in an angry huff. Luke turned to the bar, pulled out enough money for the beer and a tip, and then he followed Christopher out of the bar._

 _And he didn't know what to say._

 _"She has a lovely voice." He called out to the man walking away from him. They were in the middle of the town square – it was deserted – but they were there._

 _Christopher whirled around, his face fuming. "What the hell did you say?"_

 _Luke hadn't called this wrong. Christopher was angry. Very angry. And that made him mad too. "I said she's got a lovely voice."_

 _"You motherfucking son of a bitch." Chris yelled. "I know what you're trying to do."_

 _Luke sarcastically threw his hands up in the air and said, "Oh, really? Then tell me – what the hell am I up to?" Chris started walking toward him._

 _"You don't think I can't see how much you want her back?" Luke inhaled quickly, wondering if it was that obvious. Chris continued, "Holding that baby together. Staring at her through your fucking diner window."_

 _Luke laughed at him. "Really? That's all you've got? I don't think that those count as real flirting moments in real life."_

 _He could tell he had made Chris feel like a lesser man._

 _But it was Luke's turn. "In all reality, you're the one who fucked my fiancé first. You're the one who used her vulnerability to your advantage. If we're going to talk about cheating with someone, I'm pretty sure you're the fucking problem." He voiced words he hadn't been able to for a long time._

 _Chris pulled his coat off. And stormed towards Luke._

 _And Luke welcomed his advances. This was the time he was able to finally throw his feelings around. Punches were thrown, wrestling each other to the ground, shoving each other – they both violently fought._

 _Once they were both exhausted, barely able to stand, Chris spoke the first words of parting. "Stay the hell away from my wife." Luke just turned and walked away, not giving him the satisfaction of returning the anger. But it hurt his heart when Chris called Lorelai his wife. "She's mine. Forever."_


	41. Chapter 41

**41 CHAPTERS - I THINK THIS IS GOING TO GET SOME PEOPLE RILED UP - IT DOES GET A BIT SCARY DOWN TOWARDS THE END - READ WITH CAUTION - AND I have like three more chapters already written - but I'm not posting them until I get some more insightful reviews - come on, I'm writing so much here - give me something :)**

Lorelai sat up, her body completely covered in a cold sweat. _Where am I?_ She looked around the room from where she lay on the floor. _Calm down. It's Mia's house._ She remembered her drive. Her unstoppable need to get away and leave her problems behind.

The guest room looked just like she was back at the Independence Inn. The huge poster bed had a handmade quilt on it, a dark red color that complemented the light brown walls of the room. From decorative lamps on the end tables and dresser to exquisite pictures on the walls, Mia had used her experience to make this room a very beautiful room.

She startled at a knock on the door.

"May I come in?" Mia's voice echoed.

"Of course." Lorelai said, her throat still sore from the long, cold drive.

Mia walked into the room, and Lorelai smiled at the sight of the beautiful and dear woman. She didn't look any older – but maybe just a little bit happier. _It must be married life._ Lorelai thought. She was carrying a tray full of steaming food – and Lorelai could smell the coffee.

The look on Mia's face reminded Lorelai that she was still laying on the floor. Mia's eyes went from where she was on the floor to the still made bed – and back to Lorelai's eyes.

Lorelai started to get up, but Mia said, "No, stay there. I'm coming to you."

 _She is the sweetest._

Soon Loreial found herself being offered a wonderfully large cup of hot coffee – Mia sitting against the bed right next to her.

"Oh my, you remembered." Lorelai said as she sipped at the wonderful coffee.

Mia chuckled. "How could I forget, darling? After the time I thought you had gone crazy that one morning the Inn ran out of coffee?" Lorelai found herself smiling at the memory. "I think you asked one of the guests if he could bring you something from Lucas."

 _That did happen. And Luke._ Her heart hurt to think of what he must be thinking. She didn't let her mind stay there.

She knew she would have to address the elephant in the room. She brushed her hair out of her face and looked at Mia, who was searching her face for something – a sign – something to tell her what was wrong. "Mia, thank you for…"

Mia just shook her head. "No, Lorelai. This is your home too. You're family. You don't thank family for letting you stay with them."

Lorelai just replied, "But it means a lot to know I have somewhere to go."

"Here, I made your favorite." Mia handed her a toasted Pop Tart.

She sat there, on the floor, with Mia right beside her – a cup of coffee in one hand and a pop tart in the other – and she whispered, "How are you so perfect?"

They shared a smile, but Mia looked concerned.

"Lorelai," Mia said her name, "Are you in trouble?"

She didn't skip a beat, "Depends on what you define trouble as." She took a sip of the coffee.

Mia reached her hand out to touch her face, and Lorelai instinctively flinched, drips of coffee spilling on her clothes she slept in last night.

"Im sorry." Lorelai said, looking down to find a few drops of coffee had gotten on the carpet. "Do you have a …"

"Leave the carpet, young lady." The motherly tone drew Lorelai's gaze back to Mia's. "Who hurt you?"

Lorelai shook her head in disbelief. "How do you do it? How are you so good at reading me, Mia?" She cringed at the long list of people who had hurt her.

"Years of practice." Was the reply from the woman beside her. "And your face." Lorelai looked up, confusion as she tried to remember what bruises or cuts she had on her face – but she couldn't remember. "Oh, stop." Mia scolded her, "Your face is clean. You just look so…" Lorelai could have finished that sentence with so many words. _Beaten. Hurt. Dead. Depressed. Victimized. Crazy. Psycotic._ But the word Mia used hit her harder than she thought. "Worn."

 _Worn is the best word that described her every move._

Mia continued, "You've survived something. You've been hit by life pretty hard. And you are still her. But it's taken a toll on you, hasn't it?"

 _She can read me like an open book._ Which scared and comforted her at the same time.

She could barely speak as she agreed, "It's been hard."

Mia just nodded. And said, "You been falling out of bed a lot lately?" She asked, gesturing to the blanket and pillow that were on the floor beside her.

"It's becoming too much of a common thing." Lorelai joked. "My chiropractor says I need to get a bed that's a bit closer to the ground."

"I heard you eloped with Christopher."

Lorelai visibly shook at the mention of his name. _Rory must have written to her and mentioned it._ Was the only thing she could think of that explained how Mia knew. She just nodded her head, and said, "In France."

Silence.

Lorelai knew the minute she met Mia's eyes, that Mia would be able to see. See her hurt. See how absolutely broken she felt.

And Mia had tears coming down her face, and she reached out to her. And Lorelai surprised herself when she leaned over, her head in Mia's lap, curled up and crying. "He… he…"

She couldn't put it into words again. "Shhhh… honey it's ok."

Lorelai shook her head, "No, it's not." Blubbering, she just said, "He is in jail. I have to testify. I can't."

Mia just ran her fingers through her hair, comforting just by being there.

Once Lorelai stopped shaking, Mia asked, "Do you have a lawyer."

"My dad hired someone – but I fired him." Lorelai said, wiping her tears away from her face, and then sat up and sarcastically added, "Fired both my dad and the lawyer."

Mia smiled a bit and said, "Well, that does sound like you." And then she said, "Are you… divorced yet?"

"Oh my fucking god." Lorelai exclaimed. "How the hell did I forget about that?" _Sure, you think about having to testify in front of him, but you have waited all this time to separate legally?_ "How can I be this stupid?" _Well, there are a whole lot more things you were more stupid with._

Mia smiled, and then said, "Well, I guess we just found out what we're going to work on today."

"I don't have a lawyer yet, though."

"Oh, I have a great lawyer in mind for you." She said, and then reminded Lorelai, "My husband?"

"I forgot he is a lawyer!" She said. The pressure faded away. "How is it that you can take such good care of me? From me coming to you with a little baby as a 16 year old. Yet here I am, 18 years later, and you're still taking care of me?"

Mia leaned over and kissed the top of her head, and she said, "It's what family does."

Chris had another visitor.

He walked into the room and sneered. "Look who decided to show his face."

Jason.

"What else did you expect?" Jason asked. "Business partners stick together."

Chris' lawyer stepped into the room, and they excused the guard. So they didn't have to talk quietly or in code.

Chris asked, "Did you get rid of the paperwork? All the contracts?"

Jason nodded. "There is no sign that any of them ever existed."

The lawyer, Hugh Godfrey, added, "And all the… clients… involved have been warned, coached, and rewarded for their loyalty."

 _Of course they have. No one would want to talk about what happened. They would go to prison immediately if anyone found out the truth of what happened._

"And… have you found her?" He asked, directing the question to Jason.

"Not yet." Jason said.

Chris anxiously stretched his neck to relieve tension. "She's the most important part of this."

Godfrey chimed in. "We all know that, Chris." He was sweating too. _He is in just as much trouble if she talked as the rest of them._ "We have a private detective looking for her right now."

"Did she leave the country?" Chris asked sarcastically. "She's somewhere in Star's Hollow. She wouldn't leave there." _She's with that bastard, Luke._

Jason spoke again, "Well, she was there. But last night, she disappeared. No one knows where she is."

"Luke knows." Chris said. Until he thought about it again and said, "Unless she went on one of her roadtrips."

Jason nodded in agreement. "That's what we think happened." And added, "We have a tracking device attached to her cell phone. The first time she makes a call from that, we'll know exactly where she is."

Chris just stared him down. "She is the only one who can bring this whole thing crashing down."

"We all know that, Chris." Godfrey said, almost trying to shut him up. "We are going to deal with her."

He asked the question he wanted to ask Jason for as long as he had been in prison. Something his lewd imagination had to know. "How. How are you going to shut her up?"

Jason smiled, taking joy in watching Chris wonder. "Well, I have so many ideas."

"Go on. Tell me."

"Gladly." He said. "I thought maybe just threatening her again with Rory." Chris opened his mouth. But Jason said, "But that seemed too easy and too many things that could go wrong with that. She's been free for a while, so she might realize just how much power she really does hold over us."

"Then I thought about getting her alone and reminding her of what we could use her for. But again, up on that witness stand, looking at you in handcuffs wit hthe possibility of putting you away for years, she might get some smart idea of control and testify anyway."

Chris was hanging on to his every word.

"But then I realized what our best option was."

Even Godfrey was honed in on the plan.

"We have to not only scare her into lying or refusing to testify – we also have to take away her power. Take away her feeling freedom. Take away her feeling of security. Rip away all of the things she thinks she's found."

"And then…"

"We use her daughter against her."

Chris sat up, "What do you mean?"

Now Jason had the upper hand in the whole thing. "Guess who your daughter is dating?"

"Who?"

"Mitchum's son."

Chris felt powerful. So much power right now. He knew he wouldn't be in prison much longer at all. Because without Lorelai's testimony against him, there was nothing that was stopping him from getting away with everything completely free. Completely. In fact, the world would see him as the victim – the man who was falsly accused of horrendous things.

But he would actually be the one who got away with everything.

"That's beautiful."

Jason just shared his power.

And now it was Chris' turn to talk. "I want you to do something for me."

Both men were listening, but he was talking directly to Jason. "When you get her alone. When you finally overpower her. When she's laying there, completely helpless. Completely naked. Completely vulnerable." Both men were drinking in his words, remembering the wonderful feeling of power they had felt over this woman. "When you have her underneath you. I want you to rape her over and over again. But when it gets – well, let's say… intrusive with things other than flesh…" They both knew what he was talking about… "I want you to tell her that she still belongs to me. And that this is only the beginning. When I get out of jail, I'm coming for her."


	42. Chapter 42

She had to see him again.

She looked down at the papers beside her in the passenger seat.

She knew eventually she would have to face him.

She hadn't planned on it being today.

But somehow, having those papers – the papers that would separate him from being her husband anymore. The papers that would give her legal freedom from the monster she wanted to rot in prison – those papers would show him that she didn't belong to him anymore.

Maybe it was her visit with Mia – someone who knew her so well, could read her every move so much – and someone who believed in her strength – someone outside of the situation – to give her the power to say that she could face him. That she could beat him in court. That she had a chance. A chance to show him that he was a monster.

She glanced at the cell phone next to the papers. _Luke. I need to call him. And tell him I'm ok. He must be worried sick._ She reached over and picked up her cell phone – flipped it open, and held her finger over the number one – still the speed dial in her phone.

But she knew he would flip out if he knew where she was going. And he could read her voice so well. He would be able to tell she was going to do something. That was why she had to leave without him knowing – because he would have protested and made her think it was a bad idea.

She took a deep breath, looked at the phone in her hand one more time… then set it down in the seat beside her again.

And she turned up the music. And drove to the prison. Where he was.

Her hands shook a bit as she parked and took a deep breath. It wasn't too late to turn back.

 _I have to do this. I have to take my life back. I am not going to cower to him any longer. I am a free woman. And he might have tried to control me, but he will never again._

And as she got checked in, she kept repeating that to herself- willing herself to be strong and controlled when she saw him for the first time. She drew power from the divorce papers in her hand.

They escorted her to a room. With a table. And two chairs. They instructed her to sit on one chair. And told her he would be escorted in through the other door. They told her that a guard would be present the whole time. And that whenever she wanted to leave, she was free to do that. And that if she became afraid or wanted him restrained, they would do as much as she needed. She asked them if he would just be wearing handcuffs – they gave her the option of having him handcuffed to the chair too. So he was immobile. She asked that he be restrained as much as possible.

Then the door opened.

And she tried to look up at him. But she couldn't. She could just stare at her hands. She couldn't meet his gaze. She listened as the guard instructed him to sit down.

Then she heard some extra metal clanging. And his voice. She heard him protesting. "What are you doing? Handcuffing me to the chair?"

 _He protests that?_ She thought, rubbing her wrists as the feeling of the leather restraints on her body still felt present. And suddenly, she wasn't afraid anymore. This was her time to show him.

She looked up at him. He was staring at her. And she met his gaze. Something she hadn't done in a long time. Even when she was with him. He made her too afraid to look at him. Too small to look at her master with such brazen actions.

She wouldn't look away. And as the guard secured his feet to the leg of the chair, she saw him angry at the guard. "I didn't do anything to deserve this. I've been such a good prisoner in here. You have no right…"

And then it dawned on him. She could tell just by the way he looked at her.

And she just locked her jaw. And held her head high. And felt something she hadn't felt in such a long time. She felt like she was her own person. She was in control over herself. He was chained there to the chair. She was free to move around.

She said the first words to him. "How does it feel?"

He rolled his eyes. But she just held his gaze.

They sat there in silence for a minute before he answered in another question, "Are you going to make me take my clothes off for you?" His voice sneered through his clenched teeth.

 _She lay there, completely naked. She didn't know how long it had been. But she was so cold…_

She couldn't do that now. She gripped the papers. She didn't belong to him. She wasn't still in that room. He was the one restrained. And she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her falling apart.

She slid the papers across the table. He looked down at them.

"What are these, Lor?"

She refused to respond to the nickname she hated.

"Read it for yourself, Chris." She retorted.

He scanned it as much as he could. His eyes got wide, and looked at her with rage. "Divorce papers?"

She could see him realizing what this meant to her.

He spat his words out at her. "Papers aren't going to change the fact that you are mine."

 _All those times when he whispered that in my ear._

But she didn't believe him anymore. This was her life. "Chris, I don't belong to anyone." She hissed at him. "I never did. And I never will."

He was enraged. She could tell. She could feel it. Because for months, she would do anything to keep him from getting angry. She was enslaved to his moods – when he got angry, it meant she got hurt. It meant pain and suffering more than normal for her. But this time – no matter what he felt, no matter what he said, she was safe. She looked down at those restraints. And she knew even if he hadn't been restrained, she wouldn't let him hurt her anymore. She wouldn't let him. She was in control over her.

"I'm sure all the money we made together might suggest otherwise." He grinned. "I mean, it sure felt like I was the one in control there."

And she wanted to puke as he allowed his eyes to shift down her body, resting on her chest. Then he looked up at her and said, "I remember those – such beautiful things. Such a beautiful woman you are, Lor. I know there are so many men who have experienced your… beauty." He said the last word with such pleasure.

She wanted to cover up. She wanted to wrap a blanket around her. She even just wanted to cross her arms around her chest to keep him from mentally undressing her.

But she didn't.

she just looked at him and said, "How is prison treating you?"

 _Bring him back to the reality of what he is going to live in for the rest of his life._

When he wouldn't answer, she started her rant. Her voice was back. She wasn't going to let him stop her. "I mean, how is it being watched 24 hours of everyday? Having your entire life planned out for you? Sitting in a room for hours on end just thinking about your miserable existence? Thinking about all the things on the outside that you miss." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I mean, I bet you miss having sex with women." His face got all red. He knew what she was referring to. "I bet you miss being the top dog. Unfortunaltey, money doesn't get you really good sex in prison."

He was breathing hard now. She knew she had struck a nerve – putting him down in the one thing he had held over her – power. "But at least you have the ability to say no…" She waited, then pretended to have a rememberance hit her, "Oh, wait, you're the new guy on the block – the young guy. The young, rich guy. You're at the bottom of the totem pole. You don't have a say in what happens to you. I'm sure that's hard." And she smiled as she said, "Especially for you."

And now he strained at the handcuffs around his hands and arms and feet. "I was married to a whore. A lovely piece of sex meat that was a great fuck." He yelled at her. He was trying to get her to react. "You're worth nothing more than the money men pay to use your holes."

She visibly shuddered at such harsh words.

He continued, "You laid there for three days, nothing more than a cumslut. You were covered in nothing but cum when I came in that day." He quieted his voice, and asked, "Remember?"

 _Of course she remembered. She remembered everything._

But when she wanted to think about those memories, she would. She wouldn't let him goad her into a flashback right there.

"I survived." She said simply.

He smiled. And said, "For now."

Shivers again.

Heart racing.

And she could tell he knew he was getting to her. She couldn't stay here anymore.

But she couldn't let him have the last word. She had to leave him knowing she was stronger than what he had made her. She was leaving him. He wasn't her husband anymore.

And she knew exactly what to do it.

"You have a week to sign the divorce papers – then it is finalized. Because of your trial – I have the right to an immediate divorce. You have no say over this."

He just looked at the papers. Then said, "Who helped you make these papers? Who came up with the idea that you divorce me?" He looked at her like he was going to get her.

"It was Luke, wasn't it?"

She just smiled at his thought process – in his mind, she wasn't able to make these decisions on her own.

"You have your cell phone with you?" He asked, which threw her off of her game. "I just wanted to call and thank him for taking you off my hands."

She looked in disgust at him. "I decided to divorce you, Christopher. All on my own."

Chris' face dropped. "You're not that smart, bitch."

And now she must leave. And leave him with something to think about. And she would make him so mad.

She just stood up, leaned over the table. She was shaking so much on the inside, but she was so thankful her voice was steady. She was towering above him, sitting there in the chair with his hands and feet unable to move. And she just stared right into his eyes.

And she whispered – menacingly – "I just want you to know – that you never compared to Luke." And she added the last part just to dig at him. "Especially in bed."

And she left.

And he was yelling curses at her.

But she left.

And she was a free woman.


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: This is it. This is the scene that took me literally 15 hours to write. This and the next chapter. And this is the worst thing yet. And, in my mind right now - the worst it will get. This is going to be hard - I'm rating it r+ read with caution. I am not being gory just for the sake of being gory - if you have questions - please private message me!**

 **Shout out to all those who are so involved in my story - thanks so much!**

Again for the second time in a 24 hour period, Lorelai found herself driving away from something behind her. Last night it had been her fear of seeing Christopher for the first time.

This afternoon, it was the horrible memories Chris had brought back to her mind. And hse couldn't think about it. She couldn't have a flashback here in the car when driving. And she was thankful that driving was so therapeutic to her right now – she just flew down the highway.

She had to get somewhere safe. Somewhere that she wouldn't hurt anyone with the memories that were coming to her mind. She couldn't be with people right now.

She had held it together in that room with him. She had showed him that she was not afraid of him.

But she was.

She was afraid of what he had done to her.

She was afraid to look back and see what horrors he had put her through.

The speedometer hit 90.

Her heart was pounding. Her head was pounding.

At the last second, she swerved off on the Star's Hollow exit. The light was fading – she had only 15 more minutes until she would get home. But she couldn't go home. She couldn't face Luke right now. He would have millions of questions – he would ask her how she was doing – and he would know when she lied to him – she couldn't do that right now.

So right before she got into town, she pulled off onto an old, gravel road. A road she had traveled many times – both on foot when she didn't have a car – pushing a stroller – or her car everyday – but she sped down the road, almost mechanical – and she just prayed she could get there before her mind completely clouded over.

The abandoned buildings greeted her as the sun began to set. She pulled up on the old parking lot. She threw the jeep into park, and pretty much fell out of the car trying to get away from her memories.

 _She was alone. So alone._

She stumbled up off the ground and ran, her hands stinging from the gravel that lodged in her hands. But she kept running.

Up the small hill. Around the large, dilapidated building.

 _She shivered. She called for help. No one came._

The small shed was falling apart too. Tears were blinding her vision and she stumbled and fell again on the small stone steps leading up to the shed. Instead of standing up, she pushed the door open and crawled into the shed. It was dark and musty in there – and dust from the floor where she was crawling filled the air and her lungs.

 _She coughed. Her throat was so sore. She was thirsty. She was hungry. She was so scared._

The old shed that had been her first home apart from her parents.

She had made it – no one would find her here – and she wasn't endangering anyone else like she would have been if she had been driving.

Her hands were bleeding. And they burned.

And she let the memories come.

 _She lost track of time. She knew that the night had passed when the sun came up. And she could see some of the damage that they had left her here with. Her arms hurt from being extended all night. She tried to shift, but then her shoulders were pulling too much. And the leather, especially the left wrist, was digging into her skin, burrowing through her flesh. Her left side was bruised, a light purple at the moment – from the kick Jason had landed the night before. It didn't help that her left side was stretched farther, causing every breath to send painful stabs from her side all the way around her spine._

 _She didn't want to look down. But she had to. Her legs look horrible. She couldn't tell where one cut started and the other one began – because the blood had dried over all of it. She could tell that Chris and Jason hadn't pulled the ankle restraints as tight. She knew if she could use her legs to push her body up towards her hands, that she could relieve the tension on her arms. And her side. But just the act of using her thigh muscles to push herself up caused her to cry out in pain. Even just the little bit she could move, she felt less strain on her arms. Gritting her teeth, she pushed her heels into the bloody bedding and pushed as hard as she could. Tears and cries came out again, but her arms felt so much better._

She sat against the wooden walls. The sun was still mocking her sadness just over the horizon. But she knew the night was coming. And night was good.

Her hands settled on her jeans, knowing the scars lay just beneath the material. She saw them every time she showered. Every time she tried to put on a short skirt.

 _The sun went down again. She was so thirsty._

 _And she did what she knew wouldn't help. But she couldn't just give up and not try. She yelled out for help. "Help, please, Chris. Come let me out. Can I just have some water? Chris? Chris!"_

 _She called and called for someone to come help her. Anyone. She just needed something to drink._

 _She wondered if they were going to leave her there to die of dehydration or starvation._

 _And then she hated herself for thinking like they thought. But she knew that they wouldn't just tie her up, take so much time getting her all secured and locked in, and leave. They wouldn't let her just die without…._

Her face scrunched in horror as she remembered her thought processes.

 _They would rape her before they would let her die. They wouldn't just let her die. If they were done with her, they would… tears came out of her eyes as she acknowledged her reality. … they would rape her and torture her until she died – they would take utter pleasure in that. She was sure of it._

 _But she kept calling anyway. She didn't know why. It hurt her throat. But she wondered if someone walking by might hear her calling out – and come help – or call the police. Or something that would help._

 _So she just called._

"Help." Lorelai whispered to herself as she stood to her feet and leaned against the window watching the sun set. "Help me."

 _She must have drifted off. Well, she wasn't sure if she had drifted off the whole night or just part of it. But she jumped against the restraints when she heard the door slam._

 _The lights were off._

 _It was dark._

 _She couldn't see anything._

 _But she knew someone was in there with her._

She pulled her coat closer around her. And her whole body started to shake. So much that she had to sit back down.

 _"Chris?" She whispered. "Chris is that you?"_

 _Nothing._

 _But she heard breathing._

 _On the right side of the bed._

 _Or was it the left side of the bed?_

 _Or at the base of the bed?_

 _She couldn't be sure._

 _And then she heard his voice._

 _Chris._

Anger flared up at the thought of him again. There were old glass bottles along the side of the abandoned room. She picked one up, and she threw it with all her might against the wall.

 _"Lor." He said her name. Her name. She never wanted to hear her name again if it was said like he said it. "Lor, I don't think you know how unforgettable and unique of a person you are."_

 _It was coming from the foot of the bed. She couldn't see anything._

 _He chuckled. She would have puked if she would have had anything in her stomach. "You made such an impression on Jason, that first night at the office." She just laid there. Waiting for him to stop talking and start hurting her. That was all she was concerned about._

 _But he was saying something. "I can't believe it happened in your father's old office…"_

She started shaking her head in denial. She didn't think she could go on any further. She didn't think she could survive this memory. Her lips barely moved, but she just kept saying, "No. no."

 _But she didn't comprehend what he was saying because as he was talking, someone touched her. From the right of the bed. Not from the end where Jason was talking. She screamed in fear, and pulled away from the hand that reached up at touched her head, and followed her hair down to her neck._

 _"Jason. Please. I need something to…"_

 _It wasn't Jason.. This man's hand was too rough against her neck – Jason had soft hands that hadn't worked a hard day in his life. These hands were large, and calloused. And they were touching her. She pulled away. And said, "Leave me alone."_

 _Chris' voice continued. "So I decided that we should share the experience."_

 _And then she felt something else from the other side of the bed. A hand cupped around her breast, grabbing her hard. She cried out in pain._

 _This can't be happening. She thought. But she should have known that she should never rule anything horrible out anymore – her life was horrible. So there is nothing that couldn't happen to her._

 _Her husband still was talking. "And after that little stunt you pulled at the party – we figured we wouldn't give you the satisfaction of earning the bribe money back one at a time." She had hands caressing her neck, stretching his hand over her throat, slowly applying pressure, and then letting go of the pressure, teasing her. Other hands on her breast had grabbed both of them, and started clawing and tearing into them._

 _"So. Not that you're going to be able to keep time during this – session. But you're going to experience so much pain – so much humiliation – and so much, well, torture – maybe the next two days will go by fast."_

 _And with that he must have walked over to the lamp beside the bedtable, and turned it on. And she flinched at the sudden change from dark to light. And then as her eyes adjusted, she gasped in terror as she found not just the two men that she could feel on her body, but another at the end of the bed. She turned her head as far as she could to see Chris. Pulling her neck away, she just stared into the eyes of whom she was sure was the devil himself._

 _And she was his pleasure. His pleasure at her suffering._

 _"Now, be a good girl and do what you're told." And with that he left the room._

She looked around the empty room. And she picked up another bottle. But she didn't throw it. She just started screaming.

"You bastard." She said, Chris' face in her mind. She stood to her feet, and walked over to the window, where she could see her reflection. Tears. And she smashed the bottle through the window, screaming all the time.

"How the hell could I ever have loved you? I fucking tried." Her voice was raw. She held the neck of the bottle as she smashed it over and over again through every pane of the old window.

She was angry with him. "What kind of fucking husband does that? What the hell did you want to get out of it?" Glass shards flew through the air. But she didn't care. "You told me you loved me. You fucking asked me to marry you. In fucking Paris."

Her tears overtook her, and she just threw the neck of the bottle across the room where it smashed against a storage box and shattered. Just like her heart that night.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N - READ WITH CAUTION - R+ - PLEASE REVIEW. I will not add chapters until I get some reviews. tHis was a hard scene to write.**

 _Her nightmare began._

 _She felt her lips overtaken by a hungry mouth, feeling teeth that bit at her bottom lip. She looked at him while he kissed her. His eyes were angry, full of lust, and full of power. She turned her head to pull away from him, her mouth being a very sensitive part to her – kissing was always her way of showing her love for the person she was sleeping with. This just mocked her. She pulled away, and for a minute, his mouth slipped from hers, and she inhaled. But his large hand grabbed her jaw, and wrenched her head back to his, and now not only was he biting at the edges of her mouth, but his tongue snaked its way into hers, tangling with hers – and she wanted to just puke a little right there._

 _But she didn't have time to think about puking as she felt the hands at her breasts start to claw – physically claw into her skin – raking their way around her back and making her arch her spine in pain. Then she heard laughing. From the man at her mouth. And he let go of her mouth enough to say, "Pain turns you on?"_

 _The bed shook. Someone was on the bed. Not just standing above her, or leaning over to kiss her._

 _She was again so aware of the fact that her legs were spread apart. That she was so exposed to the world She tried to close her knees knowing what was about to happen, but the restraints were too strong._

 _She felt him sit on her thighs – right above her opening. And she screamed in pain as the pressure from this man's body came down full force on her tortured thighs – she could feel the dried blood and scabs stretching open._

 _Her screams opened her mouth wider, and the man at her mouth pulled his mouth off of her. And she took in deep breaths, but just cried and cried, unable to stop. She heard two belts being undone. The man on her thighs. And the man by her head._

 _She tightened her hands into fists and used all her might to try and pull herself out of the leather chains that held her there in hell. The bed shook, but she didn't know if it was from her struggling or that someone else was on the bed. Two knees surrounded her face, holding her neck immobilized in place._

 _"It's time, bitch." He said, towering over her._

 _She just shook her head as little as she could. He grabbed her hair in his large hands to hold her even more in place. But he couldn't make her open her mouth. She clenched her jaw shut, tight against the assult that was happening on her lips by it right now. His face reddened, but it didn't get angry. He just looked behind him for a second, and said, "Whenever you're ready Hugh."_

 _She didn't even have time to be confused._

 _Without any warning, she felt fire between her legs as he shoved into her. She opened her mouth to scream in agony, but was immediately gagged and choked the minute she opened her mouth. Her scream was muffled, coming out like gurgling as she felt her throat constrict against the foreign object now lodged down her windpipe._

She was on an angry tirade now. She picked up boxes and threw them against the walls. Anything she could grab, she threw. If it was too heavy, she kicked it. She pounded her fist into the wall. Screaming. "I couldn't move. I was tied so tightly I couldn't even fight back."

 _The man between her legs pounded into her, each move of him inside of her ripped her insides apart. He had wrapped his hands around her hips for balance, and he violently dug his finernails into her skin too._

 _And the man who had been assaulting her chest – he had stopped. And hse had assumed it was because of the lack of room on her body between the two men that were on top of her. But her entire body shook with the crack of a belt that hit her chest._

 _She couldn't breathe. Her body arched in pain at the whipping she was receiving._

 _But that just gave the man thrusting into her the ability to reach deeper into her._

 _She didn't know what to do. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't move. She was burning everywhere – her lungs, her chest from the leather belt, and from the violent rape she was experiencing._

 _Tears streamed out of her eyes, and she looked up to the only thing that she could see – the man's face that was taking such pleasure in what was happening._

 _He pushed himself even farther down her throat, using her hair to angle her head back to get maximum depth._

"I thought I was going to die." She cried. She ripped her coat off, not feeling the cold that was flowing in through the open door and the broken window.

 _And then, just when she thought she was going to black out with lack of oxygen, he pulled out enough to let her suck in some air around him, but not enough that she could close her mouth to further assaults._

 _Another whip across the chest._

 _The man between her legs slapped her hard on her thighs, and she just lay there, stretched and beaten and unable to even make a sound._

 _Her throat constricted again as he pushed himself down her again. He got excited when she gagged, the tightening of her throat giving him more and more pleasure the longer her was down there._

 _And she could feel him tensing up. And he brought himself out, and she sucked in another breath, spit and tears commingling down her face onto her neck._

 _And with a final push down her throat, he thrust himself down there. All she could think was that she didn't want what was going to happen to happen. She had never been more humiliated. But he closed his eyes in escacy as she felt warm liquid being forced down her throat, unable to stop or choose to spit it out._

 _She felt him shaking inside of her. And then he pulled out. All the way out._

 _And she turned her head away from him, her cheek against the wet bedcover. Wet from her tears. And she just laid there in agony and humiliation._

She could still feel him in her throat. She gagged at the thought. And she leaned over and puked. "I couldn't defend myself. I couldn't breathe…" She cried, and she started to pound her fists on the bare wooden floor – feeling shards of glass embedding themselves in her hands.

 _He got off of her face, getting off the bed. And now she was confronted with the face of the man who was still in the middle of finishing off inside of her. She just allowed her eyes to close – wanting nothing more than to curl up and die. She didn't want to be face with anything else. Maybe they were almost finished and would leave her alone now._

 _He deposited his donation into her, and then pulled out of her – raking his hands up her broken and bleeding thighs, taking pleasure in seeing her grimace in pain._

 _And she could do nothing except lay there and wait for them to leave. She knew her chest was heaving from the pain and breath she was trying to deal with – she knew her mouth was covered in…_

 _And suddenly the man who had been between her legs, he grabbed her face, and violently kissed her. Her eyes flew open in confusion and surprise. He wasn't on there very long at all. But it was just enough for her to feel distracted._

 _She felt hands underneath her body. And in one fell swoop, she felt herself flipped onto her stomach. Then her knees were painfully pushed up underneath her stomach._

 _Her hands were crossed in front of her, the leather straps strained at the tension after being flipped over._

 _She heard a zipper being undone._

 _Oh my god. She thought, and she just screamed. "No, please don't. Please." She begged and cried to no avail. "Someone help me…"_

"I screamed so loud for you to come and save me." She said, her voice shaking as she remembered looking at the door, just waiting for someone – anyone – to come in and stop it.

And now the guilt hit her.

"I loved you, Chris. I really loved you." She hated herself for the fact that she had loved that man. "How could you fucking leave me there to have that happen? You knew I would do anything for you. I didn't do anything to deserve any of that."

"How could you let them…" She started running out of words as the memories crashed all around her.

 _Her ass was in the air, and she felt someone get on the bed behind her._

 _She clenched her hands into fists._

 _A hand came down on her raw skin, slapping her and somehow – she didn't know how – somehow making her feel even more degraded than she already felt. Again. And again. And she couldn't stop screaming._

 _Her throat burned. But she just screamed._

 _She felt something penetrate. She couldn't move to avoid the pain. She could do nothing to make them stop._

 _Every sinew of her being wanted to die. The grunts of satisfaction started to fade away from her hearing. She just closed her eyes as searing pain tore through her body. She could think of nothing else in this world. But pain._

 _She didn't know how long it lasted. But when he pulled out, she could tell he hadn't finished completely._

 _She felt him move up her back, sitting midway on her back, and then he grabbed her hair and wrenched her neck so she was facing him._

 _She couldn't open her eyes. But somehow – she knew what was about to happen._

She closed her eyes in horror. She brought her bloody hands up to her face, and covered her face from the memory.

 _And it did._

 _He finished and let her head fall back to the facedown position, where she now puked up the little bit that was in her stomach. She felt the bed move as he got off of her. And then hands grabbed her again, and twisted her back to her back. Then the room became a fury of pants zipping, belts going on again. And then they left her – one of them pulled her face to look at him and said, "Thanks, so much, Miss Gilmore."_

 _And then she was left alone._

 _Naked and exposed._

 _Bleeding._

 _Sick._

 _Humiliated._

 _Wishing she had a knife to kill herself._

She picked up a shard of the glass from the broken window on the ground. And she held it to her wrist – knowing all she had to do was pull it across and she would be dead before anyone found her.

 _And her next thought was if she could somehow get one of her arms around her neck, the leather strap would strangle her and she could die._

 _But she was too tired to try anything. She was too used .Too…_

 _She closed her eyes, wanting to fall into deep oblivion and sleep – at least she could escape that way._

 _Until the door opened. She turned. Three of them. Again._

 _And again._

 _And again._

She was curled up in ball on the ground in the corner of the room. The shard of glass on her wrist. She just wanted to end the pain. To stop the horrors that cascaded through her mind.

And as she lay there, returning to her complete faculties, she just stared at the glass in her hand. Then something sparkled in the glass, drawing her eyes to the window.

Dawn.

The mist over the hills – the little bit of fog that cloaked the awakening world. She took a deep breath, and could see the vapor in the air.

And her eyes caught ahold of something else in the window.

The curtains.

Her mind went back. Back to a time that she remembered with fondness.

 _She watched Rory toddle across the room towards her, and set her chubby little hands on her knees. Rory's eyes looked at the material in Lorelai's lap. And said in her sweet two year old voice, "Pretty."_

A smile came to Lorelai's face. She picked herself up off of the ground and stumbled over to the window. She ran the material through her bruised and bloody hands.

 _"Mine." Rory said her other favorite word as she laid her head on Lorelai's lap, feeling the soft material on her tiny cheek._

 _Lorelai put her needle from sewing the curtain into a safe place away from the baby, and then hoisted the little girl up into her lap, and wrapped the material around her, like a little swaddled newborn._

Lorelai put the worn, faded material to her cheek. She could still here her daughter's laugher as she had tickled her under the material.

 _Then she had rocked her, and Rory had just snuggled up against her chest, sucking her thumb with her left hand like she always did. With her little right hand, Rory had brushed her mother's face. Lorelai loved that part about cuddling her daughter – ever since she was just days old, she loved to touch her, to cuddle with her, almost just making sure her mother was there with her has she fell asleep._

As she held the curtains in her hands, she dropped the shard of glass to the ground. She loved her baby. She looked down at the flower patterns in the material and thought. _I survived._

Rory.

Her baby.

She had gone through hell to protect her daughter.

She had left home at 16. She had started a life all on her own with nothing to her name.

She had made a great life for herself.

And she could still do that.

As the sun peaked up through the trees, Lorelai walked out of the shed – she left behind the broken glass. The broken dreams. The broken woman who had gone through hell over and over again. She left that behind her.

Climbing in the van, she knew it wasn't over – she knew nothing healed overnight. She knew the trial would be hell on earth. She knew that she would still have flashbacks. She knew there would be things she would freak out about.

But she now knew that she was going to survive. She knew she was going to live through this. Up until today, she had just been existing because nothing had killed her yet. But now she was living like she wanted to be alive.


	45. Chapter 45

He was in the kitchen. In the diner. He was finishing the dishes. He had sent Caesar home early, as some sort of patch-up for how crazy Luke had been the last few days. He had his hand in dishwater.

But his mind was far from here.

 _"Don't you love me, Luke?"_

 _"You know I do."_

 _"I love you, Luke, I love you. But I have waited and I have waited and I have stayed away and I let you run this thing. But no more. I asked you to marry me and you said yes!"_

That scene played over and over in his mind. That was the day he let her go – he watched her walk away. He wouldn't go with her – even though he knew she was his soulmate – he knew she was meant to be with him. But he had blown it.

And she had run to Christopher.

He had pushed her to him.

He heard the bell signaling someone opened the door.

 _I swear I locked that.._ His heart skipped a beat. Drying his hands, he slowly walked out behind the counter.

She just stood there in front of the door. Her hands crossed in front of her chest.

"Luke."

He just stood there. He didn't know what she wanted from him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

He looked down at his hands, then he looked at her again, and asked, "Are you ok?" He wanted to ask her what the hell she had been thinking taking off without telling him. He wanted to ask her how selfish she had to be not just to mention it to her. He wanted to say so many things. But he asked the most important question that he had been worried about. He needed to know she wasn't hurt. That no one had hurt her.

He could tell she was holding back tears. Her face scrunched up, she bit her bottom lip. She took deep breaths. But she just looked at him, and nodded. "I'm better than I've been in a long time."

And she stepped toward the counter. "I just needed…"

He hated to see her cry. So he turned away, and asked, "Coffee?"

He felt her hand on his shoulder. And he turned around, and she looked up at him, her blue eyes swimming with tears. But she smiled. "Luke, I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm happy."

She put her hand into his, and said, "Please, understand. I just needed some time to sort things out. I had to find out what I really wanted to live for."

He squeezed her hand, and said, "As long as you're safe."

She nodded, but he saw her wince in pain. And he looked down at her small hands to find them bleeding into his. "Lorelai, what happened?"

He turned around to grab his first aid kit, and gestured for her to sit on one of the bar stools. She extended her hands to him, and she just said, "Some old glass bottles were on the floor."

 _Like that was a good explanation – kind of like some of her movie references._

They sat there for almost an hour, her wincing as he picked glass pieces out of her palm. He could feel her eyes on him as he focused on her hands. He glanced up every once in a while, to find her studying his face.

After he was sure there was no more glass in her hand, he dabbed some hydrogen peroxide on the cuts, and a few tears ran down her cheeks as it stung as he expected it would. He then carefully wrapped each hand round and round with gauze, making sure the cuts were covered but that she could still use her hand as much as possible.

"I think that's as good as it's going to get." He muttered, cleaning up the mess on the counter.

She reached her hand out to his, and he looked at her again, and found her smiling, and said, "Thank you, Luke. For everything."

As she walked out of his diner that night, he didn't know what had happened. But he did know that something was different. She was stronger. She resembled the Lorelai before Christopher. She was more herself. So no matter how frustrated he was at her, he conceded that whatever had happened, it must have been for the best.

"Logan, have you seen my phone?" She called out as she searched through the couch cushions for the ringing device. Well she searched with one hand while her joint was in the other hand. And then she started laughing hysterically at herself. "I can't find it." And that overtook her as one of the funniest things in the world.

It stopped ringing. And she stopped looking for it.

Logan came out of the bedroom. "What, Ace?"

Rory just looked at him. And she started laughing again. And said, "I don't remember."

The ringing started again. And her eyes got wide and she slurred, "I remember."

Logan just stared at her. Then asked, "What?"

She paused. Ringing. "Oh, have you seen my phone?"

He picked the ringing cell phone off of the coffee table in front of her. "Seriously, we need to get you some.."

She flipped the phone open, laughing just a bit. "Heeelllloooooo."

"Rory?"

Rory spoke without thinking, "Oh shit." She looked at Logan, who'se eyes were wide hearing her language right off in the conversation. Then she mouthed, "My mother."

He just smiled, and said, "Good luck, Ace."

"Are you ok, Rory?" Her mother's voice was concerned.

Her mind felt like it was moving so slow. But she mumbled something about dropping something on the ground when she answered the phone. Thankful her mother seemed to want to carry on the conversation, she just listened.

"I'm in town."

Panic in her mind. "What? You mean here at yale?"

"Yeah. I thought I would surprise you and we could have dinner." Her mother sounded happy. "I can come by your dorm and pick you up, ok?"

"UMMM…" Rory stalled, knowing her mother would freak out if she knew that she was living with her boyfriend – the boyfriend that her mother didn't know anything about. "I'm really busy tonight, Mom…"

Her mother wasn't getting the hint, "We can just go to the dining hall and get something quick. I just haven't seen you in so long. I'll be at your room to pick you up in like ten minutes?"

Rory had no idea where the idea came from, must have been her mind trying to protect her. But she said, "No, there's a really good pasta joint downtown. Let's go there. It's right next to the bar…" she backpedaled. "I'll text you the address."

"Oh that sounds wonderful." And then her mother added, "But I'll just pick you up. No need for you to take two cars."

"I'm actually out right now so it will be easier to just…"

"Oh that works."

Rory was panicing. She couldn't see her mother like this…

"I'll see you soon, kid. Love you."

"Bye."

Logan laughed at her. "You're going to have dinner with your mother like this?"

"What?" She asked, "I was pretty smooth on the phone here." Her confidence was returning. "I'm smoother than butter." She stood up and almost fell down. But then said, "I need you to drive me."

Logan already had his keys. "Come on, let's go." She slipped her shoes on and walked past him.

He pulled the joint out of her hand and said, "Let's get rid of this before dinner."


	46. Chapter 46

Lorelai wasn't waiting long. It looked like a super cute Italian restaurant, red checkered table cloths, a good selection of wine, and the food from the kitchen smelled wonderful. She was just so excited to see Rory after almost a whole month of her daughter delving into her schoolwork so much. _I can't go this long without seeing her again._ She thought. _I've really missed her._

She saw her walk in, and waved her over. As she got closer, she stood up to give her a hug. Rory held her hand up, which should have been the first thing she noticed.

"Sorry. I have a really bad…. Cold."

 _What the hell was that?_ She asked herself as she said, "Oh, ok." _She must feel really bad to tell her not to hug her._

"I hope this table is ok?" she asked, as Rory sat down.

Rory just nodded, and said, "It's fine."

Rory opened the menu and started looking at the food.

And Lorelai said, "So, what's good here?"

"I like the fettuccini – either the red or the white stuff." Rory said, grabbing a breadstick from the basket. And she started talking. "I came here one time with… Paris. And I ordered the fettuccini with the red sauce. And Paris, she got this weird shit that had mushrooms and veggies and whole wheat pasta… And of course…"

Lorelai stopped listening to the actual words that were coming out of her daughter's mouth. And she started to notice the signs.

Her face was thinner. So much.

"So we switched plates..." She was laughing uncontrollably at the story that wasn't funny at all. And her words were slurred, like she was talking with marbles in her mouth. Her lips were full of sores. Lorelai looked at her daughter's eyes – they were red – so red.

And her hands her shaking as she reached for her drink.

Lorelai leaned over, closer to Rory.

"What, mom?"

She sniffed. Her stomach flip-flopped.

"What kind of high are you?" She asked, Rory's face still smiling even after she confronted her.

Rory rolled her eyes. "Here we go." And she shoved a huge piece of bread into her mouth.

"I don't think it's just pot is it?" She could smell something other than weed on her daughter. And alcohol.

Rory stopped smiling, and sank lower in her chair as she talked with food in her mouth. "It's not that big of a deal, ok? It's college. Everyone does it."

 _This isn't the student that left me just a month ago. This is something completely different. This isn't the applied, 4.2 GPA graduate from a top prep-school, driven child._

"You're in trouble." Lorelai said, "You know that, right? This isn't going to lead you down…"

Rory interrupted. "Okay, I'm in big trouble." She shrugged her shoulders. "So fucking what? At least it's fun." And she started laughing.

Lorelai grabbed her purse and her coat. "Come on, we're leaving."

Rory looked at her. And confirmed that this girl in front of her, this girl who looked like her daughter, had changed so much, "I'll go when I'm fucking ready to go."

"Don't cuss at me, young lady." Lorelai said. "And we are going now." And then Lorelai's heart raced. "Please tell me you didn't drive here like that."

Rory gathered her coat, and said, "Oh, Mom. Do I look stupid?"

Lorelai wondered just how stoned/high this girl had to be to know that the question she just asked. "Don't make me answer that one." She grabbed Rory by the shoulder and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

"Get your hands off of me!" Rory yelled, but still followed her mother out of the restaurant. "Mom, let go. You're embarrassing me."

Once outside the restaurant, Rory started rummaging in her purse. "Motherfucking phone." She exclaimed. Then she found it.

"What are you doing? You're coming home with me." Lorelai said.

"Over my dead body." Rory said as she pressed speed dial.

"Who the hell are you calling?" Lorelai asked, reaching for the phone.

"Logan? Hi. So I need you to come back and get me." _Who was Logan?_ "Yeah, she's being a bitch and I want to go back to your place."

 _Who is this?_ Lorelai wondered as she stood there so confused as her daughter referred to her – they had been such wonderful friends – referred to her as a bitch.

Rory closed her phone, threw it in her purse.

Lorelai cringed as she watched her daughter pull out a pack of cigarettes. "Rory, what are you doing?" She was so confused. "What happened? This isn't you."

Rory lit the cigarette, took a breath, and then let the smoke come tumbling out of her mouth, and the words followed, "How would you know, Mom? How would you know if this is me or not? What gives you the fucking right to talk shit to me about how I have to live?"

Lorelai opened her mouth to respond, but she was cut off as Rory waved her hand in front of her face, smoke everywhere. "No, you don't get to talk. I get to live my life how I have to live. I don't have another choice."

"What do you mean, no other choice?"

Rory just rolled her eyes. "I live everyday knowing that you went through hell. Because of me."

Lorelai closed her eyes and her body started to shake with sobs. And she reached over to hold her daughter, but Rory pushed her away. But Lorelai fell to her knees in front of her daughter, holding on to her arms. _Oh, dear god, she thinks this is her fault._ "Rory, no. No. None of this…"

"Say whatever you want. But I heard you talking to Luke that night. I heard you say that if you didn't have to worry about me, you would have just died instead of going through what happened." Rory tried to pull away, tears coming down her own face.

 _What could she say to make Rory stop thinking…_ "Honey, no. You were the reason I kept on living. I got a second chance at life because of you…"

Loreial heard a car pull up to the curb behind her. Rory pulled away, brushed the tears off of her face, and angerly said, "I have to go."

"Rory, don't go. Please…" Lorelai begged, standing to her feet. But Rory was already in the passenger side of the car.

 _I can't just let her leave. I don't even know who she is going with._

The driver's door opened, and a handsome young man stepped out. She could hear Rory yelling something about getting in the car and leaving.

"Logan Huntzberger." He extended his hand. She took it. She was still in shock. "I'm sorry this is how we get to meet."

Lorelai tried to think of something to say – but her whole mind was completely thrown off by the behavior of Rory – and now the reason why.

He just looked at her with compassion. And said, "Let me get her sobered up."

She just nodded.

"I think the whole thing with her father really hit her hard." _Her father. Chris. She was realizing what a monster her father was._

He turned to get back in the car. And she managed to say, "It was nice to meet you, Logan."

A small smile came to his face, and he said, "The pleasure is all mine."

And then she watched the sports car drive off.


	47. Chapter 47

**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**

Lorelai walked into her empty house. She flipped on the light in the living room, tossed her coat over the couch, threw her keys on the table by the answering machine, pushed the answering machine on, and then walked into the kitchen to find something to eat.

 _Beep._

"Lorelai, this is Mia. I just wanted to see how things went today. And my husband said he will be down on Friday if that works for you to go over deposition stuff and legal signings and everything else. Love you, honey. Talk to you later."

 _Beep._

"Hello beautiful ladies, this is your all-time favorite Frenchman who wants to know if he will have to do all the work for the whole in for the rest of his life until he dies."

 _Beep._

"Miss Gilmore, this is Hugh Godfrey, Christopher Hayden's lawyer. I need to set up a time with you and your lawyer, whoever you decide to hire, to get some pre-trial depositions done. If you could return my call here at 465-321-5795 that would be great."

Lorelai shuddered. She found a tub of icecream in the freezer. Grabbing a spoon from the drawer, she made her way into the living room to see what was on the television.

"Doll!"

Lorelai's heart about came out of her chest. The tub of ice cream went flying. The spoon flew in the direction where the sound came from. And Lorelai fell backwards in fright.

"Babette!"

"Oh, did I scare you honey?" The little lady asked as she bounded over to help her up off of the ground.

Her eyes were still wide. And her heart was still pounding. And she wasn't sure whether she had caught her breath yet.

"I just needed to ask you a question, and seeing as how you had been gone all night, I figured I could just wait over here until you got home."

Lorelai was standing up now, staring down at her sweet neighbor. "Babette. You scared me a little bit."

Babette had found the tub of iccream – which had landed upside down on the hardwood – and seeing as how Lorelai couldn't remember the last time she had cleaned the floor in the house at all, she set the tub on the end table as Babette helped her over to the couch.

"You're a little on edge, Doll." Babette said, and then she leaned in close and said, "Hun, Miss Patty sent me."

"Oh?" She asked with a fake enthusiasm. But Babette didn't read her sarcasm.

"Yes. She sent me on a very important mission."

Willing her heart to slow down, she tried to look interested.

"Well, someone – I'm not saying who – but someone has seen Luke here at the house overnight for a while. And, well, some of the townspeople feel it's their duty to know whether we need to prepare for another Luke and Lorelai couple?"

 _Oh, Stars Hollow. Not the place to live when you have secrets._

But she just smiled and said, "No, he's just been helping me out here."

Babette looked at her, and said, "In a dirty way?"

"Oh my god, Babette, now you're starting to sound like me!" Babette did a little laugh, but she could tell that the lady was watching her every facial expression. "No, I've…" Lorelai lied, knowing she just had to, "… had some problems with mice here lately."

Babette's eyes got wide.

"And I have this huge fear that they are going to crawl into bed with me or that they will destroy the whole house while I'm sleeping." Babette just nodded along with her. "So until we had it under control, Luke was staying here on the couch."

Babette just looked at her, and said, "Are you sure?"

Lorelai tried to keep a straight face, and said, "You know I would tell you if something happened, Babette."

Babette patted her knee, and then stood up. "Well, I think Taylor will be glad to hear that."

And with that the woman was gone, yelling across the yard, "SHE HAS MICE, MOREY!"


	48. Chapter 48

He had wanted to do this last night. But that crazy neighbor lady had been in the house all night.

And he decided that he would just go home and come back in the morning to greet her.

He jimmied the lock open to the front door, a skill he had learned as a child and teenager when he wasnted something his parents wouldn't let him have. _And she's something people don't want me to have. Just makes it more exciting._

The sun hadn't come up yet, so he was still hidden under the cloak of darkness. But he slowly made his way up the creaky stairs to her bedroom. _Reminds me of the times I was here with her when we were together._

The door was open. He walked in. And found the bed empty.

 _Now where are you sleeping, my little slut?_ He thought. He turned to go check maybe in Rory's room. But something stirred from what looked like a pile of blankets on the floor. _Found you._

He walked over, towering above her beautiful, peaceful form. Her arm was thrown up over her head, her other hand tucked under her cheek. He watched her chest steadily rise and fall.

He hated to wake her.

But he was tired.

And he had missed her.

He squatted down, so he could reach her face. And he ran his fingers through her luscious hair.

And she stirred awake – not yet aware that anything was wrong.

And she rolled to her back, and then looked up at him. He threw his hand over her mouth before she screamed.

And he said, "Good morning, Lorelai.

She clawed at his hand that was covering her mouth, and she tried to roll away from him on the floor. He just grabbed one of her wrists, and pulled her up against his body, and stood up, holding her head against him with his hand on her mouth, and her wrist was wrenched behind her to cause her pain when she struggled against him.

 _He loved it when she struggled. It made it just that much more fun._

He led her over to the bed. And she went limp in his arms, but her arm held her up, and she cried in pain, but it was muffled by the hand over her mouth. "Stand up, bitch. Don't hurt yourself." Then he whispered, "That's my job."

She was struggling so much more than normal. Must be this new sense of freedom she felt being away from Chris.

He loved feeling her be scared when she was up against him. So he just said, "I wonder how you'll perform under pressure." She stopped to listen to him. "I know you're used to three at once, but hopefully you remember how to please just one at a time?"

Her chest was heaving up and down. He knew she was scared.

He let go of her mouth for just one second and she started to scream. But he had just reached into his back pocket to grab his gag for her. Her mouth was open and screaming when he shoved the ball gag into her mouth, and she cried out in pain as he probably smashed her mouth up. He buckled it behind her head, so there was no way she could spit it out and cry for help.

And now he could put her on the bed. He threw her down, and she again did her roll thing, and she rolled to the right and slid down off the bed, so he had to scramble to grab her again. She clawed his arms as he grasped her by the waist and threw her again onto the bed, aiming for the middle a bit more.

But she pulled her legs up, and crawled to the other side of the bed, standing and staring at him with wild eyes.

"You really like to make this interesting, don't you?

She reached behind her head to undo the gag. She was shaking so much she fumbled with it, and he used that moment to run around to that side of the bed. But she jumped onto the bed and made a flying leap to get over it and ran towards the door, her hands still trying desperately to undo the gag.

She got to the stairs going down, and he was right behind her. She ran down the stairs, but he was close enough to swing his foot up and kick her in the back, causing her to tumble all the way down the stairs and land with a crash on the landing.

And he was down and had her limp body in his arms before she could clear her head. She hadn't gotten the gag out, but she just whimpered. And he knew her enough to know it was from both pain and fear. He carried her to the couch, and flung her on there. sHe just looked at him with wild eyes, her lip was split and bleeding.

"Well, was that good for you? Not so much for me, but I guess whatever gets you off…" He said.

He began to undo his pants, and she pushed herself up again off of the couch, but he just grabbed her hair and threw her back down, the back of her head hitting the arm of the couch with a thud.

Now it was time for his speech. "Are you ready for the trial on Monday?"

She stared up at him. He continued, as he pulled his pants down. "Of course you are. You're a smart bitch. You know that we all are in this together. You could never take us all down. It's just your word against prestigious businessmen."

There was fire in her eyes. And since he wasn't holding her hands, he realized she had her hands behind her head and had unclasped the gag. Pulling it out of her mouth, she flung it across the room.

He expected her to start screaming.

But she just said, "I'm not afraid of you, Jason. Or any of them."

He chuckled, and said, "You don't even know all of their names." And then he leaned over her and got close to her face and said, "Who would believe you? Sure, you're a sweet piece of ass, but other than that, everyone knows you're nothing."

She snarled back at him, "Remember this?" And he didn't have any time to prepare before he felt her spit all over his face, in his eyes. He jerked back up, desperately trying to get the stuff out of his eyes.

And she used this moment to jump over the other side of the couch. And she started to scream. "Help me. Help. Help. Call 911."

He had to get her quiet – this hadn't been the plan. And he was angry. And nervous that the nosy neighbors would wake up with her screaming. So he did the one thing that had worked before with her.

"I hear Rory is having some trouble."

She stopped from where she was running to get outside. It had frozen her just enough that by the time she started screaming and running again he had her in his arms, and whirled her around and slapped her face to shut her up.

And he didn't want to take enough time to go back to the couch. So he threw her up against the wall of the entry way. She let out a cry of pain when her back hit the wall.

And he used his arms to pin her arms to the wall above her. Her lip was still bleeding. He could taste it in his mouth.

He felt her stop fighting. Her arms were no longer pushing against him. Her eyes were closed, and defeat overtook her.

He let her arms down to give him his hands to pull her sweatpants and panties down. She whimpered when he used his knee to get her legs open. But she didn't fight.

He whispered in her ear. "Now, you know that this could be your life again, Lorelai." He kissed her neck. "You think it was bad before? If you testify against Chris, he goes to prison." Then he smiled, "And then you'd be mine."

Her body shuddered against his. "I know I scare you so much more than Chris. I should. I don't love you. I don't care anything about you. Chris does. So you'd better hope and pray that he gets out of prison."

And just to make sure, he also solidified, "I would check out Rory's boyfriend if I were you before you fight against us in court."

And he was at her entrance. She knew what was coming. She closed her eyes in anticipation.

Well he thought it was anticipation.

But it was in horror. As he felt a searing pain in his rib cage. He stepped back, and she pulled her arm back. His hand reached for the pain, and came back covered in blood.

"I said I'm not scared of you." She said.

He was having trouble breathing. He looked to her hand and found a knife in her hand. A combat knife. He didn't know how she got it, but he knew it had done him damage.

She pushed him to the ground, and climbed over him to get to the phone. And he knew he had to get out of here before the police got here. He tried to stand up, holding his side and wincing in pain.

"I need to report a home invasion and attempted rape." She said, walking back into the entry way. "Yes, the intruder is still here." She paused, then said, "He is incapacitated."

He had found a way to his feet, leaning against the wall. The floor was covered with blood. But he had to get out of here. He stumbled to the door.

But he heard something he hadn't heard coming from the woman behind him before. He heard strength.

He felt a small pain in his back and she said, "I'll stab you again if you move anymore."

He didn't think she had the guts to stab a man walking away. He wasn't hurting her – he didn't' think she had the adrenaline. So he just continued walking out – and she pushed it harder against his other rib cage.

"It's your choice, Jason."

He decided he needed to get the knife away from her, and she wasn't too fast, he knew that. But the pain in his side slowed him down as he wrenched around and grabbed for the knife. And she was ready. The blade cut into his hand that reached for the knife, and she sliced it back, and then swiped the blade across his face. He caught the untrained attack with his other arm, but it fileted his forearm open.

He fell to the ground. Blood was covering everything. His shirt. The floor. His face.

And she just stood above him. And the last thing he remembered before passing out was the sounds of sirens in the distance.


	49. Chapter 49

"Ma'am, I'm officer Grant. I need to ask you a few questions."

Lorelai just nodded. The police had arrived first on the scene, and then an ambulance had come after that. A policeman had escorted Jason to the hospital – he was handcuffed to the gurney when they wheeled him away.

The rush of adrenaline was fading fast. Her hands were shaking. But she allowed them to take her to the couch, where she sat, and him and another officer sat across from her in chairs.

There were people all around. Foresic people – taking blood samples from the ground. From the knife on the table.

"Can you tell us what happened?"

She found courage from somewhere. And she started. "I woke up and he grabbed me. And he was going to …" She took a deep breath and said the word that grabbed the back of her throat and said, "… he was going to rape me. He tried to throw me on the bed. Then I got away, ran down the stairs, but he pushed me, and I fell."

The officer interrupted her, and said, "Ma'am, can you slow down just a little bit. We are just trying to make sure we have all the information."

She nodded, knowingly.

"He pushed you down the stairs?"

"Yes."

"Did you pass out at all that you know?" She just shook her head.

"No, I was conscious the whole time."

They were writing down things on their pads. When Lorelai heard something from the outside of the house. "I have to see her..."

 _Babette._ _They probably weren't letting her into the house. And Lorelai cringed, knowing something loud was about to…_ "LORELAI, DOLL, THEY WON'T LET ME IN. I WILL COME OVER WHEN THEY LEAVE."

She smiled just a little. And then she smiled a bit more when watching the officers in front of her with their eyes open. And she just reassured them, "She means well."

Getting back to the questions, they asked her, "What happened next?"

"He picked me up, and threw me on the couch." She couldn't stop talking and feel the fear. "I tried to get up, and spit in his face, and got away to the door." She skipped over the parts of what he had said to her – she hadn't processed that yet.

 _She cried out in pain when he threw her against the wall. Her shoulders hit first, causing her head to hit violently. Her hair fell over her face. He pushed her arms to the wall with his arms, giving him full access to her face. His lips were on hers. Her mouth was still bleeding – and his rough kiss burned._

 _Then it hit her._

 _She was right by her coat. If she could just get to her coat pocket. Her knife was in there. The knife she had taken out of Luke's toolbox when he had left here alone for the first night. She had carried it with her when she went to the lawyer's office._

 _But her hands were pinned to the wall._

 _So she stopped fighting him. She let her arms just be held without trying to get him away from her. She stopped kicking at him. She stopped turning her mouth away from him. If she could just get her arms down, she could maybe protect herself. She let her head fall after his lips left hers. She closed her eyes, not wanting him to see the fire that still burned in her – that she wasn't done fighting. She was just being smart._

 _He let her arms fall. And then he bent to pull down her pants, and she felt her skin crawl at the touch of his fingers on her skin._

 _But she was focues on something else. She slowly slipped her hand into the pocket of her coat. She felt the cold metal against her skin and felt for the hilt._

 _And his knee pushed her legs open – instinctively she whimpered, from past memories._

 _And now he was saying things, focused on her neck – biting into her skin, so he didn't see her pull the knife out and conceal it behind her back._

 _"And then you'd be mine." She felt her body shake at that thought. She grabbed the knife steadily in her hand, getting a good grip on it._

 _Do I have the strength to do this? She questioned herself. I have been raped so many times, would one more time really hurt me?_

 _Then he said Rory's name._

 _And that was it._

 _She waited until his body was focused on what he was about to do. He looked down, positioning himself._

 _And she took a deep breath, and with all her might, she plunged the large knife into the side of his body. She could feel the blade rip through flesh. She could feel resistance farther in. But she just shoved it as hard as she could._

"And then I called 911." She said.

The officer looked at her again, and said, "Now, did you have to defend yourself against him again? Because there were more injuries to him than just the one stab wound."

She nodded. "He tried to leave. And I told him not to. He then tried to take the knife away from me. I defended myself against him."

Everyone just nodded and said, "Thank you."

"Is there anything else you need from me?" She asked, her mind already ten steps ahead.

They closed their pads they had been taking notes on, and the officer who had been questioning her asked, "Do you need us to call anyone for medical attention?"

She looked down at her body. She was covered in blood – but it wasn't hers. Her arms were bruised. She knew her lip was busted open, and her jaw was probably sporting a nice bruise. And she just shook her head. "No. The blood isn't mine." _And this was nothing. She had experienced so much more with no medical attention._

"Well then, we'll file the report, and will be in contact with you as far as the next steps." He walked over to her, and she stood up and shook his hand he extended. "Call us if you need anything else, Miss Gilmore."

She nodded.

It was a few more minutes before they were done collecting evidence. And she decided that while they were here, she would go up and change out of these clothes before she had to leave. She ignored the memories flooding to her about earlier that night in her room as she pulled on a pair of jeans, one of her shirts, and slid her feet into a random pair of shoes. She twisted her hair up and pinned it quickly before she walked down the stairs and grabbed her keys, purse, and coat.

She walked past the crime scene. Past the flashing lights. And she got in the jeep, started it, and drove down the road – knowing that there was something so much more important that she had to find and rescue.

She pulled out her phone and called Rory's phone.

It rang and rang.

Then she called again.

And again.

She was on her way to yale. She was going to get her daughter. Make sure she was safe. Take care of her. Bring her home where she could protect her. It still shook her to the core that Jason knew something about Rory – something about Logan. And she wasn't going to stop until she brought her home – even if it was kicking and screaming.

She kept calling. It was about ten minutes before she heard a voice answer. "Mom, seriously?"

"Rory, where are you?" She asked, anger and fear colliding in her voice.

"That's none of your business."

Now she was screaming. "Where the hell are you! I asked you where you are. I am your mother. You will tell me. Now."

The line on the other end was silent for a few seconds.

Then a sarcastic voice said, "I went away for the weekend with Logan."

Lorelai's heart fell. _Where to?_ "Where?"

"Really mom? Really?"

She used her mom voice. The voice she hated using with her daughter – but this was the time. "Fucking really, Rory."

"Fine. We went with Logan's parents to Martha's Vineyard."

Lorelai pulled the jeep over to side of the road. _She is gone. Away. With a boy that I don't know – with a boy that Jason knew._

"I want you to come home. Now."

Her daughter's angry voice flew back at her. "We will be home on Monday. We can talk then."

"Rory, no…"

But she was interrupted, "And I'm turning my phone off. So just leave me alone and I'll see you in a few days…"

And the line went dead.


	50. Chapter 50

**ITS THE 50TH CHAPTER! SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN IF EVERYONE WHO READS THIS - ABOUT TO HIT 14,000, SO I KNOW YALL ARE OUT THERE - I WANT EVERYONE TO REVIEW AND WRITE WHAT THEIR FAVORITE CHAPTER/SCENE WAS AND WHY IT WAS :) DOESNT THAT SOUND FUN?**

Lorelai banged both of her hands on the steering wheel.

"Rory!" she said, angry and afraid at the same time. She knew her daughter wasn't aware of the danger – _Hell, I'm not even sure about what the danger is._ She was so afraid of what was going on. _I know what men will do to a woman – what if Logan …_ _my sweet baby._

She brushed the tears away from her eyes. _Lorelai Gilmore, you have to be strong. You can't break down now. You have to go get her._

And with that she turned the car around, back towards Star's Hollow.

Only when she reached the diner did she realize that there was no reason to be here. She should keep driving to the coast. She needed to get to Rory right away.

But this logic was in her head all the while she was walking up to the diner. It was only 5:30, but she could see him taking chairs off of the table.

 _She had held it together the whole night._ She tapped on the window.

He looked up, and concern immediately flooded his face. He hurried over to the door.

She just stood there, her arms crossed, waiting for that door to open. And she could feel herself breaking down. Her hands started to shake. Her head started to throb, probably due to the bruise that she was sure marked her face. Her knees started to shake.

And the door finally opened.

And she flew into his arms. She felt the sorrow in her chest as she started to gasp for breath. Once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. Lorelai bent forward with her head on his chest, she began to cry with the force of a person vomiting on all fours.

"She… she…" She tried to talk. She had to tell him about Rory. But he just hushed her, holding her head softly against his chest. Which only made the tears fall faster feeling him tenderly holding her.

After a few minutes, she had stopped shaking because of how hard she was crying.

She tried to talk again. "Rory's in trouble." She stepped away from him so she could look at him. And his reaction amazed her.

His eyes got wide. His face froze, and fear dripped from every word he said after that. "What? How? Where?"

She just closed her eyes as she remembered how horrible dinner had been with Rory. "She's got a boyfriend." Jason's words echoed in her mind. _I would check out Rory's boyfriend if I were you before you fight against us in court_ "He's trouble."

Luke asked, "But how and…"

"She ran off with him for the weekend. I called her and told her to come home. But she wouldn't." She knew there was so much more to explain to him. The fear that the information had come from Jason. The fear of what someone who knew Jason could do to her daughter.

Then she added, "She was high when we had dinner."

Look looked like a deer in the headlights. Lorelai continued, "And drunk. And when I tried to bring her home, she cussed me out, called her boyfriend to come get her, and left."

"Rory did that?" He asked, "No, you had to be dreaming."

Lorelai ran her hands through her hair, and said, "Trust me, all last night I tossed and turned, wishing that I had dreamed it."

When her hair pulled back, she noticed he could see the bruise on her face. He inhaled sharply. "What happened?"

She chuckled to herself. _Leave it to me to tell him about Rory and forget about the fact that Jason broke in._ "Have you really not heard about it yet? I thought it would be all over town."

"Lorelai, it's five thirty in the morning, of course I haven't heard about it yet." Then he directed her back to the conversation at hand. "What happened? Are you hurt any where other than your face and your lip?"

She was amazed that this was as easy to tell him as it was – this hadn't broke her heart as much as the fact that Rory was in trouble. "Jason broke into the house this morning."

And he was angry. "What the hell? That son of a bitch."

It was only then that she realized he didn't know anything about Jason after that night in the Inn when he had met Jason – the night of their first kiss. To Luke, he was just an ex-boyfriend.

And she couldn't tell him tonight. She had to go get Rory. So she just shortened and under-exaggerated the wholse story. "He broke in, pushed me around a bit, and I called the police and they came to get him."

"There has to be more to this story. Why would he break in? What did he do to you?"

She just shook her head, and said, "I know there's more, but I can't stop and talk about this when I have to go get Rory."

"Where at?"

She pulled her coat around her, and said, "At his parent's vacation home on Martha's vineyard."

"Hold on, I'm coming with you." He said, turning to grab his keys from the counter.

Lorelai just said, "Thanks for offering." And he turned around with surprise. And she hoped that he would understand when she said, "I have to do this."

 _Please know it's not personal. Please know that I just have to go take care of this – I have to get her back. I am strong enough to get her. I have to be. It's not that I don't … care for him._

Something about her face must have told him that she was serious about this. He just nodded. And said, "Please call me if you need me. I'll be there in hours." And then he said, as she was out on the steps of the diner. "Let me know when you get back." He motioned behind him. "I'll have coffee and food for you."

She smiled at him thankfully, knowing he didn't understand – but he respected her enough to let her do what she had to do.

He stood there on the steps and waved as she drove away. _It was nice._

She drove down the road, knowing she had to hit the highway to the coast. She remembered as a kid going to the vineyard on vacations. _Complete hell, stuck in a vehicle with both of her parents for almost three hours._

Her parents.

That was the next hard thing she had to do. She drove as the sum began coming up – and she put it off as long as possible. She hated the fact that they had information that she needed. They knew almost everyone on the island – at least those people who were well-off enough to have their own vacation homes. They would know where the Huntzberger's home was located. Holding the cell phone in her hand, she drove about one hour of the three before she gathered the courage to call her parents. By now, they were both up – they were insanely early risers – something that as a teenager, she had wondered whether she was adopted.

She called the number.

 _I have to do this for Rory._

They were going to want to know why she needed to know. They would wonder why she was going down to get Rory from her boyfriend's family's house. They would want to know what she was doing driving down there. And she didn't think they should know – she didn't want to tell them anything about her life. Ever.

Her mother answered. "Hello?" _Chipper for being so early._ Lorelai thought.

She couldn't say anything right away.

"Hello? Is anyone there?

She took a deep breath. "Mom, it's me."

Her mother's voice lowered, almost like she was having trouble cathing her breath. "Lorelai?"

"I am still angry with you. I'm not calling to apologize. I don't ever want to see either of you again."

Confused, her mother asked, "You called just to say this?"

When Lorelai didn't respond, her mother just said, "You need something." She said it like it was a burden. Like Loreial was asking her to buy her a new car. "That's the only reason you would call."

Being as matter of fact as she could, Lorelai just said, "I need to know what the Huntzberger's address on Martha's Vineyard is."

And now she expected the reaming out – the interrogation as to why she needed this.

But instead all she heard was, "Let me check."

 _What the hell?_ Lorelai thought. _Who has abducted my mother and inhabited her body?_ She was so flabbergasted that she was still thinking about how crazy it was that her mother wasn't questioning her that she was startled when her mother said, "Here it is." She read off the address.

And then her mother asked, "Lorelai is everything alright?"

Sarcastically, she said, "Yes, Mom. Everything is completely fine. I mean why wouldn't it be? I call you at six thirty in the morning asking for some random person's address that's three hours away. And I'm sure my voice is completely calm too. So what would make you think that something is wrong?"

The line was quiet for a second, and Loreial could tell that her mother was about to start yelling. But instead, all she said was, "I'm going to call the boating marina to have a driver for the boat ready for you. It's pier 4."

She knew she would have to cross to the island, but she had just expected to take a ferry, which, of course would have taken about twice as long as a private boat.

And she was unable to say anything. So she just said, "Goodbye."

And then she heard words she hadn't expected to hear ever in her life – she couldn't remember the last time her mother had said those words to her – if ever – but her mother just responded, "I love you."

Lorelai hung up the phone. And she drove. Her mind completely and utterly overwhelmed by what had transpired tonight.


	51. Chapter 51

The house sickened her. The large, prestigious vacation home was about three times as large as her normal house.

She stepped out of the taxi that she had rented after crossing the canal. Her entire body ached – she was sure it had more to do with her fall down the flight of stairs rather than the long car drive. She told the taxi to wait, not worrying about how much it would cost – it might take a bit.

She walked up to the overwhelming front door, and she smelled the salt in the air – the dampness of the winter even more evident against her face. The wind blew her hair across her face, and she knocked on the door and brushed it back.

The door opened. _A maid? At a summer house? In the middle of winter?_ "May I help you?"

 _Lovely of her to ask me in._ She thought, shivering. "Yes, I am here to pick up Rory Gilmore."

The maid gestured her in. "I will let her know you are here."

"Thank you." _Boy, she is going to be so surprised to see me._

She was left standing there in the immense foyer all alone. She could have hosted a party in there if she had wanted to. She just stood there, watching the maid go up the stairs, and waiting for her to come back with a protesting Rory.

But she saw movement to her right. And she turned to find Logan walking towards her. _That asshole. With such a smug look on his face._

"Lorelai. I wasn't expecting to see you here." He said, most pleasantly. He extended his hand to her. But she didn't take it. Not because she was being rude. But because her eyes were fixated on the man that had walked in behind Logan.

Her entire body seized up. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. _She couldn't breathe._ She felt her stomach turning, and she gagged just a bit in her mouth. Her body shuddered. Again and again. She backed away from him. Backed right up into the door.

The man.

 _Tears streamed out of her eyes, and she looked up to the only thing that she could see – the man's face that was taking such pleasure in what was happening._

 _He pushed himself even farther down her throat, using her hair to angle her head back to get maximum depth._

The face.

"Lorelai, this is my father, Mitchum." She heard a voice call from somewhere in the distance.

But she met his eyes. And she could see the evil in them. And his face looked evil, just like that night, again.

His mouth moved. And she tuned back into reality to hear him say, "Logan, I believe I've already had the pleasure of meeting Miss Gilmore. I just think her name escaped me." But he extended his hand to her, making her realize how close he was to her. She just stood there, staring up at him.

"Logan, would you go get Rory for me?" Mitchum asked. "I think her mother is here to see her." Logan left and walked up the stairs, leaving her alone with him.

She still couldn't think of anything to say.

So he said, "I had hoped I would get to see you again." He moved closer, and gazed down her body. "I wanted to thank you for the amazing night we had."

She could feel him towering above her. She still couldn't speak. She was having trouble just taking air in.

He extended his hand out to touch her face.

And she got her voice back.

"Get your fucking hands off of me." She whispered.

He stepped back, surprised, then sarcastically said, "The first words I've heard you say." Then he stared at her mouth. And said, "You were… tongue-tied last time."

Then he whispered so just she could hear him, "I don't think your daughter wants to leave with you." Then he sneered. "I know Christopher thought she would love it here too."

 _Rory._ She thought. "Rory! RORY!" She started screaming. "Get the hell down here now!" She pushed past him and called up the stairs. "We're leaving now. Get your coat and let's go!"

She could feel him walking up behind her, and she twisted around and faced him square on. "If you've hurt her, I swear I will chop off your dick and shove it down YOUR throat."

The look on his face was one of astonishment. And amusement.

But the sound from the stairs was of complete horror. "Mom! What the fuck?"

She turned to see her daughter walking down the stairs. She looked ok. There were no bruises on her face, but she was wearing a sweater – so she might have some underneath, and she was wearing jeans, so Loreial couldn't tell if she was hurt or not.

"Rory," She asked frantically, "Are you ok? Did they hurt you?"

Rory was mortified. Lorelai could tell. She knew her questions didn't make any sense to her daughter, but she didn't have time to explain.

"Mom. Stop. You're going crazy again." Rory said, like an arrow to her heart. "Go home. I'm not leaving. I'm having a fun time."

Lorelai didn't have time to feel hurt. She had to get Rory out of here. "We can talk about everything on the way home. Come on. Get your stuff."

Rory just sank down on the stairs. Crossed her arms in defiance. And said, "I'm not going. You can't make me."

Lorelai wanted nothing more than to start crying right then and there. She was so scared at this moment. He was right behind her. She could feel him behind her. Her daughter was refusing to come with her, choosing to stay here with a monster.

But she couldn't start crying. She just couldn't. She had to be strong – for her daughter who thought her mother was crazy. She had to get out. Now.

And with that, Lorelai started up the stairs, and she watched Rory's eyes grow wide. "I said it's time to go."

"Get the hell away from me!" Rory cried.

But Lorelai did something she never wanted to do again. She grabbed her daughter's arm, trying not to be abusive, but knowing that she had to save her. It was like if Rory was drowning, she would have to pull her to the surface. And right now – the surface was the door. And the water around her that was suffocating her was the man down at the foot of the stairs.

"I said we're leaving."

She heard his voice again. "You can't make the girl leave if she doesn't want to."

She was looking down on him now.

 _Two knees surrounded her face, holding her neck immobilized in place. "It's time, bitch." He said, towering over her. She just shook her head as little as she could. He grabbed her hair in his large hands to hold her even more in place. But he couldn't make her open her mouth. She clenched her jaw shut, tight against the assault that was happening on her lips by it right now. His face reddened, but it didn't get angry… She opened her mouth to scream in agony, but was immediately gagged and choked the minute she opened her mouth. Her scream was muffled, coming out like gurgling as she felt her throat constrict against the foreign object now lodged down her windpipe._

Rory pulled away, but Lorelai held on. And she pulled her down the stairs. Rory was smart enough to walk down so she didn't send the both of them flying. "Let me fucking go, you crazy-ass bitch." Boy was Rory in fine form right now.

They were on the main floor, and Rory managed to wriggle out of her mother's grasp.

Lorelai summoned even more strength to use her mom-voice. "This is mother-daughter time." She said, knowing Rory would understand that at this moment they weren't best friends. She was reminding her daughter that she was her mother. "We are leaving. You don't have a choice."

Rory's eyes filled with fire. And she started to run her mouth again. "You gave up the fucking mother time already. When you left me. You don't get to just come in and ruin my life because you're going bat-shit crazy. This is my boyfriend's father. You can't talk to him like you did. You don't get to come in and try to be all motherly after you left me. I won't let you."

Lorelai knew what Rory said would hurt later. But her adrenaline was rushing as it had been all morning. So she was still focused on the door. "Rory you can think all of these things. You can yell them at me and scream and cuss and hit me and do whatever you have to do to deal with your anger. You can do whatever you want as long as we get out of this house."

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Lorelai, I think it's time for you to leave."

 _She felt her lips overtaken by a hungry mouth, feeling teeth that bit at her bottom lip. She looked at him while he kissed her. His eyes were angry, full of lust, and full of power. She turned her head to pull away from him, her mouth being a very sensitive part to her – kissing was always her way of showing her love for the person she was sleeping with. This just mocked her. She pulled away, and for a minute, his mouth slipped from hers, and she inhaled. But his large hand grabbed her jaw, and wrenched her head back to his, and now not only was he biting at the edges of her mouth, but his tongue snaked its way into hers, tangling with hers – and she wanted to just puke a little right there._

She turned around and with all her might, she threw her elbow into his face, sending him tumbling backwards.

So many things happened at the same time.

She yelled at him, "Jesus Christ, if you ever fucking touch me again, I'll kill you."

Rory screamed, "MOM! Stop."

Mitchum yelled in pain, "Holy shit! Bitch you will pay for this."

But it was the voice at the top of the stairs that said, "Rory, I think you should go with your mom." _Logan._ He stood there, holding Rory's bags. His face was sad, not angry. And he just looked right at Rory, making eye contact with her. She knew they were communicating.

She knew she should be grateful that he said she should leave. But Mitchum had gotten to his feet, and was walking towards her. Her heart still pounding, she searched around the room for some sort of weapon to use. But Logan was down the stairs.

"Dad, stop. Let them leave. They're going."

Mitchum's face was covered in blood from his nose. He looked at his son, and said, "No. They're not leaving. Not after that." He was angry and was still coming at her.

"Rory. Get out. Now." Logan yelled, throwing her bags at Lorelai, who was closest to the door. When Rory didn't move, he yelled even louder, "I said get the fuck out Rory." He stepped in front of his father and Lorelai. "Dad, stop. Let them leave. Just get them out of the house."

Rory had picked up her bag, and had moved behind Lorelai and moved out of the house.

Mitchum had now shoved Logan out of the way, and was just one step away from Lorelai. "Fine, bitch. Leave." And then he smiled, blood filling his mouth. "Watch your daughter. She looks like she just might be a comparison to you. Tell her to keep her legs together and mouth closed."

Lorelai had an escape. She knew she should get out of the house right now. She knew freedom was just a few steps away.

But the thought of this man and Rory – the thought that he would think – before she knew what she was doing, she lunged at him. She didn't judge the massive height difference. She didn't judge the fact that he was a muscular man. She didn't think.

With claws extended, a scream ultimately animal came from her throat – almost a growl – she took him off guard, her fingernails raking down his face.

He yelled, grabbed both of her wrists, and squeezed. She screamed in pain. And he brought her face close to his. And he threatened once more. "I already paid Jason for a night with you. Just you, me, and your worst nightmare."

And he let go of her arms and pushed her towards the door. She stumbled out, her arms stinging. And her stomach turning. She ran out to the taxi, and opened the door and got in and told the driver to take them to the pier.

But halfway out of the driveway, she told the driver to pull over. And she opened her door and puked.


	52. Chapter 52

Lorelai pulled into the driveway of the house. As she put the jeep into park, she sat back and let out a deep breath.

"How did we drive literally three hours and not say one word to each other?" She asked, turning to Rory, who was slouched down in her seat, arms crossed in defiance in front of her, staring out of her window, ignoring her mother.

"Kind of like you lived literally three months without talking to me." Rory threw back. She unbuckled, grabbed her purse and bag from the backseat and started walking into the house.

Lorelai closed her eyes, so exhausted and sore. The one goal of the day – to get Rory back – was accomplished, and her energy level was fading. She didn't know if she had the strength to fight another battle today. But as she watched Rory light a cigarette before walking into the house, Lorelai knew she would have to.

She walked into the house, and was greeted by an even angrier Rory.

"Mom, what the fuck is all over the floor?"

 _The attack this morning._ She thought. "Rory, it's blood. I'll have someone come and clean it tomorrow."

She stepped over the dried puddles of blood, and walked into the kitchen where Rory stood in her room. Rory was looking at her, her eyes wide in anger. "So now it's normal for there to be puddles of blood in the house?" She took another puff of her cigarette, and then said, "What shit world are we living in when I walk into my house and find blood all over?"

"Really, Rory? Really? Is that what you think is the problem here?" Lorelai said, feeling her emotional barrier falling – and she knew that the exchange was going to be raw, uncensored, and horrible. But it would be what it was.

Rory shrugged her shoulders, and then said, "Yeah, I do wanna talk about the fucking blood in the hallway. Ever since you got home, life's been shitty. And you expect everything to be normal."

"Someone broke into the house this morning." Lorelai said, "I had to defend myself. Then I didn't have time to clean the floor because I had to come after you."

Rory exhaled cigarette smoke and said, "You didn't have to come get me! I'm an adult. I'm making my own decisions. What the hell don't you understand about that, Mom?"

Lorelai took a deep breath. "You want to be treated like an adult How about acting like one?" Rory started to yell back at her, but she held her own. "No, an adult doesn't start doing drugs. And drinking underage."

"This adult does." Rory retorted.

"You didn't even tell me where you were staying, Rory! That's not what we do. We tell each other everything."

Rory drilled her eyes into Lorelai's, and said, "No, we DID. We don't anymore."

"What the hell does that mean?" Rory took another puff of her cigarette, and Lorelai again said, "Put that fucking thing out. Now."

Rory held her mother's stare. And put the cigarette to her mouth. And then she exhaled. And said, "Make me."

Lorelai's mouth opened in astonishment. It took her a minute before she could say something. "What happened to you, Rory? What did I do to you to make you be this way?"

"Make me this way?" She spat out at her mother. "This is me. I'm doing fine on my own, Mom. I was doing fine on my own before you came home."

Tears came to Lorelai's eyes as it registered what Rory was saying. "You mean you want me to go away again so you can live like you want to?"

"I just want you to not judge me for my life choices."

Throwing her hands up in the air, Lorelai walked back into the kitchen. "Fine, go ahead and make your own choices. Go ahead and be a drug addict. Be an alcoholic. I just know you have so much more potential. You always wanted more than this for yourself."

"All of that changed when you came back."

Confused, Lorelai turned around and asked, "What does that even mean? What did me coming back do? I thought you wanted me to be here?"

Rory rolled her eyes. "I wanted you to come back. You have no idea how many times I laid in that bed and cried myself to sleep just wanting my mother to come home." And then she stopped and stared down at her feet. And then it seemed like she changed the subject.

"I lived on my own before I even graduated from high school." Rory screamed. And Lorelai could see tears coming to her eyes as she yelled, "I had to learn to live on my own because my fucking mother couldn't stand up to her deadbeat husband and come home and take care of me!"

She cringed. _That hurt._ "Rory, you know it wasn't my choice to be away from you!" She said, bringing her voice down a level. "I would have come home right away, but.."

"Do me a favor and don't lie to me." Rory sarcastically shot back at her.

"I'm not lying." She said, "All I wanted was to come home and be with you. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you." Her heart was breaking. She had been so concerned in her recovery that she hadn't focused on the fact that Rory must be hurting too.

Rory pushed past her, walked into the kitchen, and slammed her hand down on the table. "You left me. You fucking left me in that hospital." She screamed, now her face was filled with tears. "I woke up so confused, so lost. All I wanted was YOU!" She pointed her finger at her mother, and said. "They had to tell me over and over that you weren't dead. – I thought he had killed you after I passed out. I was convinced because the mother that I knew, my MOM, she would never just leave me."

"Oh, Rory." Lorelai stepped towards her daughter, wanting only to hold her.

But Rory stepped away from her. "You couldn't even send a letter to me? Letting me know you were ok?" Lorelai could tell her daughter was hurting, so much. "You weren't there when I graduated from Chilton. You weren't there at my first day of college. You weren't there when I had five surgeries on my arms. You. Weren't. Fucking. There." And she leaned over the table, crying and trembling with anger.

Lorelai could barely move. She herself was hunched over, her head between her knees, sobbing and shaking with sorrow. _Chris, you did this. You took me away from my baby. And now I have to live with the aftermath of that._

And Rory continued her rant. "And then I come home one night to find my mother sitting in the dark in my room with Luke telling him about how you were stuck in a horrible place." Rory stared right at Lorelai. "And that you stayed there only because you didn't want me to get hurt."

Lorelai had thought her heart was broken as much as it could possibly be broken. But this? This hurt. "Rory."

"Mom, I can't even sleep at night without imagining what happened to you. And knowing that if I wasn't alive, you could have escaped." Rory's voice was no longer yelling.

"That's not what I meant, Rory."

Rory just shook her head, like she didn't believe her.

Lorelai stepped closer to her daughter, and this time, Rory didn't move away. "I would do anything for you, Rory." She got close enough to reach out and touch her shoulder. Rory looked up at her, eyes glistening with tears. "None of what happened to me is at all your fault." Lorelai was crying too. "In fact, there were days that I wanted to die. I just wanted to curl up and die."

A pained look came to her daughter's face, and Lorelai finished. "But on those days, you know what the only thing that kept me from killing myself?" She lifted Rory's chin to look up at her. "You. I would just imagine holding your in my arms again. Just seeing your face again. Darling, you kept me alive."

"Mom." She said, and fell into Lorelai's arms. Lorelai just snuggled her face in Rory's hair. And they both cried. Together.


	53. Chapter 53

Luke took the light on in the living room to think that they were home. He knocked on the door, stepping back and looking at his toolbox in his hand. Ever since hearing about the break in, he planned to come over and install new locks and deadbolts.

He heard the door unlock, and looked up.

"Lorel…"

She quieted him, putting a finger on her lips, and, after looking behind her to the living room, stepped outside and shut the door behind her, pulling her sweater tight around her and pulling her sleeves down over her hands.

"I just got her to sleep." She said, "Oh, Luke, I forgot to call you and tell you we were back." She sent him a sad look. "It's been so crazy…"

He just nodded, knowing she would have called if she would have remembered. Then he held up his tookbox and said, "I just came by to put some new locks on."

"Luke." She whispered, "What would I do without you?"

He didn't want her to think about that question. He didn't want her to think about living without him. So he distracted her by asking, "How is she?"

Lorelai walked over to the steps and sat down, and, of course, Luke followed. She just sat there, her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands. "Luke, I didn't think about how hard it must have been for her when I was gone." She just shook her head, "She was so hurt that I left her."

Luke wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault. That she had no choice. That in no world would Lorelai voluntarily give up her daughter. _But she knows that already._

"She really was lost the first few weeks she was home." Luke said, remembering the many times the little girl had fled to him just needing to be with someone.

Lorelai watched his face, and then asked, "How bad was it?" Then she said, "She said something about surgeries? Was she in a lot of pain? What happened?" Now she was crying, "I can' believe I did this."

Luke put his hand on the small of her back, just to comfort her. "Lorelai you know that this wasn't your fault. You know you wouldn't have left her if you didn't think it would keep her safe…"

"But in trying to keep her safe, I've just hurt her even more. And now…" She choked through tears, "Now she hates me."

Her head fell into his lap. And he just stroked her hair as she laid there and cried. "She doesn't hate you, Lorelai. I promise she doesn't. She's just hurt."

She sat up. "And she is in so deep with the drugs, smoking, drinking." She sounded so defeated. "I don't know what I'm going to do." She looked up at him, and said, "I had to literally pull her out of that house. Like, grab her arm, pull her down the stairs, drag her out of the house. All the time she was yelling at me."

 _Rory? How? How much different could she really be?_ "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. We got home and screamed at each other. Then she fell asleep on the couch. And now…" She turned to the house, "I have to talk with my lawyer tomorrow to discuss the trial."

"Your lawyer?" He asked, "I thought you fired your dad's lawyer?"

She nodded, "Mia's husband, Greg, is a lawyer. And he's going to take my case."

A small smile came to his face. "You went to see Mia."

She nodded. "It was just what I needed."

"Of course it was." He said, "She's your real mother figure."

She wiped the tears away from her face, and said, "I wish I knew what I was supposed to do with Rory."

He just stood up, and said, "Just love her. It's worked before. It will work again."

Then he looked down at his toolbox and said, "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to put a new lock on it? Or?"

She looked up at him, stood to her feet, and said, "Babette had Morey came over and put a new deadbolt on."

 _This town sure could be a little bit annoying at times – actually, a whole lot annoying – but the people – they meant well._

"She left me a note on the door. It was sweet."

He didn't have an excuse to stay. But he wanted to. He didn't want to leave them alone. He didn't want to leave Lorelai here without protection. But most of all, he didn't want to leave her because it hurt him every time he had to say goodbye.

"Coffee and donuts tomorrow at the diner?" He asked her, and saw a smile come to her face. "I'll save the sprinkles?"

She just nodded. And he could see her eyes twinkle. And they were standing so close together. So close.

"Goodnight Luke." She said.

"Goodnight Lorelai."


	54. Chapter 54

Rory rolled over, and fell right off of the couch. "Owww." She said, still groggy as she sat up. She scrunched her face up as she wondered how she woke up on the floor of the living room. _Falling asleep on the couch was a bad idea._ She thought, as she remembered falling in complete exhaustion onto the couch the night before.

As she stood up, she winced in pain and thought. _More than one reason not to fall asleep on the couch._ "Mom?" She called out as she walked to the kitchen to find her coffee.

"Upstairs, honey."

She looked at the empty coffee pot. And the empty tin can beside her. And she just called. "Mom!"

"I know there's no coffee. We're going to Luke's."

 _Funny how she knew exactly what I was asking her._ She smiled to herself.

"But the pre-Luke's walk?" She yelled, but was startled as her mother walked into the kitchen just as she yelled at her.

Her mother just smiled down at her, a patronizing smile. "It's ok. I realized that I really can make it all the way to Luke's. just gives me an excuse to have extra cups there."

Rory just shook her head. And said, "Not ok."

Her mother was dressed up nicely, an adorable pair of business pants, and her super adorable grey vest that made even college students at Yale check her mother out as she walked past. Using as little words as she could manage, Rory asked, "Why dressed nice?"

"Meeting lawyer. Ten am." Her mother was mocking her. And of course, she continued. "Need coffee. Leave now. Go Luke's. Or die."

Rory rolled her eyes, smiled, and went to get her coat on.

She heard her mother walk up behind her, and said, "Honey, you're still in your pajamas."

A few minutes later they were both walking all the way to Lukes – something that seemed so hard and impossible to Rory without coffee. Her head was pounding. She didn't know if it was from the lack of coffee or something else. She supposed something else. But she thought maybe the coffee would help.

They finally arrived at Luke's to be greeted by so many loud people.

"Rory! Honey!" Miss Patty exclaimed. "It's so good to see you!"

And Babette, "Dollface, you look so much smarter!"

And Kirk. "I have a cat named Kirk."

Rory gave hugs to both of the women and said, "Good for you, Kirk."

Then she followed her mother to an open table, and laid her head on the table. "I need coffee." She said, but it sounded like "I mursh yatzee." From where she had faceplanted into the table.

"Well, I seem to have two cups of coffee waiting right here." Luke's voice hit her ears. She looked up, and grabbed the cup out of his hands, and started sipping. "Careful its.."

"HOT." Rory exclaimed, her mouth on fire.

Her mom smiled at her, "Of course, that's how coffee should be." The turned to Luke, "And do you have the…"

"Donuts."

"With sprinkles?"

Luke set down a plate full of donuts with so many sprinkles that both Rory and her mother squealed in delight.

Luke just grinned at Rory. "Well, I guess you're back and welcomed right into the craziness."

Rory rolled her eyes and said, "If only you knew."

Her mother, her mouth full of donut, said, "She's mad because we're out of coffee."

Now it was Luke's turn to roll his eyes. "She gets that from YOU." And he gestured to her mother with the coffee pot.

"Hey don't point that thing at me." Then added with a dirty smile on her face that was covered in sprinkles and frosting, "Unless you're going to use it."

Luke just walked away.

"No, I mean it. I need more coffee." She said, donut crumbs flying through the air. When he didn't turn around, she turned back to Rory, and said, "I don't think we should leave him a tip today."

Rory just stared at her mother, her deadpan face on. "Mom. You just spit donut crumbs at him. I think he gets double tip today."

Luke said from behind the counter, "Or triple. Some crumbs got into the coffee pot and I have to make a whole new pot."

Rory watched her mother send him a fake snarl, then turn back to her and said, "So, what are your plans for the day?"

Now it was Rory's turn to have food in her mouth. But she didn't let that stop her from saying, "I don't know. I wasn't exactly planning to be here right now."

She could tell that her mother was searching her face for signs of resentment. But Rory didn't want to get into anything right now. So she just said, "But probably will try and catch up on some reading. Maybe go see Lane."

Her mother started breathing again. And said, "Well, I have a meeting today at ten, then thought we could hang out? Maybe go shopping? Then a movie later?"

The thought of hanging out with her mother all day was so burdensome. And that really was hard for Rory to accept, because that had never been a problem before. But she couldn't exactly get away – or say she had plans. Because she didn't. So she just nodded, and said, "Sure, sounds fine to me."

They sat there, rather awkwardly, not really having anything to talk about. Rory had never been so thankful for Kirk before in her life.

"Um. Luke. I think there's a bug in my toast."

Luke didn't look up from the counter. "Take it out then."

Kirk just looked at his plate. And said, "I don't want to touch it."

Luke rolled his eyes. And said, "Well, do you want a new piece?"

Kirt just shook his head. "That would be a waste." Then he picked up the piece of toast and took a bite. And then another. Until his mouth was full of the entire piece.

Both Rory and her mother looked at each other and shuddered.

"Kirk, why did you just eat that?" Luke asked. Everyone in the diner was looking.

Once Kirk swallowed the bread, he said, "I wasn't sure if it was a bug or just a piece of the oats. And I didn't want to take the chance of passing up a perfectly good piece of toast."

Luke just blinked a couple of times. And then started, "But if there was a chance that it was a bug… and you ate it…" He didn't finish, knowing it wouldn't matter anyway.

Rory looked at her mother, and her mother looked at her, and they tried so hard not to laugh. They bit their tongues, kicked each other under the table. But it was to no avail. And they busted out laughing – crumbs going everywhere. And the whole diner was looking at them.

And Luke said, "A whole new pot of coffee because of crumbs."

And they laughed harder


	55. Chapter 55

**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW**

Lorelai walked to the house with Rory and then got into the jeep to drive to the Inn. Mia's husband, Greg, was going to meet her there to have a private place to discuss the whole thing. She was so nervous. She was so scared to talk about things. But she had to get it over with. Then the trial could go on. And they could put Chris away. And everything would get back to normal.

 _What about Jason? And Mitchum? And everyone else?_

She pushed those thoughts out of her head, not wanting to deal with them. She had to focus on Chris.

She arrived at the Independence Inn, and walked in, greeted by Michel. "So do you need a concierge at your house to help you return your phone calls?"

"Michel, I am sorry. I will talk with you in a few minutes. Is there someone here to see me this morning?"

"Sure, just ignore my question and want me to help you."

Lorelai used her boss voice. "Michel."

The man just pointed over to the couches. "There."

She walked over to the man. He smiled at her, and stood up. "Its not normal that I get to call my clients by their first names, but it's good to see you again, Lorelai."

She loved Mia's husband. He was so sweet and caring and had been helpful when he had drawn up the divorce papers the other day.

"My office is this way." She gestured for him to follow her. "I really feel bad that you drove this far to meet with me." She walked behind her desk, gesturing for him to have a seat. "I feel like we should have met halfway or something."

He just smiled, and said, "It was no problem at all. Mia wanted to come and see the old Inn, visit friends, and just relax. I think she might come and visit your Inn here later too."

That made her smile, thinking of her previous boss and wonderful friend coming and seeing what they had built pretty much from scratch.

Then he said, "Well, shall we get down to business?"

She just sat there, not wanting to talk about anything, but knew there was nothing else she could do. So she just nodded.

"So you're aware of the charges that are against him?"

She just shook her head, "Not really. I mean, I know what he did to me, but not sure what they're trying to get him convicted of."

Greg just pulled out a file, and started reading. "One charge of kidnapping. One charge of assault. And one charge of rape."

And he stopped.

"Wait, that's all?" She asked, incredulously.

He looked up at her, a knowing look on his face. "That was what I was afraid of."

She looked at him confused.

"Because I had a sinking suspicion that so much more happened. That you have so much charges to press against him."

She remembered Chris' smug look in the jail. When she had said no one controlled her. And he said. _For now._

Strength came from somewhere she didn't know, and she said, "I can't let him get away with what he did to me. Those charges will keep him locked up for how long?"

"Maybe a year."

 _A year? No. It couldn't be that this was the only way that she was going to be free from him. He has to stay away for longer than a year. Longer than a five year sentence._

Greg continued. "That's why I need you to be open and honest with me and talk about the hard things. Because once we can get them out and get some evidence of things that happened other than the night that they found you – that's what the case needs. That's what's going to put him away for a long time."

And that was where she got the strength to tell her story. That was where she got the resolve that she had to speak out. Even though putting the stories into words made them even more real – she knew that there was no other choice. She didn't have to suffer much longer – if they could put him away forever, her and Rory would be safe. And she could move on and live her life.

"What do you need to know?" She said, resolve in her eyes.

He took a deep breath. "When did it start?"

She just started answering his questions. She couldn't think about what she was saying. It just sounded so robotic. But it was getting out.

"When? After Rory was in the hospital?"

He nodded. "Because the charges against him were dropped with Rory, tell me everything after that. When did it start?"

"He forced me to leave the hospital with him. He said he would hurt my daughter if I didn't go with him."

"Did he physically make you go?"

She remembered back to the night at the hospital when he had reached inside her hospital gown and held her so tightly that she cried. "He grabbed me hard and threatened me if I called out for help."

"But he didn't take you against your will? Like he didn't stuff you in a car?"

"No." She said mechanically. "He just told me that he would hurt Rory if I didn't."

he wrote something on the paper. Then asked another question. "When he left, where did you go?"

"To the house in Boston."

"Ok. And did you ask him to stop? Did you tell him you wanted to go back?"

She thought back to the car ride home. "No. Because I was afraid of what he would do." She remembered his face, still angry. "He had just done something I never thought he was capable of." _Rory's blood all over everything._

"Now, when you got to the house, what happened next?"

She took a deep breath. "He made me have sex with him."

"Did you tell him you didn't want to?"

She just nodded her head. And said, "I asked him to stop. The whole time."

He wrote something down again. "And how many times did that happen?"

She met his eyes. And she could barely say anything, so her voice came out so quiet. "I don't remember. So many times."

He grimaced at her, and said, "I hate to ask you this, but I need you to try and think of a number."

She closed her eyes, not wanting to think about things back then. But she started thinking out loud. "Well, at least two or three times during the day. And that went on for… like two weeks before…"

"Before we move on, just so I know. Did he force you to have sex with him without your consent every time?"

Guilt crawled up her throat. "No. After a while, I just got used to it. I just let him do…" Her voice cracked. And she paused a moment before continuing. "It was easier for me if he just did what he wanted to do. Because fighting it only made him more violent.

Again looking down at his paper in front of him, he wrote something down then looked up at her. "You said it was two weeks before something else happened?"

"I don't know how to say this." She said.

"Just take your time."

She didn't want to take her time. She just wanted this to be over. She just wanted to leave this office. She just wanted to never think about this again.

He could see her hesitation, and said, "Lorelai, unfortunately, this isn't the last time you're going to have to talk about this. This is a safe place to practice before you have to get up in front of a judge, jury, and your ex-husband and tell this."

That gave her some resolve to go on – that she would have to say it again so to get it out now would only help her in the long run.

She took a deep breath. "It was about two weeks before he took me to his office. And let someone rape me."

His eyes grew wide. And she knew he wasn't judging her. But it still was weird. But he just asked her, "Do you know who it was?"

She wanted to lie. She knew that bringing anyone else into this was going to stretch out the trial – and after he had attacked her at her home, she was afraid that he would come after her and hurt her again. Or worse.

But she couldn't. She had lied to herself that she would be fine if just Chris went to prison. She had lied to Luke about how violent the break- in had been.

And she was done lying.

"It was Jason Styles." She whispered. Then said, "He was a business partner of Chris'."

He just nodded his head, writing again. And then he looked up at her, and said, "I'm so sorry."

She couldn't let herself feel. She had to keep this mechanical. But she smiled a little and said, "Thank you."

"Now, did Christopher stay there with you? Do you know his motivation for…"

She interrupted him. "Jason" She felt bile crawl up her throat. "… signed on to the insurance company that Chris was running. And Jason told me that I was an incentive for the business deal."

She was amazed at how smoothly she got through that.

And she heard him exhale loudly. "Well, this does bring in a whole other charge."

She just nodded. "You mean you can charge them with something for that?" She was hopeful for the first time in a while.

He met her eyes. "I don't know. I don't know how much evidence there would be to support it. But we will try as much as possible to make this stick."

He then asked, "Did you give consent to Jason?"

Her immediate response. "No. I fought him the whole time."

"Was Chris there?"

She remembered the locked door trapping her in. "No, he left. And came back after it was done."

She knew what the next question was going to be. And she didn't want to answer it.

"Was that the only time that he allowed other men to rape you?"

And now she started to cry. Because there was so much that she was going to have to talk through. There was so much that she had to say. So much that she could barely think, much less say. But she just had to get through it. And as she sat there, exposing her past for the lawyer in front of her, she hated what she was saying. She hated how they had made her feel. She hated how much shit they had put her through. And she realized that she had started to hate herself for everything.

She told him about the man in the bathroom. She told him about stabbing the man. She told him about how Jason had kicked her. How Chris had threatened her with a gun to her head.

And that was when she just stopped talking. She coulnd't talk about the rest of that night. She just couldn't.

And Greg just sat there, waiting. He didn't push her. He didn't try to ask her questions to goad her into telling him. He just waited as she summoned courage from somewhere. From somewhere.

And she knew exactly where it had come from. It came from that day with Rory there in the Hutzberger house. And she knew she had to protect her little girl. And so she opened her mouth.

"They tied me to the bed. They cut into my legs. And then they left me there. For almost two days. I could tell by the light through the window."

He was silent. He seemed to know that she just needed to say what had happened. And she was thankful that he was quiet.

"Then, they came in. They told me that because of how I had stabbed the man earlier, because they had to pay him off to keep him quiet, they said that I would be making up the money for that."

 _She remembered the horrible feeling of being unable to move._


	56. Chapter 56

_She remembered the horrible feeling of being unable to move._

She started to move her leg – like a twitching movement. But she just had to move. She had to stay in the present.

"So they brought in men." And now she knew she couldn't make it through this. Her stomach turned. And she leaned over to the trashcan by her desk, and she fell to the floor and threw up, each heave followed by tears and shame and humiliation.

She was so thankful that he didn't come towards her. That he sat there, waiting for her to finish. She knew she couldn't have anyone touch her right now. And she just needed to get everything out.

She wiped her mouth with a tissue from the desk, got back up into the chair. And she said, "I'm sorry. I don't…"

"Please, don't apologize."

She nodded. And then realized she had to continue. "They brought men in who had paid money to … rape… me. Three at a time." And she wanted to stop there. But she continued, "All night. Three men would do what they wanted and then leave. And then three more would come in. All night." And she remembered the faces of everyone of them. And she knew the exact number. "Eightneen total. Over the course of a day."

And she watched his face go pale. And she knew that he was now thinking how close his wife was to her. How much she meant to Mia. And she knew that he was hurting, just listening to this.

And she could see tears running down his face. And she just handed him a tissue.

He apologized, "I'm so sorry, Lorelai. I know that doesn't make this any better. But I'm just sorry that you had to go through that."

She just nodded, thankful for his heartfelt empathy.

It took a few minutes before they were ready to continue. "Do you remember any of the men? Or their names?"

"Just one." She said. And she had no trouble naming his name. "Mitchum Huntzberger."

His eyes flew wide. "You mean, THE Huntzberger? The newspaper man?"

She nodded. And then said, "I don't remember any of the names of anyone else."

"That's ok." He was still stunned about the man that she had named.

And now it was her turn to ask the question, "So is there a way that he will be put away for this? Arrested?"

"Are you afraid of him? Are you afraid of someone coming and hurting you?"

She nodded, "Of course I am. I've already had someone break into my house once."

"What?" His voice jumped an octave. "Who? And when?"

"Jason." She said, "And it was just yesterday morning." She could tell his mind was blown. "He was arrested. I don't know how long he will be in jail. But I don't want anyone else coming after me or my daughter. And Mitchum is the only other one that I remember."


	57. Chapter 57

Ok - PEOPLE! I really really really need some encouragement - I am trying to write more light scenes - because i know this topic can get heavy - but I really really need some reviews - its hard writing - all of this comes from my heart - so please, please :) I would really appreciate it :)


	58. Chapter 58

He cleared his throat. "Well, first of all, I will start the paperwork for the restraining orders. Againt Mr. Styles and Mr. Huntzberger."

Relief flooded her heart.

He added, "Now, that doesn't mean that the restraining orders will be filed. But it just means that given the information and the fact that Jason broke into your house, his most definitely will go through."

She nodded. And then asked, "And Mitchum's?"

He took a deep breath. "Well, what they will do is bring him in to be interrogated. And based on his answers and how they feel will determine whether they grant that."

 _So there's no guarantee._

He said. "But all the answers they give will be used in court – so that will be extra evidence."

She nodded.

And then he asked the question she had been dreading since the beginning of the session.

"Is there anything else?"

She had never wanted to lie so much in her life. She had never wanted to just curl up and clam up and not say anything. Because the next part was the most humiliating and horrifying. She couldn't believe what she had done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rory knew her mother was going to be furious. She was going to be livid. She would lecture her for hours.

But she had to.

Sitting on her bed. Smoking her pot. And it was wonderful. Her hands had stopped shaking. Her head had stopped pounding. And her anxiety had ceased.

Now she was just happy. Happy to be home. Happy to be in her own bed. Happy to be happy.

So when she heard a knock on the door, she was happy to go answer it. She put out her joint, and made sure her room was closed to keep as much of the smoke inside.

She opened to door to find Kirk standing there, in coveralls and a hat. With a toolbox.

"Sup, Kirk?" she asked, knowing how high she must seem. But she was ok with that.

"Hi. Miss Patty sent me to help you with your rodent problem." He said, holding up his toolbox that read "Kill 'em Kirk."

It seemed so amazing to Rory. "Oh, well, please come in."

He walked in. And said, "Now, where are all of the little pests located?"

Rory just stared at him. And he just stared at her.

Then she realized he had asked her a question. "I'm sorry. I missed the question."

He just said, "Where are the mice located at was what I said."

"Oh!" Her eyes got wide, and she pointed to the living room. "Probably in there because that's where most things happen when we have guests over." She stopped to think about what she just said. But then she forgot that she said anything. She was so high. And that made her laugh.

Kirk turned around, defensive. "Please don't laugh at me. I am very self-conscious of my butt in these coveralls."

Her eyes immediately went to his butt. "Well, I think it looks fine." And then she added, "Looks like a nice butt to me."

He smiled. "Well, thank you."

She just smiled at him. She wasn't sure how long they stood there smiling at each other. But it was long. And she was ok with it.

Then he said, "Ok. I need to scope out the room as to the best place to set up some of my traps."

And she said, "Well, you're the expert."

And without warning, Kirk fell to all fours. And started scurrying around the room. Going from one end of the living room to the other, jumping on the sofa and then back off again. Crawling behind the chairs, sniffing the heater vents.

She just watched him. Entertained. It looked like fun. She almost wanted to get down and do whatever the hell he was doing.

He looked up at her. And said, "To kill the mice you have to be the mice."

"That's amazing, Kirk." She said, thoroughly impressed. "You should write a book or something."

"Yes, well I've already started my memoirs." He said, and then he walked over to the toolbox that he had brought. And he pulled out a huge bag of white things.

Curious, Rory walked over and sat indian style on the floor. "What are those?"

"Careful," he warned. "These are very very dangerous."

She leaned away. "Whoa, then don't swing them around so much."

He looked at her and said, "They're not moving at all."

 _Oops._ She thought. _Must be the pot._

She just smiled and said, "My bad."

He pulled one of the white things out, and said, "These are sticky traps. You take off the top like this." He ripped off the top. It looked like the back of a sticker.

So she said. "Looks like the back of a sticker."

He nodded, but then said, "It's like that but much more complicated." Then he continued, "And then you place these wherever the mice may go. Then they get caught in the trap."

Rory looked at him and cried. "Those poor mice. They get caught?" She started to cry harder.

"No. No." Kirk said, fear in his voice. "I don't do well with shows of emotion." And when that didn't stop her from crying, he said, "Do you want to help me put these down?"

She stopped crying. "That sounds fun." Then she asked, "Where do I put them down?"

He already had almost 20 in his hand and said, "Wherever you think the mice might go." And he stuck one in the corner. And one by the heater vent.

She grabbed a handful, pulled the top off of one, and said, "I think they sometimes run in front of the couch."

"Then you should put some there."

She set it right in front of the couch. Then she said, "Oh, and by the front door." She put one down. Then she ran in and said, "And in front of the phone table."

Kirk said, "I think you have a natural talent for this. Maybe when my business gets off the ground, maybe I can hire you as an intern or something."

"I would love that." And she started sticking the traps everywhere she could think a mouse might go.


	59. Chapter 59

_She was just expecting the next set. The next set of men. It had been so long._

 _Her body hurt all over – hurt all over she felt numb. Because she couldn't pinpoint which hurt worse._

 _The door opened. And she didn't even flinch. She didn't even shy away as a man walked over to her._

 _But she jumped when he grabbed her wrist. And undid the restraint. Her arm fell limply to the bed. She turned her head to see Chris._

 _And somehow, in her delirious state, as she watched him undo her arms and legs, letting her lie limp on the bed – somehow, she thought he had come to save her. He had stopped what had been going on. He had stopped it._

 _She couldn't say anything. She could barely move her body._

 _"Here, Lor. Cover up with this." And he enshrouded her body in a soft blanket, the first covering she had felt in three days, other than human flesh. He said it in soft, sweet tones._

 _"I'm going to sleep in the guest bed tonight." He said, "To give you some space."_

 _She didn't want to be alone. Not again. And she tried to say, "Please don't…"_

 _He looked at her, concern in his face. And said, "Do you want to come sleep with me?"_

 _"Don't leave me alone?" She asked, the words burning out of her throat. She didn't want to be alone in the room again. The darkness seemed to mock her. She didn't want to be in this bed anymore. She didn't want to be here alone._

 _He looked at her, tenderly, and said, "Lor, you can't sleep with me tonight." She got afraid that he would leave her. "You're really dirty right now. You need to be alone and think about how to make yourself better. Because I can't sleep with my wife who is a whore."_

 _She shuddered. She was so dirty. She could feel it all over her body. All over her. And she knew he wouldn't want to sleep with her. He wouldn't want to hug her. He wouldn't want her laying next to him in bed._

 _And she couldn't comprehend how this was her fault. But it must be. She couldn't get the feeling of being violated. Of being used for sex. But somewhere, somehow, she must be at fault. This must be her…_

 _"I'm sorry." She whispered. "What did I do?"_

 _He just looked at her, sat on the edge of the bed, and reached out to touch her face. She shied away at first, but could see the tenderness in his face. And she let his hand move closer to her face. But he didn't touch her. He pulled away at the last second. And he just said, "You didn't obey me at the party."_

 _Her mind went back. And she asked, "The drink?" When she had gotten the drink when he had told her not to._

 _"Of course, Lor. I can't stand having a wife who won't listen to her husband." He looked away from him with disgust in his eyes, which made her feel so much more dirty. "Please never make me do this to you again."_

 _She just nodded her head, unable to process much, but she just said, "I won't."_

 _Then he stood up, and left the room, calling behind him saying, "I love you, Lor."_

 _And she felt herself all alone again. And she couldn't stay here. She was free. She didn't have to lay in this bed anymore. There was nothing keeping her there._

 _She had to get up._

 _She was so tired. But she couldn't sleep in this bed. Covered in…_

 _Everything hurt. Every move of every part of her body made her cry._

 _Sitting up, she felt her head spinning. Her stomach burned as the raw stripes of flesh ripped open, leaving burning skin open to the air. She pulled her legs over the side of the bed, the cuts on her thighs gaping open from the beating she had received earlier. Her feet touched the ground. And she felt the blood returning to a regular blood flow to her legs. She pulled her arms in around her, and she cried as her hands brushed against the cuts the leather had made in her wrists. Her hands ran along her stomach, knowing she would have scars from the whipping she had endured._

 _She just wanted to get to the bathroom. She wanted to get clean. To not feel so dirty. So she would be clean. And so he would want her. Chris. He didn't want her like she was. And she didn't want herself like this._

 _So she stood up. She held the bedpost to help her stand up. But then she felt something running down her legs. And she felt lightheaded. And she tried to sink back to the bed. But she found herself falling farther. She found herself on the floor. And she couldn't move. She just couldn't make herself move. So she just curled up there on the floor. She wasn't on that bed anymore. She wasn't tied up. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped the blanket around every part of her body. And she fell asleep. Complete exhaustion took over. Her body was so tired. Her mind was so gone. And she just slept there. Scared and alone. But she slept._

 _She was startled awake when she heard a door slam. Not moving, she tried to get her bearings. She was on the floor. On the opposite side of the bed. Covered._

 _She heard footsteps coming over. And she heard her name being called. "Lor."_

 _Chris._

 _He walked around the bed. And she saw his face when he looked at her. It wasn't the pity that had been there last night. It wasn't the caring face that he had shown her. It wasn't the face that said, "I love you" before leaving last night._

 _This was just the Chris she had come to know over the past few weeks._

 _"Lor, I'm leaving for work." He said, pulling on a dress shirt over his bare chest. "I want you cleaned and ready to go when I get home at five."_

 _Her face must have fallen. Because her heart did. Ready to go meant that she would have to go somewhere. Somewhere with Chris. Somewhere with men. And she shuddered._

 _And he saw it. And said, "No, Lor, we're not going to a party." And she looked up at him with hope. His tone changed. And said to her, "I just want to have a romantic dinner with my wife."_

 _She went back to what had happened with Jason the night they were supposed to go to dinner._

 _"No, I mean it." He said, "Dinner. You and me. Just like old times."_

 _His face looked so believable. And she wanted to. So she did. Because the alternative was too hard to think about._

 _"So I just want you to wear one of the beautiful dresses in your closet. And we'll go make people jealous of the perfect couple we are." His voice sounded like he was excited. And in a good way._

 _So she felt excited. "I can do that."_

 _He pulled on his suitcoat. "Well, I'm off."_

 _"Bye." She called out to him as he left._


	60. Chapter 60

Lorelai sat there in her office. Her mind spacing out. But she knew where she was. She knew that she wasn't going crazy. For the first time in her life – she was just remembering. She wasn't experiencing it again. She wasn't checking out of reality to finish remembering.

And the lawyer just sat there.

And for that she was thankful.

 _Somehow she stumbled into the bathroom later that morning. She just wanted to clean up – clean off the dirtiness that had infiltrated into her very being._

 _She reached the bathroom, barely standing, and grabbed the sink to steady herself. She turned on the light in the bathroom and slowly raised her head to look up at the mirror, very afraid of what she was about to see. And she was still afraid when she looked._

 _Her hair was stringy, knotted, and full of…_

 _She had a black eye, not swollen shut, but the bruise extended across her nose. Both eyes were bloodshot.. The mascara she had been wearing that night at the party added to the blackness as it had fallen with her tears down the sides of her face._

 _Her nose was covered in blood – dried blood that had dripped down to her mouth, down her chin._

 _But the most disturbing thing about her face that scared her – her mouth._

 _Her lips were cracked and bleeding. All around her lipline was cracked and bleeding. And not only did the blood catch her off guard, but her teeth – they were covered in blood – stained red. Her throat had hand marks, bruises in the form of hands – around it – and claw marks were there too._

 _Her eyes fell down the top of her shoulders – claw marks up and down her entire torso – bruises on her shoulders where they had anchored themselves._

 _She shuddered as she looked at her naked chest. Burn marks across her breasts – raised and welting. Bite marks all over, some even layered with dried blood. Claw marks yet again. All over._

 _She looked down her legs – to find blood running yet again from the cut marks on her skin. And blood from else where too. Bruises all up and along her legs. And a cuff mark along bth of her ankles from the leather straps from the restraints._

 _She felt so dirty. So used. So empty. And she knew it was her fault. If she had just made Chris happy – if she had just served him like he wanted – it would have been so much better. So much more of the wife he wanted. That would make it better._

 _And she was done. She just wanted to crawl into the bed again. But she wanted to be clean._

 _She didn't think she could get in the shower and stay standing. So she ran the water for a bath. And she crawled slpwly into the water, the steaming hot water. Her stomach started to burn from the raw skin that was exposed to the water. But she just sank in farther – and her legs started to sting as the cuts were cleansed by the water. And she just laid there. The water got cold. But she just refilled the water. And she just willed the water to pull out everything that she felt about herself._

 _After what she knew had been almost an hour, she got out, dried off so carefully, wincing with each touch of the towel against her skin. She wrapped the towel around her and went out into the bedroom to get dressed. But just then, she heard the door open and looked up to see Jason standing in her room._

 _Her body shuddered, and she ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Her heart pounding, she searched for the only thing she thought might help her. She tore at the cabinets in the bathroom, searching for one of Chris' razors. But he must have taken them out, knowing something like this would happen and that would be her first line of defense. Anything that could have been used as a weapon was out of the bathroom. She had nothing._

 _His voice sounded through the door. "Lorelai, you know I can unlock this door, right?"_

 _She knew she was trapped. If he knew how to get through that door, she had no cnoice to get away from him. She couldn't stand there with him. She couldn't think about what he would do to her – well, she knew exactly what he would do to her – exactly what they had done to her for the past three days._

 _Then he said, "You know I'm not here to hurt you?"_

 _She knew better than that. Every time Jason was around, something bad and horribly terrifying happened._

 _The door rattled. And she knew that it was only a matter of time. And something inside of her clicked. Something inside of her told her that it wouldn't be too bad. That there was nothing that could compare to last night. That maybe if she let him in, maybe he wouldn't be so violent. Maybe then Chris would love her. Because she knew Jason wouldn't come to get her if Chris hadn't let him. And she wanted to make Chris love her. She wanted him to come back to her and hold her and tell her that she wasn't so dirty._

 _"Just unlock the door and we can talk. I just want to talk to you about the other night." He said, his voice a fake calm before the storm._

 _Hands shaking, and her conscience screaming at her, she decided that she would rather Chris be happy with her than to feel good about herself about fighting back. It dind't matter if she fought or didn't. They were going to hurt her anyway. Why not minimize the pain and just get it over with._

 _She turned the lock. And then turned the handle._

 _And she was left faced to face with him._

 _His sneer on his face made her cringe. But she was getting used to men looking at her like that. This wasn't anything new to her. That's for sure._

 _"Well, the whore wants more?" He laughed at his joke. Then said, "Chris said to get dressed. You're coming by the office today."_

 _She was completely numb. She didn't care. She couldn't care. She had no voice. Both literally and figuratively._

 _He reached out, grabbed her arm, and pulled her close to him. She just stared ahead. Looking almost through him. Because she didn't register as he pulled towel away from her body. She could feel his eyes run along her body. But she didn't even react. Because she knew it wouldn't matter._

 _"My god, they sure did a number on you, didn't they, Lorelai?"_

 _His hands ran down her sides, stopping at her hips. When she didn't say anything, he dug his fingers into her horribly raw skin, causing her to yelp in pain. And he said, "I fucking asked you a question."_

 _Her voice cracked as she said in a monotone sound. "They did."_

 _Running his hands over her ass and pushing her hips against his, he asked her, "Did you like it?"_

 _She wanted to say, "No, no, I hated every minute of that torture. Nothing about that was anything I wanted. Ever."_

 _But she knew what he wanted to hear. She knew what would make him happy – what would make him not smack her. And hit her. And fuck her as horribly rough as she knew was coming. "Yes." Was what he would want to hear. And that was what she said._

 _His smile rewarded her. And he said, "Then lets give you some more, if that's what you want, slut." And he pulled his hands off of her body but pushed her to her knees. And she didn't even cringe. She didn't even think about what was about to happen. Nothing. Because there was nothing she could do anyway. There was nothing she could change._

 _Until suddenly the bedroom door swung open. Jason's body was blocking the door from her vision. But she could hear the voice._

 _"Get the hell away from my wife, you asshole."_

 _Chris._

 _Jason jumped away from her, turning to Chris._

 _Lorelai grabbed the towel from the ground and pulled it around her naked body, standing to her feet._

 _"Chris, I was just getting her…"_

 _Chris' voice was angry, and it caused Lorelai to jump back away, afraid that he was going to hurt her. Like he always did when he was angry._

 _But Chris was focused on Jason. "You have no fucking right to touch my wife." And Chris walked over to him, and Lorelai was certain that Chris was going to let Jason have it. But Chris just stared at him. And said, "Get the hell out."_

 _Jason opened his mouth. But Chris said, "Now."_

 _Jason left._

 _And Lorelai was left there with Chris. Standing there in her towel. Shaking. Not sure if it was from fear of her husband standing there, because her hair was wet, or because of what she had just escaped._

 _She was afraid. Afraid that Chris would think that she had initiated that exchange with Jason. Afraid that he would blame her for something that had happened. Afraid that Chris was going to hurt her. Afraid that Chris would rape her again._

 _But he just walked over to her, towering over her. He put out his hand, and she flinched, but he just said, "Shhh… Lor. I'm here. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you again." And he brushed his hand softly against her face._

 _She felt that he cared. That he wanted what was best for her. That he had come and saved her from Jason. That he wanted her. That he loved her._

 _Then he looked straight into her eyes, and said, "You look tired."_

 _She nodded. Everything still hurt so much._

 _"How about we order dinner in. Just you and me. Watch some videos. Just be together."_

 _Her heart about melted. She just wanted to be comforted. Not left alone. Not made to dress up. But just cuddle and sit and heal. "That sounds beautiful."_

 _And then he smiled at her, a smile that wasn't full of lust or power. But a smile that she remembered from the old Chris. The Chris before he brought her here. And he asked, "Would you like to pick the movie?"_


	61. Chapter 61

Lorelai finally looked up from her daydream. From her memory. And she looked at Mia's husband. Her lawyer. And she said, "There is something else I need to tell you. "

And he poised his pen, and looked interested up at her.

She cleared her throat. And said, "I could have run."

And he looked up at her. And asked, "What do you mean."

She closed her eyes. And began to tell him. "He left me every day. He left me to go to work. I could have left. I could have picked up my things and called a taxi and left."

He looked confused. "But didn't he threaten Rory if you did that? Didn't he say that he would hurt her if you left?"

And she nodded. "Of course he did. But he wasn't holding me there against my will. He didn't have me locked away in the basement that I couldn't get out."

"Lorelai," He said, a caring tone coming to his voice, "You were afraid that if you left, he would hurt you and Rory again. That thought never left your mind, right?"

"It never left." She agreed, "But I feel so guilty that I wasn't held prisoner there, and I didn't try to leave. Didn't try and get help." And with that, she broke down, her head falling to her desk where she just sobbed. And blubbered, "I loved him. I thought he loved me."

 _The past few weeks had been amazing with Chris. He had come hope every night to spend with her, either watching movies, or playing games, or just being together and talking about old childhood memories._

 _Of course it had been on her mind for the past week. She didn't know why Chris, who had been so sexually driven, hadn't pressured her or even initiated any sort of intimate interaction. She wondered whether he was just tired from the weeks and weeks of endless sex. But that didn't seem to fit what she thought of him. And he wasn't really concerned about if she was in the mood or not before._

 _And then one night, she found out why. They were curled up on the couch watching a movie, and he had pulled her over to him, and rested his arms around her, so that she was leaning against his chest. And that was as intimate as it got._

 _She was startled when he whispered in her ear, "How are you feeling right now?"_

 _"I don't know. Tired?" She answered, not sure by what he was meaning or wanted to hear._

 _"Lor," He said, a smile in his voice, "I mean, are you healing from that night?"_

 _She forgot the movie in front of her and looked up at him. "Chris, what do you mean?"_

 _He just asked, "I wanted to give you time to heal. Time to just recover. Physically from that."_

 _She didn't know how to feel. Of course she was healing. Her cuts on her legs had healed closed. Some were still a bit tender, but that's just because they were deeper. But they had all closed. The burn marks on her stomach and chest were also healing, The welts had gone down, now just leaving what she thought might be permanent marks. And her bruises were fading, her eye almost completely healed. And her sores on her mouth were better. She still had to apply chapstick almost every hour to alleviate the cracking and bleeding of her lips, but other than that, she felt so much better than she had that night._

 _Only one spot was still the hard part. She still had pain between her legs every time she moved. She assumed that something had been torn and was going to take some time to heal._

 _"I think I'm getting there." She said quietly. "I'm still very tender in…"_

 _And he just nodded, and said, "It's ok, I understand." He then brushed his hands through her hair, and said, "I just want you to feel comfortable and ready when we finally do have sex again."_

 _The thought of having sex again made her want to puke. But she also wanted to make Chris happy. She wanted him to want her. She wanted more than anything that he would love her. And she knew that sex was such an important part of his life. That had been the basis of their relationship throughout the years. Of course, the first time that brought Rory into the world, the time at her parent's house. Then again at the inn. And after she broke up with Luke. She knew that he needed her to be there for him in that way._

 _And she said, "Chris, I think if you're gentle, if you wanted to try…" her voice hesitated. "We could."_

 _He just said, "Shh… no. I don't want to hurt you. Lets give it a few more days."_

 _"Ok." She said compliantly. And she was glad that he wasn't going to pressure her tonight. But she was afraid that he would pressure her when he wanted to have it. And she wondered whether she would be able to have the courage to try when he wanted to have sex with her again. She didn't know. But she wanted to make him happy._

"He was so sweet those few weeks after that night. He wanted to give me time." She tried to explain. She didn't know why she was explaining this. But it just seemed like it needed to come out.

And since he had given her the reign to just tell him what she thought needed to be said, she also said, "It was then that I had the suspicion."

And he asked, "What suspicion?"

"I was a very… regular woman." And she looked at him to see if he knew what she was talking about. He nodded, understanding. "I knew the time it was supposed to come. And it didn't. I didn't freak out. But I thought that I would have to watch for it – I thought maybe my body had been through so much that the regual cycle was the first thing to go. But it was still in the back of my mind."

And he cleared his throat. "And you later found out that you were pregnant, didn't you?"

She just nodded, her hands immediately touching her stomach.

But it hurt to think of the baby that she had carried with her. It hurt too much that what Chris had done to her had taken away the child that she had talked to during the day when Chris had been away at work. That this little baby had been the companion and listener that she had needed those last few weeks that she had been held there for Chris.

So instead of thinking about it, she made her mind move on.

 _Chris walked into the house, slamming the door behind him._

 _She jumped up from where she had been sitting on the couch, watching movies for the afternoon. Of course, there wasn't much else to do. But she was now standing and looking at Chris._

 _"What's wrong?" She asked. And she told herself that it wasn't about to go back to what it had been like. It wasn't going to be the same. He loved her. He had changed. She hadn't done anything wrong. She was his wife. And he loved her._

 _He threw his briefcase across the room, and it shattered into a picture on the wall. She flinched away, knowing he was more angry than he had been in a while. "That fucking deal fell through."_

 _She had no idea what he was talking about. But when he was talking he could sometimes calm himself down with reasoning through it. At least she hoped he would._

 _"Thomas, one of the greatest CEO's in the whole state just fucked us up."_

 _She knew the name. She couldn't find it. She knew he had mentioned him before._

 _Chris continued, "He had something on us that gave him the upper hand. And he took hundreds of thousands of dollars from us."_

 _She was still trying to remember where she had heard the name._

 _"Do you remember him, Lor?" His voice had turned. He was no longer just angry. He was vindictive. And she instinctively backed away. Her heart was pounding._

 _Her face must have shown that she didn't. "He was the man you fucking stabbed."_

 _And then it all came back. The blood. The man's face. The blood. The fear. And then more blood. And the punishment that had come after that._

 _"Chris, I am so sorry."_

 _Her back had reached the wall. She couldn't go any farther. She didn't know what to do. He had a reason to be angry. She had lost him all that money. She had been the reason that he was angry. She deserved whatever he gave her tonight. Because he wouldn't do anything that she didn't need to be a better wife, right?_

 _"He blackmailed us, saying that he would expose us, you and I, if I didn't give him more money."_

 _And he was standing right in front of her._

Her mind then sped ahead a few minutes.

 _"You are such a whore."_

 _She cried out in pain as he pushed himself into her still sore body. He slapped her across the chest._

 _"But I still love you."_

 _Her body was on fire. He thrust himself again and again, each time she could feel ripping of before healing tissue. His fingernails clawed down her body and abdomen, coming to rest at her hips as he pushed more and more into her._

 _"Does this feel good?"_

 _She just nodded yes. Knowing that if she didn't, he would hurt her more._

 _He then laid his body back down, pressing his body onto hers. He was by her face, and he leaned down and grabbed her earlobe with his mouth, sucking and then biting into her flesh. And then he whispered, "You know I love you. Lor?"_

 _She nodded._

 _He continued. Talking. And everything else. "You have just earned yourself another job."_

 _And she just laid there, moving with his body, only by force._

 _"You're about to become the office whore."_

 _She didn't have time to register anything._

 _"At the parties we go to."_

 _He had to take breaths in between his activity and talking._

 _"You're open for business."_

 _She was now trying to pay attention. Because she was afraid that it was going to turn out to be like that night had been with all of the men coming in to her._

 _"If any of the men wants you and pays for you, he is going to be able to take you and fuck you however he wants."_

 _She shook her head, causing him to bite down harder on her shoulder. She cried out._

 _"You know you're nothing more than a whore, right? I should let Jason come over and fuck the shit out of you. I probably will. I'm done protecting you from anyone. I don't give a fuck what happens to you. As long as you can be a good fuck for the next man, that's all I care about."_

 _"And if you fight this time, like you did with Thomas…"_

 _He finished off inside of her, and fell off of her, laying next to her._

 _And he whispered, "If you fight. I will bring Rory to a party. And I will rape her myself. And then let the others fuck her as much as they want to."_

"You mean that he threatened to use his daughter like he had been using you?" She was interrupted by a shocked and indignant lawyer.

She just nodded. "He said it. And I didn't doubt that he would."

"And Jason came over that night and…" She couldn't finish. Because that was so horrible. And painful. He had strung the bedsheets around her throat, and had fucked her, telling her the whole time that all he had to do was pull a certain way and she would be dead.

And she continued. "That was the night that I ceased to be his wife. I was his companion only to get men to sign on for deals. Every party we went to, I was…" and she couldn't think of any other word to use, but "used at least twice."

She paused, gathering her thoughts.

"That's why I was so surprised that a few weeks later I was standing in front of my parents house. I was so scared that men were going to hurt me there in my parent's house."

And the lawyer put his pen down. "And the police have the evidence from that night that I can read and get information from instead of you having to tell me."

She was hopeful. "You mean we're done?"

He nodded. "Yes. You are welcome to leave whenever."

She was so relieved. She hadn't told anyone about any of this much stuff in detail. And she had made it through without dying. She had survived. And she had survived all of that when it was actually happening to her.

And she knew that this had been an exercise that she had needed emotionally. And she said, "Thank you for listening."

And he smiled. And said, "Thank you for telling me. I am going to see that we prosecute as far as we can. That these men see as little daylight as they possibly can."

She thanked him. And said, "Now, I think I need to go home and rest a bit. But I do want to see Mia. How about we meet at the hosue and go out for dinner togheter? Rory is here. And we can just have a break from this…"

And he nodded, saying, "Does seven sound good?"


	62. Chapter 62

Emotionally exhausted, Lorelai just wanted to get home and fall asleep for hours until dinner that night. She just wanted to curl up and sleep. And just check out for a little bit.

As she pulled into the driveway, she saw Kirk's van drive down the road. She didn't think much of it until she got up to the door, opened it, walked in, and stopped.

All over the floor – almost every inch of the floor was covered in white sticky traps. She looked down and found one stuck to the bottom of her boot. All over the floor – in the living room. She stepped over a few, finding one bare place after the other as she reached the hallway to the kitchen. And they extended only to the kitchen – not going into the kitchen. But they were all over the living room – there were a few on the couch.

With one still stuck on her boot, she navigated her way to the kitchen. And started calling, not yelling, but calling out. "Rory. Rory. What happened? What on earth happened in …"

She threw the door to her daughters room open. And she was immediately greeted with the smell of marijuana. Laced with something. She could smell it.

"Oh my fucking god." She said. There was Rory on her bed. Just laying there. Not asleep. Because she rolled her eyes at her mother.

"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore!" She said, watching her daughter jump at the sound of her tone.

Rory jumped to her feet. "What the fuck, Mom! This is my room! You can't just walk in here all…"

Lorelai held her hand up to her daughter to make her be quiet. "This is my house. You can't smoke pot in here."

"Oh really, because I'm pretty sure I just did."

 _What on earth do I say to this kid? This kid who I don't know. This isn't my daughter. This is someone so different._

Rory just stared at her. Eyes on fire. And defiance holding her face in place.

Lorelai didn't have the fight left in her to argue. She was too emotional right now.

"Just answer me this. What on earth happened in the living room?"

Rory just rolled her eyes again at her.

To which Lorelai said, "I think your eyes are loose or something."

Rory just turned away from her mother, reached down into her bag to get something out.

"No, Rory, what happened in there? It's like an attack of the sticky glue."

Not bothering to look up, Rory said, "Kirk said he was coming over to do some extermination business."

"Kirk?" Lorelai asked incredulously. "You let Kirk in here? Unsupervised?"

Rory looked up at her mother, and said, "He wasn't unsupervised. I was there."

Confused as to why Rory would let him do what he had done to the living room under supervision, Lorelai then remembered the smell. And she scrunched her face up in utter exhaustion and frustration. "You were high when he was here. Weren't you?"

Rory ignored her, again searching through her bag for something.

Crouching down beside her, Lorelai touched her shoulder. "Don't ignore me. Answer me. Were you high?"

No reaction from the young person in front of her.

Lorelai looked down into the bag. And she watched Rory's hand enclose around a small plastic bag.

Rory was fast. But Lorelai was faster. And she ripped the bag out of her daughter's hand, and stepped back out of the room.

"Oh my god, Rory."

"Give that back to me." Rory yelled, lunging at her mother. She grabbed at her but Lorelai moved back quickly. Because she did, Rory fell on the ground, slamming her hands down first.

By this time, Lorelai was halfway to the stairs. She knew she had to get rid of this stuff. She couldn't keep it around for Rory to use again. _Just get to the bathroom. Flush it down the toilet._ She was on the way up when Rory came flying around the corner. And stomped up the stairs behind her.

"Don't you dare." Rory screamed at her. But Lorelai had reached the bathroom. And she tore the bag open and dumped it at the same time that she flushed it. And she let out a sigh of relief. That her daughter now didn't have drugs in this house.

Rory reached the bathroom to see the last of the green stuff flushed down the drain. And then her eyes met Lorelai's.

"Fuck you." She said. "That was mine. I paid lots of money for that."

Lorelai's turn to yell. "Well I paid a high price to raise my daughter to choose better."

Sarcasm dripped from Rory's words. "Oh, here we go. The sob story about leaving grandma and grandpa and setting out on your own so I can have a better life. All about how you suffered and went without so I could have a better life. Well fuck that."

Lorelai was so angry. Because Rory wasn't getting it. She shook her hands in front of her in attempt to try and get Rory to listen. "Rory, you know that's not what I meant. I meant I put in too much time and effort to raise you right to have you throw it all away for drugs."

Rory just flipped her off and turned around and walked down the stairs. Lorelai followed her. And stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Where the hell are you going?"

"Away, bitch."

"I'm your mother, Rory. You can't talk to me like that."

Rory turned around at the landing. And she said, "You sound just like dad did the other day."

Lorelai's heart stopped.

Her hands started shaking.

Her breathing started heaving as she tried to catch it.

And she could barely say, "What did you say?"

Rory knew this was getting to her. And she just said, "Dad said that the other day. When I went to see him at the jail."

 _What did she do? What did he do? How long ago was this? He is going to hurt her. He saw her again. He sent Jason on my tail the same day I went to see him. What about her? What did he tell her? What did she tell him?_

And with that, Lorelai turned from mother bear to crazy psycho lady. And she tore down those stairs before Rory could move. And she grabbed her shoulders, holding her so that her daughter had to look her in the face. And she said, forcefully and fearfully. "When did you see him?"

Rory was confused, and beligerant. "That's none of your fucking busi…"

Lorelai yelled. Very loudly, "Now. Tell me."

A little bit of fear came to her daughter's eyes. And she said, "I don't know. A few days or so ago. The day we found out that he was still alive." Getting her rebellious person back, she said, "What the fuck does it matter?"

And Lorelai began her angry rant. And she wasn't thinking. So what came out just came out. "What the fuck does it matter? I spent the last four months doing everything I could do to keep him away from you. And you just waltz right in there to see him the DAY you found out htat he wasn't dead. That's the fuck it matters. The fuck it matters because he will do anything to get back at me. He will hurt anyone he needs to in order that I am hurt. So the fuck it matters. Because he could hurt you so much. And that would kill me."

Rory's face was pale. And her eyes wide.

Lorelai continued, "Here's an example. I left there after delivering divorce papers to him. Not 24 hours later, someone broke into the house and tried to rape me, Rory." She knew this was going to get out of hand, but maybe some cold hard facts would scare her daughter into listening. "He is a horrible man. All he wants to do is hurt other people. And especially me." She knew she should stop. But she didn't. "He told me he would do horrible things to you, Rory. He made me do things I don't think I'll ever forget. I don't think I'll ever be the same." And she paused, seeing that the fear in her daughter's eyes had gotten bigger, and she kenw she had made her point. So she quieted down, and said, "But he didn't get to you. I protected you from that." And then her heart began to break as she thought of what could have happened. "So when I find out that you voluntarily went to see the man who embodies pure evil, the man who threatened to hurt you in ways that make me want to curl up and die – to think of you going and talking to him, I just want to lock you in your bedroom and never let you out until he's dead again."

Nothing came from the little girl in front of her.

 _I said too much._ She thought. _She's too young. She didn't need to know that._

Rory just looked at her. And then she whispered. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

 _If only that made all of this better._ "I know you didn't know." Lorelai let go of her daugther's shoulders. "I don't know what I should tell you and what is too hard for you to handle. And I should have told you enough to keep you away from him."

Rory sank to the stairs, leaning her head against the poles going up the stairs. Lorelai sat down beside her.

And she waited, knowing that she had said so much. In such a short amount of time.


	63. Chapter 63

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"What did he do to you?"

 _To tell her. It would be too much. It would hurt her._

Rory must have seen the hesitation in her face. "I mean, you don't have to tell me. But I just figure if I have to keep away from people because they are dangerous, I should be able to know why."

 _That's totally wrong. You should just take my word for it._ But that was never her attitude anyway. "I don't want to hurt you. It's… so… so…"

"Horrible." Rory finished. "I know. I heard some of what you and Luke were talking about that night."

Lorelai took a deep breath. And she reached her hand around Rory's shoulders. And pulled her close. And she just said, "I don't know how to tell you things. It's so hard for me. I just want to protect you."

Rory didn't melt into her arms like she used to. She sat there stiffly.

And she explained why. "I can't understand where you're coming from if you don't tell me."

"You have to promise me something." And Lorelai turned her head so she was looking right at Rory. She waited until her daughter's blue eyes met hers. "That if you start to feel overwhelmed, or scared, or anything other than just listening, you have to let me know and I will stop. I will."

Rory just nodded. "Ok."

 _I don't want to talk about it again._ She thought. _I can't worry about her feelings and talk about this…._ But then she thought, _Yes, I can. I have to. She needs this._

"It was the hardest thing I had ever done leaving you at the hospital." She felt Rory tense next to her. And she said, "I still wish that it had been different. But he refused to let me stay with you."

"Why?"

Lorelai just shrugged, "I think he knew that if I saw you awake and you saw him, that I would not go with him. And he couldn't take that chance."

Lorelai waited for another question, but when none came, she continued, "He said that he just wanted to work on our marriage away from Stars Hollow. Away from …"

"…Luke." Rory finished.

 _Boy, her daughter did know her, that's for sure._ "Yeah, from Luke. And so we went to Boston. He had a new house already waiting for him, and he wanted just to start over." Lorelai remembered the long days sitting at home, waiting for him to get home from work. "I would sit there all day just wondering how you were. He forbid me to contact anyone back home, and he would look at the phone records to see if I had called anyone while he was away."

Rory just asked, "How long did you worry about me?"

Lorelai smiled, "Only every day I didn't see you." She smiled, "One day when we were out shopping for a new dress that he liked for me, he went in to the bathroom, and I used a payphone to call Sooki."

Rory nodded knowinly.

"I just had to know if you were out of the hospital." She said, remembering how excited Sooki had been on the phone, only to have to cut her off to get her message across. Lorelai's voice fell, "I asked her to make sure you were taken care of."

"I had lots of food around."

"I figured." Lorelai's mind went back to that day at the store as she was making the call to Sookie, when Chris had walked out of the bathroom.

 _"…just take care of her, Sooki. Don't tell her I called, but since I can't be there, please just watch…"_

 _She looked up at the door of the men's room and saw him walking towards her. His eyes, flaming, found hers, and she knew this was going to be ugly. She hung up the phone as soon as she saw him, and lowered her eyes, to avoid his stare._

 _He grabbed her arm, his strong grip causing her to wince in pain. And he whispered in her ear so no one would hear, "What the hell are you doing, Lor?"_

 _She couldn't answer him. She couldn't tell him that she just had to know if Rory was ok. She couldn't tell him that she just needed to have someone making sure to look after her daughter. She couldn't tell him. So she just stood there, her heart hammering in her chest._

 _He pulled her towards the door of the designer clothes store, and they left, and he pushed her towards the car. And he threw her inside of the passenger side._

 _She was so scared. She was scared as to what he would do to her. And what he would do to …_

 _He got in, slammed his door shut, causing her to jump, and then he sped off. The whole time he didn't say anything._

 _But it wasn't until they were about an hour into the trip that Lorelai started to see what direction they were going. "Chris, no. Chris don't hurt her."_

 _"Lor, I told you that you were never to contact anyone there again." His voice was quiet, under control._

 _They were on the road to Stars Hollow. "Chris, just hurt me. I'm sorry. I just needed to know she was ok. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had left her in the hospital. What if she had died? What if she wasn't even alive and I didn't know. What kind of a mother am I?"_

 _He pulled back, and without even looking, sent a hand into her face, pushing her against the window. "Shut up."_

 _But she couldn't just let them get closer and closer to where he would hurt Rory again. She took a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain in her jaw. "Chris, she didn't do anything. This was my fault…"_

 _She cowered her hands over her face as his hand came again, but this time into her stomach, and she leaned forward as the blow doubled her over._

 _"I said to fucking shut up, bitch." He said. And she couldn't see him, because her head was between her knees, and she felt yet another blow come to her back, a balled fist causing her to want to climb over the seat into the back so he couldn't reach her._

 _She tried to think of what she was going to do. She tried to think of how she was going to save her daughter. She couldn't think, past the fact that he was going to hurt her. He was going to hurt Rory again. She whimpered as they pulled into Stars Hollow, darkness had overtaken the town, and she looked down at the dashboard that read 11pm. The whole town was shut down. Not a person on the street. He pulled up to the house, switching his lights off before pulling into the driveway._

 _The lights were on in Rory's bedroom. She could see the little figure hunched over the desk through the curtains that she had made._

 _"Chris, no. Chris. Please. Stop." She pleaded. And he didn't move. He just grabbed her hair and pulled her towards him. And she found herself looking up at him, "Lorelai, I am the one who controls your life now."_

 _She would have nodded, but she couldn't move as his hand wrapped around her neck._

 _"I could go in there right now and make you watch as I hurt her so much." He smiled at the fear in her eyes, "Do you understand me?"_

 _Again, she tried to nod. But then couldn't move. And opened her mouth to agree, but suddenly he had his mouth over hers._

 _And the last words he whispered before backing out of the driveway, "You'd better thank your lucky stars that I don't have a thing for teenage girls."_

Lorelai knew she had paused for a moment as she thought about that. She had voiced the part up until he had taken her back to Stars Hollow. It was too painful to know that she had been that close to Rory, knowing that her closeness was the danger. And she couldn't possibly voice the threat Chris had posed to Rory.

She moved on. "He would…"

"He raped you, mom. I know that." Rory said in a comforting voice when Lorelai couldn't seem to get it out of her mouth.

"He did. Many times." Then she remembered, "How much did you hear when I was talking to Luke?"

"All of it." Rory said, basically. "About the men."

"That became my life." She said simply. "He made money off of me. And that was what he used me for."

Rory leaned closer to her, and Lorelai laid her head in Rory's hair. "Do you want me to stop?"

"I want you to stop because I don't want you to have gone through it." Rory's voice sounded so airy. "But I don't need you to stop."

Another breath. "One of the hardest parts of the whole thing was how he manipulated me." She remembered back to how he had made her think that he was caring and wanting her to feel better. "He knew that even through everything he put me through, he knew I just wanted to be loved. I wanted to feel wanted. But…" She stopped, her mind realizing something as she talked about it. "But he used that against me. He made me feel that if I didn't do what he wanted, he wouldn't love me. Of course, I know now that he never did. But that was so hard."

Rory looked up at her, tears in her eyes. And said, "And… the baby?"

Lorelai looked confusingly down at her daughter. _How does she know about the baby? She wasn't there when I told the doctors about the baby when they were working on me at the hospital? She wasn't there when the doctors told me I lost the baby? Did Luke tell her? What…"_

"The doctors told me." Rory said. And then she broke down into complete sobs. Complete and utter depraved sobs like they were coming from a waterfall, gushing out all emotions that crashed onto her face.

"Rory, honey." _I don't understand. Why is she…_

"Mom, I was the one…" She tried to talk through the tears. "Mom, they made me decide…"

Lorelai ran her fingers through her daughter's hair, thankful she couldn't see Rory's face and Rory couldn't see hers. Because there was something about this that was making Lorelai uncomfortable, making her unable to process what Rory had to do with her baby...

"They said the baby was already gone."

Lorelai listened. Her heart breaking again and again with the thought of her little one that had helped her through so much.

"They said that the baby was already gone. But that your body couldn't…" Rory searched for the word. "Couldn't get rid of…" She didn't finish that but moved on. "They just had to get my permission to give you a drug that would help that."

And the tears again flowed. From both of the women sitting there on the stairs.

"Oh, Rory." Lorelai whispered.

Rory shook her head. And her voice was angry with tears. "But I didn't want to think about the baby. I wanted to think about you being there in that hospital bed. That you might not have survived. And when they told me that you had lost the baby, I…" She looked up into her mother's eyes, guilt written all over her face. "I was … relieved."

Lorelai closed her eyes in pain. In pain at the thought of how she had lost the baby. In pain at hearing that Rory had been the one to have to decide. In pain at the thought of Rory being relieved at the loss of life in Lorelai's life. And in pain at the sight of the guilt that plagued her daughter's face.

Rory continued, "They weren't sure that you were going to live. They said that carrying the baby was going to make it that much tougher for you to get better. So when they told me that the baby had died, I wasn't sad. I was relieved that you had a better chance at living and being with me." More tears. "And I felt horribly that I felt that."

Now it was Lorelai's chance to be speechless. She didn't know how to react to her daughter's opening up about how she was feeling. Because although her sharing how guilty she felt, Lorelai couldn't help but feel that Rory should feel some guilt for feeling that it was ok that the baby had died. Lorelai felt such pain at the loss. Hearing Rory feel relief – it was so hard.

So she did the only thing she could think of. She just pulled Rory closer into a hug. And said nothing. But they just held each other, experiencing pain and comfort at the presence of each other.


	64. Chapter 64

So there's something wrong with my review viewing - so I can see that i have new reviews - but I cannot see what you're reviewing! If you have suggestions, please send me a private message - or if you just want to write your review and message me, I would love that too! Thanks so much :)


	65. Chapter 65

**Sorry about the lack of posting here - this is just a chapter to further the pairing that I have - I want to take the (perhaps) romance between the two very very slowly. Let me know what you think.**

Lorelai knew she should be sleeping.

But she couldn't.

She wanted nothing more than to fall asleep, to leave the present world and enter oblivion for hours. She would have given anything to close her eyes and be transported into darkness that didn't include the impending doom that now hovered all around her.

Tomorrow was the beginning of the trial.

She turned to her side, curling up into a ball. _Chris would be there._ She knew there was nothing she could do to not see him. Tomorrow they were going to begin by having him give his testimony. She would have to sit there while he told his side of the story. _There's no way he could tell the truth._ And she knew he was going to make her look so horrible up there.

She turned to her other side, just wanting to get comfortable on the floor. _Thankfully Jason won't be there._ She thought. _He is still in jail for the break-in. So you won't have to face him too._ Then her stomach turned. _Not yet, at least._

Turning now to her back, she stared up at the ceiling. She thought back to how she was feeling about Rory. She didn't want to hurt her daughter, so she had brushed the tears away, and they had gone out to dinner with Mia and her husband. And it had been a pretty smooth night, with Rory waiting to smoke again until they got home. But by that time, Lorelai had no more fight in her. She had just asked Rory to smoke outside the house, and had gone to bed. The next few days, Lorelai made sure that she was busy at the inn, leaving Rory at home to do whatever she wanted. But Lorelai just couldn't be with her daughter and let her know that it had hurt so much what she had felt towards the baby. Lorelai couldn't let her daughter feel more guilt by how much Lorelai was hurt. And, honestly, Lorelai didn't want to be with her daughter until she wasn't so emotional about the baby.

She looked at the clock. It was only three in the morning. She still had at least three more hours of laying here, on the floor, her mind going a million miles an hour. And she was afraid of where her brain was going to take her in the three hours that she had left.

Grabbing the phone that she now always had close to her, she went to dial Luke's number, but heard something coming from the receiver. She put it to her ear, and was astounded to hear Rory's voice on the other end.

"… and I don't know what to do. I just want to see you."

Then Lorelai would have gasped if she wouldn't have given herself away. _Logan._

"Ace, you have to stay there. It's the best place for you right now." He said.

"You don't know how horrible it is here." Rory said, a hint of anger in her voice. "Mom flushed all my stuff down the toilet. And she won't let me smoke in the house, and there's no alcohol around."

 _Oh my god, at least you're safe, kid._ Lorelai thought, and wanted to scream it to her daughter. She was ready for Logan to encourage the anger in Rory's voice. For him to say he was gonna come get her, or bring her more drugs and alcohol. Or… anything else than what he said.

"That's not the worst thing in the world, Rory." He said, and she heard Rory start to argue, but he continued, "We both know the drug usage has gotten out of hand. And I can't remember a night that you have been sober in a long while." Then he said something she never would have thought to come from the son of a man who came straight from the pit of hell. "Your mom is just trying to do the right thing here, Ace. And she has lots of reasons to be so paranoid and concerned for you."

And, as if Lorelai couldn't get any more astounded, Rory agreed. "You're right."

Logan continued, "I mean, I really miss you too. And I would love nothing more than for you to come and be with me." Lorelai's heart started pounding. But then slowed when he said, "But your mom needs you. And you need your mom."

Again, Rory said, "Yeah, I know."

 _Logan? How could a kid from such a horrible man have given such good advice?_

"Ace, you know I love you. And I want you to be safe. So just stay there and be with your family."

Rory just sighed, and said, "I love you too, Logan."

Then they said goodnight, and the phone line went dead.

And Lorelai just let the phone fall beside her and she laid there, stunned. At how much of a gentleman that Logan had been. That he hadn't tried to come and take Rory away from her. _If you had called Chris to come take you away from your parents when you were a teenager, he would have done it in a heartbeat – just for the ability to be with you._ But this kid, who came from the same breeding as Lorelai had grown up with, he had character and was looking out for Rory. He knew that she was in over her head with the drugs and alcohol. And he knew that she needed to be with her mother.

And they loved each other. This relationship was not new. This wasn't just a fling. They were in this.

Then another thought struck Lorelai. _He had said that she would be more safe here._ As if he knew that she was in danger with his father. Then she remembered his reaction at the house. How he had yelled for Rory to leave. How he had thrown the bags at Lorelai. How he had stepped between his father and Lorelai.

 _Does he know that something is up with is father? Does he know what has happened? But he was afraid for Rory. He really cared for her. And was concerned about her safety._

Lorelai picked up the phone.

"Are you ok, Lorelai?" Luke's sleepy voice came over the speaker, and she just smiled and snuggled down into her covers.

"I just needed to hear your voice." She said, "I can't sleep."

And they both settled in for a conversation about any and everything. This was their time together – when she couldn't sleep, or had woken up from a nightmare, or when she was just feeling lonely – they talked and talked until dawn. That was the thing.

And they never talked about the issues that were actually keeping her up. He was her escape from her mind. He was her ticket into the real world – the world outside of this crisis. And she loved every moment that they talked.

And then Lorelai realized the sun was up. And she had fallen asleep, the phone laying there beside her. And she picked the phone up, and said, "Luke?" And he answered a sleepy voice, "We both fell asleep. And you made it through another night."

And she said, "Thanks." Stretching, she looked over to the clock, knowing she had a few hours to get ready and be at the courthouse.

"I'll bring breakfast and coffee over in about an hour?" She loved his voice, and his suggestion.

"And you're going to drive with us to the courthouse, right?"

He agreed, "Yes, that way I can drive you home afterwards if it has been a hard day."

They said goodbye, and she set the phone down, laying there, and she knew that she had to get up and start getting ready. And she knew there was going to be so many hard things to do today – seeing Chris, listening to Chris, being out with all of those people listening to him talk about her – dealing with Rory there too. But somehow, just the thought that Luke was going to be there with her, that he had promised to sit with her, to drive her home, to be with her – that made some of the terror that came to her mind ease up a bit. And being with Luke now felt so safe. He had waited until she fell asleep last night to fall asleep – they fell asleep together – and that was such a comfort to Lorelai.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Luke knocked on the door with his foot, his hands full of bags and cups of coffee. He had made a few of their favorite breakfast dishes, wanting to make sure that he had whatever his girls would be in the mood for.

Rory opened the door. And held it open so he could get in, and she grabbed one of the cups from him and walked away, into the kitchen and into her room.

He was confused as he walked into the kitchen. _Rory? Not saying thank you? No hello? Nothing?_

But he had barely set the food on the table when another hand reached over and grabbed the other cup of coffee.

"Now, there has to be some thank you from you at least." He said, keeping his tone emotionless – their way of joking with each other.

He looked up and saw her standing there. She never ceased to take his breath away.

Her hair was beautifully curled, hanging down past her shoulders. A plain tan top sparkled at the top with a delicate necklace that hung from her throat. _The necklace he had given her._ Dress pants and dress shoes were overlooked as his eyes were drawn up to her blue eyes. Blue eyes that seemed like an ocean that called for him to jump right in, to breathe in the beauty that was this woman before him.

And he realized that he had been staring at her.

And he realized that she realized that he had been staring at her. And then a smile came to her face, and her lips curled upwards. And she said coyly, "Thank you, Luke."


	66. Chapter 66

**ANY SUGGESTIONS - STILL MESSAGE ME! Thanks - I know I'm taking a long time getting to the trial - but I really want to set this up :)**

"Chris should be lucky that they make you go through a metal detector before coming into the courthouse." Luke said as he put his belt back on after going through security, "Because otherwise he might want to watch himself up there on that stand. Because you sure can throw a mean fork through the air."

Lorelai gave him a weak smile, knowing that he was only trying to lighten the mood. "I'm saving that trick for my mother." She pulled her shoes back on her feet, and grabbed her purse from the trays that had gone through the machine.

She could feel Luke watching her as they waited for Rory to come in the doors. She had gotten up late and had been in a bad mood. So she was finishing putting her makeup on in the car on the way. So she had sent them into the courthouse, telling them that they didn't have to wait for her. Both Luke and Lorelai knew that she was waiting for them to leave so she could smoke.

But at this point, Lorelai was so much more concerned about what was going to happen inside the courthouse to argue with Rory.

"We didn't park that far away." Luke said, looking at his watch. "I think maybe I'll go look for her."

Lorelai grabbed his arm. "Then you'll have to go through security again. And that will take too long." And her eyes met his. And she knew he could read her. _I don't want to be alone in this building when HE is somewhere in here._

Luke nodded. "Rory's a big girl. She can find it herself."

Lorelai agreed, and said, "We're in room 5, which is on the second floor." She pointed to the elevator.

Luke led her over there, staying right by her side the whole way. They waited for the elevator, and stepped inside when the doors opened. Luke pushed the button for the second floor, and the doors began to shut. Unil they heard someone call out, "Hold the elevator!" And Luke put his hand out and the doors opened again.

And Lorelai wanted to curl up in a ball when she saw who was outside the door.

"Richard I told you that it was on the second floor! But do you listen to me? Of course not."

"Emily, I was following your lead when you took us down the hallway here on the first floor. If you had just looked…"

Lorelai felt Luke's hand on her back, protectively pulling her towards him. The doors completely opened, and her parents looked up from their argument and saw her.

"Lorelai." Her mother said.

Her dad just stood there.

They both just stood there. Not making any move to get into the elevator.

And Lorelai just stared at them. And then she leaned forward and pressed the button that immediately closed the doors. And as they closed, Lorelai just stared at her parents.

And once the doors were closed, she leaned into Luke, taking deep breaths. "I didn't know they would be here." _How stupid of me to think that. Of course they want to come see this horrible day in my life._

Luke cleared his throat. "I think your father is required to be here." She looked up at him in confusion, then he clarified, "I mean, he shot Christopher that night. So I'm pretty sure they are going to make him have to be present for the entire thing."

Lorelai didn't know what to think. _They're going to hear all the lies that he is going to say today. They're going to believe him, like they always do. He always was their favorite. He was the one who wanted to get married when we were younger. I was the horrible one who refused their perfect offer. They're going to take his side yet again today._

But the doors opened to the second floor, and Lorelai looked and straight ahead stood the doors of the room that she was sure would feel like her prison until this whole case was over. She didn't want to leave the elevator. She wanted to turn around and run away. Run away back home, curl up on the floor of her bedroom, and just lay there until the pounding in her heart stopped. And she was almost positive that if Luke hadn't been holding her up, that she would have fallen to her knees and refused to get up. But he was still holding her.

He just said, "Just get off the elevator."

She nodded.

And when she didn't move, he added, "Because if the doors close, the elevator is going back down to pick up your parents."

She smiled at his reasoning to get her off of the elevator. And she walked into the hallway that led to the room. And she was greeted by Greg, the lawyer.

"Lorelai," He extended his hand, and she took it. "Today is the day." She knew she must look terrified when he added, "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"A martini." She quipped.

Luke laughed, and said, "They probably confiscate that down at the security check in."

She introduced Luke to Greg, and they shook hands.

"So you don't have to do anything today, Lorelai." Greg said, turning and walking towards the room. "No one will address you. No one will ask you questions. You just have to survive listening to him talk."

"There's the hard part." She said quietly.

Luke asked, "Can I sit with her? I know she will be at the prosecution table, but I think she needs me to be with her."

Lorelai looked from Luke to Greg, and watched as Greg's face fell.

She started talking fast. "I really need him to be with me. I don't think I can sit through this without him. He keeps me in the present reality. He knows what I'm feeling before I know. And he knows what's going to trigger me…" she could tell that it wasn't working.

Greg cleared his throat. "I don't think that it would be wise."

"Why?" Luke asked.

"Because as I've heard, one of the big things that got Christopher so riled up and angry about was your relationship and interaction with Luke. " Greg said. "And we need the jury to see that this is between you and Christopher. And if you come in, sporting the man that made your husband jealous, only a week after your divorce went through, it's going to put you in a bad light to the jury."

Lorelai could feel whatever strength she thought she had crumble underneath her. Of course, it made sense. And although she would love nothing more than to make Chris so mad when he couldn't hurt her, she knew that the jury might look at her as somewhat of a loose woman coming in with another man.

 _But I need Luke. I can't sit in there alone. I can't do this without him._ She thought, her hands clinging to Luke's arm.

Luke spoke to Greg, "So you think that me being with her could jeopardize the court ruling?"

Greg nodded.

Then Luke turned Lorelai so she was looking just at him. She was shaking. She could feel herself shaking. _I can't do this alone._

And he stared right into her eyes. He just held her gaze. And he told her, "Lorelai. You can do this."

And she said, "No." Even her denial sounded weak. "I can't. I can't face him alone."

Luke held a finger up to her lips to quiet her. "Shhh… Listen to me. You are the strongest woman I know. You made a way for yourself as a teenager with a baby. You built a life for yourself – a wonderful life – you raised an amazing daughter. You built your own inn." Now his voice got quieter as he got closer to her, so she could feel his breath on her face. "You survived hell to protect your daughter. And you survived enough to know that you must put the man who did this to you – that you have to put him away for life. You know this is what you have to do. And you can't let the fact that you don't see yourself as strong be the factor that hurts your case."

She was just staring into his eyes. _He really means this_.

"You can do this." And he kissed her forehead.

And she just leaned her head against his chest, breathing hard still thinking about it. But hse could feel the beating of his heart against her face. And she took the strength that he was giving her. She knew that he was there for her, even if he wasn't in there with her. He would be there when she got done with this today. And that was a comfort to her.

He hugged her tightly, and they stayed like that for a few seconds before he let go, and said, "Now, go kick some ass in there."

Still nervous, but not shaking so much, she made her way behind Greg and the doors opened to the courtroom, but before walking in, she turned to Luke and asked, "Can you go find Rory? Tell her?"

He just nodded. And then the doors closed behind her.


	67. Chapter 67

**I AM WRITING THE COURTROOM DRAMA - ITS NOT MY STRONG POINT - BUT i HOPE IT GETS THE STUFF ACROSS - :) PLEASE MESSAGE ME ANY COMMENTS YOU HAVE - AND REVIEW**

Everything in the room was made of wood. Everything seemed so impersonal and cold. The few rows of wooden chairs. The jury seating to the right. The stand where the judge would sit. And the spot where Chris would sit and give his testimony.

Two tables sat apart from each other. Loreial knew that one table was for her and Greg to sit at. The other one was for Chris and his lawyer. Greg showed her to her seat. Once she sat, she fiddled with her hands as she turned behind her to look and see who was sitting there. She didn't recognize most of the people there, some of them were reporters, she could tell by the badge that they wore on their jacket.

Then her eyes found Chris' parents. Straub was sitting there, staring her down. When she met his eyes, he stared back at her, then he did something that she would never forget how Chris would do it. He did a sweep down of her body. His eyes lingering at places that made her want to get into a shower and clean off. Then he found her eyes again and sneered at her. Shivering, she glanced at Francine's forlorned face before turning around. Greg just sat down beside her, and then he leaned over and said, "You have to focus on steading yourself."

She nodded. _Stop letting everyone get to you._ "How do I react during Chris' testimony?"

"Normally, in a case, I would tell the defendant to react to what he was saying. Because that would make the jury think that this was hurting you." And she nodded, but he said, "But because of the delicate situation right now, I think you just need to sit and respond how you do."

 _That makes this worse. Im scared at what my reaction will be._

She cleared her throat, "I'm so scared to see him again."

Greg just looked right into her eyes, and said, "Remember, he cannot hurt you anymore. He is handcuffed. He is under the custody of the state. He cannot hurt you."

She just turned back to the table and set her hands in her lap, fiddling with her fingers out of habit. And her mind took her away. _He cannot hurt you. How many times has that been told to me and he still did? How many times did he hurt me? How many times did he look into my eyes and tell me that I would never be safe from him? That I would die with him? That he would kill me? But now I have to just trust that he isn't going to hurt me? Whatever. And even if he can't bodily hurt me, he knows the triggers. He knows just how horribly easily he can hurt me with his words._

She didn't know how long she was spaced out, but she could feel the tension in the room as she looked up and saw through one of the doors in the front that a guard was coming through the door first. And then Chris.

He looked good. They must have let him clean up, because his face was cleanly shaved, his hair was cut. He was dressed in a nice suit, with a blue shirt and a navy tie. He looked just normal. As if he was going off to work.

But then she looked at his hands, cuffed in front of him.

And she looked down at her hands again, afraid to look up at him and see what she thought he would be glaring at her. _He looks so good – they're going to believe him. He looks like such a great guy. He looks so put together. Me?_ She looked at her simple outfit, simple in the fact that she still hadn't been able to wear anything that came a few fingers below her neck. So it was just a plan top, dressy, but just plain, and long dress pants. She looked so casual – not at all like Chris.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Luke rushed towards the jeep. When he got there, he found Rory sitting there, cigarette in her hand, just staring out the window of the closed vehicle.

Anger flooded his mind. He wasn't angry that she was smoking – well, that wasn't making him angry right now. _How can she just sit out here and leave her mother alone in there?_ He went to open the door, but it was locked.

Rory's eyes flew up to him, fear filling her eyes right away until it registered in her mind that it was just Luke.

"Open the door, Rory." He said, not really trying to keep his voice down at all.

She just shook her head.

 _What?_ He was astonished. "Rory, open the door. It's about time to start. Come on. You're going to be late."

She still didn't move to open the door.

He didn't know what to do. He wasn't a good father yet – he didn't know how to talk to women – well, women other than Lorelai. She was easy because she did most of the talking. But the whole rebellious kid thing was way over his head. _And this is so not like Rory._

"Rory, why don't you want to come in?" He asked, still having to yell to be heard in the car.

She let out a breath of smoke, and said, "I don't want to go in there." And now he saw the fear in her eyes – the fear that wasn't from being surprised, but from something else.

"Can you just let me in?" He asked. "I promise I won't make you go in if you don't want to." He just wanted to sit and think with her.

The doors clicked to unlock. And he got into the driver's seat of the car, the stench of cigarette smoke hit him – and he was actually thankful that it wasn't pot or anything else.

And they just sat there in silence for a few minutes. And he was fine with that – he couldn't go into the courtroom anyway. So he just sat there.

He was worried about Rory – about how she was taking all of this. He knew that from the beginning, this little girl was going to get hurt. Sure, her mother had protected her from the horrible physical harm that could have happened. But the scars on her arms were proof that she had experienced physical harm.

But his mind went back to the first week that she was home – alone – after getting out the hospital. And he remembered just how horrible she had felt.

 _Sookie answered the door, her face telling him everything. Something wasn't right._

 _"I'm sorry I had to call you, Luke." She apologized. "I just didn't know what to do." Her tone was defeated, and he could tell that she had been crying._

 _He just shrugged, walking in. The floor was covered over in tarps, from all the blood. He put it on his mental list of things to come over and fix._

 _"She's in her room."_

 _Luke nodded. He didn't know what Sookie thought he would do. He didn't know what he would do._

 _He walked into Rory's room, to find her curled up on her bed, laying on top of the covers, shivering and shuddering. Her head was covered in a wrap – because most of her hair had needed to be cut off to get to the wounds on her head. A tshirt on, her arms were covered in bandages, all the way from her wrists to past her tshirt sleeve. Her face had healing cuts with stitches open._

 _And she was crying. Not sobbing. Not uncontrolled. But tears just ran down her face as she stared at the door._

 _"She's been like this for almost three hours." Sookie said. "She won't eat. She won't take her medicine. She won't do anything except just lay there. And…"_

 _Sookie didn't get to finish because Rory just barely called out. "Mom? Mom?"_

 _Luke turned to Sookie, who nodded at him, "This is the only thing she's been doing." And Sookie had tears in her eyes as she said, "I don't know what to tell her."_

 _The deepness of the quiet, soft calling for Lorelai echoed in his heart. Her little voice, wrapped in the little body covered in wounds… it just broke his heart._

 _He went over and knelt by the bed. And it was then that he saw that she had something held close to her, laying underneath her._

 _"Rory, what is this?" He asked softly, pointing at the blue shiny material._

 _Rory looked down, and then said, "The dress mom made me for my first dance."_

 _Then she looked right into his eyes, and said, "Where is she? Is she coming back? What happened?"_

 _He just shook his head. "I don't know, kiddo." He had asked himself the same thing over and over again for the past three weeks since Lorelai had left. Since he had been kicked out of the hospital – and then she was gone._

 _And then Rory said the words that broke his heart even more, "I think she's dead."_

 _And those words hung in the air. Because he wasn't so sure that she wasn't right. No one had heard from Lorelai. No one had heard from Christopher. No one had heard._

 _And then she winced in pain, and tears came again._

 _"Rory, what's wrong."_

 _In a pained voice, "Everything hurts so much."_

"I just can't go in there and watch him hurt her again." She whispered, pulling him back to reality.

He just sat there, knowing how she was feeling. Because although he wanted to be there for Lorelai, he knew that sitting in there, watching how Chris was going to lie, going to twist the truth, going to make it look like Lorelai was the one in the wrong – and that would just kill him more.


	68. Chapter 68

PLEASE REVIEW! I REALLY WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS!

He walked up to the stand. Lorelai was just staring down at her hands. And she felt like everyone was watching her. She could feel the stares behind her, knowing her parents were there, his parents were there, and she assumed that Rory had snuck in there somewhere too. But she couldn't try and turn around to see, because she was just focused on staying present.

Chris' lawyer started out with the questions.

"State your name."

And she heard his voice again. She heard him.

"Christopher Hayden."

He was sworn in, where he swore to tell the truth – nothing but the truth. _He's going to say everything but the truth._ She thought. And she still couldn't look up.

Now the more serious questions started taking place.

"Were you married to a Lorelai Gilmore?" Hearing her name startled her, but she didn't look up.

"Yes."

"And for how long."

"One year." Chris said.

"How long have you known Miss Gilmore?"

"Wow, that's hard. Since we were just children. Maybe, 4? Or Five?" He guessed, his voice full of charisma – trying to win people over.

"And, in your opinion, is Miss Gilmore mentally stable?"

Her heart started to pound. _What kind of question is that? They're going to present the case that I'm insane?_

But her thoughts were interrupted as she felt Greg stand up swiftly beside her. "Objection. Your Honor, the question calls for speculation."

"Sustained." Came the ruling in their favor from the judge's box. "Mr. Hayden, you are not permitted to answer that question."

Chris' lawyer went on with his questions.

"You have a daughter with Miss Gilmore, is that correct?"

 _Rory._ Lorelai thought. _I hope Luke found her._

"Yes."

"How old is she?"

"Um." He stumbled, and she wanted to smile, showing the court just how little he was involved in his daugther's life. "She's 20."

"Are you involved in your daughter's life?" He asked, then added for clarification, "How involved are you in your daughter's life."

"Not much at all." Chris answered.

"And why is that?"

"Because her mother refuses to let me see her."

And that was when Lorelai looked up for the first time, confusion and anger removing her fear. She found his eyes. His blue eyes. And her mouth fell open in utter shock. _What a liar. I was the one who had to beg him to be part of her life. He was always walking out._

And he was staring at her. He had a fake face that was a victim, like he had been kept away from his daughter for a long time. He was a good actor. But Lorelai could see thorugh him. And she knew the truth.

"What are the reasons that she gives for keeping you away from your daughter?"

Lorelai was now looking at Greg, and leaned over and said, "I've never said…"

"I know. We'll get him in cross."

She sat back, and listened as Chris answered.

"She doesn't give any reasons. She just told me that it was better for our daughter if I didn't see her anymore."

Lorelai was fuming mad. _He was blatantly lying._

"Moving past your daughter, I want to ask you some questions about your ex-wife."

 _Here it comes._

"Have you ever forced her to have sexual intercourse with her."

Lorelai's face was now focused on Christopher's. And he was focused on his lawyer – like they had planned this or something. His face took a fake disgusted look.

"Oh, my. Never. I would never hurt Lorelai. I love her."

She felt her hands grip the underside of her chair, now leaning forward a bit in her chair as she watched him say the words that she had grown to loathe from him.

"Do you have any idea why Miss Gilmore would file charges against you that accused you of such heinous things?"

Greg jumped to his feet. "Objection, your Honor. Speculation."

"Sustained. Ask another question."

The lawyer had another question ready right away. "Did you ever hurt Miss Gilmore without her permission?"

 _What the fuck?_ She thought, knowing exactly where he was going to go with this line of questioning. And she started to freak out, knowing that he was going to make her look horrible – that he was going to make her look like she had been the one who had done wrong. She looked at Greg, who just told her to calm down, and that they would get him later when it was his turn to ask him questions.

Chris answered, "I never hurt her without her consent."

 _There was the word. They were going to…_

The next question came suddenly.

"Did you ever hurt Miss Gilmore with her permission?"

She stared at Chris, who now looked right at her. "I did. But only because she asked me to."

"Could you please tell us some of the things she asked for you to do to her that without her consent would have made it look like you were hurting her?"

"She loved being tied up." He said. _She could feel the burning of the leather in her wrists._ "She always wanted me to cause her as much pain while we were…" He looked at his lap, making it that he had a hard time saying the next word. _You have no heart – no embarrassment._ 'while we made love."

 _Making love? He never made love to her – he had sex with her – but there was no love involved in that act._

"Was there anything else that she liked that made you uncomfortable?"

"She was so sexually driven. She wanted to have sex more than I wanted to have sex. She would beg me, flirt with me, and almost push me into it quite a bit." Chris paused, and then said, "I mean, I know I'm a man, and I loved having sex with my beautiful wife. But she wanted it so rough, sometimes I just wanted to cuddle and feel the closeness instead of the raw, purely mechanical sex that she wanted."

"That's not true." Lorelai said out loud, speaking before she could tell herself not to.

Greg reached over and touched her hand, and she pulled it away.

The gavel pounded, and the stern, old man glared down at her and said, "You will control yourself in this court or I will have you removed."

She just nodded, feeling smaller than she had in a long time. She glanced up at Chris, who was beaming down on her, before he realized that the jury was probably looking at him, and he became a stone face until the next question was asked.

"Have you ever threatened to hurt your daughter in order to coerce Miss Gilmore into doing things that she didn't want to do?"

"I would never hurt my daughter." He said, and then added, "No, I have never threatened to hurt my daughter. And I have never tried to coerce Lorelai into anything."

She could hear something behind her, some mumbling. But it quieted down.

"Just once more, for the record, Christopher, would you ever hurt Lorelai Gilmore?"

She looked up to see Chris shaking his head. "No, I would never hurt Lorelai."

Then the lawyer turned around, and said, "No further questions at this time."

And Lorelai's heart fell. She knew the lawyer. His face came to her mind in such an obscene way. _The man between her legs pounded into her, each move of him inside of her ripped her insides apart. He had wrapped his hands around her hips for balance, and he violently dug his finernails into her skin too._

 _And now she was confronted with the face of the man who was still in the middle of finishing off inside of her. She just allowed her eyes to close – wanting nothing more than to curl up and die. She didn't want to be face with anything else. Maybe they were almost finished and would leave her alone now. He deposited his donation into her, and then pulled out of her – raking his hands up her broken and bleeding thighs, taking pleasure in seeing her grimace in pain. He grabbed her face, and violently kissed her. Her eyes flew open in confusion and surprise. He wasn't on there very long at all. But it was just enough for her to feel distracted._

And he just smiled at her.

She turned to Greg and frantically tugged on his suit. "Please, can we take a break? Can we leave? I need some air. I don't think I can…"

Greg nodded, stood up and said, "Your Honor, my client requests a ten minute recess because she isn't feeling well." He left it at that, and she was afraid the judge was going to think she was some weak woman. _Well, you just might be._ She thought, but was somewhat relieved when he agreed, and said the court would meet back in ten minutes, but that this couldn't happen everyime they switched people.


	69. Chapter 69

She couldn't tell anyone. She just sat there, knowing that Chris was surrounded by all of the men that had hurt her. She just lay her arms on the table in front of her and placed her head on her arms. She just laid there. Unable to cry. Unable to stop thinking about it. Unable to think clearly. Unable to stop thinking about his blue eyes piercing down into her heart as he shattered her reputation up there on the stand. As he took the pain that he had inflicted on her, and turned it around so now she looked like the disgusting and repulsive woman.

She heard voices behind her. People talking. She could feel people staring at her, their eyes drilling into her back, judging her, pitying her, hating her. She kenw her parents were back there – and if they had judged her at the party, this was going to be the icing on the cake. And she hated that Rory was hearing all of this.

 _Luke._ She thought, coveting being held in his arms, comforting her, covering her from the stares and hate and shame. But he couldn't' come in there right now. _Chris would be so angry._ She thought.

And some strength came back to her when she realized that the thought of Christopher being mad didn't scare her. It didn't frighten her that he wouldn't be happy with her. She didn't want him to be happy. She didn't want to appease him anymore. She was free from him. And she would put him in his place – where he belonged. In prison. Or in the grave. Whichever one worked.

Just then she heard everyone start filing into the courtroom again. She sat up, straightened her shirt out, and looked over at her lawyer.

He gave her a reassured look as the judge brought the court to order and gave Greg the signal to start his line of questioning.

And this one, Lorelai had to watch.

"Mr. Hayden, is it true that you were absent from your daughter's early life?"

Chris look confident up there, still sporting his kind and gentle face. "Yes."

"Was there a reason for that?"

"When she was 16, after she had the baby, Lorelai ran away and didn't tell anyone where she was going. I had no way of getting into contact with her for two or three years." He thought had won, she could tell.

But Greg continued on the question, "So, after three years, how old was your daughter?"

"She would have been 4."

"And how did you find out where the mother of your child had started a new life?"

Chris took a deep breath. "She contacted me."

Greg's voice strayed away from the monotone voice and now went for a mistrusting tone. "How did she contact you? "

"I don't remember, really. It was so long ago."

Greg turned back to the table and picked up a clear evidence bag, and said, "I would like to introduce evidence bag number 32 for admission into the court record." The judge gave permission. And Greg handed the bag to Chris to look at.

"Do you recognize this letter, Mr. Hayden?"

Chris looked a little afraid right now. He looked down and read it. And said, "I do."

"Could you please tell the court what significance this letter holds to you?"

He cleared his throat, and looked up at her. "This is the letter that Lorelai wrote to me."

"When did she write this to you?"

"When Rory was four."

Greg seemed like he was excited, "Could you please read the letter out loud for the court?"

She could tell he was getting angry. _Serves him right._

She remembered that letter. She had been so afraid to write it. But it had been a good choice, in her mind as a young mother.

 _Dearest Christopher,_

 _I have put off writing this letter for as long as my conscience will let me. I don't do well with writing, as you can remember from high school English class. But I figured that it was time that you heard from me._

 _I am sorry I left without telling you where I was going. It wasn't something I wanted to do like I had to do, but my parents left me with little choice. When they refused to let me see Rory unless I did what they wanted, like going to parties, wearing certain things, or just doing what they wanted, I knew that was the last straw. And I left._

 _I've been living and working at the Independence Inn in Stars Hallow, a small town a little way from Hartford. Rory is growing up so much. She's counting and can read some words, which, at four, I've read is very progressive for a child her age. She has the cutest laugh, and she loves helping me around the Inn as I work._

 _I wish I knew how to tell you this. I love little Rory so much, more than I love living. And I have loved seeing her start crawling, start walking, running, reading, recognizing colors, and just watching her interacting with the world around her that fascinates her so much._

 _And I apologize that I haven't let you experience this. I am sorry that these first few years of her life were ruined by the fact that I didn't trust anyone to get close to my daughter. At least, no one from the life I left. I didn't want her to be hurt like I had been hurt by my parents. But that isn't your fault. And I am sorry you missed this._

 _The whole point of this letter is to tell you that I want you to be involved in your daughter's life. I want you to be here when she goes to her first day of kindergarten, I want you to see more than just pictures of her growing up. I want her to know her father, to know the comfort of having two parents who love her._

 _So this is the invitation. I know that things didn't work out with the two of us, but I want this to work with you and Rory. She needs her father. And, even though you don't know just yet, you need your daughter. Please know that I'm not hiding her from you. I want you to be here for her._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Lor_

Chris finished reading, and looked up at her. And he knew he had just screwed himself over.

Greg cleared his throat, "Now, Mr. Hayden, in what part of that letter did you see that Lorelai didn't want you to be involved in your daughter's life?"

Chris' lawyer piped up, "Objection, your Honor, speculation."

Greg wasn't going to let this question fade away. He addressed the judge, "Your honor, there is no speculation because the letter was just read – all of the evidence is right there. No reason to speculate."

The judge considered it, and said, "Overruled." And he turned to Chris and said, "Please answer the question."

Chris didn't know what to do, Lorelai could tell. "Well, in this particular letter, it wasn't clear that she didn't want me with her."

Greg chuckled, and asked, "Could you read the last line of the letter one more time?"

Chris' face was red, and he looked down and hissed out the words, "I want you to be here for her."

The next question took a completely different turn.

"Mr. Hayden, have you ever sexually assaulted any women other than Miss Gilmore?"

"Objection, your honor, the question assumes facts not in evidence."

The judge growled down at Greg. "Sustained. You should have learned that in law school."

Greg just nodded, but Lorelai knew he wasn't that bad of a lawyer.

He rephrased the question, "Have you ever been charged with sexually assaulting a woman?"

Lorelai sat up in her seat, listening intently. She was confused where this was going, because she never thougth that Chris would have…

"Yes." He said quietly.

 _What? How on earth did I not know? When?_ The questions flooded through her mind.

And Greg continued. "When did this charge happen?"

Chris didn't answer for a long time, and he said, "When I was 21."

"And what were the charges against you?"

"I don't remember."

Greg again presented evidence, something being police reports. And he again asked Chris to read it to the court.

"The young woman in question was rushed to the emergency room, where she was treated with a rape kit, that came back without any conclusive evidence. She was, however, battered and bloodied. She told reported that she had been attacked by her boyfriend, Christopher Hayden, when she refused to give consent to have intercourse with him."

Then on the screen before the jury, there were countelss pictures being displayed of the girl's wounds that had been photographed.

 _Those could just as well have been you._ Lorelai thought. _The handprint bruises on her wrists. The bruised jawline from a backhand. The scratch marks on her legs. The swollen lip caked with blood._

Greg entered more evidence into the court record, and handed Chris a police report to read again. The pictures from the girl still on the screen.

Chris began reading.

"35 year old female admitted to the hospital with major signs of prolonged trauma. Bruising and lacerations over her whole body. Blunt force trauma caused her right lung to collapse and two ribs to break. Chest tube was inserted to help her breathe. Marks of strangulation were evident around her neckline, rope burns all the way around her throat. Two major lacerations needed to be attended to, one on her left arm, one across her abdominal cavity. Healing lacerations to her breasts were evident as having happened in the past, along with major cutting marks on her legs that were in the same healing stage. There was conclusive evidence that she had sexual intercourse in the last few hours. A rape kit was completed. There was major tearing to the vaginal wall, both current and healing. "

Greg continued on, the pictures on the screen changing. But to pictures that Lorelai recognized. Because it was her. But there were no pictures of her face up there on the screen, and that was the only thing that made it better for her. But she still looked away right away, looking down at her own hands, knowing that it was just a matter of time that Greg revealed who the pictures were of.

"Mr. Hayden, could you read the conclusive evidence of the rape kit? It's in the second paragraph down."

Chris' voice shook as he read, "The DNA match was found to be one of a Christopher Hayden."

And gasps came from the audience.

And Greg asked the clincher question. "Could you read the name of the person at the top of the report – the one who was admitted into the hospital with these injuries?"

And Lorelai waited for the pin to drop. To hear him read the name. To hear the audience react. And she was right. She just looked at her hands as she heard Chris say.

"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore Hayden."

The uproar behind her was expected, and Greg said, before the judge could call the court to order, "No further questions at this time."

 **PLEASE REVIEW - I CAN SEE REVIEWS AGAIN - SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW :) i WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS!**


	70. Chapter 70

**THIS CHAPTER IS FOR ONE OF MY READERS WHO LOVES EMILY - I WANTED TO SHOW HER HUMAN SIDE A BIT.**

 **THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. I WASN'T SURE I WAS GOING TO WRITE ANYMORE TODAY - BUT THEN ALL THOSE REVIEWS - IF I GET SOME GOOD ONES ON THIS CHAPTER - I JUST MIGHT WRITE A BIT MORE TOO!**

Emily leaned against her husband, a handkerchief against her face as she tried to hold herself together. But her stomach turned with the description of what Lorelai had been admitted into the hospital with. The horrible things that she had to have suffered to go to the hospital with those kinds of injuries. And the grotesque pictures left nothing for the imagination – the bruises, cuts, scars, blood – it was all there.

"Oh, Richard." She whispered, her head buried into his suitcoat. She knew he was also crying, but she knew that he had the physical memories from that night – the physical memories of finding her there. _My little girl, how hurt she must be._

And then Emily looked up, able only to see Lorelai's back, which was hunched over the table, her head in her hands. And she only wondered what pain she must be feeling right now – sitting in front of the man that had done this to her. Having him degrade her character right up there in front of people.

And what was about to happen, that only Emily and Richard knew – that was going to hurt her even more. But she couldn't change that at all.

The lawyer for Christopher, someone that Richard had worked with a few years ago, had sent a subpoena to both of them – telling them that they were required to appear in court today. To testify.

"The next witness we call to the stand will be a Mrs. Emily Gilmore."

Emily watched as Lorelai whipped around, scanning the crowd until she found her mother. And the look of sheer betrayal was on her face – as if Emily had abandoned her yet again. Her blue eyes pierced through whatever dignity that Emily had left as she made her way to the stand, where she was sworn in, and asked to please be seated by Christopher's lawyer.

Emily couldn't look at Lorelai. Because she just hated what was going to happen. They were about to use her testimony to hurt Lorelai's case. But there was nothing she could do. She couldn't leave – she was required by law to be here. She knew Lorelai wouldn't believe her. So she just sat there and started asking questions.

"Mrs. Gilmore, how long have you known my client, Mr. Hayden?"

Emily remembered how Lorelai and Chris used to play together, causing mischief at all the parties, and just being wonderful playmates as children. "Since he was born."

The lawyer smiled politely at her, then asked, "And what was your reaction when you were informed that your daughter was pregnant and that Christopher was indeed the father?"

 _That was a horrible day in the Gilmore house._ She thought, but she couldn't think about that. "I was devastated that my daughter wouldn't get to finish high school, that she would be saddled with a child at such a young age, and forced to grow up and make the hard decisions."

"Is it true that you agreed with your husband that Christopher and Lorelai should be married as soon as possible?"

"Yes." Of course she had felt that way.

"Why was that the push?"

Emily hesitated. Because she had since changed her opinion about the matter. "At that time, we only wanted what was best for the two of them. In our minds, when a girl got pregnant, she got married." She started to clarify, "Now, of course…"

But was interrupted by another question, "Did either of the two agree to the plans?"

Emily was still looking at her hands, but this time she looked up and found her daughter – who was obviously angry, staring down at her own hands. "Lorelai was the only sane one in the group. She refused to marry Christopher."

That wasn't what the lawyer was looking for – he didn't want to make Lorelai look good. So he rephrased the question, "Was Christopher willing to marry Lorelai?"

Emily just nodded, then said, "Yes."

Now the questions started to get hard. The questions that she knew were going to be tough. That were going to make Lorelai think that she was on Chris' side.

"Is it true that Christopher was someone that, even later on in her life, you wanted for your daughter to marry?"

"Yes."

"Is it true that even at one point you went over to Mr. Hayden's house, and told him that he needed to pursue your daughter?"

Emily hated that she had to honestly say "Yes."

Lorelai was now looking up at her, tears in her eyes. Angry tears. _She knows that I pushed him on her – that if I hadn't, this might not have happened._ Now tears came to Emily's eyes.

"Even after Lorelai and Christopher were married, did you notice that there was something going on between the two of them? That there was something that was pushing them apart?"

Emily remembered back to the night she had gone to Lorelai's house. "Yes."

And then came the kicker question – the hardest part of her guilt that she still struggled with. "Did you tell her that she needed to stay in her marriage? That no matter what, her marriage was the most important thing?"

Tears were now flowing down her face. "Yes." She choked out.

Christopher's lawyer turned away and said, "No further questions."

The courtroom sat there in silence. And she kenw they were all thinking that she had told her daughter to stay there in the horrible relationship – or that the relationship couldn't have been as bad as it was because her own mother had told her to stick it out.

Lorelai's lawyer stood to his feet. And he didn't even approach the stand, and he said, "What do you regret about your advice to your daughter?"

Emily realized that he was giving her a chance to defend herself, to redeem herself in front of the court. But she didn't care what everyone in the court thought. She didn't care what the news thought she was. She didn't care about what they thought.

She just cared about her little girl right there in front of her – the one with hurt all over her face – the one who would not speak to her ever again. This was the last time she was going to see her daughter – because no matter how much Lorelai wanted to, there was nothing that would ever bridge this gap. But Emily had to tell her that she was sorry.

So, looking right at her angry daughter, Emily began, "Of course there is something I would like to clarify. I never ever would have told Lorelai to stay with someone if I had thought there was any danger in the situation. I didn't know." Lorelai flinched, and Emily remembered something she had said in the hospital. "I didn't look hard enough. I was too concerned about what people thought of me and the family to care about looking into my daughter's life."

Emily was now sobbing. And she couldn't continue. Her whole body shook as she looked down at her daughter. And she just said, "I'm so sorry."

And then Lorelai's lawyer said, "No further questions."

And she was dismissed from the stand.

And she walked past her daughter, and she was sure that it was for the last time.


	71. Chapter 71

**OK - THE FIRST DAY OF THE TRIAL IS ALMOST DONE - THEN WE WILL GET A BIT OF A BREAK BEFORE LORELAI HAS TO TESTIFY. THANK YOU ALL FOR STICKING WITH ME SO FAR - I WOULD SAY THAT THE STORY HAS A LITTLE BIT TO GO - BUT IT'S GOING TO START RESOLVING WITH MOST THINGS HERE SOON.**

Lorelai watched as they used her mother against her. She watched as her mother broke down on the stand – something that Lorelai had never seen even at the house, much less out in public. She couldn't imagine that her mother was hurting so much. _Is it because of what people were thinking about their family? Was it such a horrible thing that happened to her that her parents were so embarrassed?_ Emily hated public displays of affection.

 _Maybe she really meant it?_ Lorelai thought. _It doesn't really mean anything, whether she did or didn't. Whether she really was sorry or not. Because of her and dad, he got out of prison. He came after me because they wouldn't leave my life alone._

"The defense calls a Mr. Richard Gilmore to the stand as the next witness."

Lorelai didn't know how much more of this she could take. All of the people who had been antagonistic in her life were standing up there and giving testimony against her. And she didn't want to face her father again. Such shame and guilt that he had given her that night in his office. Every time he looked at her, she just heard the way that Chris had used him to manipulate her. And hurt her.

She just watched as he was sworn in, and she noticed that he seemed to have lost weight – and his face wasn't as rosy as it normally was. _He looks worried._ She thought.

And Chris' lawyer started in.

"Mr. Gilmore, did you or did you not bail Christopher out of jail on the night of May 3?"

Her father nodded, then said, "I did bail him out of jail that night."

 _Of course you did. You let him into that hospital. And he made me leave my little girl there. You did that._ Lorelai blamed him completely for that.

"The same night that Christopher was arrested on the 30th of August, you had a conversation with him earlier that evening, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

Lorelai knew exactly what conversation that they were talking about.

 _And he said, "Lorelai, I wish you had learned the first time you got pregnant that the life of sleeping around and using your body to get you what you want isn't the life you wanted. Maybe with a good man, a patient man, like Christopher, maybe youll realize that you are a good woman, just you, you don't need to use your body to find fulfilment in life."_

"Did you, or did you not tell your daughter that she was with a patient man? That Christopher would help her realize how much potential she had as a wife?"

Richard didn't answer for a few minutes. And when the lawyer asked the question again, his quiet reply was barely heard. "I did."

 _It hurt so much that you said that, Dad._

And now the lawyer asked, "When Lorelai left your office that night, you spoke more with Mr. Hayden. Do you remember what you said to him?"

Lorelai was watching her father with interest and fear – she wanted to know what he had told Chris, but she was afraid to think of what had been said.

Richard cleared his throat. And said, "I told him that he was paying for my mistakes with my daughter."

 _He was so ashamed of me._ She thought. And then looked at her hands and thought _He's ashamed of me right now too._

"What did you mean by 'mistakes'?"

"I couldn't stop her from getting pregnant." He said.

That was it. She had to see how Rory was doing. Because whenever the subject of her birth was brought up, Lorelai never wanted her to feel like this was her fault. But as she scanned the crowd, she saw that Rory must have already left – must have felt too horrible to stay there in the courtroom while her birth was talked about as a mistake. She turned back around with anger in her eyes, knowing that her father and his testimony must be hurting her daughter.

"What else did you say to Christopher that night in your office?"

 _You said more?_

"I told him that he needed to control her somehow."

Tears came to her eyes as her father looked at her. She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to tell him that he had been controlling every single aspect of her mind and body for the whole time she had been with him. _He was controlling me to make you think I wasn't under control, you asshole._

"Did you tell him anything else?"

There was hesitation. And he was still watching her. And she was watching him. And his voice cracked. And she could see tears forming in his eyes. And then the words came from him that just devastated her whole being.

"I told him… I said that it would… that, it would be better if she was … well, if she was…" he was having such a hard time talking. "better if she was… dead… than to have her destroy our family name the way that she was."

She couldn't be strong anymore. She put her head in her hands, and she just sat there, tears streaming down her face, her whole body shaking. And she sobbed. Loudly. Just broke down. He had broken her.

She remembered back to the night that Chris had taken her home, beaten her up in the limo on the way home, and had proceeded to inflict every pain she had suffered throughout the last few months. And then he had cut into her, not like the little cuts on her legs, but seeming to slice her body up – not caring that she was bleeding to death. He was going to strangle her – to death.

All because of what her father had said.

Everyone was looking at her. And she could feel it. And she didn't care.

And she heard Chris' lawyer say, "No further questions."

And then her lawyer stood up and said, "No further questions."

And the court was dismissed.

And she just sat there and cried.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up expecting to see Luke or Rory's hand. But it was her father.

"Lorelai, I am so…"

She pulled away from him, fear in her heart, anger in her eyes. "Get the hell away from me."


	72. Chapter 72

**I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME THINGS CLEARED UP HERE - i HOPE THAT YOU LIKED THE TRIAL SO FAR - ITS BEEN HARD TO WRITE BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ANY BACKGROUND IN WRITING COURTROOM DRAMA.**

 **THE SCENES WITH RICHARD AND EMILY REALLY WERE THE ONE WAY THAT I KNEW TO SHOW HOW MUCH THEY HAD HURT LORELAI - ESPECIALLY RICHARD - BUT ALSO TO SHOW THAT THEY BOTH WERE SORRY FOR WHAT HAD HAPPENED. THERES SO MUCH MORE THAT NEEDS TO BE RECONCILED BETWEEN THEM, BUT WE SHALL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.**

 **btw richard wasn't questioned over by Lorelai's lawyer because she was freaking out so much, crying. when it's her turn for the lawyer to call witnesses, they are going to call richard. :)**

 **THIS NEXT SCENE WAS JUST A SMALL WAY OF TAKING A STEP AWAY FROM THE COURTROOM. AND FROM THE HARD THINGS THAT ARE COMING IN THE NEXT SCENE. IN NO WAY AM I SAYING THAT LORELAI IS TURNING TO DRUGS AT ALL - SHE JUST NEEDED ONE THING THAT NIGHT. SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS SCENE AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE NEXT SCENE**

Lorelai pulled on her coat. Luke had just left them after making sure that both her and Rory had eaten. Rory had gone straight to her room when they had gotten home.

Lorelai still couldn't talk about what had happened at the courthouse. She was actually kind of relieved when she found out that Luke and Rory had not been in any of the testimonies during the day. She just cringed when she thought about them knowing all that had been said during the day. She hated that she knew, much less the people closest to her.

She stepped out into the cold, pulling the door closed behind her. It was completely dark outside. The town had shut down hours ago. And she was glad of that.

She wanted to sit in the darkness. She wanted to sit and look up at the sky. Actually, she just wanted to lay down and look at the stars. She made her way out into the middle of the lawn, and she lay down on her back, staring up at the stars. The infinite amount of lights out there, the beauty of the clear lights spoke to her soul.

She just laid there. Letting the cares from the day slip out and dissipate into the universe, just as her breath was doing in the cold night air. The grass grounding her underneath, the sky releasing her above.

"Can I join you?" A voice whispered above her. _Rory._

"Sure." She said, smiling, and patted the ground beside her. She could feel the small bit of warmth as Rory laid beside her.

"I'm not going to ask you a million questions about today." Rory said.

Lorelai said, "Thanks."

She could smell the smoke from the joint in Rory's hand. Her nerves were so shot. She was so stressed from what happened that day. And so she said, "Let me have a drag?"

Lorelai was expecting Rory to sit up, to look down at her with astonishment. To ask her questions. To laugh at her and say that no thirty-five year old mother would sit there and smoke pot with their kid.

But Rory didn't sit up. Rory didn't stare at her. Rory didn't say anything. Rory didn't laugh. Rory just held the joint up in the air, so Lorelai could take it from her.

Lorelai put it to her mouth, and took a deep breath, allowing the smoke to fill her lungs, warming them from the cold, numbing them with the amazing power of this weed. And then she let the air out, watching the smoke curdle up into the sky.

Then she handed the joint back to Rory. But Rory just said, "I'm lighting my own. Keep that one."

Lorelai just took another breath, and then said, "This doesn't mean that I endorse this for you. Or that I'm doing right. But…"

Rory's voice sounded so much more grownup when she said, "I know, mom. You just needed this."


	73. Chapter 73

**A BIT OF MYSTERY AND PUZZLES HERE - AND I HOPE THAT YOU WOULD LEAVE A REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING TO BE IN IT - WHAT HE IS GOING TO FIND !**

I thought you said you had this under control!" Chris yelled across the table.

His lawyer, Hugh, said, "I do have this under control."

Chris was livid. After having to sit there in that witness stand and read himself into a conviction, he knew that their perfect plan for blaming everything on Lorelai and him getting off completely free was crumbling.

"I am not about to spend any more time in this fucking prison." He yelled. "I thought you said that there was no fucking way that any of this would look like it was my fault."

"You didn't tell me that you had a previous assault charge!"

Chris banged his fist on the table in anger. "You're the fucking lawyer. I thought you would do your damn job!"

He could see the fear in Hugh's eyes. Chris was paying him big bucks to make sure that they got the charges dropped.

Suddenly the doors to the room opened, and a guard came in and showed another person in.

"Where the hell have you been, Jason?" Chris asked, looking the disheveled man over. Jason's face was covered in an unkempt beard, his clothes wrinkled, and he held his side as he sat down in the empty chair across from Chris.

Jason just glared at him. "I've been in jail."

Chris knew something was wrong. He knew that Lorelai had been too confident in that courtroom. Jason hadn't gotten to her.

"For what?"

Jason just smirked. "Like you don't know." Then he explained, "That bitch of yours has a way with blades." He pulled the sleeve up on his shirt, showing that his whole forearm was wrapped in gauze. "She almost killed me. She stabbed me through my ribs." He pointed to his side, and then said, "And then when I tried to leave, she fileted my arm."

 _Lor, you never learn, do you?_ Chris thought.

"So you didn't do what I wanted you to?"

Jason looked angry, "What the fuck, Chris? She attacked me! There was no way while I'm sitting there bleeding like a stuck pig that I'm going to fuck your wife to make her do what we want her to!"

"She's a fucking woman, Digger." He knew using Jason's nickname was going to put him back in his place. "You let that weak woman get the best of you!"

Jason opened his mouth to yell back at him, but Chris stopped him and continued, "Well, what's done is done. We have to pick up the pieces and get our shit together because otherwise we are all going down."

Both Hugh and Jason agreed.

"Anyone have any ideas?" Chris asked.

They all sat there thinking. And then Jason asked, "How were we with Mitchum and Rory?"

Chris remembered his conversation with Mitchum a few days before. "Lor went to the house at the Vineyard. She about freaked out, pretty much dragged Rory out of that house, Rory kicking and screaming."

He remembered Mitchum's bruised face. And he said, "Lor has gotten stronger as she's been away from us. She attacked him before she left."

Jason piped up, "See, it wasn't just me."

Chris continued, "Mitchum did say that Rory's gotten herself into trouble with drugs and alcohol."

Hugh piped up. "So, if we can't make Lorelai afraid by putting Rory in Mitchum's house, could we use Rory against her?"

Chris started thinking. _If Rory's having problems with drugs, what if we…_

And then it was settled. He looked at Jason, and said, "I have got the perfect plan."

Both men were listening intently. "Lorelai gives her testimony on Monday. That's the last chance that we have to show her that bad things are going to happen if she tells the truth – if she exposes everything." They nodded in agreement. "We all know that once she's in that witness stand, she's the one in control."

Then he smiled at the genius of his plan. "Unless we use that stand against her."

"What? I'm confused." Jason asked, leaning closer.

"What if Rory somehow came across a very potent drug – something that would completely knock her out?"

Both men looked confused. He continued. "Lorelai will come in early to prepare for her testimony. Rory won't come in with Lorelai – it would be too painful to hear the preparation." They nodded, following him. "Well, all we have to do is somehow get someone to get drugs to Rory – something that will knock her out – and then just take her a few blocks away or something and put her in an alley or somewhere hard for people to find her. When they find her, it will just look like she had to go get her fix. But before they find her, I'm sure that someone will come and give Lorelai a message that Rory is missing. And Lorelai will look at me and know that this is the last chance she has to save her daughter. And then she has no power left."

He finished his speech, and looked on and saw that their evil sides were also working.

Then the thought, _Take that, Lor. I'm going to break you still."_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan hated being away from Rory for so long. Two weeks was way too long. He missed being with her, hearing her laugh, giving her hugs, waking up with her beside him.

But after the incident at his father's house, he knew that something was wrong with the whole situation. And he didn't know what it was – but he felt that Rory just might be in danger if she was with him.

It wasn't the first time that he had suspected his father of doing something horrible. His father was the king of hiding and concealing his wicked side. Logan had seen the books – there were so many charges that went towards repairs or other miscellaneous items that didn't exist. He knew there was something wrong with this situation – and he knew that he had to find out what.

So the day after the incident at the house, when Lorelai had dragged Rory out of the house after attacking his father, Logan had started searching. He needed answers.

He had started with his father's study at the main house. The only thing he found was some proof that his father was getting some on the side – condoms in the office? Moving to his father's office, he had started looking through the files, started trying to find something that would show him what had happened between his father and Lorelai. Something told him that it wasn't just sleeping together – she had been too angry, too terrified, too rattled to have it have been an affair.

It was Friday night, and his father thought he was out partying somewhere – not that his dad ever cared where he was. But tonight, he found himself in his father's office in New York. The last of the offices that he had been searching.

So far, he had found a few things out. First, he found out that although his father had been gone on a business trip at the beginning of august, he found no record of any business that he had been on. Except the fact that his household expenses showed that he had allotted 3,000 dollars for the trip that there was no business to have been done.

Next, he found that after that, almost every Friday, his father had spent 1,500 dollars, despite being in town – not just being in town, but being at a party with his mother – another one of their high society parties.

 _How does this intersect with Lorelai?_

The money had gone from his father's bank account to an offshore fund, and then transferred back to another account in Boston. Each time. The same procedure.

Boston.

Now he took the paperwork and started looking through for any receipts from purchases in Boston. Only one, for the night that the 3,000 had gone through the account – he found a receipt for a gas station right outside of Boston.

He had to find out what the connection was to Boston. He just wondered how Lorelai fit into this whole thing. He remembered Rory saying that her mother had recently divorced her father, and that they were going to court.

He put in the last name of Rory's dad into the database. And he found his connection.

The account in Boston – registered to a Christopher Hayden.

 _So there is a connection here – but what connection that would make Lorelai go off so much?_

His father was meticulous in keeping records. He printed emails out, wanting to have all the information for if he ever needed to use it as blackmail. He kept all his financial record. He kept all pictures. Anything – it must be the old reporter in him.

So he started going through the filing system – going through each paper, scanning for any reference to Lorelai, Christopher, Boston, Rory – anything.

He checked a file, set it aside, then checked another file, set it aside – he would replace them when he was done. He finished with the whole filing cabinet, and was about to replace it when he noticed a cardboard sheet on the bottom of the drawer. He pulled at it, and it came up, and revealed yet one more file.

And he opened it, and found papers that looked to be contracts. And a CD. A CD that had the name HAYDEN written across it.

He knew he had found his connection. He knew that there must be something in here. And he knew that as hidden as this had been, this was sensitive information.

Meticulously putting everything back to the way it had been in the office, he tucked the file into his jacket, and left the office.


	74. Chapter 74

**TO QUOTE ONE OF MY GREAT REVIEWERS AND FRIENDS: ITS HAPPENING :) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!**

It was Saturday morning. She didn't have to leave her house today. She didn't have to go to court. She didn't have to face anyone. She could just stay home, in her pajamas, drink coffee, watch TV, and just recover.

And dread what was going to happen on Monday – it was her turn to give her testimony – to be questioned over and over about things her mind kept going over and over. Greg had told her that it was going to be very hard for them to prove that it wasn't just her word against his. Of course, the accusation that Lorelai had asked Chris to do all of those things to her – that was going to throw everything into a battle of who said what. He said it was going to be tough.

So she didn't want to think about it – she didn't want to think that her words could be twisted – that her experiences could be blamed on her – she didn't want to think about any of that.

So she had sent Rory to get breakfast from Luke's, and bring her back coffee and something to eat. She was also going to stop by the movie store and get some classics for them to hang out and watch.

She cringed when she heard a knock on the door. _I don't want to get up. I don't want to see anyone._ So she ignored it, until she realized that the television was on. And they could hear that through the door.

But when she opened the door, she was so surprised. Pulling her robe closed, she said, "Logan? What are you doing here?" She didn't say it accusing, but she didn't know how else that question would come across. So she added, "Rory's not here. She just left to go get…"

He interrupted her, "I know. I waited for her to leave."

Lorelai was afraid.

"I have something I wanted to show you. Alone."

She didn't want to let him in. She didn't want to show him into her house – her safe place. Because he represented everything that she hated about life right now. He was the son of a horrible monster. He was the one who had been living with her daughter without her permission or knowledge.

But he was also the one who had no color in his face. His lip was bleeding, and he looked like he hadn't slept in a few days. His hands were shaking. He couldn't look at her in the eye – he was nervous about something.

She stepped aside to let him in. He walked in, briefcase in hand. She gestured to the table in the kitchen. He walked in ahead of her, sat down at the table, and began to unpack his laptop.

And she slid into a chair opposite of him, and he started talking. "I want you to know that I had no idea what had happened."

She took a sharp breath. _What happened? How do you know what happened?_

He continued, "After what happened at the house, I had to know what had caused you and my father to react to each other the way that you had."

She swallowed hard, trying to keep her stomach in check as her mind remembered the feelings against Mitchum.

He took out a disc and slid it into the drive. And he said, "After much searching, I found something I know that you don't want to see, but something that is going to seal the deal with your case."

 _He did this to help me?_ And she asked, "What?"

He pulled out papers from the briefcase. And handed them to her. "I found these – which will be accepted into evidence in court."

The papers.

One line stood out to her among all the others. _And the unrestricted access to a one Lorelai Hayden for the pleasure of the signee for the price of $1,500 dollars to be deposited no later than 4 hours before access is granted._

Her hands started to shake. And she realized that in her shaking hands she held the proof that what she had said was true – that she hadn't imagined such a horrible thing in her mind – that this had happened – that this was a horrible reality – not an imagination.

The stack of papers was thick. And Lorelai realized that she had access to all the names of the men – all of them. Not even just from that one night. But from the rest of the time she had been imprisoned with Chris – every party that she had been pulled away into a corner closet, small bedroom, secluded bathroom – every man who had taken such pleasure in raping her with their wives just a few rooms away – every slap that she had inflicted upon her to demean her – every name that she had been called as they forced themselves onto her. It was all here.

And then she looked up at Logan, and brushed the tears from her eyes. And realized that he had tears in his eyes.

And he said, "I am so sorry."

Then she realized it. Not only was this boy giving her everything she needed to put Chris away. But he was giving her everything she needed to put his father away.

"Logan…"

But he interrupted her. "There's more." And then he hesitated, and said, "I don't know if you want to see this. Just tell me if you want me to stop."

And then he pushed play.

And she watched as a room came into view. And she shuddered.

It was a room. A big room. A bedroom. With a king size bed in the middle. A poster bed – with strong posts on each corner of the bed.

From each corner of the bed, she could see straps. Straps stretching towards the middle of the bed. And they wrapped around a small form on the bed. Naked. Shivering.

And then she saw in the corner someone enter the room. It was Chris. And Jason. And Mitchum.

 _The night. It was on tape?_ She closed her eyes not wanting to see any more. But she asked Logan, "How much?"

And he said, "All of it. The whole thing."

And with that, she stood up and leaned over the sink and retched. Over and over again. Her entire body wanting to rid her of the horrible memories, of the thoughts that came with watching that video. To purge her from the feelings that overwhelmed her entire body.

When she finished, and wiped her mouth, she could feel tears on her face as she turned around. And he had turned it off. And put his computer away. The disc was sitting on top of the stack of papers.

He said, "I know that seeing me must be difficult, after what my father did."

She nodded, but didn't stop looking at him. "It is."

"And right now, I know that it's dangerous for me to be with Rory." Logan said, then pointed at his lip and said, "It's dangerous for me just being me."

Her motherly side kicked in and asked, "What happened?"

He looked down, and said, "My dad heard that I was asking questions around the office about where he had been that night." And he paused and said, "He kicked me out when I told him that the way he had responded to you that day at the house was horrible."

 _He stood up to his father? He must have known that bringing this to me – when his father finds out, he is going to be in danger._ And she walked over to him. She was standing really close to him. And she said, "Do you have a place to stay?"

He shook his head. "My father canceled all my credit cards, the lease on my apartment." And he looked at the disc on the table. "And he doesn't even know that I found these. I think he will try to kill me when he finds out that I have these for you."

Her heart went out for the kid. And she couldn't help but wonder what she could do to repay him for the horrible trouble that he was going through for her – to get her the proof that she needed to prosecute. _He did this for you. For Rory. He forsake his family – and you know what that's like. After you left Harford, you remember the completely empty feeling that no one in the world cared for you. That you had no idea where you were going to sleep – how you were going to eat – how anything._

She told him to wait right there in the kitchen. She went over to the phone in the living room, and dialed the diner.

"Luke's." Luke answered.

"I need a favor." She said, knowing he would know who she was.

His voice sounded a little afraid. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

And she just asked, "Do you still have that mattress from when Jess stayed with you?"

"Yeah…" he answered, confusion in his voice. "Why..?"

And she said, "Remember how horribly lost I was when I came into town for the first time after leaving home?"

"Yeah… I'm still confused."

And then she said, "I need you to be someone's Mia."


	75. Chapter 75

**JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS ONE WAS A HARD SCENE TO WRITE - I DEBATED ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE - BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS.**

 **IF YOU LISTEN TO MUSIC WHILE YOU READ - WROTE THIS ONE WHILE LISTENING TO "I WON'T LET YOU GO" LET ME KNOW IF YOU LISTEN AND CAN SEE THAT THIS GOES :)**

 **AND IF YOU CRY - LET ME KNOW TOO - THEN I WONT BE ALONE**

Rory couldn't believe just how different her life had become today. Today her Yale life and her Stars Hollow life intersected. She had been so excited to come home and find Logan there with her mother, and then to find out that he was staying here in Stars Hollow – she was just so astonished. But happy astonished.

She had brought the rest of the food home, while her mother had gone to show Logan where the diner was, introduce him to Luke, and thank Luke for taking him in. Before her mom had left, she promised to tell Rory the whole story about how this had come to be.

But Rory didn't care how it had come to be – she was going to be able to see Logan – and her mother wasn't super opposed to him, seeing as how she had invited him to come stay here in Stars Hollow on her own. And finding him a place to stay. It was just so amazing.

Bringing the food into the kitchen she went to set it on the table, but there was some paperwork and stuff on it. She set the bags down on the kitchen cabinet, and turned around to clear off the table when she saw a CD and papers.

She held the CD in one hand and picked up the stack of papers and looked at them.

And as she read through the top paper, she didn't know what to do. She knew it was some kind of contract because of the agreement clause at the top, the signatures on the bottom. But when she read the clause in the middle about the signee paying money to use her mother as – she started to shake. She started to realize just how elaborate this plan had been. How absolutely horrendous of a situation this was. And then she started to flip through the stack of paper. And one thing stuck out to her: the one signature that was always on the paper. It was her father's. Under the one giving consent for the others to have control over her mother.

Her father.

He did this.

He gave her mother away like…

Then she remembered the CD in her hand.

And before she knew it, she was sitting on the couch, with the CD in the player in the living room – it seemed to play like a DVD. The papers were still in her hand.

And she sat there, and watched as a dark room came into view. She struggled to see through the darkness, but she could see something on the bed – she couldn't tell what it was. She could see some movement in the first few minutes – like someone walked into the room. And she couldn't see super clearly.

Until, after about a minute, the light in the room in the video flipped on.

And she screamed in terror at what she was seeing.

Her mother was tied to the bed, her body completely exposed. Her hands stretched above her. Her legs separated below her. The whole bed was covered in blood. Her legs were bloody. The look of terror on her face made Rory start to cry even more.

Her father stood at the lamp that had just come on. And there were three other men in the room.

Two of them, Rory didn't recognize.

The other.

Logan's father. Huntzberger.

And she watched as Huntzberger forced her mother to kiss him, and she could tell that her mother was struggling to get away.

Another man grabbed her mother's breasts – and Rory had to look away.

And then Mr. Huntzberger got on the bed – kneeling right above her mother's face.

And the other man got on the bed too.

And then a belt came down across her mother's chest.

And…

Rory ran to the TV – and pounded the power button as hard as she could – making the picture go away from the TV – but nothing changed in her mind. She could still see the horrible image of her mother being so horribly violated – so used.

But the part that scared Rory the most, was the terror on her mother's face – the utter terror at the idea that she was helpless – she couldn't move. She couldn't cry for help. She couldn't fight back.

And instead of crying and sobbing and breaking down, Rory just sat there on the couch. And stared ahead. And she now was taken back to the moments that her mother had seemed to be in another world. She had just sat there, on that couch, and had gone into the past – and as Rory imagined was going through her own mind.

And she wasn't sure just how much time passed before she heard the door open. And then shut. And then her mother's voice, "Rory?"

Then steps closer to her. And then a concerned tone, "Rory. What's wrong?"

But Rory couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Couldn't do anything but stare ahead. And hate herself. Hate herself for ever feeling sorry that her mother had left her. For ever thinking that her mother would have made that choice to stay away on her own. Because what hse had just seen, those months would have been so horrible, so unspeakably hard, but Rory had made it so hard for her mother to come home and to be with her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. And that pulled her out of her trance. And she looked up into her mother's blue eyes, concern flooding them. They moved from the remote in Rory's hands to the papers on the couch. And then back to Rory. And then the dots connected. "Oh, kid. You didn't watch…"

Rory just nodded, and she broke down. She just started sobbing. "I'm so sorry, mom. I didn't know it was so bad. I'm so…"

And by that time, her mother had rushed around the couch and pulled her into her arms.

"Shhh… honey." And Rory just cried and cried, her whole body shaking with the horror and fear and sadness that was flooding her face. Just feeling her mother against her, the sense that her mother wasn't still in that video, that her mother was there, keeping her, watching her, alive.

But she held her mother tightly, gripping her arms as if to keep her from going back into the memory of that video. "I am so…"

Her mother's hand ran through Rory's hair, and she just said, "It's not your fault. Rory, shhh…"

But Rory just laid there, her head in her mother's shoulder, her mother's hair on her face, and she just reveled in the fact that her mother was still there – smelling her perfume. Her shampoo. Feeling her clothes against her skin – she was there – and Rory wasn't going to let her mother out of her sight for a long time.


	76. Chapter 76

**THIS WAS A LIGHT ONE - GIVING YOU A BREAK FROM THE ANGST - BUT IT'S COMING SOON. I WANT TO SEE IF ANYONE PUTS TOGETHER HOW THE TITLE OF THE STORY FITS INTO THIS CHAPTER :)**

 **READ AND REVIEW IF YOU LIKE THE FLASHBACK :)**

Luke didn't know what to say to the kid.

Or was he a kid? He looked like a kid. But if he was Rory's boyfriend, he was probably like 20 or 21.

Well, he didn't know what to say to the person that was standing in his apartment.

The first words came from Logan, "I'm really sorry about putting you out like this. I know you didn't expect to have a college student come to stay with you on the spur of the moment."

Luke just shrugged, "It's no problem." Then he added, "And since Lorelai asked, I don't mind at all."

Logan nodded, and walked over to the couch and sat down. And put his head in his hands.

 _Talk about awkward._ Luke thought. _I mean, it's one thing with Lorelai, but trying to talk to a kid? Or college student._ He was confusing himself.

He walked over and stood above the couch, his hands in his pockets, his mind having nothing to say. So he said the first thing that came to his mouth. "Do you have pajamas?"

Logan looked up at him, and Luke knew that he knew it was the weirdest thing to ask a kid coming in with only a briefcase.

"God, I'm sorry, that was the stupidest question. I'm just not good with feelings."

Logan nodded and said, "I get it." Then he stood back up and said, "My dad actually had my apartment seized, saying that everything I had my dad bought so…"

Luke nodded, and then said, "Well, I guess you need a job then, right?"

"Yep. That's the next step." Logan said. "Do you know of any place that's hiring spoiled kids who have no work experience, work references, or any sort of life experience outside of partying."

"I do." Luke said. "If you have no problem working down in the diner. It doesn't pay much, but it's a job, its steady, and I hear the boss is somewhat reasonable."

Luke half expected Logan to turn his nose up at it, after all, coming from the society that Logan had come from – it wouldn't surprise him if Logan turned it down.

But Logan smiled, and said, "When can I start?"

Luke said, "I have to run out and get some things. How about you stay here and get some rest, and when I get back, I'll show you the ropes?"

He watched Logan nod, and turned to walk out of the apartment. But he was stopped when Logan said, "There's something about them that makes a man want to take care of them, make sure they are ok, make sure that they are safe."

Luke turned around, and watched the boy start to break down, and knew he would need some time alone. So as he walked out of the door, Luke told him, "They're the world to me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rory just laid there, holding her tight. She had finally calmed her little girl down, helping her lay down on a pillow on her lap. But Rory wouldn't let go of her arm, holding her like Lorelai was her anchor to life.

Lorelai hated the fact that Rory had watched the video. She felt like a part of her was exposed – laying open and bare before her daughter. She would have never in a million years shown Rory anything that happened in that video – she would have never  
wanted her daughter exposed to the horrors of that night.

But just holding her daughter close to her was calming her own nerves. Because the evidence that had come together today was overwhelming her too. _Are they going to show the video in court, in front of everyone?_ That scared her so much, knowing  
that her parents, Chris' parents, the whole world would see what she had privately experienced. They would see her living nightmare. _What is Chris going to do when he sees that we have the evidence?_ She wasn't afraid if his anger. This was  
going to send him to prison for life. He would never get out again. The video and the contracts – with his signature on every one of them – it would be sealing the deal.

She brushed her fingers through Rory's hair, her mind going back. To a happy time. To a time where they were both happy.

 _It was the middle of the night. Lorelai had the covers wrapped all around her, snuggled in tight because it was the end of the month, and she wasn't sure if she was going to have enough to pay the electric bill. She had made sure that Rory had been tucked in tight, with her long footy pajamas that were decorated as a little pig. And she had two pairs of socks on herself._

 _Lorelai was in a deep sleep when she heard a tiny voice coming from somewhere outside of her dreams._

 _"Mom!"_

 _She opened her eyes and about jumped out of her bed._

 _"Rory!" She exclaimed, "What are you doing?"_

 _The little brown headed blueeyed child had been only inches away from her mother's face, causing Lorelai to almost go into heart failure._

 _Tears came to Rory's little eyes, and Lorelai immediately sat up in bed, and said, "Kid, what's wrong? I'm sorry I scared you. You scared me."_

 _"I'm scared, Mommy." Her seven year old voice sounded so afraid._

 _Lorelai scooted over and patted the bed beside her, and the little body was soon under the covers and snuggled up to her chest._

 _Lorelai laid back down in bed, curling around her little girl to make her feel safe. "Rory, why are you scared?" She ran her hands through Rory's hair._

 _Sniffing, Rory said, "The movie we watched was scary."_

 _"Honey, what part of the movie scared you?" Lorelai asked, pretty sure it would be the part about the evil man putting a curse on the Romanov family, or the giant horse attacking Dmitri, or the demons coming out and attacking the princess – the movie Anastasia was a very dark film._

 _Rory pulled her mother closer, and said, "Remember at the beginning, when the curse comes on the family?"_

 _Lorelai said, "Yes, I remember. Was it the demons that scared you?"_

 _Rory shook her head, and then said, "No. Remember when Anastasia is running after the train, after her family?"_

 _Confused, Lorelai said, "Yes, I remember. Why was that scary?"_

 _Her daughter's voice choked as she whispered, "She was all alone. She didn't have anybody. Her family was gone."_

 _"Oh, Rory!" Lorelai comforted, "But she found her grandma at the end. And she lived happily ever after with Dmitri."_

 _Rory pushed away from Lorelai, so now she was looking right into her mother's eyes, and she said, "But she didn't have her mommy. Her mommy was killed that night. And she never had her mommy again."_

 _Lorelai's heart felt so heavy. "Rory…"_

 _"What if that happened to me? What if the train left without me?" Lorelai listened with great interest as her daughter babbled on. "What if I couldn't get to the station in time and the train left without me and I was left there all alone and then I grew up and you weren't there? I would be so scared all the time. I need my mommy always. And it's so scary to think that you might leave on a train and die and I would never have you."_

 _Pulling Rory close, and leaning her head down so her head rested on Rory's head, she said, "Rory, I would never leave you behind. I would never let the train leave unless you were on it." Using her fake serious voice, she said, "I would tell the conductor that if he left without my princess on it, I would turn that train around after I beat him up."_

 _Rory giggled through her tears. And then, her serious voice, well, as serious of a voice as a 7 year old could have, asked, "You promise that you wouldn't leave me behind?"_

 _Lorelai placed a kiss on the top of Rory's forehead, and said, "I will always be there for you, kid."_

And as Lorelai held her daughter yet again, a terrified little girl, she thought back to that conversation, and her heart again ached for the months that Rory thought her mother had left her behind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Logan was startled up from the little bit of exhausted sleep that he was getting there on the sofa in Luke's apartment with the clamor of bags and doors opening and loud crashing in the kitchen area. He sat up, confused, but then getting his bearings.

In kitchen, he found Luke with bags and boxes of stuff that was spilling out and rolling under things, hitting other things to make more noises, and just an overwhelming thought.

"Luke, can I help you?" Logan asked, running after something that was rolling under the table. He brought it up, and found it to be shaving cream.

"Sorry. I just wanted to get it all up here in one trip." Luke's gruff voice said.

Logan chuckled, and said, "A loud trip."

Luke cracked a grin, and said, "One loud trip, though."

Then Luke gestured to the stuff. And looked at Logan and said, "I didn't know everything that you were probably used to, but I tried to pick up stuff I thought would be stuff you would use."

Logan was speechless.

Luke continued, picking up a bag and said, "I didn't know what size you were, but you looked to be just a little bit like Jess' size, so I went with that. I got some pajamas – since I knew you didn't have any – and some just pain shirts and a few pairs  
of jeans."

Logan got his speech back. "You mean, all of this stuff is for me?" Luke nodded. "You didn't have to do this, Luke. I…"

 _You've never had anyone care enough to buy you things like this – they never showed this much care for you._

Luke said, "I know I didn't have to. But I wanted to help you."

"Thank you." Logan said, "No one's ever done…"

Luke looked uncomfortable in this situation, and he said, "Just make yourself at home. And whenever you're ready to come down and start work, I'll be down there."

And Logan was left again in the apartment. Not alone. Feeling very much surrounded by something he had never known before in this depth. Filled with kindness.


	77. Chapter 77

**LOTS OF ANGST HERE :)**

Lorelai was going into the courthouse today feeling confident. She wasn't feeling excited. She wasn't feeling overjoyed to be there. She wasn't even feeling like if she had the chance to run away that she wouldn't take it – but she knew she had to be there – she knew she had to go in there and do this. And she knew the secret weapon that they had against Christopher. And somehow that made her feel confident.

She had given the contracts and the DVD to Greg – who had entered them into evidence. He had also told her that he would talk to the judge about how the jury would view the video. Because there were a few options that they had to present to the judge. First, that they just show some of the video to the whole court, which was the most undesirable option yet. Second, they could show screenshots, or pictures, from the video to the whole court, but convene just the jury to see the video. Or, finally, the whole courtroom be closed, with only the judge, jury, and each of the defendants.

She had spent yesterday with Greg, coaching her on the things that she would say, or how she would respond to the questions that might be given to her by Chris' lawyer – who was also in for a nasty shock when the video came out.

And last night had been spent with Rory, just being together. Watching movies, eating junk food from Lukes and Doose's, and they both fell asleep on the couch, together, thankful for the chance that their brains gave them to escape the coming turmoil that was the next morning.

When she had been coaching with Greg yesterday, she had asked him what he thought their chances were for the outcome. And he said what would happen, because of how the lawyer was involved and everything was recorded, was that Christopher would be charged probably that very day, the jury would come back with a guilty verdict before the end of the day was up. And then law enforcement would be informed of each of the men on the contracts and the video – and those men would face charges and be arrested and would have to go to court. And because she was giving her testimony today, it would be on court record, so she wouldn't have to come back and testify against each of the men.

Luke was with her as she walked into the court. Greg had also said that because of the evidence, they didn't have to be afraid of Luke coming in with her. And she was glad for that. He would be there, with her, at the table, before she had to go up to the witness stand. And he could be there with her when they showed the video.

Rory was with them too. Rory, having promised that she would be there when her mother gave her testimony, said she would be supporting her from the crowd. And somehow, that also made this next, hard step, feel like it would be bearable.

"I'm just going to run to the restroom, Mom. I'll be right in." Rory said as she gave her a big hug. She held on a bit longer than Lorelai needed, but she just hugged back. Rory whispered in her ear, "I love you, Mom. It's almost over." And then she let go, and started to walk towards the bathroom, then she turned back and said, "You can stare at me and make funny faces from the stand if you want to."

That brought a smile to the mother's heavy heart.

They got into the elevator, thankful she and Luke could have a minute together. And she felt his hand entwine in hers. And she squeezed his hand, and looked up at him and said, "Luke, I don't know how to tell you that I am so glad you can be in there with me."

And he smiled down at her, and said, "No, I get to tell you just how much I'm glad that you get to be here in this world with me right now."

And shivers went up her spine, but she didn't have time to analyze them because she was greeted with the courtroom doors as the elevator doors opened. They walked through the doors, into the wooden room, and it wasn't until they were at the table that she realized he had been holding her hand the whole time. It just felt so natural.

Greg was there, and shook both of their hands, and said, "I think this is the end of this."

But the witness stand was glaring down at her, threatening to expose all of her fears, all of her horrible secrets. Everything. And she started to shake, but then her hand felt a squeeze from Luke. And she looked up at him, and he just leaned down and whispered, "Just get through today."

She nodded, and he pulled out her chair for her and let her sit down before he sat down beside her. And took her shaking hand in his again. And she felt the fears of the witness stand glare down at her again, and she leaned her head against his shoulder, needing to feel him against her – to get strength from him.

The movement from the corner of her eye signaled to her that Chris was walking in again. And she could feel Luke tense up – confirming her thought. She looked up, and saw that he was still clean-shaven, still wearing a nice suit, but his face was black and blue – like he had gotten into a fight.

And Luke leaned down to her and whispered, "Looks like someone got just a fraction of what they had coming."

Lorelai didn't have much chance to think about Christopher's face because the judge came in and they had to rise and stand while the jury filed in.

And then she heard Hugh, the bastard lawyer for Christopher, say, "The defense calls a Miss Lorelai Gilmore to the stand as the first witness."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jason watched as they split up, Rory giving her mother a hug, and joking about something before they separated. And he watched as Rory went into the girls bathroom.

 _Damn girl_. He thought. _Of course she would pick today to be very family oriented and not smoke outside before things started._ So he had to follow them into the building, careful enough to stay far enough away to keep his distance so Lorelai wouldn't recognize him. But when she got into the elevator with that diner guy – who was going to make Chris so angry – but he waited until the doors closed completely before he made his way to the girl's bathroom. Where he looked around, making sure no one was watching, and then slipped into the bathroom, hurrying into one of the stalls so no one would see him – and he noticed only one set of feet in the stalls.

It hadn't been hard to sneak the syringe into the courthouse – he had disguised it as a pen. And they had believed him. Pulling the needle that attached to the end of the syringe from the lining of his shoe and screwing it onto the drug-filled weapon he now held in his gloved hands – no need to leave fingerprints.

He heard the door to the stall a few doors down swing open, and her shoes clicked across the tiled floor as she walked to the sink on the other side of the stall he was in. Double checking that there was no one in any of the stalls, he opened the stall door, and turned to where she could now see him in the mirror.

Her face, full of confusion, stared at him. He wondered what she was more confused about. That there was a man in the women's room, or whether the man in the women's bathroom was one of her mother's ex-boyfriends.

And he was over to her before she could move. He grabbed her right arm, stretched it out, and she started to scream. But before she could, he had the needle in her arm, plunged deep, and shot the drugs right into her bloodstream.

It was almost instantaneous. Her face froze. And she stopped struggling. And she went limp. He caught her before she fell, not wanting to have her crack her head open or anything like that. He carried her over to the farthest stall away, and laid her on the floor. And left the syringe there on the ground, after enclosing it in her fingers to leave her finger prints on it.

And with that, he took of the gloves, shoved them in his pocket, and made his way out of the girls room, and walked right out of the courthouse. Knowing he had just sealed his freedom and use of a gorgeous Lorelai Gilmore once that whore was back to her husband.


	78. Chapter 78

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I swear." And she took her hand off of the Bible, sat down in the uncomfortable chair looking out on the courtroom. From up here, she could see the whole courtroom – she could see the doors that she had walked through to get to the table. She could see the rows and rows of people. She could see her mother. Her father. Chris' parents. Mitchum. She couldn't see Rory.

 _She promised she would be here. She can't be out smoking? No, I thought she was sincere._ And she started to worry. Just because worrying was her new normal.

She found Luke, sitting where she had left him. And she mouthed to him, _Rory?_ And he turned around to scan the audience Lorelai was again double checking. And when he came to the same conclusion, he turned to her and he mouthed, _Go? Or Stay?_

He wanted to know if she wanted him to go look for Rory or stay there because Lorelai needed him.

 _I don't want you to leave. I don't want to be here without having you to see. But I can't concentrate thinking that Rory might not be alright._ She thought. So she mouthed for him to go.

And he got up quietly and walked out the door.

And as the door hit closed, her first question hit her.

"Miss Gilmore, how long have you known Christopher Hayden."

She refused to look at the lawyer. He didn't deserve that. But she would look at her lawyer, who just smiled and nodded, giving her the confidence she needed to answer, "Since I was three or four."

"How long after you gave birth did you run away from home?"

She was ready for this question. "It was about 4 months."

"And why did you feel the need to leave without telling anyone where you were going?"

Again, she knew this answer, "I knew that it was time for me to make my way with my baby. I couldn't depend on my parents to provide for me because I had a responsibility to care for my daughter."

No pause between the questions, he asked her, "Why did you refuse to allow Christopher access to his daughter?"

This was new. "I didn't refuse to let him see his daughter."

"Did you leave word with Mr. Hayden where you were taking his daughter?"

Now she saw where this was going. "No, I did not."

"Did the fact that he didn't know where his daughter was restrict him from seeing her?"

He had her. "It did."

But he moved on from that questioning, and she knew what he had tried to prove – that she had kept Rory away from Chris at one time.

"Miss Gilmore, how long after you married Mr. Hayden did you have an affair with a Mr. Luke Danes?"

She was flabbergasted. "I never had an…"

Greg was on his feet. "Objection, your Honor. Assumption of evidence."

"Sustained. Miss Gilmore, do not answer that question."

The lawyer rephrased the question. "How long have you known Mr. Luke Danes."

"Ten years."

"Were you in a romantic relationship with Mr. Danes?"

"Yes." She was going to only give the answers that she had to. He would have to ask the next question.

"Were you engaged to Mr. Danes?"

"Yes, I was."

"And why did the engagement get called off?"

She was sort of glad that Luke wasn't here right now. She hadn't wanted to talk about this. But leave it up to Chris to bring this up. "We realized that it wasn't the right time for us, and that there might not be a time for us."

And she could verbatim ask the question that was coming next.

"What did you do the night that you broke off the engagement?"

She shuddered visibly, regret tearing at her heart. And she knew how this was going to sound to the jury. But she knew they had the evidence. But still, it wouldn't stop people from equating her actions that night to the actions that Chris had said she asked for.

"I went over to see my childhood friend, Christopher."

"What happened that night?"

She looked at her lawyer, who was motioning her to slow down, that rushing through this would make her seem more guilty than she was.

"We had a few drinks, one thing led to another, and we slept together."

"So the same night that you broke of your engagement with your fiancé, you went and sought Mr. Hayden out, and slept with him?"

"Yes." She answered, not sounding guilty at all.

She looked toward the door, waiting for Luke to come in with Rory. But she couldn't see anything. And the next question was coming at her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Luke was frantic now. He had rushed out the door to the jeep, expecting to see Rory either smoking, drinking, or crying in the jeep. But when he found the jeep locked just as it had been when they had left, the three of them, he started to panic. He had to go back in, go through the security yet again, and then he rushed over to the last place that he had seen her.

In the bathroom.

He knocked on the door. And said, "Hello?" He felt so awkward. But he had to do what he had to do to make sure that Rory was ok. "Hello? Rory? Are you in there?"

He didn't hear anything. So he did what any insane man would do. He ran into the bathroom, shielding his eyes just in case there were other women. But the bathroom was empty.

He looked down the stalls, and was about to leave when he saw her. Laying there, on the ground, in the last stall.

And he threw the door open, got on his knees. She was just laying there, stretched out over the hard tile floor. He went to feel for a pulse, and found one. And then he made sure she was breathing. And she was. Then he started looking for blood, or anything to indicate why she was unconscious on the ground of the bathroom.

And he found it.

A needle.

And he was now past panic and into complete and utter emergency mode. He scooped the little girl up into his arms, grabbed the needle with the other hand, and rushed out of the bathroom. Yelling, "Call me an ambulance. Now!"

Guards at the security check in were immediately around him. "Sir, what happened?"

He handed one of them the syringe, knowing that was making them nervous. "I found her in the bathroom, unconscious, with this next to her."

One of the younger guys at the back of the group said, "Probably a drug overdose. Happens to druggies all the time."

Luke would have twisted the kids head off of his shoulders if he hadn't been carrying such precious cargo. But he asked, "Did someone call an ambulance?"

"Yes."

He made his way out to the parking lot, and was surprised to find an EMT unloading a stretcher. And he again laid the second Gilmore girl on the stretcher and watched as they loaded her up and took her away. He started to climb in after them, but when they asked him if he was her father, he said he wasn't and they said that he was welcome to follow them but only family members were allowed to come in the ambulance.

As they drove away, he knew he was going to follow. But he knew that Lorelai needed to know what had happened.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What was the reason that you refused your husband's offer to find a bigger house?"

"I didn't want to leave my house, my town, my life there in Stars Hollow."

"How much of a factor in the decision to stay in Stars Hollow was made because of Mr. Danes."

She wanted to roll her eyes. She still hadn't looked at the lawyer. Or at Chris. "It wasn't a factor."

"Did you know that your husband felt uncomfortable around Mr. Danes?"

"I knew that being in a new town with people he didn't know would be hard, but once he got to know people, I was sure that Christopher would eventually grow accustomed to living there."

Her eyes trailed to the door at the back of the room, that opened to reveal Luke standing there.

She knew immediately that something was wrong. She could tell by the breathlessness. And his eyes could hide nothing from her – the fear was there. And she was afraid.

And she knew that the lawyer was asking another question. But she was only focused on Luke as he made his way up to her lawyer. And he whispered something to Greg, who looked from Luke to Lorelai with panic in his eyes.

Greg stood up and said, "Excuse me, your Honor, I was wondering whether I could have a minute to speak with my client?"

"You cannot just stop a questioning to speak with your client."

Greg spoke with authority but she could tell that he was already pushing the limits of his question, "There is just a… personal situation that has come up with her family that I feel like she should know about."

Lorelai knew something was wrong. And she was no longer concerned about what she looked like on that stand. But she stood up, and asked Luke, "Where is she? Is she hurt?"

"Miss Gilmore, you will sit down and you will not say anything else unless it is in answer to the questions being asked to you." The judge said sternly.

But she coulnd't wait. "Your Honor, my daughter might be hurt. And I have the right as a mother to know what is going on with her." She argued back. And she could tell from the look on the judge's face that he wasn't used to people arguing with him. And he opened his mouth to argue, but she continued, "My daughter is my whole world. I have to know."

Then she was done. And he just looked at her. And then he said, "We will take a five minute recess. If you are not back here in this witness stand at the end of that five minutes, Miss Gilmore, I will hold you in contempt."

She was already at the table. "Luke, what is it?"

He pulled her close and said, "I found her on the floor of the bathroom, unconscious."

"Did she hit her head? Did she fall? What?" And she looked up into his eyes, she knew something bad was coming after this.

And he hesitated. But then said, "There was a syringe next to…"

"Syringe? Like a needle?"

"Yes."

Lorelai's mind raced. _She's been trying out drugs – but it was mostly, from what I know, just the kind that you smoked, or drank. There was never any sign that she was doing intravenous drugs._ She tried to remember any times that she had seen her daughter high without the smell of pot or alcohol.

But then her mind went back to the hug that her daughter had given her. _Rory promised that she would be here. That she would be in this room when I gave my testimony. This was a promise. And Rory never backed out on her…_

And her mind began to think through the other options. And her gaze fell immediately to Christopher. Who was staring straight at her. His evil seeming to protrude from the black eye that he had. And his mouth was in a sneer. And then she realized that his lawyer was looking at her. With the same, knowing look.

And Mitchum.

He was glaring at her, a smile on his face – and lust in his eyes. And she knew that this accident was no accident.

And she turned to Luke, grabbed his face that had before kissed her so passionately, and made him look at her, and she got close to him, so he was the only person who could hear what she was going to say, and she said, "Luke, this is Chris."

And he looked at her confused, but she made him think when she said, "They're using her against me again."

He finally got it. And he turned to see Christopher smiling at him. And she felt his biceps tighten and she pulled him back to looking at her. "Luke." When he didn't look, she again touched his face, bringing his gaze back to her, "Luke. You have to go be with Rory."

"What about them?"

And she took a deep breath, because she wasn't sure herself. But she said, "I'll deal with them."

He opened his mouth to argue, and nodded his head, "She needs me."

Lorelai leaned forward, and said, "Send Greg a message when you are with her."

"Why?"

She again looked at the men who were watching her with Luke, and she said, "Because once I know she's safe, all hell is going to break loose here."

She stared into his deep, expansive eyes. And she could feel the connection. The commitment. The reality that they both were treading on thin ice here – that this was about to get ugly. But it was about to be done.

And she did something she hadn't planned on. She hadn't thought this through. But as she realized that he was going to go be with Rory – that he was going to protect her daughter from the evil workings of Chris – who was her father – and as Lorelai was about to go up to that stand and risk everything to reveal the real Christopher to the word – all these thoughts clouded her judgment – and she stood up on her tiptoes, and placed a kiss on Luke's lips.

It wasn't long. It wasn't short. She could feel him tense and then relax, and they opened to invite her in, and she let her tongue briefly tap his bottom lip, and then she pulled away.

And he was stunned.

And she was stunned.

But she didn't regret it.

And he just looked at her, and pulled her close to his chest, took a deep breath of her hair, and whispered, "Kick some ass up there, Lorelai."

And then he was gone. Going to look after her little girl. Going to find and take care of something that reeked of Christopher. And she was left here to battle it out with him here in court.

As she made her way up to the stand, she knew that the entire courtroom was looking and watching her. But she could only remember the feeling of his lips on hers, the raw power seemed to course through her – power she had drawn from Luke.


	79. Chapter 79

"Miss Gilmore, why did you leave the hospital that night with your husband?"

She still hadn't heard from Luke, to know that he was with Rory. So she played this cool. "Because Christopher said that he wanted us to work on our marriage."

"Why did he think that your marriage needed work?"

She was just watching Greg. Waiting for his signal that Luke had gotten to the hospital. And he looked up from his phone, and gave her a slight nod. _She is safe. He will protect her. Christopher cant hurt her anymore._ Then her face became strong and she knew that she was about to blow everyone out of the water. She was no longer afraid of what he could do to her. _This is it._

And suddenly her gaze turned to Christopher's glaring eyes. And she held his gaze as she answered each question.

"Because he was paranoid that I still was in love with Luke."

Chris' face went pale. And she knew that he knew he was fucked up.

And his lawyer hesitated when asking the next question, then finally got it out. "Did you think that it was a good move as a mother to leave your daughter in the hospital in such a serious condition?"

She glared at her ex-husband and said, "Christopher threatened to hurt Rory again if I refused to go with him. He wouldn't let me stay…"

The lawyer interrupted her, trying to throw her off her game. "Just answer the question. Nothing more." He went back to his paper at his desk, searching through questions that weren't going to make Chris look guilty.

"Did you love Christopher?"

And she didn't hesitate. "I loved the idea of being loved. In my abused state, I confused being cared for and loving."

 _Yeah, you son of a bitch,_ She was staring at the lawyer. _I would just stop asking questions because it's just going to dig your grave a bit earlier._

And he seemed to agree with her. And said, "No further questions at this time."

And it was over.

This was the part that she would cherish for quite a few more times.

And Greg stood up, and produced the contracts in an evidence bag, each one in an individual bag. And he handed them to her, and said, "Could you please tell me what these mean to you, Miss Gilmore?"

She took them, looked down, and then looked up at Chris, and said, "These are the contracts that my husband used to acquire more business clients."

"Miss Gilmore, what services are contracted here in these?"

Chris' mouth was hanging open. Physically open.

Hugh's face was pale. Like he had just seen a ghost. Or had a vision of the cell that he would be living in for a very long time.

And then she looked to Mitchum – who was only red all over. Anger. And he clenched his fists.

She answered the question, "The services are the unrestricted use of my body in exchange for various financial compensation."

The whole courtroom gasped.

The anvil had dropped.

And Chris banged his handcuffs on the table. Causing the guards standing by to jump and come over to him.

But Greg just kept asking questions.

"Could you please read the specific wording in the contract that speaks of this exchange?"

She pretended to read it, but she had it memorized. "And the unrestricted access to a one Lorelai Hayden for the pleasure of the signee for the price of $1,500 dollars to be deposited no later than 4 hours before access is granted."

One gasp in particular made her turn. _Emily._ Her mother's face was full of tears. _Focus, Lorelai._

"Could you please read the signature that is granting these rights to the signee?"

Lorelai stared Chris down. Her eyes finally getting revenge on him as she watched him realize that he was losing this.

"Christopher Hayden."

Again, the courtroom collectively gasped.

Greg trudged on. "How many of these contracts do you have in your hand?"

She pretended to count them. But came up with, "Forty-five."

"Miss Gilmore, I know this will be difficult for you to answer, but what did these contracts mean to you?"

They had practiced this question. And she answered, "They meant that on whatever date they were signed, at whatever party that I was attending with my husband." She looked at Chris, and then continued, "Whoever had signed those papers, they would come up to me, tell me to come with them, and they would take me to a secluded place."

And now it wasn't so easy. Talking about this wasn't like being angry – you couldn't just talk yourself out of this. This was difficult.

"Again, I know this is hard for you to talk about, but could you tell us what would happen after you were in a secluded place?"

Her eyes went to her hands, the one place she could ground herself. "They would rape me. However they wanted to."

And it was quiet in the courtroom for a few seconds. She was so embarrassed that everyone was hearing this. But at least they were listening now. And she wasn't the crazy, sex-driven wife.

"On average, how many times would this happen at one particular party?"

She cleared her throat, thankful she only had to give numbers. "Two or three." And she added, "Never less than two."

"Did you, at any point in time, give these men consent? Did you ever tell them that they had permission to have sexual intercourse with you?"

She shook her head. And said, "No. I repeatedly asked them to stop."

"Did they ever stop?"

And she shook her head again, "No. Not one."


	80. Chapter 80

**THIS IS IT - THIS IS WHAT SO MANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR - THERE'S STILL MORE - OF COURSE, BUT I REALLY WANT YOU TO REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW HOW THIS WENT ;)**

Greg then entered the CD into evidence, and she watched as Mitchum started to get up to leave, his hands shaking. She watched Chris turn around and glare at Mitchum, knowing that his lack of keeping the information secret was going to result in everyone's downfall.

Lorelai knew that there were policemen outside of the courtroom ready to arrest Mitchum. They had been informed of the evidence, and they were already rounding people up who were involved.

Greg then turned to the jury, "I just wanted to let you know that this CD contains the horribly graphic images. I have requested that the footage of the video be played for the jury when they are alone, because the idea of allowing everyone in this courtroom to see the atrocities that Miss Gilmore suffered is just too overwhelming."

Lorelai was listening as Greg explained that they had stills from the video that would show them enough evidence without having to show the entire courtroom the whole video.

But she was focused on the man in front of her.

Chris' face was red. And he couldn't make eye contact with anyone. He was looking at his hands. He was nervous, and she knew it.

And he was angry. He was so angry if he looked at her he would blow up. He wouldn't be able to control himself.

And Greg turned to her and asked, "Miss Gilmore, how did you come into possession of this evidence?"

Hugh was looking at her, waiting for the answer. _And you thought this case was in the bag._ "My daughter's boyfriend is the son of one of the men in this video." Chris looked up at her, flames in his eyes. "He searched and found the evidence and brought it to me."

"Who is this young boy's father?"

She just stared at the door where he had just walked out into police custody. "Mitchum Huntzberger."

Now the people of the press, sitting in the left-hand corner of the room, looked up from their pad and paper. _Yeah, that great giant in the newspaper industry? He's a rapist._ She thought.

And she watched as a picture came up on the screen. And she looked away, not willing to look and see the horrendous scene that was still embedded into her mind.

"Could you describe what this picture is of?" Greg asked, his voice soft and kind knowing that this was going to be a hard question to answer.

She took a deep breath. And looked at him, "That is a picture of me the night my husband charged multiple men to come in and rape me after they paid him." Her voice was quiet.

"I know this is going to be hard, but could you describe what these particular men were doing to you."

 _It's almost done. It's almost over._ "These men were the first. One of them whipped me with his belt across my skin." She kept looking at Greg, willing her mind to stay in the present and to describe it and be done with it. "Another of them raped my mouth." She wanted to puke. She thought she might. And she must have looked sick, because Greg mouthed, _You ok?_ She swallowed the bile that had crept up her throat, and she nodded. And continued. "I didn't think I was going to be able to breathe. I thought I was going to die." Then she moved on. "And the other man raped me…" it sounded so mechanical and technical but she knew she had to be specific, "raped me vaginally."

"And then did they leave?"

They had practiced this question before. And she knew what he was asking her. And it was going to be so hard to say this out loud in public. But she had to. "They didn't leave after that."

Greg looked at her, signaled her to breathe, and then asked, "What else did they do?"

 _Humiliated. Horrified. Dirtied. Marred. Flawed. Worthless._ Those were the thoughts running through her head as she remembered. And she just barely said, "They anal raped me."

Nothing. No gasp of horror. No whispering. No horrified screaming. Nothing.

And Greg didn't say anything, letting the atrocities sink into the minds of the jury.

Then he took a deep breath, and asked, "When these men left, what happened?"

 _Almost done. Last horrible question._ "More came after them."

Rapidly, to keep the momentum of the question, Greg asked, "How many came that night?"

And she looked up at him, making eye contact with him, and held his gaze as she answered the last humiliating question. "There were 18 total."

Suddenly from the audience, someone stood up and started shouting. "Christopher, you bastard."

She looked up astonished. _Dad?_

Richard was yelling at Chris. "You did this to my little girl."

The judge was banging his gavel, yelling, "Order! Order in the court!"

But her father wasn't finished, "If I ever get my hands on you, so help me I will…"

"I will have you removed from this court and you will spend the night in jail, sir." This speech from the judge silenced her father, who sat down, but was still visibly angry.

The judge turned to Greg, and said, "I beg of you to move on as fast as possible. This is painful for everyone. Let's get this moving and then we can move on to a verdict."

 _It's painful for them?_ She thought.

"I only have three more questions for Miss Gilmore, your Honor."

And she knew exactly what he was going to ask her.

He zoomed in on one of the faces. The one at the foot of the bed when she was tied up to the bed.

"Can you state for the record who this man is in the picture?"

She stared at him. "Christopher Hayden."

Another zoom. To the man by her head. "And this man?"

"Mitchum Huntzberger."

And then, he zoomed in on the man by her legs. And he asked, "And this man?"

And she heard gasps from the crowd. Because they recognized the man. And she said, "Hugh Godfrey."

And that was it. She was done. She had incriminated all of the men here in this room that had anything to do with what had happened to her. She had given her testimony. She had revealed to the world what a monster Christopher was – what a twisted and horrible man that he was. And how he was a menace to the world. How he had manipulated her. And that he had the audacity to hire his lawyer from the pool of men that had raped her. This was it. She was done. There was nothing more she could do than wait.

And when Greg said, "No further questions." She got down off of the stand, shaking still a bit from the adrenaline rush, and she found her seat.

Greg stood up in his hair beside her, and said, "The prosecution rests it's case."

After that, it was a blur. Chris' lawyer was arrested. Taken out of the courtroom in handcuffs. The jury left to come to a verdict. She sat there, waiting. And she pulled out her phone, and called Luke.

"She's ok." He answered, knowing that was what she wanted to know.

"What happened? What was in the syringe?" She asked.

"It was some kind of narcotic that once shot into the bloodstream overwhelms the nervous system, sending them into a comatose state. But when the doctors gave her a certain medicine, she snapped right out of it."

Lorelai felt her heartrate coming down even more. _Rory was ok. She's fine. They can't hurt her._

"So there's no lasting damage from it?"

"The medicine they gave her to bring her out gave her a horrible headache. Other than that, she's going to be fine." And then he added, "We should be on our way home in about an hour."

She was so relieved. This could have turned out to be so much worse than it had been.

Then Luke asked, "How is it there?"

"It's done." She said, "I finished giving my testimony. They arrested his lawyer. And we're just waiting for the jury to come back and give a verdict."

His sweet voice asked, "How are you doing?"

 _He cares so much._ "It's over. I am glad of that."

The jury started to file in, and she told him goodbye and she would call him later.

They all rose as the judge came in, and then everyone but Chris sat down, he was asked to remain standing.

The foreman of the jury stood up.

The judge asked, "Please read your verdict."

"On the multiple accounts of marital rape, we find Mr. Christopher Hayden…"

Guilty.

"On the accusation of kidnapping, we find Mr. Christopher Hayden…"

Guilty.

"On the accusation of sex trafficking, we find Mr. Christopher Hayden…"

Guilty.

"On the accusation of sexual assault, we find Mr. Christopher Hayden…"

Guilty.

Then the judge asked the foreman, "What is the sentencing?"

The foreman read again from his paper. "Mr. Christopher Hayden is sentenced to serve life in prison without possibility of parole."

Lorelai jumped as the gavel went down. _It's over. He's going to prison for the rest of his life. And he will never get out. It's over. You're safe. You're never going to see him again. Rory's safe. You're safe._

The guards went to grab him and take him out. Escort him to his prison cell for the rest of his life. To take him away from her forever.

But he turned to her. His eyes finding hers for the last time. And he started yelling at her. "You think you've won? Look what I did to you. I made you into a meat market. I made you a fucking whore. And you're never going to forget that. So you have fun trying to live life with images of that night in your fucking brain."

The guards were now on him, pulling him to the door. But he fought against them. And he kept screaming at her. "You have fun having sex with that diner guy. He's going to love all the tricks you've learned while you were fucked by prestigious men."

She couldn't look at anyone. She just looked at her hands. Her face was burning. She hated that he was talking like that about her. But to bring Luke into it.

"Oh, and if you think that Logan is a good fit for Rory, remember, sexual urges are inherited. So you have fun thinking about how Mitchum fucked you is probably how Logain fucks Rory."

And he was gone. Through the door. Gone.

And she was just shaking. And crying. Hot tears ran down her face. And she buried her face in her hands, knowing that this was the last thing he would ever say to her. That he was gone. Humiliated. But she was free from him.


	81. Chapter 81

Luke walked Rory into her house, making sure he set her medication on the counter so Lorelai would see it. Making sure Rory got into her bed, he could tell that the drugs they gave her for the headache pain were making her tired, so he tucked her into bed, making sure she had water by her bed, and enough pillows so she wouldn't get a neck ache.

"Luke, go." Rory said, a tired smile on her face. "I am just going to fall asleep here."

He nervously put his hands in his pockets, "Are you sure? You don't want anything to eat? Or coffee? Or.."

Her eyes met his, and she said, "Go be with Mom, Luke. Go get her."

 _She could see right through me. That all I wanted to do was to be with her._

He nodded, and turned to walk out her bedroom door, and she called out to him, "She needs you."

 _I need her, kiddo._ He wanted to say, but he was already halfway out of the door. He got into his truck and pulled out his cell phone. He hit speed dial – still number one.

"Luke, is everything ok?" Her voice echoed over the phone, and he was sure her voice was that of an angel's.

He nodded, realized she couldn't see the nod, and said, "I just got Rory home and in bed. She's sleeping." Then he asked, "Where are you? Are you ok?"

She smiled, and he could tell she smiled because she was standing right outside of his truck window. "I'm at the house."

He was out of his truck in a matter of seconds, "Lorelai, how did you get home? I thought I was going to come pick you up? You didn't walk?" He realized later just how stupid of a question that was. He was just concerned that she hadn't had a safe way to get home without him.

"I took a cab. I didn't want to stay there any longer than I had to."

He looked at her.

She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Her hair hung down across her shoulders, framing her face perfectly with her deep blue eyes as the focal point of her beauty. She was bundled in a black coat, which just seemed to bring out her dark blue eyes. And he watched as she pulled it closer around her, showing that she was cold.

"So everything is finished?" He asked, again nervous about how to act around her. After the kiss at the courthouse, he had no idea where this relationship was standing. Was it just at friends? What happened to her saying that she didn't think she could ever love him like he loved her? After what had happened to her, she didn't think she would ever be able be in a relationship again.

She looked down at the ground, and he could see tears forming. "Lorelai," he reached out and touched her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

And she looked up at him, and said, "I can't believe that he's finally gone."

And she fell into his arms, her head falling against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, making her feel safe, and making him feel needed. She was shaking. From crying. And he ran his hand through her hair, then laid his head on her head, and whispered, "Shh.. it's over."

 _How could a man do something to her? How could Christopher hurt her like he had?_ He couldn't wrap his mind around it. _She was so special. She was so gorgeous. She was so vulnerable. What kind of monster would do anything to intentionally hurt this wonderful woman?_

And they just stood there in the yard. As the darkness fell over them. And he just held her. As she cried. And then he saw something. Something magical. A small white diamond landed on her chocolate hair, and then melted away. And another landed. And melted.

He whispered to her, "Lorelai, look."

She lifted her head. And she said, "Oh my word. It's beautiful." And a few snowflakes landed on her face.

Then she looked up at him, and said, "You are the most amazing man in the world, do you know that Luke?"

He just shook his head, and tried to argue, but she continued, "You stuck with me through this whole thing. You slept at the house. You took Rory to the hospital. You sat with me in that office for two days…" And her eyes met his, like she was searching for something, "Luke, I don't know if I can ever love you like you love me."

She continued, "And I don't…"

"Lorelai." He said, putting his finger to her mouth. "Let me talk." She was looking at him with a smile on her face. "I know you don't think you can ever love me like I love you. But I'm ok with that."

Confusion filled her face. And he continued, "I let you get away once, Lorelai Gilmore. I let you walk away that night, because I couldn't make the choice to go and be with you for the rest of our lives." _If that hadn't happened she never would have gone to Christopher._ "I have kicked myself every day for letting that happen. I am not letting that happen again."

"Luke, I'm not the woman that walked away from you that night." She whispered, looking away from him, ashamed. "I'm not that person anymore. I'm damaged."

He lightly touched her chin, causing her to look back up at him. "I know you're not the same person that I let walk away from me that night." She tried to look away again, but he touched her chin again, and she met his eyes just as he said, "You're stronger."

Tears littered her face. "Luke, you won't want me. I'm so horribly scarred from what happened. Both figuratively and literally."

He covered her lips again with his finger, and said, "Don't tell me what I want and don't want. I want YOU, Lorelai Gilmore. I never wanted you because you had the perfect body. I never wanted you because you didn't have a past. I want you right now and I love you right now because you are you. And I want my Lorelai."

He leaned down, his face only inches away from her face, and he said, "I love you, Lorelai Gilmore."

And she lifted her head, and their lips met.

For the second time in one day.

Her lips were wet with salty tears, and kissed her tears away. Her lips opened, and he let his tongue dart in, then come back out, not wanting to push her. But then her tongue found his, inviting him back. He tasted the mouth that he had missed so much, and he felt her suck on his bottom lip.

And then he let go. Gasping for breath. Not sure if it was because he went without air or because this woman standing in front of him had taken his breath away.


	82. Chapter 82

**JUST A FEW AUTHOR'S NOTES!**

 **1\. Thanks to everyone reading this - I'm glad it's keeping you intrigued.**

 **2\. Thanks even more to the people reviewing it - that means the world to me.**

 **3\. A question in the reviews: Where is Gigi - for my story, I didn't have her at all - just because adding that into the mix might have been too complicated.**

 **4\. For everyone who wanted some Sookie, I wanted to let you know that I still love her - and put her into what I thought was the perfect scene for her :)**

 **5\. Please review - the next scene is going to be hard to write - please let me know what you think**

"What do you mean you kissed?" Sookie exclaimed, causing some of the kitchen staff to jump and stare.

Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Thanks for trying to keep it down."

Sookie shooed all of the staff out, sending them to wait for her and Lorelai to finish their talk before coming back in.

"Ok, girl, spill!"

Lorelai went back her mind to the night before. Her heart skipped a beat at the feelings that rose to the surface as she remembered his wonderful words. "He told me that he made a mistake letting me go. And I told him that he wouldn't want me. Not now."

Sookie's face fell, and she said, "Oh, honey, you know…"

Lorelai didn't want sympathy. So she continued, "Then he said that he wanted me because I was me. Because I was his Lorelai."

"Oh, my. That's an amazing line!"

Lorelai was feeling giddy. "Isn't it?" And then she stopped, thinking about how his voice had said, "I love you, Lorelai Gilmore."

"And then he leaned down and we kissed."

Sookie stopped her. "Wait, do you mean he kissed you? Or you kissed him? Because there's a difference. If he kissed you then that means that he wanted to show you how much he wanted you. Or if you kissed him, then that means that you really miss him, deep down…"

"Sookie, take a breath." Lorelai smiled. "We kissed. He kissed me. And I kissed him."

"What was it like?"

Lorelai had tried to think through what it was like. She had only one way of describing it. "I was like a starving person who saw a sandwich." She could still feel him on her lips, how she had begged for more of him. And she had felt urges in her body that she thought she would never feel again.

"Oh boy." From Sookie pulled her out of her daydream.

Looking confused, Lorelai said, "What? Oh boy what?"

Sookie had her romantic smile on. "You're smiling."

"Well, I don't normally tell someone that a man kissed me while looking like my dog died." Lorelai argued.

"But." Sookie said, her smile never wavering, "You're smiling like you used to. When you and Luke first got together. When he kissed you for the first time. It's the same smile."

"It's just too soon, Sookie, isn't it?" She asked, more asking herself rather than asking Sookie. "I just finished testifying against my ex-husband who will now serve life in prison for what he did to me. I barely escaped with my life. And that same night I'm kissing Luke? How is that ok?"

Sookie just waited, watching her.

After a few minutes of neither one of them saying anything, Lorelai asked, "What? What do you think? Why are you staring at me?"

"Well, I just was trying to figure out how to tell you this."

"Shit, Sookie, is it more bad news?" Lorelai asked, afraid.

Sookie sped forward, "Oh, no, Lorelai, I just didn't want to say the wrong thing. But think about it. Yes, you just got out of this horrible situation that absolutely no one else can understand. No one understands how you survived. But you did."

Lorelai was listening, trying to connect it to the kiss with Luke.

"But Christopher wasn't a husband to you. He didn't care for you, he didn't cherish you, he didn't love you." Sookie said, "So you've been in something that wasn't a relationship. What you had with Christopher was just him using you for your body. There was no emotional connection outside of you being afraid of him, right?"

This was the most extensive that Sookie and she had talked about what had happened. Lorelai just nodded.

Sookie continued, "So when Luke is there for you from the minute you were rescued, he showed you that he cared for you, without expecting anything in return, you started to trust him. He slept in your house for how long until he was sure you were ok? He sat here in this office for two days, refusing to eat or leave until you were ok. He cares for you."

 _He really does. And I care..._

"So you haven't been in an emotional relationship for a long time. In fact, since you were with Luke before Christopher." Sookie reasoned. "So, no, I don't think it's too soon. He really loves you."

"But I don't think he will want me…" She whispered, knowing what she looked like underneath her layered clothes. The fact that she still couldn't wear short skirts still hurt her because of the marks on her thighs. And the long sleeves to cover her scar on her arm.

Sookie touched her shoulder, and Lorelai listened as she said, "Give him the chance to show you that he does."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rory walked into the Inn, glad for the break from the empty house after spending the entire day there. Her headache had subsided, and she had rested most of the morning. She had turned off her cell phone, unable to think about talking with Logan yet.

She missed him. And knowing he was so close to her in Stars Hollow made her miss him even more. But she didn't know how to think that his father had done what he had to her mother. She didn't know how she would react to seeing Logan again after she had thrown such a fit leaving the house with her mother who had just been trying to protect her. And she didn't want to blame Logan for what his father had done, but she didn't know if she saw him, if her feelings and emotions would take over and she would hurt him with the hurt that was inside of her.

So she had avoided him. She hadn't asked Luke how Logan was doing. She hadn't going to Luke's for breakfast. She had stayed home and tried to sleep away her problems. She had smoke a few cigarettes, none of them pot.

But her mother had called the house from the Inn, suggesting that Rory come meet her at the Inn, and they could go out and get some pizza or something away from the house – at this hour, probably something take out and fast. But together nonetheless.

She shut the door to the Inn quietly, knowing that there were probably people sleeping at the late hour of 10pm. Her mother had needed to catch up on some paperwork from being away for so long. Looking at the reservation desk, she smiled as her eyes met her mother's.

"I am just putting the rest of these numbers into the reservation book, and then I have a surprise for you!" Her mother said, looking up only for a second before returning to frantically typing into the computer.

"Just as long as the surprise isn't that you invited Michel to come to dinner with us, then I'm excited." She said, and then walked into the library and picked a book up off of the shelf, and sat down, opening to the page she had been on the last time she was there waiting for her mother.

She wasn't waiting long before her mother was standing above her, shaking her shoulder. "Come on let's go, let's go, let's go."

Rory put on her put out face, but she was having fun. "Really, Mom? Do you know how immature you're acting?"

Her mother just said, "Not acting." And then she held up a basket. A big basket. "Sookie packed us an amazing dinner, with more food than even we could eat."

"Really?" Rory asked, "I didn't know there was that much food in the world, much less contained in one basket."

"I said the same thing to Sookie when she handed it to me!" Her mother said, gesturing to the door, "I thought we could go somewhere special."

"The insane asylum? You're finally committing yourself?" She joked.

"Very funny," Her mother said as they walked out to the jeep, the fresh snow crunching under their shoes. "I thought we could go to the Independence Inn, to the old house?"

Rory smiled, and said, "That would be really fun. Except that it's freezing cold and there's no heat in the old house?"

"Always the worrier, my daughter is." And her mother gestured to the back of the jeep, where two lanterns and a battery powered heater were sitting. "Your old mother has that covered."

Rory was excited. She had missed the old house, so many memories growing up there. And she loved the idea of getting away and just spending time with her mother alone.

"Do you have any gum in here?" She asked her mother, knowing that her breath probably smelt like cigarette smoke. _No need to make her mad at me on this wonderful evening._

"Smoking again?" Her mother asked, without judgment, but asked just the same.

Rory nodded. "I'm going to stop, Mom, I really am going to try hard. Just the last few…"

"There's gum in the glovebox, kid." Rory looked up, sure her mother was going to be angry with her and was just putting her excuse to rest, but she looked up to a smiling face that seemed to say, _It takes time, hon._

She reached her hand into the glovebox and pulled it right back out again, while she screamed. "MOM! What is that doing in there!" She said, grabbing the cold, hard gun and setting it on her lap. "Why do you have this? Where did you get? How long…" So many questions.

Her mother grimaced, and then said, "It's not mine. It's Luke's."

Horrified as she stared at it, she realized that having a gun right now at this time in her mother's life with everything that had happened, she didn't blame her. It was just that even when she was little and they were all alone in the house, just the two of them, they never had a gun. Stars Hollow was too quiet, everyone knew what was going on, there was no need.

"I'm sorry. I understand why you have one. It just scared me right away." Rory apologized. "I just am not used to reaching into the glovebox for gum and coming up with a gun."

"I told him I didn't need it. I told him that everything was fine. But…" She hesitated, "He said it was either the gun or he was going to follow me everywhere with his guns"

Rory cringed, but also smiled, "I like that you two are… flirting, or whatever … but, seriously, your daughter is not ok with hearing every little detail."

The smile that came to her mother's face made her smile even more. _She looks like she might be considering the possibility that she could be happy again._

They pulled into the Independence Inn, the darkness outside seeming very thick outside of the lights of the jeep.

"We can keep the lights on for 6 hours before the battery dies." Her mother said as she got out, leaving the lights on. "That way we can see."

Rory was a little afraid, only because the Inn was now abandoned, and she wondered what animals could be living out here. And it was winter. So a warm human being would look like a pretty nice feast.

"Mom, are you sure it's safe? With all the hungry animals?"

Her mother was pulling stuff out of the backseat. "Rory, can you get one of the lanterns and the heater?"

Wrestling the two things out of the backseat, she was struggling with how to turn on the battery powered lantern. Once she finally got the light to work, she looked over at her mother, who was waiting for her on the path up to the little house.

"But seriously, mom, is it safe to be out here all alone? I mean, Sookie does make some of the best food around. I'm sure some of the animals out here have heard of her too."

She couldn't see her mother's face, but she knew that she must be smiling as she pulled the gun out of her pocket.

"Mom! Stop swinging that thing around! It's dangerous."

A beautiful laugh came from her mother. "So first you're scared of the animals out here, and then I show you what I've brought to protect us from them, and you tell me I'm dangerous."

They reached the doorway of the house, and her mother walked in first.

Rory argued back, "I think between crazy you with a gun and hungry animal, it would be a toss-up which way would be less painful to die."

The room was beautiful with the light from the lanterns touching all four walls of the room. Of course it was crowded with storage stuff, old boxes. Some of the windows were broken. Glass littered the ground. But the light seemed to reflect off of the broken glass, making the broken things seem beautiful.

Rory set the heater on the ground and started it, wanting to warm up a little, knowing that the food would help that too.

Her mother set the basket on top of a big box, and then set two little boxes next to it, like a little makeshift table. And then she started unpacking all the food.

"Just so you know, when Luke and I were dating, he took me to a gun safety class. He taught me how to shoot."

 _Of course he did. He wanted her to be able to protect herself when she was with him._ Rory thought. _Unlike someone else who wanted her to feel helpless._ But she tried to push all thoughts of her father out of her mind, not wanting to ruin the night with a negative attitude.

Her mind was in serious territory, so she knew her mouth needed to be in silly territory, "I'm still not sure that I trust you with that. So you know how to shoot, but do you know how to not shoot your beautiful daughter?"

She made her way over to the small table, and she was about to sit down when she heard the door open behind her. _Must not have shut the door all the way. That damn wind._ She thought. Since she was the closest to the door, she turned around to close it. But she stopped dead in her tracks.

There was a man standing there. In the doorway of the little house. He was standing there, the light reflecting off of his evil face. And off of the gun that was pointed directly at her head.

She heard her mother's voice behind her, a terrified whisper. "Jason."


	83. Chapter 83

**I KNOW THIS ONE IS REALLY SHORT - BUT I JUST COULDN'T HELP LEAVING EVERYONE AT A CLIFFHANGER ONCE MORE**

"Didn't think you'd get rid of me that easy, did you, Lorelai?"

Lorelai felt like the deer in the headlight. _He is here._ She was sure that he had been locked up, put away, arrested. _He has a gun._ He had it pointed right at Rory's head. _No one knows where we are. There's no one coming to help us._ She had just told Sookie that she was going to take Rory somewhere special. And she had told Luke that they were going out to dinner.

Jason looked so different than when she had last seen him bleeding all over her floor. His beard was unkempt, his clothes were all wrinkled, dirty, ripped. His hands were covered in dirt. They wrapped around the gun he was holding.

And she finally met his yes, the lantern light seeming to create a demon look about his face.

"What, surprised to see me, bitch?" He moved closer, Rory flinching and stepping back. And then he yelled, "Don't move."

It was terrifying enough to see him here, but to have Rory here – and a gun pointed at Rory's head – she was paralyzed.

He walked past Rory, and now he trained the gun on her, which although scary, it was better.

And it gave her the ability to utter words, "What are you doing here?"

Jason smirked, getting up close to her. "You thought you would be safe after that little stunt you pulled in court?"

And then he reached over and, using the hand not holding the gun, he shoved her towards the wall behind her. Her back hit the wall, but she was just glad he was focused on her. She wanted to tell Rory to run. She looked over his shoulder to see Rory's wide eyes, shaking hands. _Run, Rory, Run. Go get help._ But Rory was just watching Jason's back. Scared. And unable to move.

But Jason pulled her back to him when he set the gun against her chest. And he started explaining. "You thought exposing all of us would immediately guarantee your safety? Well, I knew that something was up. You looked much too confident going into that courthouse that morning." _He had been watching me._ That made her shiver. "So after I took Rory out of the equation…" It dawned on Lorelai. _It was Jason? Jason gave her the drugs?_

Her eyes flew to Rory's who, after hearing her name, seemed to come out of her initial terror. Rory's eyes met hers. _Go get help._ She tried to tell her, but she didn't want Jason to tip off to the fact that he left Rory behind him with access to an escape.

Something must have transferred because Rory started walking toward the door. Slowly, but quietly.

Jason continued his tirade, "After I took Rory out of the equation, I left the courthouse and I went into hiding, waiting to watch the news to see what had happened in that courtroom. I hid out in the one place I didn't think anyone would find me. Stars Hollow."

He had been here the entire time, in her town.

And Rory was moving even more to the door. And Lorelai knew she had to distract him, keep him occupied.

So she said, "You know the police are going to find you eventually. You and I both know you're not the fugitive type. You can't survive on your own. You don't even like to have someone else sleep in the same room with you. How are you going to sleep outside, find food for yourself, and keep a lookout from the police?" She was thankful for her babbling techniques. "And, even if you do, you know this life isn't what you want. You were never meant to…"

He took the gun and he slapped her across the face with the cold, hard metal, which would have sent her reeling to the ground, but his hand had wrapped around her arm and pulled her back to her feet, shoving her against the wall again. "You don't think I know that? You don't think I know that they are eventually going to catch up with me and that I'm going to spend the rest of my life in prison? Trust me, bitch, I know."

She had been slapped across the face so many times. More than she could remember. Whether it was in the passionate act of sex or whether it was out of anger or just frustration. But she had never felt her face burn and ache and hurt so much as it did at that moment. She could feel the welt rising up on her cheekbone as she tried to focus on where Rory was at the moment. She was almost to the door.

And Jason finished his thought. "I know I'm going to prison. But if I'm going anyway, why not make sure you're taken care of before I do."

Rory had reached the door.

She could barely move her mouth, but she mumbled, "What do you mean, taken care of?"

His smile told her it was horrible. And it was. "Life in prison for sex trafficking plus life in prison for murder. Not much of a difference."

Her heart stopped. _He isn't here just to hurt you. He is here to kill you._


	84. Chapter 84

**PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION - VERY DESCRIPTIVE OF VERY ROUGH THINGS. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW. LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AT THE END OF THIS.**

He had never felt more powerful.

She knew what was going to happen. He watched her face fall. She had held somewhat of a brave exterior, trying to keep up appearances that she would be ok – if she just got through what he was going to do to her, she would be ok.

But he wasn't here just to hurt her.

Of course he was going to hurt her. He was going to fuck her like she had never been fucked before. He was going to watch her writhe in pain as he took his time on her body. He was going to riddle her body with scrapes, cuts, bruises. He was going to cut into her – after he used each part of her body, he was going to slice and tear and mutilate her body. He was going to make her cry and beg and wish for death.

And then he was going to give it to her – death.

Her eyes were focused behind him. _Shit._ In his power struggle against this woman, he had forgotten the girl behind him. Wrapping his arm around Lorelai's waist, he pulled her in front of him, so she was pushed flush against his body, and he turned around to find Rory almost out of the door.

"Stop." He yelled, causing her to jump. And freeze.

"Run. Rory, Go." Lorelai screamed. And then she screamed in pain as he had wrapped his hand up her body right around her throat.

"If you leave, I'm going to kill your mother." He yelled at the retreating form of the girl.

He could feel Lorelai's throat constricting around his hand as she tried to yell, but it only came out as a gargle. _She knew she was going to die anyway. She just wants her daughter to get away._

Rory stopped.

And Jason started commanding. "Walk back in this house and shut the door."

The girl hesitated, her eyes going from his angry face to her mother's.

"I know this is hard for you, but if you want your mother to be ok, you have to do what I tell you."

He felt Lorelai's head shake, and he held on tighter. Rory didn't move.

Then he started yelling. "Get inside this house and shut the fucking door, cunt."

Lorelai's body visibly shook as she watched Rory walk back into the house and shut the door.

And Jason leaned down and whispered in her ear, "What, are you scared I'm going to hurt your daughter? Do you remember the night I called you that name over and over while fucking your brains out on that desk?"

He knew she was going to pass out if he didn't let go of her throat. So, once the door was shut, he released her completely from his grip, letting her body fall limp to the ground. And he commanded Rory again.

"Go and sit against that wall – the farthest one away from the door." She hesitated.

He was a little strung out – it had been a few days of sleepless terror, knowing he was going to be found out here soon. So he attributed the next action he took to his nerves.

He pulled the gun up and shot two bullets right past Rory's head into the wall she was supposed to be sitting against. The girl jumped, and screamed, and ran to the wall. When she didn't sit, he aimed the gun again, but this time on her mother, and said, "I said to sit on the fucking ground." The girl sat, tears falling. "And I better not hear another peep out of you, unless you want to know you killed your mother."

He knew he wasn't going to have to worry about Rory anymore.

He turned to the woman lying face down on the ground.

"Turn around."

She lifted her hands to push herself up. But it wasn't fast enough. Jason lifted his foot and kicked her in the ribs, which made her curl up in a fetal position, her face to the side. And he could see that she wasn't crying. _Not yet._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lorelai laid there, curled up and struggling to breathe. Her lungs were still fighting for air after he had held her throat closed. And now her body was unable to breathe because of the kick to the stomach. And she just laid there, knowing that there was no pretty way out of this.

The only way was the gun in her coat pocket. The side she was laying on. And she knew she would have to get to it and take the safety off of it before she could use it.

"Get the fuck up." He yelled at her. And she managed to get her body so she was on all fours, her head spinning with lack of oxygen and from the hit to the face with the gun.

Taking a few breaths, she grabbed a box in front of her and then pulled herself up to her feet.

"Turn around and face me." He said. She turned around, her head down towards her feet – not wanting to look at the monster in front of her. He took a step closer to her, and he started to talk to her. She knew he was doing it to scare her. But he was also getting off to it. He was making himself aroused talking about what he was going to do to her.

"I'm going to take off every stitch of clothing that you're wearing. And I'm going to use your bra to tie your hands behind your back. Just like the first time." She wanted to puke in her mouth when he reached his hand out and grabbed the back of her neck and pushed her against his body. He then grabbed her hair and pulled her head up, so her neck was exposed to his mouth, as he kissed, and bit, and licked her neck. Then he whispered, "And then I'm going to lay you down on this floor, covered in glass, and I'm going to fuck you, and let the glass shred your back to pieces."

She was listening. Because she was listening to what her fate would be if she failed. She couldn't believe that he hadn't frisked her before letting her get this close to him again. Her hand again snaked into her pocket, felt the hard butt of the gun against her palm.

"When I'm done fucking you myself, I'm going to fuck you with a knife. A knife just like the one you stabbed me with. And once I'm done fucking you with the knife, I'm going to cut your pussy wide open." Her heart was pounding, because he had never gotten this graphic with her before. It had always been talk about fucking her in this position, or tying her up to fuck her a different way. But this… it was so violent. And… "Cut it open so I can fuck you with bigger things. And then I'll watch as you beg me to let you die."

Her hands were shaking. She wasn't sure if it was from fear of what would happen if she failed. Or from anger at the absurd idea that he would get to do this.

But she clicked the safety off and had the gun trained on him just as he moved the gun to where Rory was sitting a few feet away.

"You thought I didn't know you had that gun in your pocket?" Her heart fell, but she kept the gun trained on him. And she took a step away from him. "You were talking about the gun the whole walk in here."

She mustered everything she had and said, "Put the gun down or I'll shoot." She now had wrapped both hands around the hilt of the gun.

He just laughed at her. And he didn't move the gun. From where it was pointing at Rory.

"You think that's going to work? First of all, we both know you couldn't shoot a man. Sure, you can stab someone, but to shoot someone is completely…"

He knew she was distracted and he fired the gun, causing Rory to curl up into a ball, and Lorelai turned to see the bullet had missed her head by only a few inches.

"Do you want to keep playing this game with me, Lorelai?" He asked, mocking her. "I mean, I can try and get an inch or two off of that last shot, but that could be cutting it a little bit too close, if you know what I mean."

She still had her gun trained on him, but she was deciding. _He could just shoot her and still do everything that he wants to do to me. But what happens when I put this gun down? He is going to do all of those things to me, and then what? I'll die? And then he has Rory here to do with what he wants. And since he has nothing to be afraid of, he will do whatever he wants before they take him away._

She had to think of a way to save Rory. And she knew the way it would be. And she hated that Rory would see this. But she knew what she had to do. She knew what he wanted. She knew he was a man who had nothing to lose. And since she knew what he wanted, after having him use her so many times, she knew him.

So she took a deep breath, kept the gun trained on him, and said, "I will go with you."

And he laughed, and said, "What?"

She didn't back down, though all of her body was screaming out that she had just escaped this. She had just left this life behind. _But to save Rory from this man. It was worth it._ "You're going to be on the run for a while, if you don't get caught here tonight." She reasoned with him. "So I will go with you."

He smirked. "And do what?"

The words came out of her mouth and cut her mouth with their horrible meaning, "I'll be there for when you want to fuck me." She wanted to puke. She was sure that if there was something in her stomach, she would have. Multiple times. But she had to keep going.

"What difference is that than me having you right here, right now?" He asked, looking her up and down.

She took another deep breath, her side hurting her. "If I come with you, you can fuck me whenever you want. You will be free longer since you wont leave a bloodbath here."

She could tell he was warming up to the idea. So she continued, "And you'll be able to have someone to help you cook and clean and do whatever is needed out there in survival mode."

"What's in this for you?" He asked, "What makes you so willing to offer yourself as my whore?"

She knew Rory was going to react to this. But she held her ground, "I will go with you, willingly. I will do whatever you want me to do. And right before they find you, eventually, if they do, you can kill me."

Rory's voice echoed in her mind, "Mom, no. Mom."

Another round shot towards Rory from Jason's gun, but she heard no cry of pain. And wood splintered. She turned for a second and saw Rory cowering again, but nothing else. She turned to Jason and finished, "In exchange for me giving my body to you to use as you want it, you take me away from this house right away. And you leave Rory here. Unharmed."

And it finally registered in Jason's mind. He put together why she wanted what she wanted. And Lorelai knew he was going to take her offer.

And he said, "What makes you think I can't just shoot your daughter, make you come with me, and live that life?"

Lorelai just said, "Because I wouldn't go with you."

"I could make you."

Lorelai shook her head, and moved her gun a bit to remind him that he was at gunpoint. "I would refuse until you just killed me. If you hurt my daughter, you'll never be able to get me to do anything. I will not."

And he nodded, and said, "Rory, I want you to walk out of this house towards the car." He said, his gun still trained on her. "Lorelai, put your gun on the ground."

She knew that was the next step, but she couldn't just let it go without telling him, "If you hurt her after I do…"

"I know, I know, you're out of the deal then."

Every alarm in her head was screaming that if she put that weapon down, she was going to die. _But I'm going to die either way. This way Rory's safe._ And she laid the gun on the ground. And Jason smiled, and turned to Rory, and said, "Walk out now." And Lorelai stood up, not before her hand enclosed around a shard of glass. And she put it in her pocket before Jason could see her.

And she followed him out of the house, and Rory was standing next to the Jeep, still in his line of shot.

He yelled at Rory, "You will wait twenty minutes until you leave this place." He grabbed Lorelai around the waist again, bringing her close to him so Rory could see her. "If I hear any vehicle movement before that time, I'm going to kill your mother right there so you can find her bloody body."

Rory just nodded, and Lorelai wished she could see her daughter's eyes, but the light from the Jeep was blinding her.

And then Jason was pushing her around towards the woods. Pushing her in front of him. She stumbled to the ground, the snow hitting the cuts on her hands, causing them to sting, but then she got to her feet immediately, anxious to be away from the threat that Jason could still hurt Rory.

As they crossed into the woods from the path, she heard Rory call out, "I love you, Mom."

Jason hissed at her, "Don't say anything back."

But her heart was calling out to her daughter, "I love you too, Rory."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rory immediately dialed Luke's. She knew it would take a few minutes for someone to get to the phone, but she had 20 minutes before she had to leave.

"Luke's." It was Logan's voice.

She couldn't' deal with that right now. Her hands were shaking. And her voice probably was too. And she whispered, afraid that Jason would hear her and hurt her mother more. "I need Luke."

Concern laced the next words out of Logan's mouth, "What's wrong, Rory."

She didn't have time to explain it. She needed Luke. "Luke. Now." She said, the only words that she could form.

It was only a matter of seconds before Luke was on the other end. "Rory. What is it?"

His voice made her struggle to keep from crying. He had always been the one that had come to the rescue. He had come when her father was hurting her mother. When Rory had found out that her mother was not safe when she was at the party. When her mother had a bad dream. He had always been to the rescue.

But this time, his voice just reminded her of what her mother was going to miss. She had no hope that Jason would not kill the both of them. And she was ok with that. She didn't want to live without her mother.

"Luke. I'm at the old house." Her voice was shaking so much. "Jason. He's got mom."

"Are you safe, Rory?"

She couldn't' get past the fact that her mother had done this to save her. That she had agreed to go back to the man who had done horrible things to her, knowing he was going to do horrible things to her, and then he was going to kill her – all of this to save Rory.

And that was why she had to do what she had to do. She couldn't just let her mother walk with that man to her death. She had to follow. If only to lead others to him. But if she could, she would kill him.

"He took her into the woods. He's going to kill her."

Luke's voice was still stern, focused. "Rory. Are you hurt?"

Rory just said, "Come as soon as you can. I'm leaving a trail behind me."

And she hung up. And she had to go after her. It had all started this way. That night in the living room, she had called Luke, told him to come quickly, knowing that she just had to keep her father from hurting her mother as long as possible until Luke came. Just like that night, Rory was going to save her mother. But this time, she knew it would be too late. That man wouldn't hesitate to shoot the both of them. But she knew that she couldn't let her mother be taken away by that man, couldn't let someone hurt her mother because she had tried to save her daughter.

And she rushed into the house, grabbed the gun off of the ground. Bracing herself, she ran her hand against the ground, collecting shards of glass into her hand, biting her lip to keep from crying out when they ground themselves into her hand. But she encircled them in a fist, and she ran out of the house, and ran towards the woods, where she had seen them go in.

Just as she went to walk into the woods, her mother stepped into her view.

Rory dropped the gun. And the glass.

Her mother stepped into the light. She was covered in blood. Her face. Her hair. Her neck. Her clothes. Her hands.

Rory stepped away, not because she was afraid of her mother. But because she was watching behind her to see if he was following her.

Her mother walked over to her, and pulled her into a hug.

But Rory was still afraid, shaking. She didn't understand what was happening.

"Where is he? Are you bleeding? What happened? Is he coming?"

Her mother pulled her close again. And she just said, "Rory, you're safe."

"But he said he would…"

And her mother's next words relieved her. And scared her. And shocked her.

"He's dead. I killed him. He's dead."


	85. Chapter 85

**ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR LUKE TO COME AND PROTECT HER AND TO GET HER AND TO TAKE CARE OF HER - HERE IT IS FOR YOU - I HOPE YOU LIKE IT - IT TOOK ME ALL DAY TO WRITE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO KEEP GOING BUT ITS HARD WITHOUT THE REVIEWS**

Luke turned off the truck. He hated going through these motions. He didn't want to think right now. He didn't want to look over at Lorelai, who was sitting next to him. He didn't want to see her hurting so much. He didn't want to see the distant look in her eyes.

He got out of the truck. And walked around to the passenger side door. And he opened it.

And his heart broke yet again as he looked at the horrible mess that the woman he loved was in. _Just get her into the house._ He thought. _She needs you to be strong for her._

She was awake. And she looked at him, and barely choked out, "He's dead." The same two words she had been repeating the whole way home.

He nodded, "Yes, Lorelai, he is. You're safe. He can't hurt you again." Then he asked her, "Can you walk into the house?"

She didn't move. She just stared out the front window. He touched her face, and she looked at him. But she didn't react to his question. He asked her again, "Can you walk, Lorelai?"

Her eyes moved from his face to her hands. And her voice came out terrified. "Luke, is he dead?"

 _The same question._ He knew he needed to get her cleaned up. She didn't need to be reminded what had happened that night everytime she looked at her hands.

 _She isn't going to be able to walk all the way to the house._ So he put one arm under her knees, and wrapped one arm around her thin back and lifted her out of the truck, careful to make sure her head didn't hit the side of the cab as he shut the door behind him.

Her hands wrapped around his neck, and she held on tight. He could feel her heart beating against his – rapidly. Her head found it's place on his shoulder. And as he walked up the stairs, she whispered to him, "Where's Rory?"

He fumbled with the door, careful to make sure she wasn't going to fall. And he said, "Logan took her back to my place. She's safe. She needed someone to be with her, and I knew you needed some time to recover from…"

"Killing Jason." She finished in a more rash and stated manner than he would have put it.

He got in the door, still carrying her, and went upstairs to her room, where he set her on the bed. She was sitting down, and she again looked up at him. And now he could see just how wrecked she was.

 _What did he do to you?_ He asked himself. Her hair was full of leaves, wet from the snow. Hair that was caked with blood clung to her forehead, intermingling with the red that had dripped down her face. The only thing that wasn't red was her blue eyes, that called out for Luke's help. The entire right side of her jaw was black and blue, and he could tell that there was blood in her mouth. He followed her gaze as she looked again at her hands. Both arms were cut and bleeding, he could see glass protruding from most of the cuts. Blood everywhere. In her fingernails, on her arms. _Did he make her take her coat off? Where is her coat?_ He reliazed.

And her eyes flew to his, and back to her hands, and she said, "He's all over me. I can't get him off."

He nodded, and looked towards her bathroom. "Come on, go clean yourself up." He helped her to her feet, making sure she was stable before letting go. But the minute he let go, her knees buckled, and she grabbed out to him to hold her.

"Don't let me go, Luke."

 _But you have to go clean up? I can't go with you?_

But he walked her into the bathroom, thankful that he had redone the room to make room for two.

Then she started crying. He saw that she had looked in the mirror. Her cries weren't out of pain. Or out of sadness. But fear. And soon the crying turned to shrieking. And she started to claw at her face, screaming, "Get him off of me. I can't… he's still here… get it off…"

Scared she was going to claw her eyes out, he grabbed her hands to keep her from hurting herself. And she just screamed at him, tears mingling with blood to create a horrible look on her face. "He was going to kill me. He said he was going to kill me."

"Shhh.." He comforted, but she was still fighting against him. "I want to get him off of me."

He knew she would calm down once he got her clean. But he knew that he couldn't just wash her here at the sink – she wouldn't settle down long enough.

He knew he had to do it. But he didn't want to traumatize her anymore. _But can it get much worse than this?_

Letting go of her for just a few seconds, he turned on the water in the bath, plugged the drain, and made sure it was warm enough but not too hot.

She was again clawing at her face, looking into the mirror. Crying. Screaming. "He said he was going to cut me open. All of me. What did I ever do to deserve this?"

He came up behind her, and, speaking softly, told her exactly what he was going to do. "Lorelai, can you get undressed. Let's get you cleaned up."

She was almost in another world again. And he knew that the faster that she realized she was clean was going to bring her out even faster. She just kept screaming, "I'm just a woman. I just wanted to be loved. I never asked for any of this to happen to me."

He knew that this was probably going to hurt their relationship. But he had to think about what she needed right now - he had to get her out of those clothes to get her into the tub. He gently took both sides of her shirt and started to lift it up over her head. _She's going to fight you on this, Luke. She's not going to let you undress her without a fight._ But she just kept crying and lifted her hands. The shirt slipped off right away.

"What made them think that I was just there for their pleasure? What gives them the right to use me like they did?" She cried.

He went to pull off her pants, and she stepped out of them. He thought leaving her underwear and bra on would be ok, so she didn't feel so exposed. Until he realized that some of the blood had soaked through. And Lorelai noticed too. And she reached behind her and undid her bra, and then stepped out of her underwear. And she could see there was still blood on her. All over her.

But Luke didn't look at her like that. He just tried to lead her towards the bath, but she pulled away from him, looking at her body in the mirror.

"Look what they did to me! My body is ruined. They couldn't just break my spirit. They had to break my body too."

 _She's never going to get out of this mindset until you get her into the water and get her cleaned up._ And he took a deep breath, knowing that she was going to fight him on this. And he reached under her knees and around her back and picked her up off of her feet.

And he was right. She started to fight against him. But it wasn't about what was happening. Or what he was doing. Or that she was naked. It was her still in the past.

Her fists started beating against his chest. And she started screaming louder. "Put me down. Now. Let me go. You can't do this to me. I'm not just your sex slave. Put me down…"

And he carefully laid her down into the bath, and she started screaming even louder, this time in pain. And she started to writhe there in the bathtub, her hands holding the side of the tub, and she just screamed, "It hurts."

Grabbing a washcloth from the counter, he softly tried to calm her down, "Lorelai, can you clean yourself off? Then we can get you out of the water and go to bed."

But she wasn't listening. She was in another world. "I did everything I was told. I let him take me away. I left my little girl…."

He knew this meltdown wasn't going to stop anytime soon. So he did what… _Who are you kidding? I don't think there is anyone else in this world who would be putting their ex-girlfriend into a bath and then would voluntarily wash her off._ He thought. But he looked into her terrified eyes, bruised and bloody face, cut and shredded arms, and he knew. _But no one else cares so much for this person._

And he dipped the washcloth into the warm water, and then he reached over and started to wash her face. She didn't acknowledge him. And now she wasn't even speaking. She wasn't screaming. She was just sitting there, her mind off miles away, tears running out of her eyes. He wiped her face, starting at her forehead, and wiping down, around her eyes, around her cheekbone, then down around her jaw, wincing when she shuddered from the pressure on her wound. He then dipped the washcloth again, slowly going back to her neck, and as the blood faded away, he could see a hand mark bruise up around her throat.

 _Concentrate on getting her clean._

He dipped it again, and started his way down her body. There wasn't much blood that had soaked through, but it had. And he gently wiped over her chest, and then under her breasts. He tried to keep his anger in check as he saw what they had done to her body. Cut marks, burn marks – scars. Don't think about them. Focus on what she needs. He moved to her abdomen, washing away the blood that was there, cringing at the cut marks there.

He moved down to her legs, which had been soaking in the water, and he didn't really wash anything away, just looked at the myriad of scars – meticulous in placement – they were intentional. And he looked down to see her ankles, scars of being tied to that bed. His hands shook at the thought.

And he went up to take care of the hardest part – her glass-filled arms.

And he realized that she was looking at him. Not staring into space. Not looking through him, but looking at him. Her eyes following his every move.

"Lorelai, I just wanted to get you.."

"Thank you." She whispered. Tears still flowing.

He moved back to his washing, alternating between picking glass out of her skin, and washing away the blood. While he was working, her voice, directed at him, asked, "See what I meant? You can't love me knowing I look like this."

"Lorelai." He put the washcloth on the side of the tub, and he looked right into her eyes. And said, "I don't see a broken woman."

"But I am. They marked me forever. I'll never be able to…"

"I see a survivor. Someone who lived through hell. And who came back. Who came back to give me a second chance to love her. Because I never stopped loving this beautiful woman."

She broke up for a minute, sobs racking her body. And then she said, "How can you love this?"

Her hand gestured down her body.

All he could say was what was in his heart. "Because I fell in love with the woman underneath."

He finished, and said, "Do you want to get out? Do you need help?"

She just nodded. Then pointed to the back of the door of the bathroom. A bathrobe. And a towel.

He got them off of the door, walked back to her, and helped her stand up. He handed her the towel, and held her up while she dried herself off. Then he handed her the bathrobe, and held it out so she could put each arm in it, and then he tied it for her. He then reached over and picked her up again, and she snuggled against him.

He walked out into the bedroom, her head against his shoulder, snuggled under his neck.

And her sweet voice filled the room. "Luke, do you remember our first date?"

 _Do I remember? Only everyday._ "Dancing at Liz and TJ's wedding." _That had been with him every day since they had been together._

Her breath hit his neck, and her weak voice asked, "Can you dance with me, Luke?"

His heart broke. And he nodded. And he started waltzing right there, slow and steady, with the only woman he had ever loved in his arms, holding her close, her head against his chest. And he danced around the room. Until her breathing settled down. Until she was quiet. Until he knew she was asleep. And he danced just a bit longer just because he wanted to.


	86. Chapter 86

**A SHORT CHAPTER - BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT - I JUST WANTED TO SHOW SOME OF THE CLOSENESS :)**

Logan laid there, on the floor, just watching Rory sleep in the bed. Each breath she took allowed him to take another breath. He didn't think that he could love Rory any more than he already did. But with each breath that she took, he realized that her still being with him made him love her even more. When he had gotten the call, when he heard her frantic voice on the other end of the line, he had never been so scared in his life. He didn't know what he would have done if something had happened to her.

Even everything that happened with his father, being kicked out of the house, knowing he had all the evidence to send his father to prison for a very long time – it hadn't been as scary as that trip in the truck with Luke. He had never wished to be somewhere as much as he had as they pulled up to the little house.

And when he saw Rory there, standing with her mother, he hadn't jumped out of a moving vehicle so fast before in his life. And he hadn't stopped until she was in his arms.

Just watching her sleep there, he remembered he had barely let her out of his arms to lay there and sleep. But her eyes had been so droopy, and she had been so shaken up, that he knew sleep would help a little bit.

But he wasn't going to sleep. Not while she was asleep. He had to watch to make sure that she was going to be ok. She would be ok. He would make her ok. Because she was the love of his life.

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Lorelai felt her body shudder awake, her entire body moving. She was covered in sweat. And she was cold. So cold. But she couldn't remember where she was. And she called out for the one person she knew would be there.

"Luke." Her voice sounded so hoarse. "Luke."

She felt him kneeling beside her bed, and he touched her hand. "I'm right her, Lorelai."

Still confused, she asked him, "Where are we?"

It was dark, but she was ok with the fact that he was right there. That her hand was enclosed in his.

"You're in your bed. In your house." He reassured her. "You're safe."

Every word she spoke hurt as she opened her mouth. "You're…"

He knew what she was saying, because he finished her sentence, "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, Lorelai."

Shifting her weight to avoid the pain that radiated from her arm, she let out a small moan. Everything hurt. Her arms were burning, the cuts rubbing against the sheets. And her face hurt so badly.

"Lorelai," He turned on the lamp right next to her bed. And he took a few pills from the table, and handed them to her, "Take these. They'll help the pain."

She tried to sit up, but she was just so tired and so weak. Suddenly, his hand was on the back of her neck, helping her hold her head up so she could take the medicine. She put them in her mouth, the motion opening her mouth hurt so much. And she drank them down with the water that he offered her. He then set her head gently back down on the pillow that he had readjusted for her.

 _He's so sweet. He's here. He's caring for me._

She just looked at him, his scruffy face hiding his soft eyes. He looked so tired. But he was kneeling right beside her, and she looked down to find a pillow on the ground. Where he had been sleeping. Right next to her if she needed anything.

"Do you need anything else, Lorelai?" He asked, brushing her hair out of her face, his hand gently touching her skin.

She looked on the other side of the big bed. The bed that she hadn't slept in since she got home. She hated being in a bed. Too many memories. But she was so tired. And her back was so sore already. She didn't want to move. But she was scared to be in the bed by herself.

"Will you come lay with me?"

She could tell that he hesitated. That he didn't want to overwhelm her.

And she just said, "I really don't want to sleep in this bed alone. Please just hold me."

He walked to the other side of the bed, fully clothed, and climbed under the covers.

She didn't know whether it was a coping mechanism. Or whether it was instinct? Or Familiarity. But she turned, so her head was facing his chest. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close, so she felt safe. His strong arms around her. His touch a comfort.

And she fell asleep. But not before she heard herself whisper, "I love you, Luke Danes."


	87. Chapter 87

**FOR MY READERS - THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME SO FAR. THIS CHAPTER TAKES PLACE ABOUT FOUR WEEKS AFTER THE LAST CHAPTER - AND SO YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THAT LUKE AND LORELAI HAVE HAD ABOUT A MONTH OF JUST BEING TOGETHER, TALKING LATE INTO THE NIGHT, GROWING ACCUSTOMED TO EACH OTHER AGAIN. PLEASE REVIEW TO KEEP ME WRITING ;0**

"Mom!"

Lorelai ignored Rory's voice, telling herself that it was in her dream world.

It got closer.

"Mom!"

She pulled the pillow over her head, now knowing that it wasn't the dream daughter she had. It was the real daughter. So she tried to hold on to the sleep that was slowly fading away.

She heard the door to her room crash as it swung open. And she jumped, the annoyed voice of her daughter so close to her she couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Mom. Get the hell out of bed right now!" Rory yelled, ripping the pillow off of her head.

Shielding her eyes from the light that was in the room, she whined, "Rory, please. I just want to sleep a little bit longer."

Rory plopped on the bed, causing Lorelai's body to move as the mattress bounced. "Mom, we have to go. Now." Lorelai didn't move, until the covers started to move, and Lorelai found herself lying with nothing but her nightgown on, as Rory ripped the blankets away.

"I just got to sleep. I cant…"

Rory's voice was loud. "Mom, you promised to have breakfast with me before I headed back to school. Luke said he was going to have a big breakfast ready for us. Come on, let's go."

"Can't we just put a candle on a Poptart and call it a celebration?" Lorelai grumbled, sitting up in the bed, her hair falling all over her face, her feet refusing to stand up.

Rory walked over to the closet, and she started grabbing clothes and throwing them at Lorelai. "Boy, that makes me feel really special, Mom." And then she added, "Don't you have that photoshoot for the Inn this morning too?"

It dawned on her. And she was standing up, and flinging her own clothes around, and said, "Get out, I have to get dressed. I can't believe you didn't remind me about that right away."

Rory walked to the door, and then she threw back at her, and said, "I dare you to wear your rodeo costume today!"

Lorelai threw the article of clothing that was in her hand at Rory, who blocked the attack with the closing of the door. "You'd better have coffee ready when I get down there."

"If I don't drink all of it…" Came the voice on her way down the steps.

Lorelai turned back to the bed, where she had laid out the clothes she had planned to wear this morning. She pulled her nightgown off, and reached for her bra and underwear. And as she snapped her bra into place, she looked into the full-length mirror that hung on the back of her door. And she smiled. Because she didn't shudder at the sight of her body. Ever since that night when Luke had bathed her, she no longer looked at her body with disgust and embarrassment. She remembered his words, "I fell in love with the woman underneath."

She knew there were scars there. She knew that there were imperfections. But just the idea that someone loved her, knowing what was underneath, she felt secure.

As she finished dressing, she smiled at the memory of the night before. And the night before that. In fact, almost every night that month had been perfect. Because they had been spent with Luke. They had gone dancing so many times she wondered whether she had finally removed the spaz from Luke's moves. Or they went out to dinner and talked for hours on end. Or they went to the bar and just got drunk together. And whether he walked her home, or drove her home, they would either sit on the porch steps or in the truck and talk. For even longer. It never went farther than that. _Last night had been long._ She cringed, thinking about how she had finally kissed him goodnight and went into the house at three that morning.

Throwing a few curls into her hair, adding a bit of makeup to her face, she looked herself over once more in the mirror. _Do you think Luke will notice that you dressed for him?_ She thought. And, to her surprise, she knew the answer. And she knew what she wanted. _Of course he's going to love what you look like._ She was wearing her black vest, the one that hugged her body, accentuating her curves. And her dress pants, the ones that a few weeks ago he had said made her butt look very nice. And heels, of course, just to make sure that he knew she was being flirty.

She was shaken out of her imagination of what Luke would look like when he saw her by the calling of her offspring from downstairs, "Mom! I'm going to make Luke take away your coffee if you don't get down here."

She tried to hide how happy she really was as she came down the stairs, and pretended, "Ok, mom, let's go." She said to Rory, knowing that accusing her of being bossy would make her a little annoyed.

Rory put one hand on her hip, and looked at her with judgmental eyes, "Well, if you wouldn't act like a middle school child, I wouldn't have to take charge."

Grabbing her coat and her purse, Lorelai waved the keys in her hand, and said, "Well, this middle schooler might just make her 'mom'" she used finger quotes, "walk to breakfast if she keeps up that attitude."

Rory followed her out the door, mumbling something about having to take too much responsibility at such a young age. Lorelai ignored her, deciding to get her revenge by crazy driving to Luke's. When Rory screeched for her to slow down, Lorelai just kept driving. When the jeep screeched to a stop in front of the diner, she just said, "You said we had to hurry."

They both walked into the diner, and were greeted by a "find a table, I'll be right with you" from the handsome man behind the counter.

Finding a table, Rory looked at her, and said, "So are you going to use your wiles as the girlfriend to get us fast service?"

Lorelai put a fake look of shock on her face, set her purse down, and said, "I would never!" But she then turned to walk up to the table, her sexy walk on.

She leaned over the counter, knowing that her shirt was gaping so he could see down her shirt. And she twisted her hair through her fingers, and looked at him with her wide eyes.

When he looked up, his mouth fell open just a little before clamming up. But he didn't stop looking.

"Can we get some coffee, please?" She asked, a sly smile on her face.

He spaced out for a few seconds, then snapped out of it, finding her eyes, and said, "Are you flirting with me to get me to serve you first?"

She lightly ran her teeth over her bottom lip and innocently asked, "Who, me?"

He turned around, got two cups, and turned back around to find her now playing with the buttons on her vest. He rolled his eyes, but they came back to her right after the roll.

He pushed the cups, filled with coffee, towards her.

But she didn't move. She just sat there, her hands now playing with the necklace that when she let it go, fell down her shirt, drawing his eyes down with it.

"Pancakes or omlette?" He asked, "I know you're not going to stop until you get what you want, so you'd better know what you want."

She was surprised at the thought that came to her mind. _Oh, I know what I want._

And she said, "Two of each." Because her mind was still on the thought she had. He looked at her confused, then turned around to write the order. And immediately, her eyes followed his flannel down to his butt, and she just looked, and thought. _That's what I want._

But she didn't realize that her mouth had followed her thoughts, and she said it out loud. To which Luke turned around, his eyes sparkling. And then he said something flirty himself. "You got a look, now walk back to your table, so I can get mine."

Not only did she walk back slowly, she made sure to cross her feet as she walked, giving her hips more of a sway than normal. And when she got to her seat, she turned around to see that he was mesmerized, still standing there, his eyes on her ass. And the other surprising thing? _I really love that he loves watching me._

She was sitting in her chair, but she was watching him. And he was watching her.

But Rory pulled her out of her flirtation, when she said, "Mom. You left the coffee at the counter."

Lorelai started to stand up, but Rory stood up faster. When Lorelai looked at her daughter, Rory just said, "If I let you go back up there, the coffee is going to be freezing cold by the time you bring it back to the table."


	88. Chapter 88

"You'll call when you get back to Yale, right?" Lorelai asked, handing her daughter the bag of donuts from Luke's.

Rory took the bag, and nodded, "I will call you right away." And then she said, "I'll be back on Friday. In time to hear all about your newest flirtation with our food supplier." And she held up the bag from Luke's.

Pretending to look ashamed, she asked, "How are things with Logan?"

Lorelai watched as a smile similar to the one that she always felt crept to her daughter's face. "He's doing good. The courts granted him the rights to his father's business, so he was able to get his apartment back and he can keep attending Yale." Then Rory looked at her mother, and her smile fell just a little, and she said, "I want to telling you everything, so umm… I wanted to tell you that I'm going to be staying at his apartment during the weeks and coming home for the weekends."

Lorelai just smiled.

And Rory looked confused, "You're not mad? Or surprised? Or …"

She couldn't hold it in any longer. "Logan called me and asked if that would be ok with me." Rory couldn't say anything, so Lorelai said, "I told him that as long as he took all the alcohol out of the apartment and you both promised to stay focused as much as possible, I didn't have a problem with it."

"You really don't mind?"

Lorelai shook her head, "No, you're an adult. I just want you to make the right decision." She paused, wanting her daughter to know she was serious when she said, "I think Logan has grown on me."

The smile returned to Rory's face as she almost tackled her in a hug. "Thanks, Mom. That means so much. He really loves me and I love him."

Lorelai's thoughts returned to her own situation with Luke, "And that's all that matters in this life, kid."

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After Rory and Lorelai left, Luke worked through the breakfast rush with his mind completely on the beautiful woman that had come into the diner and flirted with him. He gave customers the wrong order, and when they confronted him about it, he apologized because he wasn't angry at all. He was just occupied.

The past month had been one of the best in his life. The long talks at the end of the night. Last night, for example, they had spent it talking about how so many times people expect like to be perfect, and they are blown away when bad things happen. But Lorelai, the one who had experienced her fair share of horrible times, had proposed the idea that maybe life is just what you make of it. What if life wasn't about having a perfect existence, but about taking what life handed you, getting through it, and becoming a different and better person because of that.

He remembered one part of their conversation.

 _"So would you say that everything that happened to you made you a better person?" He asked._

 _She just stared out, looking out in the yard from where they were sitting on the porch. Her brow was fixed in thought, and he sat there, drinking in her beauty. And then she said, "I don't think it made me a better person. I think it just makes up my person." She paused to think. And he just paused his thinking to look at her. "I think that the circumstances that happen to you, they're like the ingredients in a recipe. You add everything, stir it up, beat it, put it into the furnace, and then it comes out something completely different than what it was before it went into the furnace. It's not better than what it was before – it's just something else. It changed."_

His heart hurt, right there, in the diner, wiping off the counter, his heart hurt. Because he couldn't hold her in his arms right there. He hated that she was away from him. Not because he wanted to control her. Not because he didn't trust her. Not because he was afraid for her. But because he loved her. And he wanted her to be there with him.

But he did the next best thing. He picked up the phone and called her.

"Hello?" She said into the phone. _She must not have looked at her caller id or she would have made a snide remark. Now it's your turn to make a snide remark._

"Is this the woman with the wonderful pants that make her butt look amazing?"

Her laugh on the other end made his heart speed up. And she sarcastically replied, "No, it isn't. This is the woman with the wonderful ass that looks amazing in and out of pants."

 _God, she knows just how to push my button._

It must have taken him a few seconds to respond, because she laughed, and said, "What can I do for you, man who always has access to pie?"

Catching his breath, he said, "I just wondered if you would grace me with your company tonight, say around 7, for dinner?"

Coyly, she replied, "I'll go to dinner with you if you'll bring that handsome butt of yours."

Blushing just a little, he opened his mouth to agree, but she interrupted him. "You're blushing, aren't you?"

He found his voice, "Why don't you come and see for yourself?" _Maybe she'll come for lunch. I can see her again._

"I'll see you tonight at 7. Love you." Her voice said, and then she was gone.

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"Lorelai Gilmore!"

Lorelai just about jumped out of her skin as she looked up to see Sookie standing in the doorway of her office.

 _She must have heard part of the conversation._

"What?" She pretended to act innocent.

Sookie placed both hands on her hips, and shook her head. "You little sneak."

"Sneak?" Lorelai asked.

Sookie walked up to the desk, and leaned on it, and said, "You made it seem like things were just normal with you and Luke, that you were just friends." Sookie gestured to her phone. "Then I walk in on some very non-friend things being said to him. And, as my best friend, you have the obligation to spill the beans."

Lorelai had wanted to tell Sookie. She just hoped that she wasn't going to jinx the wonderful things that were happening with Luke.

But she took the chance. And dived in. "We've gone on a few dates."

"How many?"

Lorelai grimaced. And said, "Between one and twenty-two."

Sookie's face got all excited, and she asked, "How many?"

She could feel that silly smile climbing to her face as she remembered all the time that they had been spending together. "Twenty-two."

Giddy, the chef actually jumped up and down. And then she said, "Continue."

"Gladly." Lorelai agreed, "We either go to dinner, or go dancing, or go drinking, or just walk around. And then at the end of the night, we sit and talk. We talked until three this morning."

Sookie was hanging on to her every word. Lorelai kept talking, "He always kisses me goodnight at the porch. Nothing else happens. He knows that I needed time and he is…"

"Needed?" Sookie interrupted, "Like you needed time in the past but you think that maybe you don't NEED any more time?"

She knew that it had been there in the back of her mind for a while. But just the fact that she had referred to it in the past tense, the fact that she just wanted him to be with her, that she just wanted him to hold her. But she wanted him to do more than just kiss her goodnight on the porch. _You're ready._ Came the thoughts at the back of her head.

But there was something inside of her that wondered whether she really was ready.

Something that said she would never be ready.

But then she thought about the flirting this morning. About the way her heart skipped a beat when she knew he was watching her walk away. When she knew he was looking at her. When she knew he called just to hear her voice. And she knew that she didn't need any more time.

Taking a deep breath, she just said, "I think maybe I'm ready."

Sookie was dancing a happy dance.

And so was Lorelai's heart.

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She looked herself over in the mirror. And then she turned just a bit. And looked again. Then she turned the other way. And looked yet again.

 _I should change._ She wasn't sure she was going to be comfortable in this. She had worn it. Before. Before everything had happened.

It was the dress she had proposed to Luke in. The brown flowered dress with her pink sweater.

She wasn't hesitating because of the significance of the dress. Because she doubted that Luke would remember.

It was the low-cut neckline that was setting her off to it. She had worn much lower dresses with Chris. But she had been very conservative since coming home. One, because she was self-conscious that people would see her scars and be grossed out by the. But, mostly, because she had been forced to flaunt her chest to men before, and she had wanted to try and keep herself to herself because she had that power back.

But she wanted to wear it.

And she knew that he wouldn't be put off by the few scars that could be seen with the dress on. He had seen all of her scars. He wouldn't care.

And it was her decision to wear this dress. She wanted to. She wasn't being forced to wear this dress.

So she chose to wear the dress.

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Luke looked at his watch. 7:25. He hoped that this was late enough. Because he knew how the Gilmore girls worked. If he came at seven, they wouldn't be ready until 8:30. But if he waited and came late in a fashionable sense, they would be ready right around that time.

He knocked on the door. And he expected to wait a few minutes. Because that's just what happened in the Gilmore house. She would be upstairs, and she would throw on her shoes, put in her earrings, and then come down to open the door, and come out to the truck.

But he was surprised when the door flew open.

And he was even more surprised as he looked at his gorgeous date.

Her dress. It was the dress she had proposed to him in.

And he said the first words that came to his mind, "You look even more beautiful than the day you proposed to me."

He then looked up to find his favorite part of her – the part that he cherished and wanted to see more than anything – her eyes. Her deep blue eyes that made him want to jump in and know exactly what she was thinking – her hair wisped across her face, the brown just making her eyes deeper and more beautiful. _If that's possible._

And then he noticed that her eyes seemed to swim, as if the ocean was leaking out onto her face. Then he realized that she was crying.

"Lorelai, what's wrong?" He asked, moving to her and touching her arm to let her know that he cared.

She just sniffed, smiled, and said, "You remembered. My dress. You remembered."

He used his thumb to reach over and brush a falling tear off of her face. "Of course I remember." She just laughed a little, and he said, "It's hard to forget one of the happiest days of your life."

She stood on her tiptoes, and planted a light, but sweet kiss on his lips. And then she turned to grab her coat. Luke reached out and took her coat from her, and held it so she could put it on. _It's the little things that make her know I love her._

She grabbed her clutch from the table, and then she walked out of the door. There was a little snow on the ground, so he used the excuse, "It might be a little slippery." So he took her hand and tucked it in his elbow, so he could feel her close to him as they walked to the truck. He held the door for her, as always, waiting to make sure her skirt was all the way in before shutting the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I can't believe you picked this restaurant." Lorelai looked around as they were led to their table. And she smiled when she realized that it really was THEIR table. The table that they had their first date at. The first reading of the back of the menu. Their first champagne toast. The first time Luke had shown her the horoscope that he had save for so long.

It was their table.

Luke helped her take off her coat. She knew she could take her own coat off, but he enjoyed helping her. And she enjoyed the little bit of touch as he touched her neck to lift it off of her back.

She sat down, scooting over only a little bit, so he would have to sit close to her. The waiter came and asked for their drinks. And he ordered champagne. _And he doesn't even like champagne._

"I wanted tonight to be special." He said, fiddling with the menu in front of him.

She was curious, "Why?"

And he turned so he was looking right at her. And even just his look made her heart skip a beat. His voice was low. She didn't know what had gotten into her, but it just sounded so deep and manly. She wanted to blame it on the champagne, but it hadn't come to the table yet. But she reached her hand out, and ran her finger across the top of Luke's hand where it was lying on the table. Just lightly, just faintly, but she did it anyway.

His eyes widened, but he didn't look away from her. "I realized when you left the diner this morning, that I didn't want you to be gone. I didn't want you to leave me. Ever. I didn't want you to be away from me. Because it hurt watching you leave."

 _You have no idea, Luke._ She thought. And she said, "Luke, you were on my mind all day long. I thought about you…" She didn't want to tell him the thoughts that she had been having about him. Because she didn't want to think about them and maybe spoil what might happen at the end of the night.

The champagne came. And he poured her glass and handed it to her, causing her to lift her fingers up from where they had been playing with his hand. But he held his glass in his other hand. And she knew that because she felt the hand closest to her reach under the table and gently graze her thigh.

She took a breath, his touch evoking a pleasure she didn't know how to describe. Just the gentle touch made her giddy. Then her mind went there. _Just imagine what his touch in other places might make you feel like._ And she had to take another breath to make up for the way her heart was pounding.

He held up his glass and said, "To never wanting to be apart."

She held her glass up, and repeated, "Never wanting to be apart." And she took a sip of the drink. And he took a drink of the champagne.

She gasped as his hand that had been previously resting on her thigh lightly squeezed her, leaving just enough pressure for her to wonder whether it was because he didn't like champagne so his body reacted against it, or because… well, because he wanted to squeeze her thigh.

She wondered if part of the intrigue was the fact that she didn't know. And the mystery just turned up the heat even more.

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Luke was waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. She had excused herself right before they were about to leave, while he paid the bill. They had stayed out late again, the restaurant being open until midnight was not a good thing for the two talkers. But he made sure to tip very well, just to show them appreciation for letting them stay right up until closing time.

He was glad that she went to the bathroom, because he needed to take the time and think about what had happened that night at dinner.

She had started it, with the sexy fingers on his hand. He hoped she hadn't seen the goosebumps that had traveled up his arm and down his spine at the touch of her soft fingers on his skin.

He had watched her carefully when he had reached over and laid his hand on her leg. He had watched to see whether she cringed, flinched, or showed any disgust or uncomfortable feeling at his touch. But he hadn't seen anything like that. And maybe he was reading into her facial expression, but he thought maybe her eyes had sparkled just a bit more at his touch. _But, really, Luke, you think that just you touching her leg made her eyes sparkle?_

But then she had progressed in the dinner. She either mistook his leg for the table leg, but she had wrapped her foot around his leg, letting her shoeless foot travel a little bit up his pant leg and then come back down, and up again, and back down.

And she had touched his hand with hers many times throughout the course of the meal. And when he said something funny, she had touched his arm, or she laid her head against his shoulder, like he was so funny that she couldn't hold her head up. _And you're not that funny, Luke, so she was obviously flirting with you._

Even when she had left to go to the bathroom, she had turned around halfway to the bathroom, and shouted across the empty dining room. "Now you're watching me walk away. Enjoy the show, buddy." And then she walked away. Had he been watching her walk away? Of course. _I watch every move she makes whenever I'm with her._ But when she had given him permission to enjoy, he had watched her skirt, that with each step, it moved to one side, curving around her ass, giving him just enough of an outline to imagine what was under there, and then it shifted back, so he could see the outline of the other side.

So there he stood, his hands in his pockets, waiting for his beautiful date, wondering what on earth was going to happen. Because he knew that he could not – would not – push her. He would not pressure her into anything. Because he knew that it had to be her decision. That it had to be something that she wanted. Without hesitation.

The ball was in her court.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lorelai was talking to him as he walked around to open her door. "I'm telling you, there's something to be said about where all the anvils went."

He looked at her and said, "Are you being serious? You've talked about nothing else since we got into the car."

She took his hand he offered to help stabilize her as she got out of the car. _It's like he's an old fashioned cowboy, helping you out of the covered wagon._ Her mind went there. But she continued, "You've offered no solutions to the problem."

They were walking in, and he said, "I think the government had them hidden to be dropped on terrorist heads."

She laughed so hard, leaning against him to hold her up as she laughed, "You're spending so much time with me that you're starting to sound like me."

They walked up the porch steps. She turned to face him, and he held her hands in his. "I guess you'd better get used to have someone sound like you because I don't think I want to stop spending time with you any time soon." His voice was low again, and Lorelai looked up to see him smiling down on her.

She took on of her hands out of his and placed it on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her back. Her other had was freed when his other hand reached up and wrapped itself in her hair. And her other hand found his face, and soon their lips met. She felt shivers run down her body as Luke's tongue traced the outline of her lips, while she sought to find his lip to suck on. She lightly opened her mouth, begging for his tongue to find hers. And more electricity shot through her body as he beckoned her tongue into his mouth, and then sucked her tongue. She turned her head, allowing her tongue to reach into his mouth, searching for fulfilment from a kiss that was only possible with other things. Luke teasingly pulled his mouth back, leaving her searching for him. She took a breath, and he took a breath, leaving her even more dizzy for more of him.

And then her eyes opened, looking up into his sky blue eyes. She could feel his mouth smile as she let her tongue leave her marking on his lips before she pulled away.

"Wow." He said, breathless. "We sure do that well."

This is where it ended. This is where every other time things had stopped. He would say goodbye. She would say goodbye. And she would watch him walk away. He would wave as he drove away. And she would go into the house, shut the door, and lean against the door knowing she wanted more.

He went to release her from their tender embrace. But she wrapped her arms around his neck. And laid her head on his shoulder, leaving her mouth right next to his jaw. And she lightly kissed him, the stubble from his beard tickling her lips. And then she whispered seductively into his ear. "I'm ready."


	89. Chapter 89

**AUTHOR'S NOTE CHAPTER. I HAVE GIVEN Y'ALL SOME PRETTY PLOT PACKED CHAPTERS HERE LATELY - IM WORKING ON THE HARDEST CHAPTER FOR ME TO WRITE EVER. PLEASE LEAVE SOME REVIEWS.**

 **SOME QUESTIONS TO ANSWER: GIGI ISN'T IN THIS STORY - IN MY MIND THE FIRST WOMAN THAT CHRIS ASSAULTED WAS SHERRY - BUT THAT WASN'T IMPORTANT IN THE PLOT LINE.**

 **ALSO - RORY - IM GETTING TO HER - THE STORY IS ALMOST OVER - SO ITS GETTING DOWN TO THE LAST MINUTE - BUT IF THERE'S A CRY FOR MORE AFTER THIS, I REALLY WILL WRITE A SEQUEL AFTER A WHILE. BUT THERE'S GOING TO HAVE TO BE A BIG OUTCRY FOR MORE! :)**

 **PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME - AND I NEED THIS FOR THIS CHAPTER**


	90. 90

A FEW AUTHOR'S NOTES – ONE – LEAVE REVIEWS PLEASE! THE STORY IS COMING TO AN END AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE MORE OF YOU OUT THERE WHO HAVEN'T REVIEWED – AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW YOU THINK ITS GOING.

ALSO – SHOUTOUT TO THE REAL MAGIC BEHIND THIS SCENE – THE GIRL WHO COULD TAKE MY SAD EXCUSE FOR SMUT AND TURN IT INTO THIS MINDBLOWING, EMOTION-FILLED, ENGAGING SCENE! BiteMarksonHertongue IS AN AMAZING WRITER – THANKS SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS! SHE HAS JUST WRITTEN A WONDERFUL STORY THAT OPENS THE IDEA THAT CHRIS AND LORELAI WERE NOT GOOD TOGETHER AT ALL IN THEIR MARRIAGE – PLESEASE PLEASE GO OVER AND READ HER STORY – LEAVE HER REVIEWS ON IT – IVE READ IT MAYBE 4 TIMES! IT'S GOOD – LEAVE HER REVIEWS HERE ON HOW THIS CHAPTER SOUNDS, AND LEAVE HER REVIEWS ON HER STORY ABOUT HOW AMAZING HER WRITING IS!

She walked up a few steps before she heard the front door close and steps on the hardwood floor. Quickly undoing her sweater and dropping it at the top of the stairs, she kicked off her heals one by one making her way down the hall leaving a trail to the bedroom.

Luke franticly climbed the steps taking two at a time. When he reached the top, a smile tugged at his lips following her trail. He reached the bedroom finding the door slightly ajar before pushing it open the rest of the way. What he saw took his breath away. Lorelai stood there barefoot, hair undone, a tint of blush crept into her face as her eyes scanned his body working their way back up to his face locking with his own gaze of desire.

She quickly closed the distance between them - his manly hands reached out to her, pulling her flush against his body. Looping her arms around his neck once again their lips met. This wasn't like the other times sure they've made-out before – yes - but this was her starving body finding nourishment in him. Teeth clashing, as soft moans filled the room.

His hands seemed lost still resting on the sides of her abdomen, like they were unsure of where to hold her. Not breaking the kiss, Lorelai took his hands and placed them on her hips. His hands gently rolled her hips towards his, and she pushed herself even closer to him, eliciting a moan from his lips that were over hers. Rotating her hips over his, she reached her hands up to his hair, running her fingers through the soft strands and curling her fingers down and around his face.

Luke's fingers lightly made their way up her rib cage, leaving a trail of gooseflesh behind curving around her breasts. She felt her arousal grow as his hands continue caressing her breast, kneading them and pinching through the material of her dress. A throaty moan slipped her lips as they separated, leaving her mouth working its way down his neck, kissing and sucking the skin right below his ear, knowing it will leave a mark.

"Fuck.." Luke hissed as she ran her tongue over his earlobe, then catching it between her teeth. "Take my dress off, you beautiful idiot." She whispered stepping back, letting her hands fall from his hair, down his chest then dropping down to her sides. Not wanting to waste any more time, he bunched the hem of her dress in his hands and quickly pulled it off over her head, leaving her clad in her matching black lace bra and panties.

They were both fumbling trying to undress the other person. her hands trembled as she unbuttoned his dress shirt, her breathing uneven and breathy, needing to feel his skin against hers. She was three buttons down when she threw caution in the wind and ripped the buttons the rest of the way. Lorelai finally pulled his shirt off of him, leaving him bare chested, open to her. Lightly running her nails down his chest then hooking her fingers in the loops of his pants, she pulled him back with her to the edge of the bed. She breathed in the scent of his now sweaty chest, and reached for the buckle to his pants, when he gently clasped her hands removing them. He smiled, leaning over her to capture her lips in a passionate kiss.

Leaving her breathless once he broke the kiss sinking to his knees as he moved to her neck leaving wet sloppy kisses down to the valley between her breasts. Her mind, clouded as Luke traced the intricate lace along the top of mounds of her breast, going from one to the other, his hands alternating pinching her nipples turning them in to hard peaks. She moaned his name, her entire body had ached for him for all these months, and here he was, his body close to her exposed body, "More. I need more." She begged weaving her fingers through his hair.

He smiled against her chest upon hearing the desperation in her voice "Can you move more on the bed?" He looked up at her.

Lorelai gave him a playful pout as he stopped doing what he was doing with her chest, but she was glad after she got into the middle of the bed, and he got down on all fours on the bed above her.

He started right below her bra. And his mouth touched one place, and she felt dizzy with pleasure, he kissed it tenderly. And it didn't dawn on her until the third or fourth place that he strategically kissed. He's kissing all of my scars. He's putting his mark on them, almost erasing them. Taking in their beauty. And the care and love that he was showing to her aroused her even more.

She could feel him moving down her abdomen, and he let his tongue linger in one spot, twisting around before kissing her, and she could feel her abdominal muscled tighten, which caused her hips to move upwards. He growled at her arousal, and then he moved back up, and with his mouth, he started to unclasp her bra then dragged the remainder off with his teeth.

All of her body was on fire, every nerve in her body was on high alert for Luke's touch as his hands grasped her hips while he teased her. The air hit her breasts, causing them to perk up. And she could feel his body tense as his mouth found one of her nipples, latching on to it, causing her to cry out, "Oh! Luke…fuck…please Lu-" He just sucked harder, his tongue drawing circles over her nipple. Her hands, gripped onto his hips grinding her sensitive middle on his growing erection desperate for release. He moved to the other nipple, again using his magical tongue to cause her to cry out, "Jesus, Luke."

He started to move again down her abdomen, bucking her hips when he finally moved lower, which was what she wanted. He grazed his hands over her thighs, slowly moving upwards. She growled at him, "I need you, Luke, please."

And he just laughed, one of his fingers running down her stomach, down between her folds into her wetness. "You're so wet." He rasped, positioning himself between her legs his tongue finding her clit, causing her whole body to shudder at the touch.

"Luke…" She whimpered,

The electricity that flew through her body made her arch her back in utter ecstasy as his tongue moved around in a circle around her clit before taking the small bud and started to suck on it with, while taking his hand and sinfully let one finger enter her, and she fought to keep her voice from alerting the neighbors, and she just whimpered "Oh, oh… my… god don't stop." Gripping his hair holding him between her thighs

Which only made Luke even more energetic placing a second finger in as his tongue continued to work its magic. Just the thought that Luke was here. That this was happening with Luke. And the constant movement, the tenderness, the care he was taking… she started to move against him, her body responding without her thought. Her only thought was the amazing ecstasy that was coming. And then it hit her. It was like a sudden flood on a desert ground. Her whole body shook, the pleasure coming from him rippling through her whole body, shattering through all barriers she had with sex. She could barely breathe, as the shattering orgasm shot through her body. He didn't stop until she was still, her breathing taking a little bit to get back to normal.

But she wasn't done. She needed something else. She needed him to need her.

"Luke, are you ready?" She asked, barely able to lift her head off of the bed after what had just happened.

"Lorelai, I don't know if you…"

She sat up, using her arms to hold her up, and said, "Luke, take those pants off right now or I'm going to."

When he didn't move, she crawled over to where he was lying face up on the bed. Now it was her turn. She didn't want to rush things. So, she straddled his hips, and she slowly let her hips find their way down onto his growing erection in his pants. And then she pulled her hips up, teasing him with her body.

"Lorelai…" But she didn't stop, each time she ground against him, she stayed down there longer and longer. Until she could feel every inch of him had grown quite large. And now she leaned down, and very slowly, she unzipped his pants. And pulled the jeans down off of his legs, leaving her there with his tented boxers. Being very careful to touch every part of his erection while she took his boxers off she elicited a few "fuck Lorelai…" from the man growing in front of her.

Once his legs were free and clear, she started grinding again, and his hips thrust upwards when she got right above him.

And then she walked her body down his, her hands moving upwards to his chest, up to his face, and she let her lips find his, giving up all her oxygen as their tongues tangled once more before she said, "Fuck me."

And his eyes opened and looked at her, clear and open. "Are you sure?"

She looked at him biting her bottom lip and nodded her head, grinding her hips again.

He slowly flipped them over, being careful not to lay completely on top of her to pressure her. And his hands found her clit once more while he hoovered at her entrance with his cock.

And for the first time in a long time, Lorelai begged, "Mhh Luke, just fuck me. Now."

She locked eyes with him. And then she realized, He's watching me to make sure this is what I want. She held his gaze, and thrust her hips against him, feeling the tip of his cock right there out of her reach. He went in slowly, and she could feel him enter her. But she was swimming. Swimming in the fact that his man right there was so concerned about her that he was still looking at her. He wasn't looking away, he wasn't calling her names, he wasn't hitting her, he wasn't doing anything but watch to make sure that she was ok.

She could feel him pushing into her filling her. But it didn't hurt. It didn't tear. It was gentle. And she could feel her slick wet walls hugging every inch of him.

When he was all the way in, she again found his eyes, and then she asked him, "Luke… please…" And with that Luke starts pushing himself in and out of her slowly at first but then picking up the pace. Their breath became labored as the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room.

Lorelai let out deep moan as she wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him closer to her making his thrust deeper. Hitting the spot only he can, making her walls flutter as a new wave of orgasm starts to build up inside her. Luke groans against her lips before capturing them swallowing her moans. Unable to hold on any longer Lorelai breaks the kiss and cries out as her orgasm hits for the second time. Gripping Luke's bare back as she comes. Luke continues thrusting into her riding out her orgasm until it gets the best of him and he's spilling into her letting out an animalistic groan.

Their bodies laid breathless and tangled together when Lorelai realized that this was everything that she had been missing. The oneness. The complete understanding between the two people. The earth-shattering, mind-numbing light that overwhelmed them both, splintering together into one another.

She Looks over to Luke her blue eyes sparkling smiling ear to ear, just trying to catch her breath and calm herself down.

And he smirked at her, like he was proud of how absolutely breathless she was, and he sarcastically asked, "Any more ideas about anvils?"


	91. 91

Dearest Rory,

I must begin this letter off with the beautiful quote from Casablanca, "I'd bet they're asleep in New York. I'd bet they're asleep all over America." Because as you have seen from the postmark on this letter, we are in lovely Athens.

Please don't let this letter make you jealous. Well, actually, I think it's ok that you might be a little jealous. Since I assume that it is cold and wet in New Haven right now. A little jealousy might be fine. The sun here is so gorgeous on my skin, the salt water of the ocean is making my hair even softer than yours.

Well, I guess it's time for me to do some explaining. I know that everything happened in such a blur that weekend, and there wasn't much time to talk about everything. So while I sit here, on the sunny beach, I shall explain.

It all happened so fast. Even for your impulsive, absolutely crazy mother. As you know, Luke and I had been dating for about three months when one night, Luke sat up in bed in the middle of the night, walked over to the window, and said that he thought he smelled snow. He then proceeded to drag me out of bed, hand me my coat and hat, slip on some shoes, and then pulled me out of the house to the middle of the yard. And it was snowing. So beautiful.

And then he got down on one knee, pulled out a little black box, and he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. It was so magical, the snow all around, knowing that he had been waiting for that moment for a very long time, because it hadn't snowed in a few weeks. And, as you know, I said yes.

And then he stood up, we kissed, we went inside, and we fell asleep without anything else happening. Yeah, I knew you wouldn't buy that, but what kind of mother would I be to write in a letter to her daughter that she had some of the most mind-blowing sex she had ever had in her life? I would be a horrible mother. So we just slept. It was amazing. The sleep, that is.

And the next morning, while he was pouring my coffee, he told me that he didn't want to wait. That he wanted me to be his wife as soon as possible. And he asked me to go and elope with him.

But, as you know, I told him that I would elope with him only under one condition. That I could call you and you would come to be my witness at the courthouse. So I called, you came, and we met at the courthouse. I am sorry that there wasn't more time to explain things. Luke had booked our honeymoon flight out only minutes after the ceremony was done. But it meant so much to me that you were there – I couldn't let you not be part of that special day with me again. Thank you for coming at such short notice.

And since then, Luke and I have been having much fun here in Athens. So much that Luke extended the honeymoon for another two weeks, putting us at a total of five weeks away from life to just be together. I think it's because Luke enjoys never wearing clothes – he walks on the beach completely naked. Luke told me to tell you that he doesn't walk around naked. But he does. Maybe. But the beach is amazing. We are having such a relaxing sleep. So much sleep. Hint, sleep isn't the word I'm thinking of.

How is life there? How is Yale? Everything working out with Logan? I think of you too often, knowing that there are probably still so many things that are hard for him, being the head of his father's company at such a young age.

Have you been back to Stars Hollow? Luke wants me to ask about the diner. In fact, he wants me to specifically ask if Caesar has been eating out of the pie plate again? I am not sure exactly how you are supposed to know that, but I thought I would ask anyway.

I hope this letter finds you well. I think of you every day. Since we are staying for a while longer, the address on the letterhead is the address to send any reply maid to. I miss you so much, but I am so proud of you for pursuing your dream even through the difficult times. I love you so much, kid, and I will see you hopefully in a few weeks.

All my love,

Mom

P.S. I enclosed a small gift for you. This is the reason that this letter makes any sense whatsoever, because I have not been able to drink any alcohol while here


	92. 92

AND IT IS HERE – IT IS DONE. FOR NOW.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME THROUGH THIS LONG, HARD, TAXING JOURNEY. THIS REALLY EXPRESSES SO MANY OF MY OWN EMOTIONS, FEARS, CIRCUMSTANCES – I GUESS, PART OF MY SOUL. THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ALONG ON THE ADVENTURE.

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HELPED ME WORK THROUGH THINGS IN THE STORY – IT MEANS A LOT. BiteMarksonHertongue – YOU MADE THIS STORY WHAT IT IS! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME AND PUTTING PART OF YOUR HEART INTO THIS STORY! IT MEANS A LOT.

ONE LAST CALL FOR REVIEWS – LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE IN A SEQUEL. I CURRENTLY HAVE TWO OTHER IDEAS FOR GILMORE GIRLS FANFICTION – SO STAY TUNED TO THAT.

AND ONE LAST THOUGHT – THE STORY TITLE IS BASED ON ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS, AT THE BEGINNING. THIS LAST CHAPTER PULLS EVERYTHING TOGETHER – IF YOU WANT TO GET THE FULL EFFECT, HAVE THAT PLAYING AS YOU READ THE LAST CHAPTER~

BUT I WANT TO PUT THE LYRICS HERE JUST SO YOU CAN SEE HOW PERFECTLY THIS DESCRIBES LORELAI'S STRUGGLES THROUGHOUT THIS STORY.

At The Beginning"

(feat. Donna Lewis)

We were strangers, starting out on a journey

Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through

Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing

At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you

Unexpected, what you did to my heart

When I lost hope, you were there to remind me

This is the start

[Chorus:]

And life is a road that I wanna keep going

Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing

Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning

I'll be there when the storm is through

In the end I wanna be standing

At the beginning with you

We were strangers, on a crazy adventure

Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true

Now here we stand, unafraid of the future

At the beginning with you

[Chorus]

Knew there was somebody, somewhere

A new love in the dark

Now I know my dream will live on

I've been waiting so long

Nothing's gonna tear us apart

[Chorus]

In the end I want to be standing

At the beginning with you...

Dear Mom,

Things here have been good. School is hard, but isn't that what's to be expected? The modern Literature class I'm taking is so very tough, but I'm learning so much from all the material. And, actually, some of my reading habits as a kid are paying off. A lot of the kids in my class are freaking out trying to get through some of the reading lists, but I have most of them already finished.

Logan is learning to cope with things that happened. Of course he is overwhelmed, but he is thankful that his father had someone skilled in running everything that could take over some of the time-consuming aspects of running a business until Logan is out of college. He is doing really well in his business classes, and we are both staying so busy with school there's barely any time to party. Again, I said barely, so I'm not outright lying to you.

As far as other things, I think that as hard as everything was for Logan with his father, we both grew closer because of everything. We both had fathers who were barely involved in our lives who ended up committing atrocious crimes, and will spend the rest of their lives paying for those crimes. It was hard, as you know, for me to come to terms with the fact that Christopher did what he did. As a kid, I always looked up to him, wanting him to be part of my life, and was always so excited to see him when he came around. But after knowing what he did, it was just like my picture of him was shattered. And Logan had that same feeling, knowing that his father had hid things in his past that sent him to prison. So as much as I wish that none of this ever happened, and if I could turn back time, I would push Christopher away as hard as I could from my childhood – as much as we both would change what happened, we were able to help each other deal with feelings that we both were feeling. And we are able to see when the other is hurting. I feel like our relationship is so much stronger because of everything that happened. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

I went back to the house last weekend, to just get away from stress here at school. Everything looks like normal. Babette has planted some bulbs in the front yard; I think she wants them to surprise you, so be surprised when in a couple of months there are beautiful flowers coming out of the grass.

The town seems the same. Well, almost the same. Of course it doesn't seem the same without Luke there at the diner. Caesar is doing a good job with running the place, but he hired Kirk as temporary help. Which has been quite a disaster, if you ask me. But if you're telling Luke, then you tell him that it is just a rumor that Kirk picks food off of the plates as he takes them to customers, eating part of their toast or bacon when he hands their plates to them. But if you're not telling Luke, Kirk does that. So I just asked for a donut to go, and got a donut with only half of the frosting on it, and the other half was on Kirk's finger.

Also one more thing you need to be ready for. Miss Patty and Taylor have gathered the whole town into putting together a wedding celebration for you and Luke when you get back. Complete with streamers, bartenders, dancing, and, my personal favorite, gifts. So, be ready for the surprise.

Grandma called. She heard from Sookie that you and Luke eloped. Wait, don't roll your eyes just yet. Because she was very polite on the phone. She asked me about Yale, about how things were with me and Logan. And then she mentioned the fact that you and Luke had eloped. I didn't tell her any details, because I know you don't want them involved in your life at all, after what happened. And I don't blame you. She just told me that she was so happy for you, that she was proud of you for finding a man who cared so much about you, and that if you ever wanted to call and tell her about it, she would be happy to listen.

I know what you are doing, rolling your eyes, and probably complaining to Luke about your manipulative mother. I really do know you, Mom. Because you probably read what I just wrote after you complained to Luke. But there is one things that Grandma said that I thought you might want to know. She asked me if you were happy. And I said you really were. And then, she said, "And that's all I want for my daughter." I know that doesn't erase the fact of what happened, or give them a pass from what happened, but I think that maybe, just maybe, they are trying to let you know without pushing you that they are proud of you.

But on to happier things.

There's something to be said about the way that a mother tells her daughter that she's pregnant. It is a special time, when you find out that you're going to have a little brother or sister. I have always imagined that you would call me into the living room, snuggle me up to you, and tell me, "Rory, what would you think of having a little baby around the house?" And then I would get to freak out and jump around with you, feel your belly, and just be happy together.

I never ever imagined that I would open an airmail package from overseas, pull out a letter, and then have a pregnancy test fall into my hand. If it wasn't gross enough that you sent me a stick that you had peed on, you didn't tell me anything about the test until the last line of your letter. You made me read through all the things about you and Luke having sex, you and Luke being naked, you and Luke on the warm beach – before I got to the fact that you were telling me that you were going to have a baby.

Of course, I still freaked out, jumping up and down, feeling so happy. Poor Logan thought that I had officially inherited your crazy genes. But when I showed him, he was so happy for both of you too.

But that wasn't the best part even of the whole debacle. After I read the letter, I went to throw the airmail package away, only to find a second pregnancy test at the bottom of the package. It took me about three seconds to put the two and two together. And in this equation, two and two means twins, right? Why else would you send me two pee sticks? And then it was the happy dance yet again, thinking that not only would I have one little brother or sister, but two little brothers, or sisters, or a brother and a sister. I don't think there is any other combination, but if there is, let me know. I am so happy for the two of you. I know you two had talked about having a baby when you were together before, so I hope that this makes you as happy as it makes me. I hope you are not opposed to having some baby clothes at the house for you, ready when you get home. Those two are going to be spoiled rotten by their favorite older sister.

I can't wait to see you soon. It's been too long. I hope that Luke knows once he gets you home he's going to have to share you with me. Because I need some mother daughter time. I'm thinking a major movie night, maybe even Willy Wonka, that is, if Luke hasn't put you on some crazy healthy diet thing. If he has, we shall run away to my apartment and have some secret candy.

I am so happy for your life right now. Married. Pregnant with twins. And a wonderful mother – who could ask for anything more in a mom? Not me. I know a few months ago, neither one of us would ever have thought that our lives would look like they do today. I would have never thought I could have my mother back, much less a mother who married the love of her life, the man I always wanted to be my father. I never would have imagined that you and I would get along like we did before everything happened. And, most importantly, I never, in my wildest dreams, could have imagined how safe and secure I would feel knowing that you are safe with Luke. I am so happy that you two are finally together, that you are both so much in love, and that I am going to be able to watch my little siblings grow up in a loving home with two of the best parents any kid could ever want. I love you, Mom.

Love,

Rory


End file.
